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w w w . b o b a n d t o m . c o m           

April 4 - 8 2005

 

April 8, 2005
Off the Cuff Comedy

As a young boy, Ian Bagg knew he had a gift, it's just that he never got around to opening it. Instead, Ian followed his dream of becoming a traveling standup comedian even though not everyone thought it was the best idea he'd ever had. But as it turns out, the career choice worked out quite well for Bagg, considering he's now a Tonight Show veteran and has landed starring roles in three feature length films, two of which co-starred a monkey. Bagg is a popular act in comedy clubs all over LA, and used to regularly perform at LA Kings games, back when there was still and NHL.

FACTOID - Ian is from the small Canadian town of Terrace, which is located 850 North of Vancouver, or in other words, the middle of nowhere.

 

April 8, 2005
It's Just a Joke
Most comedians are known for having a shtick, or a theme that runs throughout their act. For Jim Holder, that theme is whores. Jim has made a reputation for himself by pointing out to audiences what exactly makes somebody a whore, and why most people in attendance fall into that category. This is most likely how he got the nickname "The Whore Guy." Holder’s whole act isn’t all about whores, however, he’s also cynical when it comes to things like female bonding, radar guns, and dating older women.

 

April 8, 2005
We Have Derek
Daly on the Phone

Derek Daly hails from Dundrum, Ireland and was a force on the Fomula One Racing Series in the early 80's racing in over 60 events. He currently is the owner of the Derek Daly Racing Academy which is based in Las Vegas, NV. Derek will appear on the Tonight Show with Jay Leno and Paul Newman. Paul will challenge Jay to a go kart race and Derek will be the play by play announcer. It is part of the build up to the Long Beach Grand Prix which will be aired this Sunday April 10th at 4:00pm eastern time. Derek will be the color analyst for Champ Car TV this season starting with Long Beach.

 

April 8, 2005
The Ragin' Cajun
When trying to come up with the best way to describe comedian John Morgan, we decided that his current nickname “The Ragin' Cajun” fit just fine. A native of Louisiana, Morgan is a southern boy who’s got a lot to say about his home region, which he does with an easy rapport, and straight shooting southern charm. Morgan's been featured on Showtime, Comedy Central and MTV, but we’re getting him up much earlier in the morning than he’s used to so his energy might not be at its peak. Then again, who said you had to be awake to be funny?

 

April 7, 2005
When He's Here,
He's Family

Not only is comedian Pat Godwin a fantastic songwriter and excellent guitarist with the uncanny ability to mimic the voice and style of almost any other artist you can name, he's also become a member of the family over the years. That's easy to see too, because Godwin has been a major part the past few BOB&TOM albums with multiple tracks including the now classic Gangsta Folk, The Legend of John Fox and C'est La Vie. However, even if you hear him perform one of these songs you know by heart, it's always a new experience because Pat rarely sings a song the same way twice. So pour a bowl of Lucky Charms and get your keg of Guinness ready as Pat Godwin helps us kick off the morning right. This weekend, Pat will be in Springfield, MO with Chick McGee and fellow friends of the show Tim Bedore, Dan St. Paul and Drew Hastings

 

April 7, 2005
Shave and a Haircut
Armed with his ever-tuned guitar (or Toaster) and an adequate grasp of his lyrics, Heywood Banks is one of the best comedian singer/songwriters around. From 18 Wheels on a Big Rig to Wiper Blades Heywood's bank of songs is filled with good, clean fun for the entire family. Though you may wonder how one warped mind could write all these off-the-wall lyrics, you'll never get tired of hearing Heywood belt them out. We're sure you've heard many of Heywood's classics, but you may not be familiar with his newest tunes which are featured on the CD Pretending I'm Not Home (available at comedyhome.com).

FACTOID - Heywood was at Bob's wedding over the weekend but few recognized him now that he's without the Colonel Sanders beard.

 

April 7, 2005
Need a Gambling Buddy?
Singer/songwriter/loveable loser Henry Phillips is one of the cleverest comedians on the planet. His songs are often a tad out of the ordinary and tend to focus on the darker twisted side of life, but we find his soft-spoken self-deprecating personality quite adorable. His demeanor may not show it but he's actually a fun guy to be around, especially if you enjoy gambling. Henry got his start performing serious songs as a folk singer. However, he soon found out that the only way he could keep an audiences' attention was by turning his folk tunes into comedy songs. He wrote his first song by taking the depressing headlines from the daily news and turning them into a comedy ballad he called What Do You Want Me to Do About It? Henry has a pair of outstanding comedy albums, containing comedy classics like Gotta Get a Girlfriend, She’s Talkin' Again and The Roommate From Hell.

 

April 7, 2005
Rocket Man
Dr. David Wolf, our resident expert on everything outer space, is a decorated member of NASA, but has done quite a bit on his home planet too. Wolf holds 11 US patents, has more than 20 awards for three-dimensional tissue engineering technologies and has earned several inventors' awards. But there is one dream he has yet to fulfill. We know that deep down Dr. Wolf secretly always wished he had become a DJ, so we've invited him to call us up give us the low down on what's going on this week at NASA. This goes to show that you don't have to be a rocket scientist to do radio, but it sure doesn't hurt.

 

April 6, 2005
Something Funny Happened
On the Way to the Crime Scene

Comedian Mike Armstrong was such a bad cop, when he left the police force, three internal affairs officers had to be let go because there was no longer a need for their services. Whether he was pulling over motorists to warn them of speed traps down the road, monitoring birds with his radar gun or making U-Turns to avoid arriving on the scene of an accident, Armstrong personally helped strain police relations with the public without even trying. He may have struck fear in the hearts of everyone in town when he was working behind the badge, but now that he's a civilian and making a living on stage we all feel a whole lot safer.

 

April 6, 2005
Don't Forget to Foss
If you enjoy rapid-fire comedy, observational humor and thought provoking musings, you'll realize that going to a Tom Foss show just makes good sense. Foss is a dyslexic, outdoorsy, West Virginian comedy machine gun that fires off jokes faster than most folks can laugh at 'em. But that doesn't mean you shouldn't try. As an added bonus to those in attendance, Foss always makes it a point to work at least five minutes of local material into each set. He finds this location specific comedy just by taking a few hours out of his day to drive around each and every town he performs in. For all these reasons, there isn't a venue in the country that wouldn't welcome Foss with open arms, as long as he's got enough money to buy a ticket.

FACTOID - Tom Foss once worked for Pepsi at one of there plants. He now lives in West Virginia and works as a farmer when not doing standup.

 

April 6, 2005
Vague But True
Tim Bedore, the man behind the exciting feature Vague But True, has been on the move now for what seems like an eternity. For the past month or so, Tim’s been trying to relocate from LA to the Midwest and has had nothing but problems. From incompetent movers, to having to stay in his in-law’s basement, it’s just been one inconvenience after another. But through it all, Tim’s remained dedicated to his legions of adoring fans by continuing to write and share his thoughts in the weekly VBT editorials. Tim will be performing in an upcoming standup extravaganza with fellow friends of the show Drew Hastings, Pat Godwin and Dan St. Paul.

 
 

April 5, 2005
The Spankers are Back
and Sanitized For Your Protection
The musical group that brought us The Pussy Cat Song and The Scrotum Song, neither of which we can play anymore, are returning to the BOB&TOM studio with a handful of songs that have been deemed safe for post-nipplegate radio. The Asylum Street Spankers is a consortium of wildly diverse individuals, all of whom are crazy for music. Originally a country-blues revival band, the group's defining feature was its absolutely all-acoustic shows. No amps, no problem, the Spankers still electrified audiences and became the most talked about band in town. Through nine years, 30 musicians, six albums, and a grueling touring schedule, the Spankers are constantly evolving. Their interests have broadened to include just about every form of music playable on acoustic instruments. They now play mostly original compositions and their humor is more subversive than ever!

 

April 5, 2005
His Life is an Open Book, er, Journal
For weeks now Mike Birbiglia has been sharing his stories from the road in a little segment he likes to call his Secret Public Journal, now accompanied by a snappy little intro featuring a full horn section. We're very excited to say that this week he'll be calling in to read his newest installment, and maybe do a little standup comedy as a added bonus. Recently, Mike's been taking part in a huge comedy tour with fellow friends of the show Drew Hastings, Henry Phillips and Pat Godwin.

FACTOID - Mike claims that the only reason he lost at volleyball while in the Bahamas is because "Bob is a cheater."

 

April 5, 2005
Pick Up the Phone,
It's Bob Zany

After a seven day rest, comedian Bob Zany is poised to return to do what it is he does best, The Zany Report. Though he's often denied the laughs his jokes truly deserve, Bob hasn't given up his personal mission to deliver a Report that requires zero fixing. Hey, it could happen. In all fairness, last week's Report was actually very good, but just in case Zany doesn't have a repeat performance in him, there will be new installments of "Fix-the-Joke, Baby" and the "Bing Crosby Joke of the Week" to save the segment, because everything seems funnier when there are prizes involved.

 

April 4, 2005
First Impressions
When we first met comedian Frank Caliendo all we knew was he was the guy that did the best John Madden impression ever. But to our surprise, Frank wasn't just a one voice wonder, he actually had more great impressions than any one comedian should be allowed to do. Each time Frank visits or calls us on the phone, he impresses us with a variety of celebrity impersonations including Al Pacino, Jeff Goldblum, Norm McDonald, Jim Rome and Ted Knight just to name a few. The scary part is that if you didn’t know any better, you’d think all those celebrities were actually in the studio. In addition to performing standup comedy, Caliendo can be seen on FOX’s sketch comedy show Mad TV and the NFL on FOX pre-game show. Frank is currently back on the road and will be performing in Charlotte, NC this weekend.

 

 

 

 


"Whatever happened to pretty flight attendants?"
- Chick McGee on Travel

"Aren't those people falafel crazy?"
- Jim Holder on what Iraqi's buy at bakeries.

"What's Dr. Phil's son going to do to follow in his footsteps, suck money off a rich black woman and start his own TV show?"
- Bob Kevoian

"People in Canada are still drinking as much, it's just that now they are watching JAG."
- Ian Bagg on the effect of no NHL in Canada

"I'm actually part Kennedy, which is why I've got the full head of hair."
- Pat Godwin on the validity of his song 'Mom's Little Secret'

"You can tell the Pope doesn't have a wife because she would have never let him leave the house wearing that hat."
- Tom Griswold

"Some people at the reception didn't seem to get the comedy that is The Chickster."
- Chick McGee on his R-rated performance at Bob's Wedding

"I don't usually act my height."
- Drew Hastings

"I could run from my brothers when they tried to beat me up, but they could never outrun my mouth. Which is probably why I'm still single today."
- Tammy Pescatelli

"Nothing says 'Happy Birthday Jesus' like the Vegas Strip."
- Mark Sweeney on spending Christmas in Vegas.

"What you hear in your head and what all the rest of us hear are two totally different things."
- Bob Kevoian to Chick after performing an impression

"Most people who get the crap beat out of them deserved it."
- Tom Griswold

"Michael Jackson is dressed like both The Captain and Tannille."
- George Lopez after testifying at Jacko's trial

"If I'm missing out on the finer things of life, that means I'm just waiting to die. So while I'm waiting, I'm having a big glass of scotch."
- Ron White

"I'm the Nostradamus of nicotine."
- Bob Kevoian on predicting that eventually you wouldn't be able to smoke in public

"Never say Robin Williams and writing in the same sentence. Robin does cover versions of other peoples jokes."
- Bill Scheft

"At the heart break hotel, you check in at the counter, but you check out at the toilet."
- Floyd Tucker

"Comedian Joel Lindley has serial killer strength."
- Chick McGee

"Well I hope you're happy, you've ruined Christmas."
- Mark Gross reliving what a lady told him at his worst gig ever.

"Have a seat, John, because coffee's for closers."
- Chick McGee to a caller that 'sealed the deal' after mentioning the BOB&TOM Show on a first date

"It doesn't matter what I do in my career, one of the things I care about most is being quoted on bobandtom.com"
- Frank Caliendo

"Don't cry. You look fat when you cry."
- Pete Lee on how he gets his girlfriend to stop being upset with him.

"I grew up pretty nonreligious, thank god."
- John Evans

"I've been trying to read more, but I've found out that I'm illiterate."
- Tim Northern

"I had my ex-wife air-brushed on my windshield so that it looks like I'm running her monkey-ass over."
- Geoff Brown

"I haven't been working out a lot lately, but I've been making up for it by eating a lot of cake."
- Greg Hahn

"I guess the NHL season is going to start when hell freezes over."
- Bob Kevoian