We've Dunn This Before
Though it may seem like we just heard from him on Monday (because we did) comedian Scott Dunn will be joining us again on Friday, only this time, it'll be live in the studio. For those of you who aren't familiar with Scott, he's a stand-up comedian, an author, a father of two, a husband of one, and is also a history buff. This the past year, Scott's been using his knowledge of the past to develop a regular feature on the show in which his "Roasts" major events throughout history, and then gives us a little pop-quiz when he's done. So make sure you've got a No. 2 pencil handy.

Comedy Club House
When Mark Morfey made it as a PGA Golf Professional, you might have thought he had it all, but then, you would have been wrong. While golfing was one of his passions, he was still missing the thrill that only telling jokes in front of a live audience could provide. That left him with only one choice, become a standup comedian. Now Mark is both a Golf Pro and a standup comic, and loves his two professions equally (unless one starts paying better, then he has no problem picking a favorite). The way he describes it, both jobs are really about the same. They each require good rhythm and timing, and neither involve random drug testing.

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Sounds Funny
Pablo Francisco's popularity comes from his energetic stage presence and ability to act out his comedy and paint vivid imagery with voices, sound effects, and story telling. And some of his bits, including his spoof of Arnold Schwarzenegger as a tortilla vendor and his knock off of Spanish soap operas have become international sensations. Inspired as a kid by the likes of Letterman and Carson, Francisco now finds himself on the shows he admired as a kid. He's appeared on the Tonight Show, The Late Show, Family Guy, Comedy Central, Showtime and Mad TV.

Working Hard
Though Billy Gardell wanted to get to Hollywood, he knew he was going to have to take the long road to get there.  With no GQ genetics, no family connections and no insiders to latch on to, Gardell instead used good old fashioned hard work to get to LA.  Gardell chose stand-up comedy as his path to stardom, and it didn’t take long for him to become a headliner.  Then, upon arriving in LA, he found out that even though he’d become a popular comedian, he was going to have to start at the bottom again if he wanted to make it as an actor.  Once again, Gardell started climbing the ladder and eventually landed guest appearances on hit TV shows like Monk, My Name is Earl, Judging Amy and The Practice.  Speaking of TV, Billy is set to achieve another one of his goals, starring in his first, very own Comedy Central special, which airs Friday, April 4th at 10:30 PM.

Sound It Out
Of all the guests we regularly have on the show, comedian Costaki Economopoulos possesses the longest and most difficult name to spell, by far. And while we can't stand having to type it out each week, we do look forward to his calls. In his Economonologues (another word we dread) he gets the chance to cover any and everything that has popped into his head in the past seven days. These topics have included strange superstitions, odd phobias and the origin of common clichés. Costaki's able to take the things he sees and hears in everyday life and turn turn them into comedic observations you won't be able to believe you haven't thought of before, and will never be able to forget.

The Vague But True Tales of Tim Bedore
It's been a long seven days since we last visited with comedian Tim Bedore, which is why we're so eager to have him back on his special line, ready to deliver another exciting edition of Vague But True. Live from his home in Minnesota where he's seated comfortably at mission control, Tim shares his thoughts on life, society, politics and his day to day activities, presented in the form of in-depth, entertaining editorials. Over the past few years, these musings have helped us learn a lot about Bedore, including his ability to answer "Dear Abby" letters, his dream of playing baseball for the Cubs and his theory on how animals are trying to wipe out our species.

Frank TV Returns to TBS
He started his TV career as a co-star of FOX's sketch comedy show MAD TV but, Frank Caliendo has since become America's go-to guy when it comes to impressions. That's because no cultural icon is safe from Frank's mimicking ways. He can do dead on impressions of a number of celebrities including John Madden (gushing over now retired Brett Favre), Charles Barkley, President Bush, Robert DeNiro, Dr. Phil, Robin Williams and the entire cast of Seinfeld. These days, Frank can be seen on his popular late night program Frank TV on TBS, during football broadcasts on FOX (including this year's Super Bowl), as a frequent guest on Late Night with David Letterman, and most recently as the pitch man (or men) for Dish Network. And in case you might have missed Frank TV the first time around, the first five episodes of the show will be playing on TBS all April long. Catch Frank TV Tuesday nights at 11pm on TBS.

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The Zany Report
Legendary comedian Bob Zany is set to deliver his eagerly anticipated Zany Report once again and we can barely contain our excitement. Having had a week to prepare, Bob is once again ready to present what he thinks is top-notch material in hopes of creating the biggest, funniest, most spectacular Zany Report of all time. However, if for some reason you aren’t exhausted from laughing when it’s all said and done, Bob's still got BobZany.com to fall back on. It's there that you can test your hand at punch line writing by playing Fix The Joke Baby, and while you're at it, why not pick up one of those "Eat Salmon the Other Pink Meat" T-shirts?

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Life and Baseball
Known as the “Iron Man” back in his playing days, Steve Garvey was known for excellence and success with both of the teams he played first base for, the Los Angeles Dodgers and the San Diego Padres.  During his illustrious career, Garvey was known for his glove as well as his bat.  He won four Gold Glove awards, got 200 or more hits in six seasons, was a 2-time All-Star Game MVP, a league MVP, and he holds the record for most consecutive games played in the NL and the record for most consecutive games without an error.  And while you’d think much of this greatness comes from good coaching or raw talent, in his new book, My Bat Boy Days: Lessons I learned From the Boys of Summer, Steve gives a lot of the credit to his days growing up as a bat boy for the team he would later play for. 

A Little Emotional
Spring Cleaning
Bob & Tom PSYCHOtherapist, and long time friend of the show, Dr. Will Miller became popular for his theories on classic television and how those shows reflect on our own society and psychology. In his Book, Why We Watch, Dr. Will discussed everything from Gilligan's Island to Scooby Doo and how those reruns were actually the path to personal peace. Then in his next work, Refrigerator Rights, Dr. Will took an in depth look at what friendship in America is all about by examining how individuals give out Refrigerator Rights. In other words, how many friends do you have that are allowed to just walk right in your home and start rummaging through you're ice box? When listening to Dr. Will on our show, it's like watching the Dr. Phil show, only with good advice, and entertainment value.

It's About Time
If an event of any importance has happened in the past, chances are comedian Scott Dunn can write a joke about it.  Well, not just a joke, an entire routine to be exact.  How can we make such a bold statement?  We have the proof.  Scott has spent the past year calling in to the show every Monday to give us a little history lesson, with a twist. These lessons aren’t boring and stuffy like when your grandpa rambles on about his youth.  No, these tales from times past are chock-full of jokes, laughs and even a few actual historical tidbits you might be able to use in a trivia game down the road.

"Shows like Bad Girls Club are the starting pistol for Armageddon."
- Bobcat Goldthwait on reality TV

"So when you go into the strip clubs, do you leave your dignity in the car or put it in the trunk."
- Tom Griswold

"Humans have sex face to face to cause guilt"
- Chick McGee on how Humans are the only animal to use more positions than doggy style .

"Evidently underwear does serve a purpose."
- Tom Griswold on how he started wearing underwear after seeing an embarrassing picture of himself.

"I think I'm just going to go home and listen to this show. I hear it's pretty good."
- Bob Kevoian

"I'm not even lucky enough to fantasize about winning the lottery. I have to fantasize about someone else winning, and then killing them."
- Andy Hendrickson

"Why can't I have a pool?"
- Todd Snider wondering why now beer companies have paid him to use "Beer Run"

"I thought my marriage was going to be over before we got our wedding pictures back."
- John Heffron

"These guys are actually pretty good people, despite my apathy."
- Chick McGee trying to sound interested while reading a live commercial

"I don't color my hair for the same reason I don't dance, I don't want to feel queer."
- Nick Griffin

"I was on the Quotes Page once... back in 1995 I think."
- Frank Caliendo

"Frank wants to be on the Quotes Page. Yeah, that's what he needs, more exposure."
- Nick Griffin

"So far the BOM&TOM sports desk is 0-2 in solo shows."
- Gunner on his and Chick's solo morning show careers

"I'm not racist, I just find diversity dangerous."
- Daniel Tosh

"Have you guys ever got to the point in your life where you know you've met enough people."
- Greg Warren

"These primaries are like an expensive high school election."
- Bob Kevoian

"One guy doing something weird is a nut, a group of people doing something weird is a church."
- Bengt Washburn on growing up Mormon

"If we were going to be eating Jesus' body, I wanted dark meat."
- Steve Poltz on his confusion during his First Communion

"Get off the treadmill and go to the bar."
- Kristi Lee on how she doesn't like that her gym is becoming a pick-up joint

"Those strip mall karate places only teach you enough to get your ass whupped"
- Paul Thorn

"I scissor-kicked a circus bear to help raise over $200 to raise awareness for animal cruelty."
- Donnie Baker on bear wrestling

"I'm not available... when is it?
- Tom Griswold when asked to attend the Ferret Festival with Chick

"Everything I touch turns to sold."
- Kenny Tarmac

"You can talk about me in the tabloids all you want, but those come out every week and are forgotten. Songs like this, they stick around a lot longer."
- Kid Rock on his new song "So Hott" and how song writers get revenge

"The only professions where people prefer someone with little experience are politics and prostitution."
- Scott Dunn

"As a liberal, it pains me to say this, but when is America finally going to wake up and realize that tigers hate gay people."
- Auggie Smith on the recent tiger attacks and Siegfried and Roy.

"In Asia, the name Ty(rone) means 'creativity.' In America it means 'not hiring.'"
- Ty Barnett

"Why would I lie to you, we're not married?"
- Ross Bennett to Bob Kevoian

"My biggest fear about voting is getting trapped in the booth."
- Jamie Lissow

"This is like a think-tank of nothing."
- Tammy Pescatelli on The BOB&TOM Show

"Are we on the air or are these practice shows we're doing?"
- Chick McGee

"I've come across a fecal monument or two."
- Tom Griswold on the stains on shopping carts

"Kristi Lee Love You Long Time."
- Possible slogan for Kristi Lee in 2008

"Never play flag football in the nude."
- Bob Kevoian

"Whore's gotta eat too."
- Kristi Lee after hearing the story of the prostitute at Thanksgiving dinner

"I'm the boy in the bubble without the bubble."
- Jimmy Pardo on his multiple allergies

"Instruction manuals are nothing more than another man's opinion."
- Chick McGee

"Kids to me are like ghosts. I'm not afraid of them, but I don't want to move into a building that has them."
- Auggie Smith

"My ex-wife told me she wanted a divorce because she'd lost the tingle. I don't know what a tingle is, but it's equivalent to one house."
- Emo Philips

"If you start with it in there, it's okay."
- Bob Kevoian explaining how a thong is different than a wedgies

"I have a gorgeous taint."
- Chick McGee

"Her favorite recording artist is Tomas Edison."
- Bob Kevoian to Granny during the Shoe-In of the Week.

"I'm not going to get an operation on my johnson just because some e-mail keeps suggesting it. But my wife just keeps sending it."
- Nathan Trenholm

"Every project my dad worked on started with 'I can do it' and ended with 'nobody's gonna see that'."
- Andres Fernandez

"How low have you sank when you are going to Greg Hahn for relationship advice."
- Orny Adams to Kristi Lee

"Didn't we leave Tuna Town and move to cookoo-ville?"
- Tom Griswold on Anne Heche

"Now on sale we've got the OJ Simpson 'Find the Real Killer' Mirror. Is it magic or just common sense."
- Billy Mayzing with a new crop of amazing products

"When I'm 80 years old, just sign me up for a nice bowl movement."
-Tom Griswold on Hef and getting older

"My dog will talk your ear off if you let him."
- Dan Grueter on giving his dog a redneck voice

"They show too many commercials at the movies. That's the biggest crime in the world."
- Bob Kevoian

"The only difference between southern sodomy and prison rape is their taste in music."
- Tom Griswold

"I bet gay guys have sex all the time because there aren't any women to tell them no."
- Larry Reeb

"My to-do list consists of women's names and drugs."
- Shane Mauss

"Joe Theismann won't be here for another four hours so you may want to hold off on taking that Viagra."
- Tom Griswold to Chick McGee

"Ladies, if you don't want to date a drunk, don't go shopping at the drunk store."
- Shane Mauss on women picking up men in bars

"If I stopped drinking scotch, Johnny Walker would have to get rid of one of their trucks."
- Ron White

"Are you at all self sufficient?"
- Tom Griswold to Ron White

"I played basketball in highschool and they used to call me the mailman. Not because I was good, but because I used to shoot up the locker room after a bad loss."
- Rob Haney

"I like the WNBA. There is nothing like a two-hour layup drill."
- John Evans