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w w w . b o b a n d t o m . c o m           

May 14 - 18, 2007

Comedy's
Biggest Critic

Andy Kindler is a legend among comedians for being one of the bravest men in the industry. Because, while many others write jokes about relationships, airlines, bathroom habits or even pop culture, Andy enjoys talking about a topic that has long been taboo, the profession of standup comedy. For example, not only does Kindler give a humorous dissertation on “The State of the Industry” at the world famous Just For Laughs Comedy Festival in Montreal each year, he's also the author of the National Lampoon article,
The Hack’s Handbook, which is a satirical how-to guide for up and coming comics. When not analyzing the joke business, Andy is a regular contributor to the Late Show with David Letterman as well as The Daily Show and was also a recurring character on the hit sitcom, Everybody Loves Raymond.
 
Rated "R" For "Respectful"
With his clean, yet controversial material, Vince Morris doesn't rely on vulgarity or profanity to get audiences to laugh, he doesn't need to because he speaks from the heart. With a bright observational humor and a smooth charismatic style, Vince has learned how to get in peoples faces and make them laugh at the same time. Covering everything from hip-hop to self-respect, Vince has been featured on
Showtime at the Apollo, The Late Late Show, Comedy Central's Premium Blend, Comic View and Sex and the City.
 

The Born-Again Bachelor
Over the years, comedian Mark Knope has been through a lot. From being carried home from the hospital upside down as a baby, to becoming a “born-again bachelor” after his wife walked out, Mark has had enough emotionally draining experiences to fill three or four comedy sets. After nearly two decades as a comic, Knope has performed his shtick in front of audiences of all size and in every type of venue imaginable including cruise ships, comedy clubs, and even broom closets. On stage, Knope uses sound effects, funny stories, and everything else in his bag of tricks to involve and endear himself to any in attendance.

A Civil Engineer
Former civil engineer Jeff Caldwell is known to people far and wide as a clean, clever comedian with one of the brightest standup acts around. From the daily news to the daily grind, Caldwell covers a variety of subjects with a dry delivery and sharp wit. It doesn’t matter whether he’s on stage, at a corporate gig or on television, Caldwell has the ability to bring audiences to tears, and we mean that in the good way. He’s recently been seen on The Late Show with David Letterman, The Late Late Show and Comedy Central’s Live at Gotham. He can also be heard as a guest on a number of national news and political radio shows.

FACTOID - Jeff Caldwell was the featured performer at last year's BOB&TOM Christmas party.
 

Rory Scovel
Rory Scovel’s spontaneous creativity and unique voice on stage are quickly making him a must see comedian. Not satisfied with the status quo, Rory challenges some of our basic conventions with a passionate and intelligent perspective. Rory’s performance is driven by his desire to express his ideas about everyday topics in a unique and interesting way. His unwillingness to compromise his personal opinions is what sets Rory apart from so many others. After only twoyears of working on his craft, Rory has already made a name for himself as one of the best comedians in the country. His infectious stage presence and engaging performance style have led to his meteoric rise through the comedy ranks. >>> Rory's website

 

Auggie's Got Something to Say
The ranting, raving comedian from Montana, Auggie Smith is heading back to the studio and you'd better believe he's entering the studio with his guns blazing. From the first moment we met Auggie, he became one of our favorite young comedians, and his comedy pieces on drinking, Bed Bath & Beyond and leading a religious cult have become show classics. Because Aug finds his material in the absurdities of everyday people, situations and politics, he's never had a problem finding new targets on which to take aim . Be warned, if you listen to Smith's ranting long enough, you too will find yourself following "The Word of Aug." But is that really such a bad thing? Auggie has appeared on two previous B&T albums including Happy Hour, on which he talks about the time he had to drive his dad home from the bar when he was only 9 years old.

 

The Business of Comedy
While trying to put himself through Colgate University, a young Mark Klein figured out that the best way to earn a supplemental income was to perform standup comedy in his spare time. Little did he know this part time job would blossom into a full-fledged career. Mark knew from the beginning that he was going to have to rely on his business sense and work ethic in order to become a successful comic because that English major wasn't going to do him much good. His first executive decision came when he decided to take his fast speaking, easy to follow, pro business comedy to the folks who could most appreciate it; business people. Klein began spending the majority of his time working large cooperate functions entertaining CEO's and other white collar types, but he still finds the time to play the occasional comedy club and nationally syndicated morning show.

 

Let Geechy
Be Your Guide

Most standup comedians are well-traveled, but Geechy Guy is taking things to a whole new level. Back in January, Geechy kicked off his "Every Station in the Nation" tour of BOB&TOM Show affiliate stations. This means if you're listening to BOB&TOM on the radio, this crazy Guy is headed to your town. Though Geechy knows where he’s going, he doesn’t always know when he'll get there, so make sure to keep checking back here for our up to the minute list of tour dates. We’ll also keep a running tab of all the places Geechy's already been, because we know some of you really enjoy looking at stuff like that.

 

The Paul Before the Storm
Paul Sabourin and Greg "Storm" DiCostanzo were once members of the enormously popular comedy quartet, Da Vinci’s Notebook, but having struck out on their own, they're now known as the dynamic Paul & Storm. While the band's name really isn’t all that clever (and is often confused with Pollen Storm), their music and material most certainly is. Not only have they landed a number of tracks on BOB&TOM albums such as A Better Version of You, Strip Club Daddy and More Than Two, they also have a weekly feature in which they sing about current news headlines called News to Us. Coincidently, they're newest album is also named News to Us, and contains many of their favorite songs from that segment.

 

Winning Friends
With Tales of Failure

Jeremy Essig decided that after he graduated from Wake Forest University in 2000 that his time would be better spent performing at open mic nights than it would be attending graduate school. And considering that none of those fancy classes would have helped him become a headline act in a comedy club, he obviously made the right choice. Since taking to the stage, Essig has developed an act that incorporates his thoughts on current events, music and religion, along with plenty of stories of his own personal failures. And from what we hear, that well isn’t running dry any time soon.

 

Fun With Sound Effects
Whether he's in the studio, on the phone, or on his special ISDN line live from his home, comedian Tim Bedore joins BOB&TOM every Wednesday to bring us a new edition of his popular weekly feature, Vague But True. In these musings, Tim talks about whatever is on his mind at the time, whether that be politics, life lessons, or stories on how animals are trying to wipe out the human race. But no matter the topic, folks all over the country are glued to their radios waiting to hear what Bedore has to say, and what sound effects he'll play. And if you happen to be one of those people, here's some good news, Tim's most popular pieces from the last few years have been compiled into a spectacular two-CD set, Vague But True, which is available now!

 

A Rhea of Sunshine
Over the past few years, Caroline Rhea has become a television staple. She’s starred in the teen comedy Sabrina the Teenage Witch, hosted her own talk show, was featured on Hollywood Squares and helped America get back into shape on The Biggest Loser. But what many people don’t know is that this versatile TV veteran is also a highly acclaimed standup comedienne. Though Caroline will eventually return to television, she’s decided to take time away from the small screen in order to get back to her comedy club roots. Oh, and she also recently filmed a One Night Stand comedy special for HBO. This will be our first time visiting with Caroline's since she and her boyfriend , fellow comedian Costaki Economopoulos, joined us in the Bahamas last February.

 

Let's Go to the Phones Bay-Bee!
It’s time again for everyone’s favorite weekly feature, The Zany Report starring comedy legend Bob Zany. In case you’re new to the show or are unfamiliar with the concept of The Zany Report, we’ll explain how it works. Every Tuesday, Bob Zany calls in to deliver a handful of jokes based on current events and comical news stories. Though his intention is to present a report that is hilarious from top to bottom, it doesn’t always work out this way. Of course as good hosts, BOB&TOM are always kind enough to point out which of his jokes came up a little short in the laughs department. This is where you the listener can join in the fun because Zany then invites a lucky fan to call in and fix one of his flat punch lines in a little game he calls Fix-The-Joke Baby!

 

The Return of Dark Ozzy
Before Ozzy Osbourne became a reality TV superstar, he was one of the biggest names in Rock and Roll. From his work with Black Sabbath to the formation of his yearly summer tour OZZfest, this Grammy Award winning legend has exemplified the darker side of rock for nearly 40 years. It’s this “Prince of Darkness” image that Ozzy is looking to bring back with his album, Black Rain. This solo project contains his first new studio work in over six years, featuring 10 all new tracks. And if you plan on attending this year’s OZZfest, you’d better pick up a copy soon, because Ozzy will once again be headlining the tour this summer.

FACTOID – “The Osbournes” is still the highest rated series in MTV history.

FACTOID – Ozzy Osbourne was inducted into the US Rock and Roll Hall of Fame as a member of Black Sabbath in 2006 and into the UK Music Hall of Fame in 2005.

 

The Facts
(or Fiction) of Life
Emmy nominated humorist and political satirist Tom Ruprecht is a writer for The Late Show with David Letterman, the New York Times, the Wall Street Journal and GQ can now out biographer to resume, well, sort of. In his new book, George Bush: An Unauthorized Oral History, Ruprecht retells the life of our 43 President while taking a few liberties with the facts. Sure, the stories may not be real, the quotes may be false, and the entire work may be more fiction than fact, but that doesn’t mean it’s not a laugh out loud read. It’s the perfect book for those who prefer their writing a little left of center.

 

Little Known History Tidbits
In the world of the BOB&TOM Show, Scott Dunn has become famous for his celebrity roasts and the ability to turn any event in history, no matter how obscure, into a comedy routine. So far he's skewered George Washington, Jesus, Frankenstein, Buddha, the first Thanksgiving, and even the funeral of Abraham Lincoln. We've enjoyed these bits so much whenever Scott has dropped by, that B&T decided to make it a regular feature. We never know going on who or what the the roast will be about, but we do know it's going to be funny. It's not just comedy, it's infotainment.

FACTOID - Scott Dunn is also the author of two novels, The Big Cookie and Through the Turn

 

Making the Grade
Do you think you know a lot about sports? How About News? Even if you answered 'no' to both, Dan St. Paul still thinks he's got the perfect feature for you. In his weekly News and Sports Quiz, Dan (the man made famous by his First Baseball Game bit) gives our audience a pop-quiz based on what's going on in the world of current events. If you think you've got what it takes to get a passing grade, grab a #2 pencil and some paper and see if you're smarter than the cast of the BOB&TOM Show. Take the quiz!

 

 

 

 

 

"When you're proposing to your girl, never use the phrase 'worst case scenario.'"
- Andy Kindler

"I'm representing the skull."
- Auggie Smith on embracing his bald look

"I see people all the time with hideous growths on their heads."
- Tom Griswold on the story about the old women who grew a horn.

"I don't know what Cooter-Man's power is, but he smells just like Aquaman."
- Chick McGee on the show's new Super Hero creation

"I saw my bra laying on the floor the other day and thought it just looked tired. Like it had given up."
- Caroline Rhea

"President Bush hosted a dinner to honor the Queen of England. To impress his guest, he learned a few phrases in English."
- Bob Zany

"My books have more bad marriages in them than the green room of the Dr. Phil show."
- Bill Scheft

"You bring the condom, I'll bring something to putin it."
- Auggie Smith on dating

"in all the years I've done radio, nobody has ever asked me what Drew Barrymore smelled like."
- Blake Clark to Chick McGee

"I don't know if I want to die, but it wouldn't be the end of the world for me."
- Nick Griffin

"In my twenties, if there was something in bed with me, I was rubbing against it."
- Bob Kevoian on Men and Women in bed

"It's not that I have too many in my pocket, I really want you to take the mint."
- Mike Marino on people with bad breath

"You think regular crabs are bad, you should see them scramble when you heat 'em up."
- "Floyd Tucker" on genital lice and heating pads

"When strip clubs start taking credit cards it'll be the old swipe and wipe."
- Tom Griswold

"What is it about drinking that makes the adam's apples on transvestites disappear."
- Pete Johansson

"Men like women with raspy voices because they think they're done yelling."
- Moody McCarthy

"A loveless marriage means single. Look it up."
- Paul Mecurio

"Smokers, we're a dying breed."
- Bob Kevoian

"If you can rule it a suicide, you're going to lunch early."
- Mike Armstrong on the difference between real cops and cops on TV

"If a stripper can't take a little hot wax in the eye, she shouldn't be a stripper anyways."
- Donnie Baker on Strippers at Car Washes

"Today might be the day I cry on the air."
- Chick McGee

"Some people love rolling around in that fleshy Jell-o."
- Bob Kevoian on guys who enjoy heavy honeys

"I don't like chocolate on my cod."
- Tom Griswold on mixing sex and food.

"I fight like sandpaper. I may be skinny, but I'll scratch the hell out of you. I'm also a heavy bleeder."
- James P. Connolly

"Chick's dig guys with confidence. At least I think they do."
- James P. Connolly

"This guy came up and called me a righteous piece of poon. And this was after he offered me a free windshield repair."
- Andi Smith

"I tend to enjoy a complete physical more if it's done on a Saturday night."
- James Gregory

"Going to the doctor is just one uncomfortably position after another. It's a lot like being in college."
- Patti Vasquez

"I bet when you were a baby you were all mustache."
- Chick McGee to Bob

"You'd better get her a Valentine's day present if you ever want to hit that again."
- Paul Mecurio to Sean Morey on buying his woman a gift

"I get paid to be insulted by you, our guests don't."
- Kristi Lee to Tommy G.

"You know it's getting bad when you're with someone and you want to put your shirt on before your underwear."
- Dan Kaufman on getting older and out of shape

"Chick you couldn't handle a talking pussy."
- Caroline Rhea on the talking cat from her show, Sabrina the Teenage Witch

"I don't wear sweaters. There is nothing interesting about them."
- Tom Griswold

"I bet you'd make a lovely woman."
- Chick McGee to Tom Griswold

"I'm a character actor, which is a polite way of saying 'ugly.'"
- Jim Gaffigan

"I like Canada, because any country that has it's own bacon has to be a special place."
- Jim Gaffigan

"The worst thing ever created was the omelet buffet bar."
- Tom Griswold

"I'm still married to my wife because neither one of us want custody of the kids"
- Marc Yaffee

"She likes to be known as the 'Larry King' of menstruation."
- Bob Kevoian on tampons attached to suspenders

"I don't expect you to look good every day, just try to string a few days together. You don't have to be Cal Ripkin Jr. but see if you can get a streak going."
- John Evans to his wife

"They can't sell you a gun while you're crying."
- Lord Carrett on divorce

"If you've never been to a Waffle House, picture a men's restroom that sells pancakes."
-Jim Gaffigan