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w w w . b o b a n d t o m . c o m           

January 7 - 11, 2007

Also a Stand-up Comedian
After being named the Funniest College Comedian in America during the HBO 2001 US Comedy Arts Festival, it didn’t take long for Dan Levy to become a breakout stand-up act.  Since then he’s appeared on Comedy Central’s Premium Blend, The Late Late Show, The Andy Dick Show and numerous series on MTV.  Along with his above credits, Dan was hired to help develop a sitcom, co-starred in the film My Sexiest Year (due out in ’08) and is currently producing an animated series.  And yes, he does still perform stand-up comedy too.

 

We Have a Winner
Things haven’t always been so great for comedian Jamie Lissow.  For example, the first time he entered a comedy contest, he finished in fifth place, out of six, and was told he wasn’t very funny.  So he gave law school a try, but ended up dropping out.  After honing his act a bit, he gave comedy competitions another try and made it on to Star Search, where he lost to eventual winner, Alonzo Bodden.  This didn’t dampen his spirits as he was soon back on television on NBC’s Friday Night and The Tonight Show with Jay Leno.  Finally, he decided to give comedy competitions on last shot and auditioned for Last Comic Standing.  He was featured on the show, but didn’t make the cut.  However, the person standing next to him on stage did, and went on to win the whole thing.  That person, Alonzo Bodden.

 

Big Butter Heywood
It's been 20 years since Heywood Banks made his first appearance on the show, and he's been a fixture ever since., From his first hits like Toast and Flies Eyes to his more recent classics like Trauma to the Groin and Big Butter Jesus, Heywood has appeared on almost every B&T album and is one of our most frequent guests. Armed with his ever-tuned guitar, and an adequate grasp of his hysterical lyrics, Heywood will be joining us in the studio to sing a few of these classic songs, and who knows, he might even have a new one. Heywood also just released the brand new album, Big Butter, which is available with all his other CDs at comedyhome.com

 

Extreme Image Makeover
Over the past few years Paul Mecurio has called in to share his helpful tips on how certain public figures, holidays and inanimate objects, could easily change their public images, and we're happy to say that this Tuesday, he'll be sharing his newest installment. Aside from makeovers, Mecurio is also a talented writer and comedian. He won an Emmy Award as a writer for Comedy Central's The Daily Show and makes regular appearances on MSNBC and FOX News as a political satirist.

The Sexy Sicilian
Since appearing on two seasons of NBC's comedy/reality series Last Comic Standing, Tammy Pescatelli has been a busy woman. And it's not just because she's a total knockout (though it helps), she's also one of the funniest female comics in the country. She's been one of our favorite guests for many years now but now the rest of the entertainment industry is figuring out what we've always known since she filled in for Kristi, Tammy's got a lot of potential. She's ben featured on GSN's Poker Royal and US Weekly's Fashion Police and starred in her own Comedy Central Stand-up Special. Mrs. Pescatelli (sorry boys, she married) is a Tonight Show veteran as well as a veteran of the USO comedy tour.

JORDAN WARD illustration

 

It's Always Spring Break with Pat Dailey
From Put-in-Bay, OH to Key West, FL singer/songwriter Pat Dailey has been a traveling Spring Break, selling out shows for almost two decades. With humorous tunes, a sly wit and a fondness for adult beverages, Dailey has built up a huge fan following of fellow party goers and people who just like to have a good time. He's a regular at the famed Sloppy Joe's in Key West, and fills the place with college coeds every night he plays there. He's also a favorite regular guest of BOB&TOM, and never fails to entertain with classics songs like The Oyster Song, Out Drinkin', and You're There.

 
Awkward Boy
in a Big World

After searching high, low and everywhere inbetween for the country's hottest young comedian, Sierra Mist (known for their sharp lemon lime flavor, funny commercials and good taste in comedy) decided that Ryan Hamilton was America’s Next Great Comic. But, even before the soft-drink giant discovered him, Hamilton was a rising star. He began performing standup in 2001 and by 2003 he had already placed in three national comedy competitions. Described as being an awkward boy in a big world, Hamilton is a natural story teller who finds humor in the most unlikely places, and whether it be the ludicrous nature of naked cats or the act of turning down a drug dealer politely, he enjoys the retelling of each incident immensely.

FACTOID – Ryan Hamilton says that back in high school he was named Prom King. No word on whether or not he still wears the crown.
 

Drew Wants to Be a Millionaire
Drew Carey has made a living as the beer drinking, joke telling, everyman of comedy.  With his black-framed glasses, buzz haircut and beefy build, Carey found a niche as the voice of the average guy.  Before long he took his shtick from stage to screen on the highly successful ABC sitcom, The Drew Carey Show, and later on the comedy game show, Who’s Line is It Anyway.  Though both of those programs have come and gone, Carey is once again putting his everyman charm and hosting prowess to good use on the new CBS game show, The Power of 10.  On the show Carey leads contestants through a game in which they only have to answer five questions in a row to win $10 Million.  In other news, Carey has also recently taken over as Bob Barker’s replacement on the all-new season of the long-running game show, The Price is Right.

 

You've Heard Words to Remember...
Tim Bedore has been a weekly Wednesday fixture on the show with his Vague But True editorials, which is why we're so eager to find out what his first installment of 2008 will be about. Over the past few years, these musings have helped us learn a lot about Tim, including his daughter's relationship with their dog Lexie and the speech he would have given if universities had asked him to talk to their graduates. But no matter the topic, we're happy he'll be reporting on it from his new home up north, where the introverts stare at their shoes and the extroverts stare at your shoes.

 

The NFL Song - Playoff Edition
While the BOB&TOM Show as on break, another NFL regular season has come to an end, but that doesn't mean you can't relive all the fun. That's right, Duke Tumatoe's back to recap all the exciting action you might have missed in his tribute to all things professional football, The NFL Song. With all the craziness taking place over the past few weeks, Duke's got a lot of pressure on him to fit everything into one exhilarating song. And who knows, maybe this week we'll even be treated to a new episode of Bass Talk.

 
Tuesday
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Back Behind the Pen
Bill Scheft writes monologues for The Late Show with David Letterman (thanks to Dave being able to work out an agreement with the striking writers), wrote "The Show" in Sports Illustrated, and is the author of the highly acclaimed novel, The Ringer, but right now he's first and foremost a sports fan. And with his Red Sox becoming World Series champions, his Patriots being favored to win the Super Bowl, and the Celtics leading the NBA, Bill's also a very happy guy. But even if you're not a sports nut, or the WGA revokes their agreement with The Late Show, Bill's also got a Thurber Prize nominated novel, Time Won't Let Me that you're sure to enjoy.

 

The Zany Report, 2008 Edition
If you're wondering why there is a feeling of emptiness deep inside your soul, it's because you've been without The Zany Report since last year (sorry about that, by law we have to do that joke once each January.) The Zany Report, as brought to you each week by Bob Zany, is the only feature we have that comes with its own comedy safety net, because even if the Report falls just a tad bit short of hilarity, America's Favorite game show "Fix the Joke Baby (Live)" will be able to turn that frown upside down. And once again some lucky fan will win a few cool T-shirts, Zany's chart topping CD, I Just Can't Win Baby, and a very valuable one year subscription to the BOB&TOM VIP site.

 
 

The Fat Guy With the Glasses
Originally from New York, Bob Biggerstaff moved to Houston Texas while he was a freshman in High School.  Some say it was this diverse upbringing that gave him the insight to appeal to a wide variety of audiences while performing on stage.  Others say it was his ability to write funny jokes.  Either way, Biggerstaff has made a living as a standup comedian, playing clubs all over the country and even appearing on television.  He’s been featured on HBO, Comedy Central, Sierra Mist’s Search for the Next Great Comic and even NBC’s Last Comic Standing.  If you don’t remember which one Bob Biggerstaff was, he has a simple reminder; he’s the fat one with the glasses.

 

Comedy Through the Ages
If an event of any importance has happened in the past, chances are comedian Scott Dunn can write a joke about it.  Well, not just a joke, an entire routine to be exact.  How can we make such a bold statement?  We have the proof.  Scott has spent the past year calling in to the show every Monday to give us a little history lesson, with a twist. These lessons aren’t boring and stuffy like when your grandpa rambles on about his youth.  No, these tales from times past are chock-full of jokes, laughs and even a few actual historical tidbits you might be able to use in a trivia game down the road.

 

 

 

 


"My biggest fear about voting is getting trapped in the booth."
- Jamie Lissow

"This is like a think-tank of nothing."
- Tammy Pescatelli on The BOB&TOM Show

"Are we on the air or are these practice shows we're doing?"
- Chick McGee

"I've come across a fecal monument or two."
- Tom Griswold on the stains on shopping carts

"Kristi Lee Love You Long Time."
- Possible slogan for Kristi Lee in 2008

"Never play flag football in the nude."
- Bob Kevoian

"Whore's gotta eat too."
- Kristi Lee after hearing the story of the prostitute at Thanksgiving dinner

"I'm the boy in the bubble without the bubble."
- Jimmy Pardo on his multiple allergies

"Instruction manuals are nothing more than another man's opinion."
- Chick McGee

"Kids to me are like ghosts. I'm not afraid of them, but I don't want to move into a building that has them."
- Auggie Smith

"My ex-wife told me she wanted a divorce because she'd lost the tingle. I don't know what a tingle is, but it's equivalent to one house."
- Emo Philips

"If you start with it in there, it's okay."
- Bob Kevoian explaining how a thong is different than a wedgies

"I have a gorgeous taint."
- Chick McGee

"Her favorite recording artist is Tomas Edison."
- Bob Kevoian to Granny during the Shoe-In of the Week.

"I'm not going to get an operation on my johnson just because some e-mail keeps suggesting it. But my wife just keeps sending it."
- Nathan Trenholm

"Every project my dad worked on started with 'I can do it' and ended with 'nobody's gonna see that'."
- Andres Fernandez

"How low have you sank when you are going to Greg Hahn for relationship advice."
- Orny Adams to Kristi Lee

"Didn't we leave Tuna Town and move to cookoo-ville?"
- Tom Griswold on Anne Heche

"Now on sale we've got the OJ Simpson 'Find the Real Killer' Mirror. Is it magic or just common sense."
- Billy Mayzing with a new crop of amazing products

"When I'm 80 years old, just sign me up for a nice bowl movement."
-Tom Griswold on Hef and getting older

"My dog will talk your ear off if you let him."
- Dan Grueter on giving his dog a redneck voice

"They show too many commercials at the movies. That's the biggest crime in the world."
- Bob Kevoian

"The only difference between southern sodomy and prison rape is their taste in music."
- Tom Griswold

"I bet gay guys have sex all the time because there aren't any women to tell them no."
- Larry Reeb

"My to-do list consists of women's names and drugs."
- Shane Mauss

"Joe Theismann won't be here for another four hours so you may want to hold off on taking that Viagra."
- Tom Griswold to Chick McGee

"Ladies, if you don't want to date a drunk, don't go shopping at the drunk store."
- Shane Mauss on women picking up men in bars

"If I stopped drinking scotch, Johnny Walker would have to get rid of one of their trucks."
- Ron White

"Are you at all self sufficient?"
- Tom Griswold to Ron White

"I played basketball in highschool and they used to call me the mailman. Not because I was good, but because I used to shoot up the locker room after a bad loss."
- Rob Haney

"I like the WNBA. There is nothing like a two-hour layup drill."
- John Evans