THE BOB & TOM SHOW - Program Notes

w w w . b o b a n d t o m . c o m

April 21 - 25, 2008

From Second City to SNL to 30 Rock
From her very first night as a member of the famed Second City comedy troop in Chicago, Tina Fey knew she wanted to make comedy her life. Fey immediately immersed herself in the art of comedic acting and writing, and before long she was working on the mother of all sketch comedy shows, Saturday Night Live. By 1999 Fey became the first female head writer in the show’s history, and not long after that, she became the lead anchor on the long running SNL feature, Weekend Update. After leaving SNL, Tina’s fame has only gotten bigger. She is now the Emmy nominated producer, writer and star of NBC’s hit series 30 Rock, wrote and starred in the smash hit film Mean Girls, and is the star of the upcoming comedy Baby Momma alongside former SNL cohort Amy Poehler. Baby Mamma opens this Friday in theaters everywhere.

Drew Hastings:
Irked and Miffed
Get out your red pen and circle April 26th on your calendar because you won't want to miss Drew Hastings' first solo Comedy Central special, Irked and Miffed. From life of the farm to Drew's thoughts on relationships, this special will cover all of his hot button issues. To whet your appetite for the big debut, Drew has provided us with this exclusive sneak peak from the special.

Big Comedians, Bigger Laughs
When it comes to comedians, Jim McCue is head and shoulders above the rest. This is mostly due to his freakish six foot six frame, but even in the joke department he ranks pretty high. Jim McCue has been featured on Comedy Central and Comcast Comedy Spotlight, and is versatile enough to worked any kind of venue including clubs, colleges corporate gigs and even for the troops in Iraq. Outside of stand-up, Jim is an actor, he’s the founder of The Boston Comedy and Movie Festival and he recently wrote a book about his time overseas, Embedded Comedian.

Matt Fugate Opens Up
From the moment he started getting laughs while reciting old Bill Cosby routines on the playground, Matt Fugate knew he wanted to be a standup comedian. And though he's had to begin writing his own material, and can no longer plagiarize old albums, he's been able to turn his defense mechanism into a successful career. Fugate's style of comedy is often described as being smart, which we are pretty sure is a compliment. Along with standup, Fugate is also a co-creator of the spoof website AlliedChemical.com and a humor columnist for Effect Magazine.

The Great American Storyteller
Known as one of the great story tellers in comedy, Tonight Show veteran Ron Shock doesn’t have to write a lot of material, because almost all of his stories are true. When you’ve lived a life as adventurous as his, it’s almost impossible to make anything up. Before becoming a comedian, Ron studied to be a priest, was on a chain gang in Louisiana, was arrested for being a jewel thief, then spent time in prison. But that’s not all, when he got out of prison he became the VP of a Fortune 500 Company and an inventor who holds three patents in electronics. Now, with all that excitement behind him, Shock has turned to stand-up comedy and taken his tales on the road to clubs across the country.

A Name
You Won't Forget
With a name like Stankos, he’s gotta be good. Originally from Chicago, Stan Stankos left for New York to develop his stand-up comedy. Now, with his finely tuned act consisting of quick, clean and clever topical jokes, Stan tours the country, performing in a new citry every week. If you check his schedule and see he’s not due back in your town for a few months, don’t fret. You can buy both of his live comedy albums, Stosh and Monkeyrodeo, on his website.

It's a Sick World, And He's a Happy Guy
Chicago native, Larry Reeb, loves three things, cigars, the Bears, and dispensing helpful advice about life to unsuspecting audiences. Oh, and his wife is probably a close fourth. Known around the country as Uncle Lar, Reeb is the guy you do your best to keep the kids away from at the family reunions. He may look like an average guy, but underneath that pale facade lurks a sick and twisted sense of humor. We're not saying you won't find him unbelievably funny, because he is, it's just that you might feel a little dirty for laughing at some of the "Tips from your Uncle Lar."

JORDAN WARD illustration

Fresh Brewed Eddie
When Eddie Gossling first entered comedy, he was a huge hit on the college scenes, but as those kids grew up, so to did Eddie's act. Now he's become a hit on national scene, having appeared on Jimmy Kimmel Live, been a regular at the Just For Laughs Comedy Festival and being voted as having one of the best Comedy Central Specials of all-time. Eddie was also featured on the short-lived National Lampoon's Funny Money, Brovo's series Living in a Red State, and Comedy Central's Premium Blend.

Chick and Joe - Best Friends Forever!
Nothing in life makes the Chickster happier than his beloved Washington Redskins, which is why we've not been able to get him out of the studio since he found out his hero, former 'Skins QB Joe Theismann, would once again be joining us in the studio. It comes as no surprise that Chick has a huge man-crush on Theismann, he's only one of the all time greats in franchise history. He lead the team to two Super Bowls (winning one), was named to the Pro-Bowl twice, NFL MVP once and owns most of the Redskins passing records. Late last year, Joe invited Chick to spend a few days with him out in Washington D.C. and even took him to a Redskins game for his birthday. Now it's Chick's turn to return the favor. We'll have to find out from Joe how the evening goes.
Watch the video of Chick's Redskins Adventure

Frank Caliendo is Everywhere
When his time on MAD TV came to an end, people were afraid that might be the end of Frank Caliendo on television. Far from it. Instead, Frank's popularity has skyrocketed to the point that he's now considered to be America's go-to guy when it comes to impressions. He ever growing repertoire includes John Madden, Charles Barkley, President Bush, Robert DeNiro, Dr. Phil, Robin Williams and the entire cast of Seinfeld. These days, Frank can be seen on his popular late night program Frank TV on TBS, during football broadcasts on FOX, as a frequent guest on Late Night with David Letterman, and most recently as the pitch man (or men) for Dish Network. And in case you might have missed Frank TV the first time around, the first five episodes of the show will be playing on TBS all April long. Catch Frank TV Tuesday nights at 11pm on TBS.

He Was in Dreamgirls
There are two things you can count on whenever Ralph Harris takes the stage, one this that you're going to have a good time, the other is that he's probably close to or is already engaged to be married. A Tonight Show veteran and finalist on Last Comic Standing. Harris isn't your typical stand-up comedian because he does much more than tell jokes on stage, he acts them out. During his performances, he's constantly developing and transforming himself into new and interesting characters so that when he starts reliving his childhood memories he doesn't just talk about his relatives, he becomes them. Ralph's natural chameleon-like ability has helped him land a few roles in hit films like Dreamgirls and Evan Almighty

The Return of
Tim Bedore
It's been two weeks since we last visited with comedian Tim Bedore, which is why we can hardly wait to hear him deliver another edition of his popular and always exciting editorial known as Vague But True. Live from his home in Minnesota where he's seated comfortably at mission control, Tim shares his thoughts on life, society, politics and his day to day activities, presented in the form of in-depth, entertaining monologues. Over the past few years, these musings have helped us learn a lot about Bedore, including his thoughts on downloading movies, advice columns, raising children and how animals are trying to wipe out our species.

A Very Zany Decade
For over a decade now, comedian Bob Zany has been calling into the BOB&TOM Show each week to deliver his legendary news cast, The Zany Report, and we’re just as excited about it today as we've ever been. But just in case you're new to the show or are unfamiliar with the concept of The Zany Report, we’ll explain how it works. Every Tuesday, Bob Zany calls in to deliver a handful of jokes based on current events and comical news stories. Though his intention is to present a report that is hilarious from top to bottom, it doesn’t always work out this way. That's precisely why Zany then invites a lucky fan to call in and fix one of his past punch lines in a little game he calls Fix-The-Joke Baby! Sounds easy, doesn’t it? To find out more, got to bobzany.com, baby!

JORDAN WARD illustration

The Biggest Name in Comedy
Of all the guests we regularly have on the show, comedian Costaki Economopoulos possesses the longest and most difficult name to spell, by far. And while we can't stand having to type it out each week, we do look forward to his calls. In his Economonologues (another word we dread) he gets the chance to cover any and everything that has popped into his head in the past seven days. These topics have included strange superstitions, odd phobias and the origin of common clichés. Costaki's able to take the things he sees and hears in everyday life and turn turn them into comedic observations you won't be able to believe you haven't thought of before, and will never be able to forget.

JORDAN WARD illustration

Get 'er Dunn
For those of you who aren't familiar with Scott Dunn, he's a stand-up comedian, an author, a father of two, a husband of one, and is also a history buff. This the past year, Scott's been using his knowledge of the past to create a regular feature on the show in which his "Roasts" major events throughout history, and then gives us a little pop-quiz when he's done. So make sure you've got a No. 2 pencil handy and remember to fill in those circles completely.

April 14 - 18
Program Notes

"The difference between classy and trashy is timing and planning."
- David Crowe on dating

"I don't think anyone was expecting a fecal attack."
- Tom Griswold on the story about a guy defecating in a basket full of video games.

"The old man's creed: Never trust a fart and never waste a boner."
- Pat Dailey

"Most of the women I've dated are like Pringles. They're white, slightly warped and the snap easily."
- Drew Hastings

"If I put out an album it would be called 'Chick McGee: Coastin'"
- Chick McGee on his work ethic

"I'm just trying to let your jokes register through my antidepressants."
- Drew Hastings on why he wasn't laughing during the Zany Report

"Shows like Bad Girls Club are the starting pistol for Armageddon."
- Bobcat Goldthwait on reality TV

"So when you go into the strip clubs, do you leave your dignity in the car or put it in the trunk."
- Tom Griswold

"Humans have sex face to face to cause guilt"
- Chick McGee on how Humans are the only animal to use more positions than doggy style .

"Evidently underwear does serve a purpose."
- Tom Griswold on how he started wearing underwear after seeing an embarrassing picture of himself.

"I think I'm just going to go home and listen to this show. I hear it's pretty good."
- Bob Kevoian

"I'm not even lucky enough to fantasize about winning the lottery. I have to fantasize about someone else winning, and then killing them."
- Andy Hendrickson

"Why can't I have a pool?"
- Todd Snider wondering why now beer companies have paid him to use "Beer Run"

"I thought my marriage was going to be over before we got our wedding pictures back."
- John Heffron

"These guys are actually pretty good people, despite my apathy."
- Chick McGee trying to sound interested while reading a live commercial

"I don't color my hair for the same reason I don't dance, I don't want to feel queer."
- Nick Griffin

"I was on the Quotes Page once... back in 1995 I think."
- Frank Caliendo

"Frank wants to be on the Quotes Page. Yeah, that's what he needs, more exposure."
- Nick Griffin

"So far the BOB&TOM sports desk is 0-2 in solo shows."
- Gunner on his and Chick's solo morning show careers

"I'm not racist, I just find diversity dangerous."
- Daniel Tosh

"Have you guys ever got to the point in your life where you know you've met enough people."
- Greg Warren

"These primaries are like an expensive high school election."
- Bob Kevoian

"One guy doing something weird is a nut, a group of people doing something weird is a church."
- Bengt Washburn on growing up Mormon

"If we were going to be eating Jesus' body, I wanted dark meat."
- Steve Poltz on his confusion during his First Communion

"Get off the treadmill and go to the bar."
- Kristi Lee on how she doesn't like that her gym is becoming a pick-up joint

"Those strip mall karate places only teach you enough to get your ass whupped"
- Paul Thorn

"I scissor-kicked a circus bear to help raise over $200 to raise awareness for animal cruelty."
- Donnie Baker on bear wrestling

"I'm not available... when is it?
- Tom Griswold when asked to attend the Ferret Festival with Chick

"Everything I touch turns to sold."
- Kenny Tarmac

"You can talk about me in the tabloids all you want, but those come out every week and are forgotten. Songs like this, they stick around a lot longer."
- Kid Rock on his new song "So Hott" and how song writers get revenge

"The only professions where people prefer someone with little experience are politics and prostitution."
- Scott Dunn

"As a liberal, it pains me to say this, but when is America finally going to wake up and realize that tigers hate gay people."
- Auggie Smith on the recent tiger attacks and Siegfried and Roy.

"In Asia, the name Ty(rone) means 'creativity.' In America it means 'not hiring.'"
- Ty Barnett

"Why would I lie to you, we're not married?"
- Ross Bennett to Bob Kevoian

"My biggest fear about voting is getting trapped in the booth."
- Jamie Lissow

"This is like a think-tank of nothing."
- Tammy Pescatelli on The BOB&TOM Show

"Are we on the air or are these practice shows we're doing?"
- Chick McGee

"I've come across a fecal monument or two."
- Tom Griswold on the stains on shopping carts

"Kristi Lee Love You Long Time."
- Possible slogan for Kristi Lee in 2008

"Never play flag football in the nude."
- Bob Kevoian

"Whore's gotta eat too."
- Kristi Lee after hearing the story of the prostitute at Thanksgiving dinner

"I'm the boy in the bubble without the bubble."
- Jimmy Pardo on his multiple allergies

"Instruction manuals are nothing more than another man's opinion."
- Chick McGee

"Kids to me are like ghosts. I'm not afraid of them, but I don't want to move into a building that has them."
- Auggie Smith

"My ex-wife told me she wanted a divorce because she'd lost the tingle. I don't know what a tingle is, but it's equivalent to one house."
- Emo Philips

"If you start with it in there, it's okay."
- Bob Kevoian explaining how a thong is different than a wedgies

"I have a gorgeous taint."
- Chick McGee

"Her favorite recording artist is Tomas Edison."
- Bob Kevoian to Granny during the Shoe-In of the Week.

"I'm not going to get an operation on my johnson just because some e-mail keeps suggesting it. But my wife just keeps sending it."
- Nathan Trenholm

"Every project my dad worked on started with 'I can do it' and ended with 'nobody's gonna see that'."
- Andres Fernandez

"How low have you sank when you are going to Greg Hahn for relationship advice."
- Orny Adams to Kristi Lee

"Didn't we leave Tuna Town and move to cookoo-ville?"
- Tom Griswold on Anne Heche

"Now on sale we've got the OJ Simpson 'Find the Real Killer' Mirror. Is it magic or just common sense."
- Billy Mayzing with a new crop of amazing products

"When I'm 80 years old, just sign me up for a nice bowl movement."
-Tom Griswold on Hef and getting older

"My dog will talk your ear off if you let him."
- Dan Grueter on giving his dog a redneck voice

"They show too many commercials at the movies. That's the biggest crime in the world."
- Bob Kevoian

"The only difference between southern sodomy and prison rape is their taste in music."
- Tom Griswold

"I bet gay guys have sex all the time because there aren't any women to tell them no."
- Larry Reeb

"My to-do list consists of women's names and drugs."
- Shane Mauss

"Joe Theismann won't be here for another four hours so you may want to hold off on taking that Viagra."
- Tom Griswold to Chick McGee

"Ladies, if you don't want to date a drunk, don't go shopping at the drunk store."
- Shane Mauss on women picking up men in bars

"If I stopped drinking scotch, Johnny Walker would have to get rid of one of their trucks."
- Ron White

"Are you at all self sufficient?"
- Tom Griswold to Ron White

"I played basketball in highschool and they used to call me the mailman. Not because I was good, but because I used to shoot up the locker room after a bad loss."
- Rob Haney

"I like the WNBA. There is nothing like a two-hour layup drill."
- John Evans