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w w w . b o b a n d t o m . c o m           

April 25 - 29 2005

The Other Mr. Rogers
Kivi Rogers was just your average computer geek, working nine to five with a reputable company. Throughout the workday, he would pass the time and harass his coworkers with his quick wit and comical voices. Eventually (in what we think it was a clever ploy to get rid of him), his work mates were able to convince Kivi to try out his act on stage. When he was convinced he could do it, he not only did it, he did it well. Rogers won a comedy contest on his very first attempt, and has been going strong ever since. Kivi is a Tonight Show veteran and has also landed acting gigs on hit shows like The West Wing, Every Body Loves Raymond, and Dharma & Greg.

FACTOID - Kivi Rogers comes from a big family. He is the yongest of six brothers and one sister.

 

Thursday Starts the Weekend!
When comedian Greg Hahn takes the stage, he brings an energetic, all-out style of physical humor, one-liners and crowd work unlike you've ever seen. And once he get's going there's no stopping him because he doesn't have time for laughs, he's out to create immediate pandemonium and panic. Hahn will wear an audience out with his rapid-fire jokes leave them holding their sides, trying to catch their breath in no time. Though Hahn's resume includes numerous television appearances and headlining countless comedy clubs, his true calling may be as a speaker at corporate functions. Hahn is famous for stepping behind the podium during stuffy business events and pretending to be a guest speaker, only to launch into his bizarre antics. Needless to say, it takes everyone in attendance completely off guard.

FACTOID - Greg Hahn was the featured performer at last year's BOB&TOM Christmas party where he received a standing ovation.

 

The Man With
the Big Hands

Though he didn’t begin his career as a standup comic, there is absolutely nothing that could ever make Alonzo Bodden give it up now. Once he took the stage and got a taste of what it was like to entertain, Bodden was hooked and has not looked back since. Before comedy, Alonzo was an airline mechanic, working on everything from Lear jets to Stealth Bombers. It was during one of his stints as a trainer that Alonzo found he could leave a crowd in stitches without even having to pick up a wrench. All he needed was a little motivation to turn his natural comedic talent into a career in standup. This came in the form of being fired. Since then, Bodden has been touring the country, as well as traveling around the globe with the USO. According to Alonzo, this means he is the only guy who’s both built bombers and performed for their pilots.

FACTOID - After making it to the finals of Last Comic Standing's second season, Alonzo Bodden went on to WIN the $250 thousand grand prize on the third season of NBC's reality show.

 

He's Twisted
Described as one of the most twisted individuals you’ll ever see perform, Doug Stanhope has no problem telling people that his show might not be for them. He’s confrontational, vulgar, graphic, uninhibited and brutally honest, and these descriptions come from his own bio. With all that said, however, Doug is still considered to be one ot the best comedians performing today. He’s hosted The Man Show on Comedy Central as well as a couple of the Girls Gone Wild videos. When he’s not performing, Doug’s hobbies include writing prank letters to companies and baiting perverts in chat rooms.

 

Mobile Home Disaster
It wasn’t all that long ago that Bill Engvall was famous for his “Here’s Your Sign,” standup comedy. And though that phrase and comedy piece launched him into the spotlight, nothing can compare with the fame brought on by being a part of the Blue Collar Comedy Tour phenomenon. Even though he is considered to be the Norman Fell of the funny foursome, Bill is reaping the rewards of Blue Collar branded CD’s, DVD’s, TV sketch comedy shows and a feature film. And that's not all, Bill's TV credits continue to grow having just appeared on the Tonight Show, starred in the Roast of Jeff Foxworthy, a created a new show for the WB called Mobile Home Disaster.

 

He's in a Bit of a Quandary
There are only a handful of comedians that we refer to as ‘good friends of the show,’ but it’s hard to find a guy more deserving of this title than Drew Hastings. One of our favorite and most frequent visitors, it’s never a boring morning when Drew stops by. Whether he’s telling us about his life on the farm or arriving dressed in the latest in metrosexual fashion he never fails to give us more material to hold against him. Currently Drew is working on expanding his one-man show “Life & Other Short Stories,” and creating a mockumentary based on his alter ego, Jack Freeman. Drew will be performing in Eugene, OR on Friday and Boise, ID on Saturday with the  "Friends of the Show," including Pat Godwin, Mike Birbiglia and Henry Phillips.


 

Scotch Guard
Comedian Ron White has a comedy style that is as subtle as a nine-car pileup on the freeway. His stories, which usually involve his love of adult beverages, or being kicked out of somewhere (with one usually leading to the other), laugh in the face of conventional comedy. White’s not one to shy away from stating his point of view. He's blunt, and may be bit obnoxious, but somehow he makes this work for him on stage. To describe him as a testosterone-laden, good ol' boy with a Texan point of view would be an understatement, but it would explain why he teamed up with Jeff Foxworthy, Bill Engvall and Larry the Cable Guy to form the Blue Collar Comedy Tour. Though the other three from that tour now star in the sketch comedy show Blue Collar TV, Ron will be starring in his very own variety program called The Ron White Show, which will air this Thursday on The WB.

 
Wolfgang Puck -
Master Chef

Wolfgang Puck was born in Austria and began his formal training as a chef at age 14. He left Europe in 1973 at the age of 24, having learned his craft as a classically trained French chef in the master kitchens of three-star French restaurants. His first position in the United States was as chef at the Indianapolis restaurant La Tour. He moved to Los Angeles in 1975 and became chef and part owner of Ma Maison. After the publication of his first cookbook, Modern French Cooking for the American Kitchen, Puck and Lazaroff opened Spago in West Hollywood in 1982. Over its 18 years, the original location of Spago earned accolades, including the prestigious Restaurant of the Year award from the James Beard Foundation in 1994. Over a span of 20 years, Puck and Lazaroff created 11 fine dining restaurants in Los Angeles, San Francisco, Las Vegas, Palo Alto and Maui and 61 casual dining and quick service restaurants nationwide in urban centers, airports and supermarkets. Beginning Jan. 2, consumers can buy a 10-ounce container of Wolfgang Puck gourmet latte at the store and heat it by pressing a button. No electricity. No batteries. No appliances.
 
Super Dave Cooperman
From his humble beginnings as a one-act playwright, Dave Cooperman (or ‘Coop’ as he prefers to be called) has set out to take the comedy world by storm. After working with comedy troops and on radio, Coop decided that he wanted to go solo and take his brand of physical, yet thought provoking comedy to the stage. The majority of his comedic inspiration comes from his interracial marriage, which he's featured discussing on the BOB&TOM album Odd Balls.

FACTOID – The plays Dave Cooperman wrote were based on stores by legendary author, Kurt Vonnegut, and are still being performed by high-schools and colleges throughout the US.
 

Back Home With Bedore
Even though we were lucky enough to have our good buddy Tim Bedore live in the studio with us last Friday, this week's all new episode of his popular editorial, Vague But True, will once again be broadcast from his house in Minnesota. The last time we talked to Tim, he told us about his experience on the golf course witnessing a "gang duck bang." Although this was an interesting story on its own, he was able to take it one step further and use it to demonstrate the differences between men and women when it comes to having sex.. Whether the inspiration for his editorials is ripped from the headlines or based on his outlandish fantasies, you know Bedore will be up and ready to report a new one every Wednesday.

 
 

Don't Look Now, It's Rodney Carrington
If you don’t watch TV or regularly listen to the BOB&TOM Show, then chances are you haven’t heard that good friend of the show Rodney Carrington has is own sitcom, Rodney. For everyone else, this is old news. And though Rodney’s now a big time TV star, he is still finding time to head out on the road and perform his standup comedy, which includes all the jokes and music he can’t get past the ABC censors. Along with making frequent stops to sold out arenas and theaters, Carrington is also popping up all over the place on TV to promote his show which has seen a steady climb in the ratings. Check out the season finale of Rodney this Tuesday on ABC.

FACTOID – Rodney got his first record deal after he was heard performing the song "Fred" on the BOB&TOM Show

 

Hits & Giggles
Tim Cavanagh is a man who can write a song about anything. What's even more impressive is that most of the time he can perform them in under a minute. Just check out his two most recent CD’s, The One Minute Song volumes 1 & 2 to see for yourself. In these tunes, Tim tackles topics ranging from having a house full of dead baboons to America's under appreciation of Columbus Day, and each one is accompanied by his often overlooked guitar stylings. Cavanagh has been featured on ten different B&T albums and is the man we turn to whenever we need a tribute to something obscure. Tim’s always a joy to have in the studio, even when he's not being backed up by the world famous Cavanettes, especially when he hosts Jeopardy for Dummies.

 

Bob Zany v2.0
The Zany Report is back and only the first round of the NBA playoffs could possibly compare to the excitement it brings. Bob Zany, legendary comedian and all around great guy, has confirmed that there is a possibility that this could be his greatest edition of the Zany Report ever! Though we're not going to bet the farm on this claim, as long as it's better than last week's Report, we'll be satisfied. Plus, let's not forget about America's favorite game show, "Fix the Joke Baby, Live!" where one lucky player will win Zany's popular comedy album, I Just Can't Win Baby, as well as a one year subscription to BOB&TOM's VIP.

 
 
Tim Northern
Standing a towering 6’3” and weighing in at over 200 pounds, you may be a little intimidated by Tim Northern when you first meet him. But once this gentle giant opens his mouth, you realize that the only thing you have to be worried about is laughing too hard. With an obscure sense of humor, Tim presents his standup comedy with an articulate, smart and deceptively witty style. For most performers, saying 'I love y'all' to the crowd is just another line to get a cheap pop, but spend any time listening to Northern speak and you discover he's sincere. Tim’s a regular performer on the national comedy club circuit and was chosen to appear on CBS's Star Search where he advanced to the finals.
 
 

 

 

 

 


"Not all Asians are bad drivers, just the ones from Asia."
- Kivi Rogers

"All baseball players look like cops. I mean, would you buy drugs from one of those scruffy guys on the Red Sox?"
- Doug Stanhope

"I want to make enough money to become a black republican."
- Alonzo Bodden

"My mother always touched me like I had something sticky on my shirt."
- Drew Hastings on his mother's loving nature

"My wife and I are very different. She's a perfectionist, and I guess I'm a half-assist."
- Dave Cooperman

"I would drive 20 miles to see a frog explode. But I would drive 200 miles to see a monkey ride a dog."
- Chick McGee after hearing the story about the exploding frogs

"When you told me you were trying to be funny I thought you were serious."
- Bob Kevoian to Chick after telling a bad joke

"Kobe Bryant said he'd give $1000 to the Tsunami victims for every point he scored. How'd you like to be the guy playing defense on him that night."
- Auggie Smith

"If you only had to declare when you were funny, we've had some comedians come through here who could be considered tax-free."
- Auggie Smith

"If there is anyone who doesn't need extra prayers to get into heaven, it's the Pope. Save your prayers fore someone on the bubble like me."
- Tim Bedore

"I know I'm getting older because I want to build a deck."
- Dwight Slade

"My last confession was so bad that my pennance was to find a cure for cancer."
- Wild Bill Bauer

"When a woman says 'underwear' instead of 'panties' it makes you think she's also using a tampon the size of a lifebelt."
- Tom Griswold

"I'm 40 and don't know if I want to get married anymore. I just want someone to throw me a shower."
- Tracy Smith

"Hey, you wanna go make your parents proud."
- "Donny Baker" on his move

"To me, the E! network answers questions that you were never going to ask... like how was Full House made."
- Mike Birbiglia

"I have a loving family, make ends meet, but three out of five days I drive home sobbing."
- Chick McGee on Tom being mean to him

"Whatever happened to pretty flight attendants?"
- Chick McGee on Travel

"Aren't those people falafel crazy?"
- Jim Holder on what Iraqi's buy at bakeries.

"What's Dr. Phil's son going to do to follow in his footsteps, suck money off a rich black woman and start his own TV show?"
- Bob Kevoian

"People in Canada are still drinking as much, it's just that now they are watching JAG."
- Ian Bagg on the effect of no NHL in Canada

"I'm actually part Kennedy, which is why I've got the full head of hair."
- Pat Godwin on the validity of his song 'Mom's Little Secret'

"You can tell the Pope doesn't have a wife because she would have never let him leave the house wearing that hat."
- Tom Griswold

"Some people at the reception didn't seem to get the comedy that is The Chickster."
- Chick McGee on his R-rated performance at Bob's Wedding

"I don't usually act my height."
- Drew Hastings

"I could run from my brothers when they tried to beat me up, but they could never outrun my mouth. Which is probably why I'm still single today."
- Tammy Pescatelli

"Nothing says 'Happy Birthday Jesus' like the Vegas Strip."
- Mark Sweeney on spending Christmas in Vegas.

"What you hear in your head and what all the rest of us hear are two totally different things."
- Bob Kevoian to Chick after performing an impression

"Most people who get the crap beat out of them deserved it."
- Tom Griswold

"Michael Jackson is dressed like both The Captain and Tannille."
- George Lopez after testifying at Jacko's trial

"If I'm missing out on the finer things of life, that means I'm just waiting to die. So while I'm waiting, I'm having a big glass of scotch."
- Ron White

"I'm the Nostradamus of nicotine."
- Bob Kevoian on predicting that eventually you wouldn't be able to smoke in public

"Never say Robin Williams and writing in the same sentence. Robin does cover versions of other peoples jokes."
- Bill Scheft

"At the heart break hotel, you check in at the counter, but you check out at the toilet."
- Floyd Tucker

"Comedian Joel Lindley has serial killer strength."
- Chick McGee

"Well I hope you're happy, you've ruined Christmas."
- Mark Gross reliving what a lady told him at his worst gig ever.

"Have a seat, John, because coffee's for closers."
- Chick McGee to a caller that 'sealed the deal' after mentioning the BOB&TOM Show on a first date

"It doesn't matter what I do in my career, one of the things I care about most is being quoted on bobandtom.com"
- Frank Caliendo

"Don't cry. You look fat when you cry."
- Pete Lee on how he gets his girlfriend to stop being upset with him.

"I grew up pretty nonreligious, thank god."
- John Evans

"I've been trying to read more, but I've found out that I'm illiterate."
- Tim Northern

"I had my ex-wife air-brushed on my windshield so that it looks like I'm running her monkey-ass over."
- Geoff Brown

"I haven't been working out a lot lately, but I've been making up for it by eating a lot of cake."
- Greg Hahn

"I guess the NHL season is going to start when hell freezes over."
- Bob Kevoian