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March 31 - April 4

April 4, 2003
Comedy For Everybody
A.J. Jamal is a refreshing comedian who delivers quality comedy that is perfect for any and everybody in a diverse, family audience. His broad appeal is evident when looking at the variety of television programs he’s appeared on including The Tonight Show, Comic Justice, In Living Color and standup specials on HBO and Showtime. Jamal is a highly sought after comedian, who boasts over 500 campus shows, and stops in theaters, casinos and comedy clubs all over the country.
A.J. is also Prsident of Animarso, which produces animation and marketing media. Check out their website!

 
April 3, 2003
Tammy Pescatelli: Sitting In for Kristi Lee Thursday & Friday!
Since Kristi Lee is taking a well deserved vacation, Bob & Tom have spun the wheel of possible guest news reporters and lucky for everyone it stopped on comedienne Tammy Pescatelli. Tammy is an accomplished standup who’s considered to be one of the hardest working women in comedy. Not only has she performed with almost every top name in comedy today, she used to live next door to a midget porn star, calls her breasts Titoni’s, and has an alter ego named Dr. Dago.

SIDE NOTE - Pescatelli is a Sicilian name, so Chick had better stay on her good side this time around because we wouldn't want her "family" to get involved in any more disputes between the two.
 
April 3, 2003
It's a Sick World and Larry Reeb is a Happy Guy!
Larry Reeb is the guy you try your hardest to keep the kids away from at the family reunions. You know the one... wondering around the party, dispensing unsolicited, yet thought provoking advice to anyone and everyone that will listen. It doesn't matter the topic. You could be discussing the joys of raising children, nipple piercing, your last adulterous affair or even football... Uncle Lar's got tips on everything. "It's a sick world, and I'm a happy guy," says Reeb. "If this were a perfect world, I'd be unemployed."
 

April 3, 2003
Frank Caliendo
Frank Caliendo is one of the most impressive impressionist working today. What makes him such a coveted talent is that the range of characters he can imitate is so vast. Few if any comedians can match Caliendo's versatility when it comes to performing as John Madden, Ted Knight, Adam Sandler, Robin Williams, Al Pacino, Jim Rome and many more. He can pull these voices out in an instant and will often have the different characters involved in entire conversations with one other. He seamlessly flows from one voice to he next, and all of his impressions are dead on accurate. Just listening on the radio, you'd swear the room was full of celebrities, but in fact, it's just Frank Caliendo, and his split personalities. Caliendo can be seen showing off his talents each week on the sketch comedy show MAD TV, and he regularly appears on the FOX NFL Pregame Show, FOX Sports Network, and Jimmy Kimmel Live.

 

April 2, 2003
Searching for Stars
The new season of Star Search is back on CBS, and it’s bigger than ever. All the new categories returning, plus, the long awaited conclusion of last season's interrupted final will take place. Celebrity judges Ben Stein, Naomi Judd and the very excitable Ahmet Zappa are also back for another season of star searching. Zappa is the son of legendary rock legend, Frank Zappa, but he’s also a very successful musician and actor. He’s been a few feature films, and has been a big part of MTV programming over the years. You can now see this excitable, baldheaded Star Search celebrity judge every Wednesday and Friday on CBS.

FACTOID - Ahmet Zappa is the voice of Lexus cars.

April 1, 2003
He Travels So You Don't Have To

Michael Palin, famous for his work in Monty Python’s Flying Circus, is making his way around the world, one documentary at a time. The comedy legend is crossing the baron Sahara Dessert in a four part series for the Bravo network. This is his fifth expedition in the Michael Palin’s Travels series, and he’s lucky to have made it this far. He’s crossed the globe from Pole to Pole, and visited the countries of the Pacific, suffering Delhi Belly, Saigon Stomach, Camel Poisoning, cracked ribs, near drowning and rifle fire along the way. After all that, the Sahara should be a walk in the park. Michael Palin’s Travels: Sahara airs Sundays on Bravo, beginning April 8. Palin has also released a book chronicling his travels, Sahara, which is available everywhere.

FACTOID – In 2002, Michael Palin received a Lifetime Achievement Award at the British Comedy Awards.
 

April 1, 2003
April Fool
It's April Fools Day, and as prank on comedian Bob Zany, Bob & Tom have decided to laugh hysterically at every one of the jokes in this week's Zany Report. Will Zany be able to figure out that his new found success is nothing more than a clever ruse, or will it take the real laughs enjoyed by our Fix The Joke Baby (live) contestant to convince him? Either way, it's bound to be a good time. Plus, some lucky fan will walk away with a boatload of prizes including a one year BOB&TOM VIP membership, a couple of ultra cool T-shirts and a copy Zany's highly sought after CD I Just Can't Win Baby.

 

April 1, 2003
And Then There Were Four
We're down to the Final Four of this years NCAA Men's Basketball tournament, and with three of the top seeds getting knocked off in the same weekend, people everywhere are throwing in the towels on their office pools. Heavy favorites Kentucky and Arizona were both upset and are now gone from competition, which means the race to the championship is wide open. Kansas, Syracuse, Texas or Marquette, who will take the crown? Dick Vitale is back with his weekly report to tell us how this wacky weekend unfolded, and give us his predictions as to which team will be cutting down the nets as National Champions.

 
Pat Stoner, who is running for re-election as a South Milwaukee alderman, has been noticing his signs disappearing from neighborhood lawns. Read the article! special thanks to Jim Stingl and The Milwaukee Journal Sentinel
 
March 31, 2003
Hall Of Fame Catcher
Johnny Bench
Elected to the Baseball Hall of Fame in 1989, Johnny Bench is undoubtedly one of the greatest catchers ever to play the game. His successes include National League Rookie of the Year (1968), National League MVP (1970 & 1972), World Series MVP (1976), 14-time All-star, and ten time Golden Glove award winner. In 1980, Bench set an endurance record by catching in over 100 games for 13 consecutive seasons. In 1999, Johnny received the esteemed honor of selection to the All-Century Baseball Team. No longer behind the plate, Bench spends most of his time playing in golf tournaments all over the country, some of them alongside Bob Kevoian. The two will be playing together in the upcoming Johnny Bench Turnberry Celebrity Invitational.
 

 



"In Saddam's newest video, he's being shot by Jack Ruby... so I don't know how old it is."
- Bill Scheft

"It took me one brain cell to get to where I am today."
- Bob Kevoian on winning the NCAA office pool

"Pets are better than kids because they don't steal your car, drink your booze, and if you accidentally kill one, nobody cares."
- Larry Reeb

"If you think no one cares that you are alive, try missing a couple of car payments."
- "Larry King"

"Cats don't like sports because they're a bunch of pussies."
- Larry Reeb

"What most relationships need are better slogans."
- Tom Griswold on Dr. Phil's philosophies

"Why don't we train members of PETA to detect land mines instead of the dolphins if they have such a problem with it."
- Bob Kevoian

"Sometimes you just need something in your ass."
- Chick McGee

"If the world has a few thousand less pigeons in it, it would be a better place."
- Tom Griswold

"Is it too early in the show to get up and walk out?"
- Bob Kevoian

"Emmit Smith just signed with the Arizona Cardinals. He said he wanted to continue playing Pro Football, but this will have to do for now."
- "Larry King"

"Forbidden fruit is always in season."
- Robert Schimmel

"Courtside seats do not make you a coach."
- Kristi Lee on Calvin Klein's NBA courtside antics

"Sometimes I feel about as welcome as the Dixie Chicks at the White House."
- Bob Zany

"Remember, if you have caffeine, Jesus will cry."
- Chick McGee on Kristi's giving up caffeine for Lent

"You are the spermanator, Tom. You impregnate everyone who comes by. Watch where you are waving that thing."
- Bob Kevoian

"Pilates is Latin for 'crushing walnuts with you knees'."
- Chick McGee

"When the kids go to bed, it's Fraternity time."
- Gunner

"Is the dildo for Cancer's shaped like a cigarette?"
- Gunner on Astrological specific dildos