Jokes
Audio clips
Events link Archives link Frequently asked questions link

w w w . b o b a n d t o m . c o m           

April 15-19

April 18, 2002
"Ol' DW" is Still in the NASCAR game
Darrell Waltrip spent 29 years driving putting his life on the line, driving cars around the tracks, but after retiring from the sport, he didn't walk away completely. Now working in the commentary booth for FOX, Waltrip spends his weekends calling the action.

In his driving days, Waltrip was one of the most victorious weekend warriors of all time, winning at least one race each year from 1975-1989. He captured three Winston Cup trophies, and is third all in all time race victories.






This wasn't always the case, however. Though he's always been a good talker, even earning the nickname "Jaws," it took him 50 starts to win his first race. Once he got the first one under his belt, the rest came pretty easily. Waltrip has been fan favorite for years, and is one of the most highly decorated drivers in NASCAR. Among his accomplishments, is being named one of the 50 Greatest NASCAR drivers of all time.

Don't rule out Darrell getting back inside the car though, he says his racing days might not be over. "I am still very competitive, and in this sport, age doesn't really make a difference. It's the team you are on," says Waltrip. He says he left the first time because it was his car and his team that was causing him to be less competitive than he would have liked to have been. "If I'm not there racing up front with the boys, it's not fun for me any more." Even though he says that the best place to be in a race is right there in the middle of the pack. It's what he calls the "eye of the storm."

"It's a great place to be," says Waltrip, "But just like the eye of the storm, you never know when you're going to be thrown out."
 

April 17, 2002
Spring Break... Wooo!
Each and every March, kids of all ages take a week off from their schooling to enjoy the phenomenon that has become Spring Break. No longer just a time for the family to get out and hit the amusement parks in Florida, it has become a time for fun in the sun, drinking alcohol, bonging beer, wearing skimpy swim suits, and trying to get on MTV. This caught the attention of CBS's 48 Hours, and correspondent Peter Van Sant was sent to look into the situation more closely.


Peter left for the sunny beaches of Panama City, Florida where they average 80 thousand college kids each summer. "My favorite quote came from the Sheriff of Panama City," says Van Sant. "These are your kids, my kids, and my grand kids out there. They are drinking and mostly naked. But you have them 51 weeks of the year, and if you've raised them right, you ain't got nothing to worry about."

This trip was really Peter's first spring break, having never made the trips as a student. "When I was in school on the west coast, spring break was a time to go home and visit the family." Judging by his experience while on assignment, he doesn't really mind having missed out. "After 4 hours of girls going "wooo!" it got a little old.

In the report, 48 Hours will take viewers to the party scene, following srudents from Southern Illinois. They will also get the inside scoop from the Mayor of Panama City, and ride around with local police. Panama City brings in over $300 million in revenue from these kids, so police might be inclined to look the other way when things get a bit out of control.

This might be part of the reason the "Girls Gone Wild" videos have come about. Where there are girls in bikini's, you can expect cameras to be rolling, and it seems as though a lot of that footage is now being offered on video for the discriminating viewer. Peter explored this underside of spring break, and even ran into the man responsible for the popular video series. "This guy is the new Hugh Heffner, and these videos are the new Playboy Magazine," says Van Sant. "I saw girls lined up to flash themselves at this guy. They get nothing in return, and he is making millions of dollars a year. But when I asked them about it, the girls just said "hey, it's spring break."

 

April 17, 2002
Empowering Generations
Marlo Thomas has been an icon for women since the 60's. As That Girl, she set the stage for single career women all over the country and her character, Ann Marie, was one of the first female leads to break free of the typical "mothering" stereotype. Not just a leader on the screen, Thomas continued her fight for women's rights off camera as well, along with many other "uplifting" causes that she felt embodied what's good in the world. This includes St. Jude Children’s Research Hospital, which might have inspired her role in the upcoming CBS made for TV movie, Two Against Time.

The film recounts the true life tale of a single mother who has to bond with her troubled teenage daughter when they are both confronted by life threatening illnesses.
"I met with all the real life people involved in the story," said Thomas about her role in Two Against Time. "I did a lot of research for this one. It's the first TV movie I've done in five years, so you know it will be a good one." The movie airs Sunday Night on CBS, but before that, Marlo is making another TV appearance on the NBC network, reviving her role as Jennifer Aniston's mom on Friends. "I always used to be cast as the daughter characters, now I am always playing the moms."

Aside from her television roles, Marlo has been busy with many other projects. Like the Bob & TomShow's very own Kristi Lee, Marlo was featured in an off Broadway production of The Vagina Monologues. "That show is very liberating," says Thomas. "With all those women, it becomes like a rally."
She also has a new book on the way titled Right Words at the Right Time. In the book, she talks to 180 of the biggest stars around and finds out what words from their past inspired there lives and careers.
"My words came from my father when I was first starting out, and was constantly compared to him. But he pulled me aside and said, I raised you to be a thoroughbred, and thoroughbreds just run he race, they don't look at the other horses. Just run your own race, baby." All the proceeds from the book go to St. Jude Children’s Research Hospital.

And run her own race she did. Besides That Girl, for which Thomas won a Golden Globe, she inspired a generation of kids with her million-selling album Free to Be...You & Me. She has also won a Peabody Award, four Emmys, and is married to talk show host, Phil Donahue.

 
April 15, 2002
People Want Mohr
Stand up comedian, actor, and impressionist, Jay Mohr likes to refer to his new show
Mohr Sports, the "little boy's dream comes true" show. "I'm 31, and I'm interviewing people like Pete Rose... how could I not love this?"

Mohr's involvement in the sporting scene is a relatively new thing. He's a
Saturday Night Live alumni, movie star, and talented stand up comic but the sports aspect of his career didn't really take off until about a year and a half ago. He started making guest appearances on The Jungle with Jim Rome, and from there was offered multiple positions with ESPN. Until finally, he landed his own show.

"ESPN has been great, except the time slot could be a little better. What better way to debut a show than to put it on after Australian Rules football on a Monday night?" Despite the slot, Jay says the kids on the street, and even the ladies are "totally down," with the show.

It's a mix of interviews with sports stars, rock bands, and other celebrities. Mohr also blends in some comical skits, and remote locations to the program. On an upcoming episode, Jay takes his crew to some urban barber shops to talk sports, as well presents a skit that is "strictly for the ladies."

"Although it's probably the gayest skit ever on television, we are doing a bit about men my wife thinks are hot," says Mohr.

Jay's schedule has been full due to the new show, but Mohr still finds time to do the acting thing. He has two new movies due out soon, one with Eddie Murphy, and one with Al Pacino. "It's hard to take time off when it's your name on the door as the star of a show. Even if you want to take the time off, it's really tough."

Good thing for Jay that he really enjoys what he's doing. "How many people get to have a job that is exactly what they have always wanted to do?" This week, Mohr interviews Mark Cuban, owner of the Dallas Mavericks. To find out when the episode airs, just check out his JayMohrLive.com. Jay has unselfishly created a clock that counts down the minutes till the next episode airs. "Whether you love the show or hate it, I'm doing it just the way I want."

April 15, 2002
George's Show is Staying Strong
In a season filled with canceled sitcoms, The George Lopez Show is one of the few programs that has found a loyal audience and held on to its strong ratings. "ABC has had a hard time with sitcoms this year," says George Lopez, "so I called the president of ABC and asked him about picking us up again next season. He really likes the show but said it looks like they are going to wait about 3 more weeks to decide. But things are going really well."

G-Lo's show is one of the first to focus on the lives of a Latino family, and it's based on the life of it's star. "Almost everything in the show comes from my real life growing up." This ranges from his job at the airplane parts factory, to his dislike of celebrating birthdays.

"It's like an out of body experience doing this show," says Lopez. "When you are doing something you've wanted to do your whole life, it's really something."

Lopez says he won't stop trying to make sure his show stays a hit. "I'll put on a dress and dance if I have to," says
George Lopez. "I'll do whatever I have to promote the show. I just want to be able to do the this for about five years, then move to Hawaii and become a Samoan."

FACTOID - The George Lopez Show is the first in history to be broadcast in both English and Spanish in it's first run.

 

"Is it bad when your husband starts referring to his burial plot as the vacation getaway?"
- Etta May

"There's not much style in a size 60 sport coat"
- Chick McGee recalling an inspirational phrase his father shared with him.

Dick jokes bought me a house, and poop jokes furnished it.
- Bob Zany

Veggie Hot dogs at the ball park? Why don't those vegetarians go start their own baseball league, one where the players aren't made out of meat.
- Bob Kevoian

I slept with a 60 year old woman once. The best thing about it was that I didn't have to take her home the next morning, the van came and picked her up.
- George Lopez

If loving you is wrong, Bob, I don't want to be right.
-Chick McGee

No matter what Britney Spears decides to name her new restaurant, the most talked about item on the menu will be the stuffed breasts.
-"Larry King"

Have you seen "The Bachelor" yet? This show is a tremendously bad idea... which is why I am not going to miss a single episode.
- Tom Griswold

Her boobs looked like fried eggs sliding down a wall.
-"Larry King"
( Describing Gwyneth Paltrow at the Oscars.)

You know, I'm not here to judge any one, but that is wrong.
-Chick McGee

I just want to meet a nice girl, settle down, and start cheating on her.
-Joel Lindley

I broke up with my girlfriend the other day. I guess girls seem to like guys who have goals... nobody teaches you that kind of thing.
-Henry Phillips