Jokes
Audio clips
Events link Archives link Frequently asked questions link

w w w . b o b a n d t o m . c o m           

March 29 - April 2 2004

 

April 2, 2004
The Wild World
of Fred Klett

Fred Klett is not only one of the most creative (yet very clean) comics working today, he’s also an extremely calm, serious, and scary looking person. We can't explain his frightening appearance, but we believe his serious nature is due to his constant pondering of animals and their place in the world. Two of our favorite Fred Klett pieces have to do with our friends in the animal kingdom... one dealing with Fred's feelings on the popular method for escaping bear attacks, the other focusing on the wonderful world of zoo living and those folks who oppose it. But don't just take our word for it, listen for yourself with these two free audio clips.

FACTOID - Fred Klett is one of 10 children

 

April 2, 2004
The Professor of Love
Milo Tremley is the self-proclaimed "dean of human relations," and attempts to use his comedy as a tool for teaching young couples in love. Though he does his work with good intentions, he has a knack for coming up with new ways to ruin perfectly normal, and otherwise happy marriages. Tremley's message of love is taught though his laugh out loud comedy mixed with his tongue-in-cheek music, most of which is featured on his album Professor Milo. His songs include such ballads as Go Ugly Early, If Your Heart's As Big As Your Butt Is and The Vomit Song, making his albums one of the most sought after comedy CD’s among recent divorcees and bitter ex-lovers everywhere.

 

April 2, 2004
Life With Louie
If you haven’t seen Louie Anderson before, you haven’t been looking hard enough. Anderson has not only been a popular comedian for years, he’s also been the star of his own Saturday morning cartoon Life with Louie (which won two Emmys) and was the host of the game show, Family Feud. By sharing his unusual upbringing in a large family from Minnesota and flashing his recognizable gapped tooth smile, Louie charmed audiences all across America. He’s a Tonight Show veteran (with both Jay and Johnny), author of a series of very successful self-help books, and hosts the late night standup show Comic Relief. Louie just finished his newest book, The F Word, How to Survive Your Family, which means he's now got time to head back out on the road and do what he does best, tell jokes.

 

April 1, 2004
She's Done It All
Though Julie Scoggins is relatively new to the standup comedy scene, she's done plenty in her life before that to keep busy (and give her a lifetime of material to work with). She's been a cab driver, lived on a boat, camped across the country, drove a truck, sold everything and moved to the Virgin Islands, and worked as pole climber for the cable company. Kind of makes you and your single job seem a little boring now, doesn't it. It was Julie's husband who convinced her that she needed to go the standup comedy route after sitting through weeks and weeks of horrible open mic night performers. And now you know the rest of the story. Though her style and confidence has improved greatly from her first time on stage, Scoggins says you can still find a few of the jokes from her stage debut in her act.

 

April 1, 2004
Bring Him Your Torch, The Tribe Has Spoken
After a week off to air the annual "catch up clip episode," CBS' smash hit reality show Survivor: All-Stars is back with a new installment and will once again be airing on its regular night. The season is approaching the midway point which in the past has meant it was time for a tribal merge. But this is All-Stars, and nothing can be taken for granted. The previews have hinted at one of those pesky Survivor surprise twists, but it looks as though we'll all just have to wait and see what it might be. That is, unless we can get host Jeff Probst to spill the beans and let us in on the secret. We'll this new twist effect Boston Rob & Amber's budding romance, or Lex's newfound role as the leader of his tribe? No matter what it is (and as long as it doesn't hurt our good buddy Rupert), it should be fun to watch. Survivor All-Stars airs Thursday night on CBS.

Side Note - If you haven't seen it yet, you should pick up a copy of Jeff Probst's feature film Finder's Fee, which Tom gave a big thumbs up.

 

April 1, 2004
Economopoulos is
Greek For Funny
Comedian Costaki Economopoulos' humor has been described as smart, pointed, hip, sharp, insightful, socially relevant, and gut-laugh funny and he’s been described as a “casually brilliant joke philosopher.” Just look at his business card, it's all right there. Aside from standup comedy, Costaki is still looking for a full time staff writing position on a sitcom... so if anybody “knows a guy,” make sure to give him a call. But until that day comes, the comedian with the biggest name in comedy is keeping busy with other projects. But always keep keep an eye out for Costaki during the credits of your favorite show. It would be hard to miss.

 

April 1, 2004
Goal Oriented Comedy
After receiving an honorable discharge from the army, dropping out of college, and deciding that a "real job" wasn't the life for him, Danny Bevins chose standup comedy as a career. To him, this was not just something to do to make ends meet. No, Danny was taking the stage with a purpose. His goal was and still is to leave each and every audience emotionally and physically exhausted by the end of his show. He does this by using his cynical world views and childhood tales to laugh them into submission. However, if his comedy isn't working, he's always got a backup plan in place. He'll make them watch Old Yeller then run three miles. Either way, it's always mission accomplished.

FACTOID - At one time, Danny worked as an airline flight attendant

 

March 31, 2004
Switch to Beer,
Pat Godwin's Here

Not only is comedian Pat Godwin a fantastic songwriter and excellent guitarist with the uncanny ability to mimic the voice and style of almost any other artist you can name, he's also a favorite of the show. He's littered the past two BOB&TOM albums with multiple music tracks including the now classic tunes Nobody Speaks English Anymore, The Legend of John Fox and C'est La Vie. However, even if you hear him perform one of these songs you know by heart, it's always a new experience because Pat rarely sings a song the same way twice. So pour a bowl of Lucky Charms and get your keg of Guinness ready as Pat Godwin helps us kick off the morning right.

 

March 31, 2004
Auggie's Back with Six-Shooters a Blazin'
The ranting, raving, gun fighting comedian from Montana, Auggie Smith is finally on his way back to the studio... presumably by horse. Since his first visit, Auggie has become the most talked about guest of the year and his comedy pieces on drinking, Bed Bath & Beyond, and leading a religious cult have remained in among the most requested. Having worked in the business for over 12-years, Smith has lovingly earned a reputation as "the rant master" due to his enthusiastic, rapid-fire, seamless stream of manic blasts taking on pop culture, idiotic people, and other items that just plain irritate him. "The Word of Aug" often slips over into the dark side of political incorrectness but it's all good… as long as his audiences keeps laughing. It sure worked on us . which is why his arrival is so highly anticipated. No pressure Auggie.

FACTOID - When Auggie Smith was invited to perform at the Montreal Comedy Festival, the organizers were so impressed they included him in 3 different showcases: New Faces, Dangerzone, And the Nasty Show.

 

March 30, 2004
Straight From the Vile File
"Vile File" creator Dwight York is not just a funny comic with an unforgettable style, he's also a fantastic joke writer and a master of misdirection. York has an endless arsenal of clever one-liners ranging from the innocent “They say gambling is a sin, but I’m betting god will forgive me,” to the slightly more blue “I brought home a woman from the bar last night but ended up passing out on the couch. Must've grabbed the wrong drink.”

FACTOID - Dwight York was working with Kristi the night of her infamous strip club "pole dance" in Peoria, IL.

 

March 30, 2004
Putting the Z in Funny

Bob Zany is very excited that Tuesday's finally here, and that means it's time for a brand new edition of the
Zany Report. Though the report is usually very entertaining and extremely funny... sometimes it's not (like last week). That's why Bob archives every edition of the Zany Report on BobZany.com. Now you can play Fix-the-Joke Baby, rewrite his jokes, and show him where his punch lines took a wrong turn. While you're there, why not purchase the always-popular "Eat Salmon The Other Pink Meat," or "Papa Eat Now" shirts? They're perfect for changing oil, painting houses, and any other form of yard work.

 

 

 


"I have very soft lips, and no hair on my buttocks."
- Gunner

"I've had a laptop for a year now and I've come to realize that it's nothing more than the most expensive DVD player I've ever had."
- Fred Klett

"The Greek Orthodox church is a lot like the Catholic church only with bigger hats."
- Tom Griswold

"I told a friend of mine that I wanted to get married. He told me that was 'so gay." Times have changed."
- Costaki Economopoulos

"Is it a bad sign if lawn sprinklers are your alarm clock?"
- "Bill Clinton"

"I know there's a god because every once in awhile in my head I hear a voice say 'You're my favorite.'"
- Danny Bevins

"Starving people don't laugh."
- Auggie Smith

"I don't like you today."
- Kristi Lee to Tom

"Obviously cigarettes were declared a sin in the part of the bible that was written in the 1800's."
- Auggie Smith on the Sin Tax

"I look at your mind like a big dusty attic."
- Chick McGee on Tom's brain

"I created a new board game where you make up the rules as you go along. It's called 'Women & Relationships.'"
- Dwight York

"You have a really nice Pope. It would be a shame if something were to happen to him."
- Chick McGee on the Pope wanting to end Sunday Sports

"I took a bus tour the other day. It didn't take long to walk through that."
- Dwight York

"I could see myself going into rehab after tasting Sammy Hagar's tequila."
- Bob Kevoian

"You can't watch X-Rated stuff in High-Def because it just looks nasty."
- Mark Cuban

"I'm giving away a million dollars because I can."
- Mark Cuban

"I'm going to have an NBA kid. That's my retirement plan."
- Alonzo Bodden

"I went to Bed, Bath & Beyond... and now I know what women feel like talking to a car mechanic."
- Alonzo Bodden

"My bedroom is like a warehouse. I like to be able to see everything."
- Tom Griswold

"If you're nice to them, bearded ladies tip very well."
- Tim Bedore

"The more complex the name, the bigger the trailer."
- Tom Griswold on unique first names

"Children are Gods way of protecting you from having too much money."
- Rex Havens

"I love coming up with things for Chick to do when he's not here."
- Tom Griswold on dressing Chick up in different outfits

"People don't carry swords anymore, do they?"
- Bob Kevoian

"Note to self... don't ask Gunner any questions, or give him any compliments."
- Tom Griswold after Gunner started his 'quit smoking' story

"I noticed after I stopped smoking that my body felt great after a night out drinking. This means I can now double my alcohol intake.
- Gunner

"Are you guys laughing with me, or at me?"
- Dan Kaufman after the debut of his song 'Fish & Paint'

"If I don't get my 16 hours of sleep, I'm just not my self."
- Chick McGee

"To make sure my daughter's book is a success, I have decided not to endorse it."
- "Al Gore," on his daughter's first novel