THE BOB & TOM SHOW - Program Notes

w w w . b o b a n d t o m . c o m

March 10 - 14, 2008

He Can Do Magic
Whether he’s doing his act in front of thousands of people in a theater, or in the basement of total strangers, Todd Paul loves to perform. Beginning his entertainment career as a street juggler at the age of 13, then taking a quick pit stop to become a bartender, Paul eventually matured into the successful touring stand-up comedian/magician he is today. Using jokes, magic, unicycles, music, chainsaws and anything else he can get his hands on, Paul has entertained folks in all types of venues all over the world.

Just Your Average Joe, er, Phil
Phil Palisoul appears to be an average, everyday guy, and though looks can sometimes be deceiving, in this case they’re not. Palisoul lived in your typical suburban neighborhood, grew up with a ‘normal’ family and has a good sense of humor. Really, the only thing that separates him from you is that he’s turned this average existence into a successful comedy career. Phil started his life in comedy back in Denver, but soon made his way to Hollywood where he began making TV appearances on The Tonight Show, Premium Blend, and NBC Friday Night!, just to name a few. But if you haven’t seen him on television, don’t worry, he tours too. And chances are he’ll be performing in a club near you sometime soon.

You Can Call Him "Kid"
Kid Dave Miller is a grown-up entertainer who enjoys performing grown-up humor for other grown-ups, and while he’s not necessarily dirty, he is sarcastic, real, and to the point. But Dave is also a gut who takes his craft very seriously, in fact, many people call him a comedy purist. If you come see Dave perform, you’re not going to see any puppets, magic, props or other “novelties.” Instead you’ll get one man, one microphone and a night full of jokes.

The Devil You Know
At last, fans of singer/songwriter Todd Snider can rejoice because the guy who brought us Beer Run, the song that changed a generation (or at least a considerable number of people), has finally released the companion DVD to his most recent album, The Devil You Know. The DVD contains previously unreleased live performances, music videos and the short film Come to East Nashville. Make sure to catch Snider when he makes his long awaited return to the Friggemall Building because you never know when he might bust out his next mega-hit like Beer Run, Iron Mike, Statistician's Blues or Vinyl Records.

The Better Half
When John Heffron's parents found out that he'd been skipping night school classes in order to pursue his dream of performing stand-up comedy, they weren’t thrilled. But how were they supposed to know that one day this truant teen would climb the ranks of the comedy world and eventually win the second season of NBC's Last Comic Standing. With a fresh, youthful appearance and the outlook of a man trying to figure out life as a grown up, Heffron is one of comedy's rising talents. Before he became a reality TV star, John's other television credits included appearances on The Tonight Show , Premium Blend and NBC's Friday Night. Currently, along with touring, John is also hosting his own radio show on his website called, My Radio Show.

A Decade of Jared
Ten years ago, a 425-pound Jared Fogel walked into a Subway restaurant and picked up a nutritional brochure, not knowing it would change his life forever. One year and 245 pounds later, Jared was not only a new man, he (and his big pants) had become an inspiration to millions. His method of losing the weight was simple; he’d eat two subs a day and start incorporating exercise into his daily routine. His compelling story fit perfectly with Subway’ new healthy marketing, which is why he soon became the company’s number one spokesman. Along with countless commercials, Jared has been featured on Larry King Live, 48 Hours, Oprah and The Washington Post just to name a few. Today, Jared is celebrating his 10 year anniversary with his “Tour de Pants,” a chance for him to raise money and awareness for childhood obesity.

Richard Courtney's Incredible Story
In his book entitled Normandy To The Bulge: An American Infantry Gi In Europe During World War II, Richard Courtney gives a day-by-day account of what he experienced in combat as part of the 104th Infantry Regiment of the 26th Infantry Division as it fought from Normandy to the Battle of the Bulge to the end of the war in Czechoslovakia. Using his diary, letters, newspaper accounts, and photographs, Courtney shares his own thoughts and those of his fellow soldiers as the horror of war descended on the snows of the Ardennes, where the antitank platoon dug in at a crossroads in Luxembourg. Crossing Germany he observed the German people in defeat. He was among the troops that liberated refugees and prisoners as they opened concentration camps. In May 1945, Private Courtney and two other soldiers accepted the surrender of the 11th Panzer Division on a dusty road at Ebenau, Czechoslovakia. Normandy To The Bulge is a memorable and unique, front-line soldier's contribution to World War II European theatre reading lists.

Big Laughs
When it comes to comedians, Jim McCue is head and shoulders above the rest. This is mostly due to his freakish six foot six frame, but even in the joke department he ranks pretty high. Jim McCue has been featured on Comedy Central and Comcast Comedy Spotlight, and is versatile enough to worked any kind of venue including clubs, colleges corporate gigs and even for the troops in Iraq. Outside of stand-up, Jim is an actor, he’s the founder of The Boston Comedy and Movie Festival and he recently wrote a book about his time overseas, Embedded Comedian.

JORDAN WARD illustration

Costaki Talk
If the name didn't tip you off, comedian Costaki Economopoulos comes from a Greek background, which is why it's not surprising he's been described as a “joke philosopher.” And we're positive he's not the only one saying that. Known for his clever writing, Costaki's punch lines have been heard on The Tonight Show, BET, and MTV. In other news, he's released his first comedy CD, C'mon It's Jokes, and is dating the beautiful and funny comedienne, Caroline Rhea.

You'll Hear Words to Remember...
Each and every Wednesday, we know that comedian Tim Bedore will join us for another edition of Vague But True, but what we don't know is what his next installment will be about. Sometimes the topics come from his own life experiences like when he discussed his daughter's relationship with their dog and his lonely trip down a gay nude beach, but mostly these musings are comprised of Tim's fantasies. No matter the subject, we're happy he'll be reporting it from his home up north, where the introverts stare at their shoes and the extroverts stare at your shoes.

In Other Words
Comedienne Kathleen Madigan has starred in her own HBO and Comedy Central standup specials, developed television pilots, reported for ESPN2, has appeared on the Tonight Show over ten times, won the American Comedy Award for “Best Female Club Comic,” and has filled in for Kristi Lee at the B&T news desk. With all these credentials, we were as surprised as anyone when she didn't win Last Comic Standing on the hit NBC reality show. However, she was no only asked to come back for the third season, she was also hired on as a judge in the fourth season. But, if you didn't catch her on any of those shows, you can still order her hilarious DVD, In Other Words, available now.

Putting Pop Culture on Trial
He's indignant, he's exasperated, he's "America's foremost commentator on everything," he's comedian Lewis Black and he's the host of Comedy Central's new talk show, The Root of All Evil. But Black is no stranger to Comedy Central viewers, his satirical, comedic commentary on the perils of everyday life, Back in Black, is one of the most popular segments on The Daily Show With Jon Stewart. Born and raised on the East Coast, Black attended Yale where he began a career as an actor and a playwright. He soon found himself on tour, working in theaters across the country. This would in turn lead him into standup comedy, where now he is one of the most sought after headliners working today. Black is also a regular on Late Night with Conan O'Brien and has been featured in a number of movies, TV shows and Broadway.

JORDAN WARD illustration

FACTOID - Lewis Black has authored over 40 plays that have been produced in theaters across the country, including "Czar of Rock and Roll" and "The Deal."

Something Mental
There are three things that comedian Tommy Tiernan is very familiar with, drinking, making people laugh, and winning awards. We know he’s can drink because he’s Irish. We have proof that he can make people laugh thanks to his track record of bestselling DVDs and streak of 150 shows in Dublin’s huge Vicar Street Theatre. And when it comes to awards, he’s got a mantel full of them including the So You Think You’re Funny, British Comedy, Best of the Fest and Funniest Living Irish Person awards. And though he’s been a legend overseas for a number of years, he’s just now beginning to take over America. He’s recently been seen on Late Night with David Letterman, filmed his first Comedy Central Special, Something Mental, and is touring all over the country.

JORDAN WARD illustration

The Zany Report
Legendary comedian Bob Zany is set to deliver his eagerly anticipated Zany Report once again and we can barely contain our excitement. Having had a week to prepare, Bob is once again ready to present what he thinks is top-notch material in hopes of creating the biggest, funniest, most spectacular Zany Report of all time. However, if for some reason you aren’t exhausted from laughing when it’s all said and done, Bob's still got BobZany.com to fall back on. It's there that you can test your hand at punch line writing by playing Fix The Joke Baby, and while you're at it, why not pick up one of those "Eat Salmon the Other Pink Meat" T-shirts?

JORDAN WARD illustration

Little Mr. Sunshine
Doing stand-up comedy since 1987, mostly because he’s funny and hates having a boss, Nick Griffin has fine-tuned his act to become one of the most well rounded, if not most depressed, comics today. His comical observations cover just about everything (including fashion, love and Einstein), so as long as you are interested in something, Nick will have you rolling in the aisles in no time. Griffin has been featured on Comedy Central's Premium Blend and The Late Show with Craig Kilborn, The BOB&TOM Comedy All-Stars Tour and has also written for The Keenan Ivory Wayans Show. He may be dark, cynical, sound depressed and have a real problem getting along with women, but Griffin is still a must see if he performs in a club near you.

JORDAN WARD illustration

Look, It's Frank Caliendo
He started his TV career as a co-star of FOX's sketch comedy show MAD TV but, Frank Caliendo has since become America's go-to guy when it comes to impressions. That's because no cultural icon is safe from Frank's mimicking ways. He can do dead on impressions of a number of celebrities including John Madden (gushing over now retired Brett Favre), Charles Barkley, President Bush, Robert DeNiro, Dr. Phil, Robin Williams and the entire cast of Seinfeld. These days, Frank can be seen on his popular late night program Frank TV on TBS, during football broadcasts on FOX (including this year's Super Bowl), as a frequent guest on Late Night with David Letterman, and most recently as the pitch man (or men) for Dish Network.

JORDAN WARD illustration

Comedy For All Ages
If an event of any importance has happened in the past, chances are comedian Scott Dunn can write a joke about it. Well, not just a joke, an entire routine to be exact. How can we make such a bold statement? We have the proof. Scott has spent the past year calling in to the show every Monday to give us a little history lesson, with a twist. These lessons aren’t boring and stuffy like when your grandpa rambles on about his youth. No, these tales from times past are chock-full of jokes, laughs and even a few actual historical tidbits you might be able to use in a trivia game down the road.

March 3 - 7
Program Notes

"Why can't I have a pool?"
- Todd Snider wondering why now beer companies have paid him to use "Beer Run"

"I thought my marriage was going to be over before we got our wedding pictures back."
- John Heffron

"These guys are actually pretty good people, despite my apathy."
- Chick McGee trying to sound interested while reading a live commercial

"I don't color my hair for the same reason I don't dance, I don't want to feel queer."
- Nick Griffin

"I was on the Quotes Page once... back in 1995 I think."
- Frank Caliendo

"Frank wants to be on the Quotes Page. Yeah, that's what he needs, more exposure."
- Nick Griffin

"So far the BOM&TOM sports desk is 0-2 in solo shows."
- Gunner on his and Chick's solo morning show careers

"I'm not racist, I just find diversity dangerous."
- Daniel Tosh

"Have you guys ever got to the point in your life where you know you've met enough people."
- Greg Warren

"These primaries are like an expensive high school election."
- Bob Kevoian

"One guy doing something weird is a nut, a group of people doing something weird is a church."
- Bengt Washburn on growing up Mormon

"If we were going to be eating Jesus' body, I wanted dark meat."
- Steve Poltz on his confusion during his First Communion

"Get off the treadmill and go to the bar."
- Kristi Lee on how she doesn't like that her gym is becoming a pick-up joint

"Those strip mall karate places only teach you enough to get your ass whupped"
- Paul Thorn

"I scissor-kicked a circus bear to help raise over $200 to raise awareness for animal cruelty."
- Donnie Baker on bear wrestling

"I'm not available... when is it?
- Tom Griswold when asked to attend the Ferret Festival with Chick

"Everything I touch turns to sold."
- Kenny Tarmac

"You can talk about me in the tabloids all you want, but those come out every week and are forgotten. Songs like this, they stick around a lot longer."
- Kid Rock on his new song "So Hott" and how song writers get revenge

"The only professions where people prefer someone with little experience are politics and prostitution."
- Scott Dunn

"As a liberal, it pains me to say this, but when is America finally going to wake up and realize that tigers hate gay people."
- Auggie Smith on the recent tiger attacks and Siegfried and Roy.

"In Asia, the name Ty(rone) means 'creativity.' In America it means 'not hiring.'"
- Ty Barnett

"Why would I lie to you, we're not married?"
- Ross Bennett to Bob Kevoian

"My biggest fear about voting is getting trapped in the booth."
- Jamie Lissow

"This is like a think-tank of nothing."
- Tammy Pescatelli on The BOB&TOM Show

"Are we on the air or are these practice shows we're doing?"
- Chick McGee

"I've come across a fecal monument or two."
- Tom Griswold on the stains on shopping carts

"Kristi Lee Love You Long Time."
- Possible slogan for Kristi Lee in 2008

"Never play flag football in the nude."
- Bob Kevoian

"Whore's gotta eat too."
- Kristi Lee after hearing the story of the prostitute at Thanksgiving dinner

"I'm the boy in the bubble without the bubble."
- Jimmy Pardo on his multiple allergies

"Instruction manuals are nothing more than another man's opinion."
- Chick McGee

"Kids to me are like ghosts. I'm not afraid of them, but I don't want to move into a building that has them."
- Auggie Smith

"My ex-wife told me she wanted a divorce because she'd lost the tingle. I don't know what a tingle is, but it's equivalent to one house."
- Emo Philips

"If you start with it in there, it's okay."
- Bob Kevoian explaining how a thong is different than a wedgies

"I have a gorgeous taint."
- Chick McGee

"Her favorite recording artist is Tomas Edison."
- Bob Kevoian to Granny during the Shoe-In of the Week.

"I'm not going to get an operation on my johnson just because some e-mail keeps suggesting it. But my wife just keeps sending it."
- Nathan Trenholm

"Every project my dad worked on started with 'I can do it' and ended with 'nobody's gonna see that'."
- Andres Fernandez

"How low have you sank when you are going to Greg Hahn for relationship advice."
- Orny Adams to Kristi Lee

"Didn't we leave Tuna Town and move to cookoo-ville?"
- Tom Griswold on Anne Heche

"Now on sale we've got the OJ Simpson 'Find the Real Killer' Mirror. Is it magic or just common sense."
- Billy Mayzing with a new crop of amazing products

"When I'm 80 years old, just sign me up for a nice bowl movement."
-Tom Griswold on Hef and getting older

"My dog will talk your ear off if you let him."
- Dan Grueter on giving his dog a redneck voice

"They show too many commercials at the movies. That's the biggest crime in the world."
- Bob Kevoian

"The only difference between southern sodomy and prison rape is their taste in music."
- Tom Griswold

"I bet gay guys have sex all the time because there aren't any women to tell them no."
- Larry Reeb

"My to-do list consists of women's names and drugs."
- Shane Mauss

"Joe Theismann won't be here for another four hours so you may want to hold off on taking that Viagra."
- Tom Griswold to Chick McGee

"Ladies, if you don't want to date a drunk, don't go shopping at the drunk store."
- Shane Mauss on women picking up men in bars

"If I stopped drinking scotch, Johnny Walker would have to get rid of one of their trucks."
- Ron White

"Are you at all self sufficient?"
- Tom Griswold to Ron White

"I played basketball in highschool and they used to call me the mailman. Not because I was good, but because I used to shoot up the locker room after a bad loss."
- Rob Haney

"I like the WNBA. There is nothing like a two-hour layup drill."
- John Evans