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April 11- 15 2005

He Likes Young Girls
and He Can Not Lie

Steve Wilson is only 34 years old and yet he’s been performing standup comedy for 18 years. After doing the math, that means he’s been working since the age of 16. Of course, when you find out he was raised by eleven women, it’s easy to see why he wanted to get out of the house. Steve has been featured on BET, was chosen as the Funniest Man in New York in 1988 and has an unhealthy addiction to PlayStation, young girls and the Buffalo Bills.

FACTOID – Steve Wilson is the roommate of fellow comedian and good friend of the show Ralph Harris

 

More Late Nights
with Dave Attell

Can't sleep? Neither can Dave Attell. Not while he's still hosting Comedy Central's adult themed program Insomniac. For the past few years, viewers have been able to follow Dave as he toured around the world performing his comedy. However, unlike most comedy specials, the standup was only the beginning. After his act, the cameras followed Attell's late night adventures through various cities that were famous for their outrageous nightlife. Dave is currently set to start his third Insomniac tour, this time with fellow comics including Dane Cook and Doug Stanhope. If Dave's odd hours don't mesh well with your schedule, you can buy the Best of Insomniac on DVD.

FACTOID - Dave Attell is the voice of the commentator on the video game Outlaw Golf 2.

 

It's Been a Long Time
She’s a fresh, folksy Canadian comedienne described as "the girl next door after being dragged around the block a few times." Tracy Smith has a comedic charm that keeps audiences off balance and laughing with her on-target “hindsight” brand of comedy. Smith’s TV appearances include Evening at the Improv,
MTV's Half Hour Comedy Hour, Comedy Central, and Make Me Laugh, but she's probably best well known for her appearance on the BOB&TOM album Gone Wild where she talked about being attracted to her doctor.

 

Not Only Is She Better Looking Than Simon, She Can Sing Better Too
The smash hit reality show American Idol is arguably one of the most popular programs in television history, and though the show focuses on finding the next best-selling pop signer, the majority of Idol’s personality and charm comes from it’s three judges. While Simon Cowell is the harsh one and Randy Jackson tells it like it is, the judge that loves every contestant never hurts anyone’s feelings is Paula Abdul. Paula first made a name for herself over two decades ago when she transformed the Los Angeles Lakers cheerleaders into the world-famous Laker Girls dance squad. From there she went on to record two chart topping, Grammy Award winning albums (Forever Your Girl and Spellbound) and became one of the best selling female artists of the late 80’s/ early 90’s.
FACTOID – Paul Abdul released six #1 hits from 1989-1991.

JORDAN WARD ILLUSTRATION

 

And Now Another Vague But True Tale
Now that Tim Bedore's popular segment, Vague But True, has become a regular feature on the BOB&TOM show, we can't wait to find out what the topic of each new installment will be. The last time we talked to Tim, he shared with us his story about helping a super model break into her car to rescue her baby in the parking lot of grocery story, and how this was the perfect example of why he left LA for the midwest. The connection was much clearer when he explained it. Whether the inspiration for his editorials is ripped from the headlines or based on his outlandish fantasies, you know Bedore will be reporting them from his new home each week. Tim is currently performing his standup as part of the Four Stand-up Dads comedy tour.

 

And You Thought
The Room Next to the
Ice Machine Was Noisy
While on the road, your typical musician would spend their off time lounging about or partying with locals in between gigs , but Bryan Adams' most recent album proves that he’s not of that mold. Every track on his new CD Room Service was written and recorded in various hotel rooms around the world. From New York to Barcelona, Adams spent the past two years on the road, and when he wasn’t performing on stage he was in his hotel rooms recording songs on a portable studio that he carried with him in two suitcases. For Adams, this is his first release in over six-years, and he’s hoping a few of the songs from it like This Side of Paradise or Open Road will be his next (Everything I Do) I Do It For You.

FACTOID – Bryan Adams' biggest hit, (Everything I Do) I Do IT For You is tied for third on the all-time best selling singles list with over 3 million copies sold.

 

George's Beautiful
TV Bride

Along with the fact that George Lopez is a longtime friend of the show, the other best reason for watching his sitcom
George Lopez is to see the lovely actress who plays his wife, Constance Marie. As Angie, Marie stars opposite of Lopez on the hit ABC sitcom, but at the same time she’s also working on PBS’s one-hour drama, American Family. Constance has been a fixture in Hollywood since breaking into the business as a break-dancer in the 80’s. Since then, she’s been featured in both film and television with credits including the movies Selena and Tortilla Soup and the shows Spin City, Ally McBeal and Early Edition.

 

Birbigs is Heading For Late Night TV
Our good buddy Mike Birbiglia is heading back to network TV when he makes his long awaited appearance on The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson (formerly with Craig Kilborn). We haven't heard for sure if he'll be reading from his journal or not, but we do know that he'll be featured on the show Tuesday the 12th on CBS.

 

Two Jokes For the
Laughs of One

After a seven day rest, comedian Bob Zany is poised to return to do what it is he does best, The Zany Report. Though he's often denied the laughs his jokes truly deserve, Bob hasn't given up his personal mission to deliver a Report that requires zero fixing, and gets everyone in the studio to laugh, at least once. As a safeguard, just incase this week's report doesn't live up to his lofty goal, there's always "Fix-the-Joke, Baby" and the "Bing Crosby Joke of the Week" to save the segment. Because as we all know, everything is funnier when there are prizes involved.

 

The Show with Bill Scheft
Former standup comedian turned writer, Bill Scheft pens the the column "The Show" in Sports Illustrated, and is the author of one of the greatest novels of our generation, The Ringer, but right now he's first and foremost a sports fan. More specifically, a Boston sports fan. You probably couldn't find a happier guy right now since his New England Patriots won their third Super Bowl in four years and his Boston Red Sox have just begun defending their first championship in 86 years. We're sure with all this excitement in his home town, baseball starting up and the NCAA Tourney coming to a close, Bill's got more than enough material to write about. Aside from all this sports talk, Scheft is by far one of the most comically gifted geniuses we've ever had on the show, and appears on the newest BOB&TOM album, Odd Balls. Did we mention that his book would make a great gift?

 

The Road Dog
He's big, he's bald, and he goes by the name Road Dog. Don Reese may not look like your typical comedian, but he's the star of MTV's highest rated Half Hour Comedy Hour of all time. Don's standup (AKA - It Came From Iowa) has also been featured on A&E's Evening at the Improv and he recently released his first comedy album, Go Change Your Pants.

 

 

 

 


"When a woman says 'underwear' instead of 'panties' it makes you think she's also using a tampon the size of a lifebelt."
- Tom Griswold

"I'm 40 and don't know if I want to get married anymore. I just want someone to throw me a shower."
- Tracy Smith

"Hey, you wanna go make your parents proud."
- "Donny Baker" on his move

"To me, the E! network answers questions that you were never going to ask... like how was Full House made."
- Mike Birbiglia

"I have a loving family, make ends meet, but three out of five days I drive home sobbing."
- Chick McGee on Tom being mean to him

"Whatever happened to pretty flight attendants?"
- Chick McGee on Travel

"Aren't those people falafel crazy?"
- Jim Holder on what Iraqi's buy at bakeries.

"What's Dr. Phil's son going to do to follow in his footsteps, suck money off a rich black woman and start his own TV show?"
- Bob Kevoian

"People in Canada are still drinking as much, it's just that now they are watching JAG."
- Ian Bagg on the effect of no NHL in Canada

"I'm actually part Kennedy, which is why I've got the full head of hair."
- Pat Godwin on the validity of his song 'Mom's Little Secret'

"You can tell the Pope doesn't have a wife because she would have never let him leave the house wearing that hat."
- Tom Griswold

"Some people at the reception didn't seem to get the comedy that is The Chickster."
- Chick McGee on his R-rated performance at Bob's Wedding

"I don't usually act my height."
- Drew Hastings

"I could run from my brothers when they tried to beat me up, but they could never outrun my mouth. Which is probably why I'm still single today."
- Tammy Pescatelli

"Nothing says 'Happy Birthday Jesus' like the Vegas Strip."
- Mark Sweeney on spending Christmas in Vegas.

"What you hear in your head and what all the rest of us hear are two totally different things."
- Bob Kevoian to Chick after performing an impression

"Most people who get the crap beat out of them deserved it."
- Tom Griswold

"Michael Jackson is dressed like both The Captain and Tannille."
- George Lopez after testifying at Jacko's trial

"If I'm missing out on the finer things of life, that means I'm just waiting to die. So while I'm waiting, I'm having a big glass of scotch."
- Ron White

"I'm the Nostradamus of nicotine."
- Bob Kevoian on predicting that eventually you wouldn't be able to smoke in public

"Never say Robin Williams and writing in the same sentence. Robin does cover versions of other peoples jokes."
- Bill Scheft

"At the heart break hotel, you check in at the counter, but you check out at the toilet."
- Floyd Tucker

"Comedian Joel Lindley has serial killer strength."
- Chick McGee

"Well I hope you're happy, you've ruined Christmas."
- Mark Gross reliving what a lady told him at his worst gig ever.

"Have a seat, John, because coffee's for closers."
- Chick McGee to a caller that 'sealed the deal' after mentioning the BOB&TOM Show on a first date

"It doesn't matter what I do in my career, one of the things I care about most is being quoted on bobandtom.com"
- Frank Caliendo

"Don't cry. You look fat when you cry."
- Pete Lee on how he gets his girlfriend to stop being upset with him.

"I grew up pretty nonreligious, thank god."
- John Evans

"I've been trying to read more, but I've found out that I'm illiterate."
- Tim Northern

"I had my ex-wife air-brushed on my windshield so that it looks like I'm running her monkey-ass over."
- Geoff Brown

"I haven't been working out a lot lately, but I've been making up for it by eating a lot of cake."
- Greg Hahn

"I guess the NHL season is going to start when hell freezes over."
- Bob Kevoian