THE BOB & TOM SHOW - Program Notes

w w w . b o b a n d t o m . c o m

February 4 - 8, 2008

The Gentleman Farmer
Though Drew Hastings is one of our most frequent visitors, we never run out of things to talk about when he stops by. It may have to do with his conversational skills, or years worth of standup comedy material, but more than likely it's his life as a metrosexual farmer that keeps things interesting. Drew may be one of the most brilliant comedians working today, but we're positive he's the only guy raising pigs and growing corn while wearing a black mock turtle-neck sweater.

Almost the Perfect Season
Bill Scheft writes monologues for The Late Show with David Letterman, wrote "The Show" in Sports Illustrated, and is the author of the highly acclaimed novel, The Ringer, but right now he's a depressed Boston sports fan. When we last spoke to Bill, his teams were the toast of the town and the top dogs in each of their respective leagues. But since then, the Celtics have piled up the injuries, the Patriots lost in the Super Bowl and the Red Sox, well, they're still World Series champions. But even with a bit of disappointment in his heart, Scheft is still one of the funniest guys we know. Oh, and if you haven't already heard, he's also got a Thurber Prize nominated novel, Time Won't Let Me on his already impressive resume.

Southern Fried Chick
When former school bus driver turned standup comedian Etta May enters a room, you know you're in for a treat. It might be her 250lb frame, horned rimmed glasses, polyester pants and trademark floral blouse that give you the giggles at first, but it'll be her off the wall stories about her failed truck driver husband Delbert and three mischievous children that you'll walk away from the club howling about. Etta first discovered she was destined to perform comedy in front of large groups of people when she was forced to entertain a rowdy bingo crowd after the "ball sucker" got stuck. Since then she's appeared on Oprah, MTV and is a regular on CMT as part of the Southern Fried Chicks Comedy Tour.

im Bedore,
This Time For Sure
It's been over a week since we last visited with comedian Tim Bedore, and after going an entire Wednesday without hearing from him, we're eager to find out what he' got to say in a very special Thursday edition of Vague But True. Live from his home in Minnesota where he's seated comfortably at mission control, Tim shares his thoughts on life, society, politics and his day to day activities, presented in the form of in-depth, entertaining editorials. Over the past few years, these musings have helped us learn a lot about Bedore, including his thoughts on being a dad, being a liberal, and even being a comedian.

The NFL Song - Super Bowl XLII Edition
According to numbers compiled by the fine folks at Nielsen, Super Bowl XLII was the second most watched event in the history of television. Close to 100 Million people tuned in to see one of the greatest football games in history. But if you happen to be one of the few people who didn't watch as the underdog Giants defeated the previously prefect Patriots, don't worry, because we've got Duke Tumatoe and his NFL Song to get you all caught up on the game, the league and the season that was.

Chris “Captain hilariousness” Cashman
Going into this year, comedian Chris Cashman was only the third most popular man with his name on the Internet, with the first being a realtor and the other being a body double, but after being named the “World’s Greatest Joke-Teller of 2007” by ComicWonder.com, we’re thinking his rankings may rise, at least a little. No stranger to success, Cashman’s career profile consists of a number of awards including the four Emmys he won for his work as a host and emcee. Along with being a standup comedian (and world class joke-teller), “Captainhilariosness” is also a top-notch voice actor and frequently gets freelance work producing “webisodes”, radio commercials, corporate videos and anything else that allows him to tell jokes and do goofy voices.

Mark “Neiedermeyer” Metcalf
Known primarily for his role as the Delta house hating ROTC cadet, Douglas C. Neidermeyer in the classic film National Lampoon’s Animal House, actor Mark Metcalf is more than a one-film wonder. Before turning to Hollywood, Metcalf was actually an accomplished stage actor, working with a number of Repertory companies around the country, then after the success of Animal House, he made his way behind the camera to direct films such as When It Comes Early, Bikini Bar and You’ve Still Got Most of Your Hair. And though he’s continued to work in both film and television, appearing hit shows like Buffy the Vampire, Party of Five and as the Maestro on Seinfeld, these days Mark spends a lot of his time running his restaurant, Libby Montana, in Mequon, WI and continues to support the Milwaukee Film Festival.

Tim “VBT” Bedore
It's been a long seven days since we last visited with comedian Tim Bedore, which is why we're so eager to have him back on his special line ready to deliver another exciting edition of Vague But True. Live from his home in Minnesota where he's seated comfortably at mission control, Tim shares his thoughts on life, society, politics and his day to day activities, presented in the form of in-depth, entertaining editorials. Over the past few years, these musings have helped us learn a lot about Bedore, including his thoughts on downloading movies, the joy one can find in a SkyMall magazine, his time spent at summer camp and his theory on how animals are trying to wipe out our species.

Costaki “The Greek” Economopoulos
If the name didn't tip you off, comedian Costaki Economopoulos comes from a Greek background, which is why it's not surprising he's been described as a “joke philosopher.” And we're positive he's not the only one saying that. Known for his clever writing, Costaki's punch lines have been heard on The Tonight Show, BET, and MTV. In other news, Costaki is featured twice on the new BOB&TOM album We Just Landed with his Economonologue and is dating the beautiful and funny comedienne, Caroline Rhea.

BOB&TOM in the Bahamas Mon
It's time for the BOB&TOM Show, Bahamian Edition. This Monday and Tuesday, the show is coming to you live from The Sheraton Our Lucaya Beach and Golf Resort in Freeport, Bahamas for B&T's annual a post Super Bowl (or, "The Big Game" in legal speak) bonanza. This year, the cast will be joined by comedians Mike Birbiglia (and his brother Joe), David Crowe and Paul Mecurio. It's also rumored that good friends Donnie Baker, Sid Gurney, Ken Tarmac and the Love Brothers may also be making the trip. So join the gang as they attempt to do the show in front of a live audience, in another country and with horrible hangovers. It should be fun. Thanks again to NAPA Auto Parts for sponsoring this fun and exciting annual event. NAPA, get the good stuff.

Jan 28 - Feb 1
Program Notes

"Everything I touch turns to sold."
- Kenny Tarmac

"You can talk about me in the tabloids all you want, but those come out every week and are forgotten. Songs like this, they stick around a lot longer."
- Kid Rock on his new song "So Hott" and how song writers get revenge

"The only professions where people prefer someone with little experience are politics and prostitution."
- Scott Dunn

"As a liberal, it pains me to say this, but when is America finally going to wake up and realize that tigers hate gay people."
- Auggie Smith on the recent tiger attacks and Siegfried and Roy.

"In Asia, the name Ty(rone) means 'creativity.' In America it means 'not hiring.'"
- Ty Barnett

"Why would I lie to you, we're not married?"
- Ross Bennett to Bob Kevoian

"My biggest fear about voting is getting trapped in the booth."
- Jamie Lissow

"This is like a think-tank of nothing."
- Tammy Pescatelli on The BOB&TOM Show

"Are we on the air or are these practice shows we're doing?"
- Chick McGee

"I've come across a fecal monument or two."
- Tom Griswold on the stains on shopping carts

"Kristi Lee Love You Long Time."
- Possible slogan for Kristi Lee in 2008

"Never play flag football in the nude."
- Bob Kevoian

"Whore's gotta eat too."
- Kristi Lee after hearing the story of the prostitute at Thanksgiving dinner

"I'm the boy in the bubble without the bubble."
- Jimmy Pardo on his multiple allergies

"Instruction manuals are nothing more than another man's opinion."
- Chick McGee

"Kids to me are like ghosts. I'm not afraid of them, but I don't want to move into a building that has them."
- Auggie Smith

"My ex-wife told me she wanted a divorce because she'd lost the tingle. I don't know what a tingle is, but it's equivalent to one house."
- Emo Philips

"If you start with it in there, it's okay."
- Bob Kevoian explaining how a thong is different than a wedgies

"I have a gorgeous taint."
- Chick McGee

"Her favorite recording artist is Tomas Edison."
- Bob Kevoian to Granny during the Shoe-In of the Week.

"I'm not going to get an operation on my johnson just because some e-mail keeps suggesting it. But my wife just keeps sending it."
- Nathan Trenholm

"Every project my dad worked on started with 'I can do it' and ended with 'nobody's gonna see that'."
- Andres Fernandez

"How low have you sank when you are going to Greg Hahn for relationship advice."
- Orny Adams to Kristi Lee

"Didn't we leave Tuna Town and move to cookoo-ville?"
- Tom Griswold on Anne Heche

"Now on sale we've got the OJ Simpson 'Find the Real Killer' Mirror. Is it magic or just common sense."
- Billy Mayzing with a new crop of amazing products

"When I'm 80 years old, just sign me up for a nice bowl movement."
-Tom Griswold on Hef and getting older

"My dog will talk your ear off if you let him."
- Dan Grueter on giving his dog a redneck voice

"They show too many commercials at the movies. That's the biggest crime in the world."
- Bob Kevoian

"The only difference between southern sodomy and prison rape is their taste in music."
- Tom Griswold

"I bet gay guys have sex all the time because there aren't any women to tell them no."
- Larry Reeb

"My to-do list consists of women's names and drugs."
- Shane Mauss

"Joe Theismann won't be here for another four hours so you may want to hold off on taking that Viagra."
- Tom Griswold to Chick McGee

"Ladies, if you don't want to date a drunk, don't go shopping at the drunk store."
- Shane Mauss on women picking up men in bars

"If I stopped drinking scotch, Johnny Walker would have to get rid of one of their trucks."
- Ron White

"Are you at all self sufficient?"
- Tom Griswold to Ron White

"I played basketball in highschool and they used to call me the mailman. Not because I was good, but because I used to shoot up the locker room after a bad loss."
- Rob Haney

"I like the WNBA. There is nothing like a two-hour layup drill."
- John Evans