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w w w . b o b a n d t o m . c o m           

February 27 - March 3 2006

March 3, 2006
The Pain of
Ross Bennett

Comedian Eddy Strange used to be comedian Ross Bennett, until he switched back to his god-given name, followed by a change back to Strange, and then finally returning as Ross Bennett, version 2.0. Got all that? Once he made the executive decision to pick a moniker for himself and stick with it, Bennett became the "best kept secret in show business." His entertainment career began when he dropped out of West Point during his sophomore year in order to take up a life of comedy and theater. Though his parents didn't find the career change all that humorous at first, who's laughing now that Bennett has been able to make a name (or two) for himself in doing work he loves. Ross recently released his first CD, New York Country, and he made his first appearance on a B&T project, with his track about the pain of dating on the new album, Happy Hour.

 

March 3, 2006
Hello McFly,
Anybody Home?
When he wasn’t able to break into the industry as an actor, Tom Wilson turned to stand-up comedy in order to get his fix for performing on stage. Though this wasn’t his initial career of choice, the move was successful and earned him guest appearances on The Tonight Show with both Johnny and Jay, David Letterman, Regis and all the major morning shows. From there Tom was eventually able to break into acting and has since starred in some twenty-five feature films and a number of television shows. After all this time, however, it’s still on stage performing stand-up comedy where Wilson feels most at home. And with a complete arsenal of funny stories, solid stand-up, and hilarious music, how could he not? Wilson recently released a brand new comedy album which he modestly titled, Tom Wilson is Funny and he'll be appearing in the new Larry the Cable Guy Film, Health Inspector

 

March 3, 2006
Welcome to Somerville
Even at an early age, Mike Somerville knew he was different. From leading a rebellion of students as a Kindergartner to setting off a smoke bomb as part of a sixth grade talent show, he’s always found a way to separate himself from the crowd; whether it be by his choice or theirs. Even when he entered the working world after college after his father insisted that he needed to find some real employment, Mike found that he didn’t fit in. All that waking up early and constant personal hygiene was just too much for him to take. That’s why he decided to fall back on a talent he’d picked up as a freshman in college, stand up comedy, and he hasn’t looked back since.

 

March 3, 2006
Shayma Tash Is
One Busy Woman

With her impressive list of television credits, you’d wonder how Shayma Tash ever has time to perform standup comedy. Between working as a fashion expert on the E! Network, appearing as a correspondent on The Tonight Show and The Best Damn Sports Show, Period, hosting shows on ABC Family, shooting national TV commercials and performing sketch comedy on The WB, Shayma is one busy woman. However, she somehow still finds a way to headline the clubs in her hometown of LA, perform for the troops overseas and continue to hit the comedy clubs around the country.

 

March 3, 2006
Big Name, Medium Man
He’s funny, he’s handsome, and as you can tell by all the hyperlinks below, he's got a lot going on. Of course we’re referring to stand-up comedian and journal writing extraordinaire, Mike Birbiglia. Whether on the phone or in the studio, we’ve been treated, for longer than we can remember, to Mike’s monologues that he calls his "Secret Public Journal.” In these musings, we’ve learned about his infatuation with pizza, his feelings on falling in love, his special Mormon underwear and what it’s like to live with your parents. Mike recently joined BOB&TOM in the Bahamas where he shared a few of his new SPJ's, and this week he'll be doing it over the phone, but If you just can't wait for the next entry, make sure you check out Mike’s website or his mySpace account where you can explore his pizza blog, numerous pictures and a store full of t-shirts, head shots and CDs including My Secret Public Album and Two Drink Mike, that are perfect for anyone who enjoys stuff. And if you're looking for even more to click on, find out about Mike finishing 9th in Comedy Central's Standup Showdown or check out his upcoming Comedy Central special, Medium Man on Campus.

FACTOID - If there is a link we forgot to add, we're sure you'll be able to find it at his website, www.birbigs.com.

 

March 3, 2006
A Stand-Up Dad
He’s clean, he’s got experience and he’s a stand-up guy. What more could you ask for in a stand-up comedian? Well, you’d like them to be funny too, but considering Milt Abel comes from good company (he regularly tours with Dan St. Paul and Tim Bedore as one of the Four Stand-Up Dads) we’re not too worried about that. Milt is a story teller while up on stage and his humor comes from his travels, childhood, his wife and kids, and sometimes just from getting dressed. Milt’s comedy has been featured on Evening at the Improv, Showtime and PBS.

 

March 2, 2006
What a Guy!
Guy Torry never imagined he’d be living the life of an entertainer. He was fully prepared to live out the rest of his life in his hometown of St. Louis, when for some strange reason he got the urge to move to LA. It wasn’t long after arriving in La La Land that Torry landed a job in the “industry.” He began working on the sitcom show Martin, performing various tasks. Though he was only a production assistant, his quick wit was discovered by some of the higher ups in the biz, and they soon promoted Guy to begin writing for the program. This led to his evolving first into a polished standup comedian, and then into an actor. He’s appeared in films such as The Animal, American History X, and most recently the John Grisham adaptation, The Runaway Jury.

 

March 2, 2006
Shrouded in Mystery
Chris Porter is a tough guy to find information about, but one thing he did make clear last time he stopped by was that he liked pot, a lot. The only other biographical info we were able to get out of him was that he is originally from Kansas City. MO, has been featured on NBC’s late night comedy show, Later Fridays, and was a guest at the 2004 Montreal Comedy Festival. Did we mention that he enjoys smoking pot? So make sure to listen close when he makes his sophomore visit to the BOB&TOM Show, and maybe he’ll help us fill in the blanks in this bio, if he even remembers them himself.

 

March 2, 2006
Our First Line of Defense Against The Animal Conspiracy

Since Tim Bedore's popular segment, Vague But True, has become a regular feature on the BOB&TOM show, certain topics seem to pop up on a regular basis. One of the most popular subject matters has been the secret war raging between man and beast which Tim has dubbed the "Animal Conspiracy." The first installment of this larger work appeared on the album B&T Camel Toe almost two years ago, but as the news stories keep adding up and listener e-mails keep rolling in, Tim has had no choice but to continue informing the masses about this ongoing battle.

 

March 1, 2006
Live Trucker –
Kid Rock

Kid Rock is a man you can’t easily put a label on. He doesn’t fit nicely into any specific music genre, which may be why he’s been able to stay on top of the music scene since his debut album in 1998. In the beginning his sounds ranged from rock to hip hop and even a little bit of rap, but with each successive radio and album release his sound would change. While the fans of his music were always guessing what type of tune he’d put out next, they never stopped buying his music. Mr. Rock’s repertoire has expanded over the past few years to include a more classic rock sound, and even a little bit of country which was very evident in his big smash hit duet, Picture, with Sheryl Crow. His most recent release, Live Trucker, is Kid's first live album. Recorded at various Michigan locations in 2000 and 2004, Live Trucker finds the multi-platinum 'Son of Detroit' and his band lighting up homestate arenas with their genre-smashing high-octane musical brew including hit songs like Cowboy, Only God Knows Why and American Bad Ass.

JORDAN WARD illustration

 
March 1, 2006
Once A Marine, Always a Marine, or at Least Entertaining Them
Good friend of the show Mark Sweeney is a professional comedian, and a very good one at that, but that hasn't always been his career. You could call Sweeney-San a jack of all trades, considering he's served as a bus boy, construction worker, real estate agent, bartender and copier repairman. In the arena of performing, he's also been an actor, appearing on TV shows like Boston Public, Third Rock From the Sun, and Days of Our Lives. But looking through his resume, the occupation that stands out most is the four years he spent in the US Marines, or as he puts it, a full time job partying around the globe. That experience came in handy on his recent tour of Iraq where Sweenz was entertaining troops as part of the Comics on Duty World Tour.

FACTOID - Mark Sweeney is the oldest of six children, which he equates to being the emcee at a comedy club. You come out cold, have to break the ice and everyone expects you to suck
 

March 1, 2006
Vintage Comedy
Ask any artist (yes, that includes comedians) where they find their inspiration, and they'll tell you that it can come from almost anywhere. Comedian John Evans found out his muse lives in various thrift stores scattered across the country. Evans often spends an excessive amount of time wandering down aisles of discarded vintage apparel looking for more than just items to add to his snazzy wardrobe, these shopping sprees are actually a metaphor for how he develops his comedy act. Evans comes up with his material in the same way he walks through a thrift store, taking old, beaten down, uninspired topics and turning them into his own premium jokes. For example, the last time John was on, he told some fantastic stories about riding public transportation and working at a satellite TV help line.

FACTOID: Tom thinks John Evans looks exactly like Count Chocula. Yikes!

 

March 1, 2006
Feel the Byrne

When you are Irish, you can make fun of the Irish. When you’re Asian, you can make fun of Asians. That’s why comedian Steve Byrne is so lucky; he’s both. Byrne is half Irish, half Asian and he lives in America so you know he’s got plenty of material to work with. And it must be good too, because he’s just released his first comedy album, Little By Little, and will be starring in his first Comedy Central Special. Steve has appeared on almost every major standup comedy outlet on television and will soon be featured on the show True Life on MTV as well as the documentary, 13 or Bust.

 

February 28, 2006
Another Book That's Better Than the Movie
Ask anyone what their favorite movie is, and a lot of times they’ll have to sit and think about it for awhile. On the other hand, ask them what the worst film ever made is, and the answer will shoot out of their mouth before you finish the question. That’s because bad movies have a way of sticking with you like the memory of a childhood friend; someone you will remember for the rest of your life but never want to see again. It’s for that very reason authors Lou Harry and Eric Furman suffered through hundreds of hours of bad films in order to write their book, In The Can: The Greatest Career Missteps, Sophomore Slumps, What-Were-They Thinking Decisions and Fire-Your Agent Moves in the History of Movies. We were going to give you a brief description of the book, but the title does a good job of that already.

 

February 28, 2006
Ripped From the Headlines
It’s time again for everyone’s favorite weekly feature, The Zany Report starring comedy legend Bob Zany. In case you’re new to the show or are unfamiliar with the concept of The Zany Report, we’ll explain how it works. Every Tuesday, Bob Zany calls in to deliver a handful of jokes based on current events and comical news stories. Though his intention is to present a report that is hilarious from top to bottom, it doesn’t always work out this way. Of course as good hosts, BOB&TOM are always kind enough to point out which of his jokes came up a little short in the laughs department. This is where you the listener come into play because Zany then invites a lucky fan to call in and fix one of his flat punch lines in a little game he calls Fix-The-Joke Baby! Sounds easy, doesn’t it? To find out more, got to bobzany.com, baby!

 

February 27, 2006
The Next Best Protection to Living in a Bubble
To many of us, the things Tom does to keep himself safe from germs and bacteria seem a bit excessive. But according to author Allison Janse, Tom’s beliefs aren’t that far off, and in fact, in most cases he’s right to be paranoid. Germs are everywhere. In the new book The Germ Freak’s Guide to Outwitting Colds and Flu, renowned microbiologist; Dr. Charles Gerba and Allison Janse give you the lowdown on how to survive in a world full of danger. You’ll learn where it’s safe to eat, what hygiene products really work, how to properly sanitize yourself and much more. If you’re a germaphobe, this book is perfect for you. And if your not one yet, just read a couple of pages and you’ll come to your senses in a hurry.

 

 

 

 

 


"I have such a fear of commitment, I don't even like to write in pen."
- Michael Somerville

"We kick ass in the Cango."
- Bob Kevoian after comedian Guy Torry noticed that The BOB&TOM Show is everywhere

"Girls could lower gas prices if they wanted to. They just have to start sleeping with people who ride the bus."
- Chris Porter on how women rule the world

"I was the only Korean guy around growing up. My house was considered 'China Town'"
- Steve Byrne

"I think a Prepper is one step below a fluffer."
- John Evans on Tom's High School's nickname

"Nothing upsets Tom more than the fact that his ass is attached to his body."
- Chick McGee on Tom's obsession with 'ass matter'

"If I'm even in the hospital, I'm going to be in a bubble with an armed guard."
- Tom Griswold

"Sheep are the animal equivalent of Tom Griswold. They just wander around, not paying attention to anything."
- Chick McGee

"A lot of white women get nervous when a black man talks to them because they think it means they're getting fat."
- Ruben Paul on the dating scene.

"If you're not paranoid, it just means that you're not well informed."
- Tom Griswold

"I don't care about wax museums, I want to see a Brazilian Wax Museum."
- Bob Kevoian

"The happiest day in my life was when I learned the phrase 'how much is it gonna take to make this go away.'"
- Chick McGee on the ability to bribe people

"You were good on Rodney's show playing yourselves. I wasn't uncomfortable watching it."
- Bob Zany on BOB&TOM's guest appearance on Rodney

"After seeing childbirth, I was afraid the next time I had sex it was going to be like throwing a hot dog down a hallway."
- Tommy Blaze

"I like making love with my husband because it's the only time I get control of the remote."
- Etta May

"Somebody got me a robe for a gift. Now I'm hoping I catch a cold so that I can use it."
- Jim Gaffigan

"This show is for people who don't have parents that fight."
- Chick McGee on The BOB&TOM Show

"I'm a happy guy, and I'm a happy drunk."
- Bob Kevoian

"You bring your little light saber and I'll bring my mouth."
-Mr. Sound FX-II challenging Greg Morton to a sound off.

"I would give my right arm to be ambidextrous."
- Geechy Guy

"If you're getting juice from the Lap Juicer, you may want to ask the woman to wear a hair net."
- Tom Griswold on strippers using the Lap Juicer

"That lady's call was so hot. She's what I call a MILG; a mother I'd like to grope."
- "Leland from the Collection Connection" on the mom who saved all her son's comic books.

"If there's a rock n' roll hell, Michael Bolton is leading the band."
- Tom Griswold

"I get colds a lot. I don't know if it's from the microphones, airplanes or whores."
- Sean Morey on being a traveling stand up comedian

"As a man in my 40'ss, I am comfortable with no sex and loneliness because I was married for 15 years."
- Dwight Slade

"I want a T-Shirt that says 'I smell bait,' and I'm not leaving here until I get it."
- Chick McGee after hearing Bob's comment about the female condom with hooks in it.

"My mother is Jesus' #1 fan. I'm surprised she doesn't show up to church in a jersey and face paint."
- Danny Bevins

"Porksword283 is a lot to type in when you just want to play solitaire, man."
- Donnie Baker on his computer password at work.

"If somebody sends me something and it's not in Helvetica New, I delete it. It's a morally correct font."
- Tom Griswold on his favorite font

"Maybe I am cheap. I had my identity stolen and my credit rating actually went up."
- Rob Haney

"When people used to ask me what my favorite beer was, I used to say 'I don't know, the fifth one?'"
- Pat Dixon on being a reformed heavy drinker.

"My son Jay is a cut-up. He told me he got a tattoo on his butt that said, 'take on the bidet."
- Dr. Phil on Tattoos

"The only way you could have ruined the wedding is if you were the groom."
- Tom Griswold on Auggie Smith attending his ex-girlfriend's wedding

"If he can lift a car, he should have testicles the size of beach balls."
- Chick McGee on the size of Superman's bulge.'

"I wish I could go back in time and give somebody a condom."
- Tom Griswold on Chick being born

"Wedding vows sound like talking to a lawyer because they're warming you up for later."
- Kristi Lee on marriage

"I'm the self appointed head of the Pork Council."
- Donnie Baker on the holding public office at an early age

"What's the big deal about the guy who could pull a truck with his penis? When I was sixteen, I could have pushed it."
- From a B&T listener e-mail

"It's the size of the shoe, not the amount of shoes, that really matters."
- Real Men of Genius to Chick McGee during a RMoG song about the B&T Show

"You are the smartest smart person I've ever known."
- Chick McGee to Tom after Tom won another argument about the NFL overtime procedure

"There's nothing worse than barfing on make-a-wish kids."
- Bob Kevoian as a tribute to Tom Wilson of 'Back to the Future' fame

"There is such a fine line between comedy and blasphemy."
- "The Pope"