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w w w . b o b a n d t o m . c o m           

May 15 - 19 2006

 

Barnhart and Soul
Standup comedian Don Barnhart was one of the first ever graduates of the Second City Conservatory in Los Angeles. Since earning his diploma (we're assuming you you do in fact get a diploma), he’s built a career touring the world, headlining comedy clubs over 200 nights a year and dispensing his brand of physical facial expressions, witty, off-the-wall observations and upbeat, fast paced, improvisational comedy. In addition to his work on stage, Barnhart is also an accomplished actor and director. Along with a couple of national commercial spots, Barnhart recently wrote, starred and directed the movie China Dolls. He's also been seen in the films Species, In the Army Now and Apollo 13.

 

Carlos Mencia: On Tour
One of the most popular comedians in the country, Carlos Mencia may no longer be just a club act, but that's not stopping him from hitting the road on a huge 50 city standup comedy tour. Now, for the past Carlos has been visiting people's living rooms nationwide on a weekly basis with his new Comedy Central series, The Mind of Mencia, which features the observational comedian's commentary on current events, man-on-the-street films, commercial parodies and audience interaction. But now he's going to be heading to your town, and if you want tickets, you'd better order them when they go on sale at the end of the week. Keep checking his website for details and schedules of upcoming shows.

 

The A Cappella Comedian
From school plays to dinner theater to guidance counseling, it has been a long and winding road for Ron Feingold to end up in stand-up comedy. He knew he loved to perform on stage and sing since the age of 10, but it was only after performing straight standup for five years that he decided to incorporate those two loves into his act. Now he’s known as the A Cappella comedian, because, well, he does comedy and sings a cappella while on stage. Ron not only shares his act with live audiences, he’s also released a few recordings of his singing, the newest of which is his CD, Solo Project.

 

Hit 'em With Your Flute, Greg
From the moment Greg Warren dubbed himself "Flute-Man Greg," we knew he was destined to become one of our favorite young comedians. He first charmed us with stories about dads who hunt for bigfoot and the oddities surrounding his five or six uncles. But he really earned a place in BOB&TOM history when he broke out his bit on playing the clarinet, or as his buddy called it, a flute. Not only did this piece add the phrase "hit 'em with your flute" to our vocabulary, it has also caused anyone with the name Nick to be forever referred to as "No Neck Nick." Greg soon found himself on the B&T album Odd Balls, as a member of the Friends of the BOB&TOM Show Comedy Tour, and as a feature act in the huge BOB&TOM Comedy Special which will air on Comedy Central later this year. With all this success, Greg might not have to go back home and coach high school wrestling any time soon.

 

Those Girls Are Hot. We're Surprised He Hasn't Mentioned Them Before
Comedian Mike Birbiglia is constantly on the road (which would explain why he has a giant bus), and during his travels he enjoys taking notes and recording his thoughts for a feature known as Mike Birbiglia's Secret Public Journal. The legions of adoring fans who have signed up for his newsletter get these entries e-mailed to them on a regular basis, but out of respect for those who haven't joined, we've asked him to occasionally call in and share his writings over the phone. Speaking of his adoring fans, two of them have become famous for their chests, and by that we mean the shirts they wore that proudly displayed the name 'Birbiglia' in big bold type. Mike finally got the chance to meet these two lovely ladies (pictured above) for the first time when he traveled back to Albuquerque, NM to perform on one of the last stops of the Friends of the BOB&TOM Show Comedy Tour

 

Hall of Fame Pitcher and Pitch Man
Even though Hall of Fame pitcher Jim Palmer is a great athlete, he still struggles with something that affects over half of American adults, high cholesterol. That’s why he’s teamed up with Men’s Health Network and Merck/Schering Plough Pharmaceuticals to launch Strike Out High Cholesterol, a program that will tour Minor League baseball parks across the country during this summer’s baseball season to raise awareness about high cholesterol and its two sources, food and family. Before battling high cholesterol, Palmer was a championship pitcher for the Baltimore Orioles for many years including their six World Series seasons. During his career, Palmer was a six-time All-Star, three-time Cy Young Award winner and four-time Gold Glove winner. He was inducted into the Hall of Fame in 1990.

FACTOID - Jim Palmer is the only pitcher to win World Series games in three decades, as he earned victories for the Orioles in the 1966, 1970, 1971 and 1983 Fall Classics.

 

The Leading Lady of Racing
NASCAR may still be the home of the “Good Ol’ Boys,” but when you talk about the Leading Lady of Racing, you’d better turn your attention to the IRL. And what better time to do so than in the month of May with the world famous Indianapolis 500 rapidly approaching. For the past two years, IRL driver Danica Patrick has been the face, fan favorite and media darling of the series. With awesome driving skills and good looks to match, Danica’s become a top draw and biggest story to hit Indy Car Racing in quite some time. In her rookie season, Danica not only earned four poles, she also became the first woman ever to lead the Indy 500 (for 19 laps), the fastest woman qualifier of all time, and the first woman to finish in the top five. Though only in her second season, the lovely Danica is still looking for her first IRL victory. There’s no doubt in our minds that she’d like nothing more than to take her first checkered flag at the “Greatest Spectacle in Racing.”

 

The Animal Conspiracy Continues...
It's been a long time since we last visited with comedian Tim Bedore (well, seven days to be exact) which is why we're so eager to have him back on his special line ready to deliver another exciting edition of Vague But True. Live from his home in Minnesota where he's seated comfortably at mission control, Tim shares his thoughts on life, society, politics and his day to day activities, presented in the form of in-depth, entertaining editorials. Over the past year, these musings have helped us learn a lot about Bedore, including his thoughts on downloading movies, how woman are the cause of wars, his views on people with names like 'Dick Little' and his theory on how animals are trying to wipe out our species.

 

Carlos Mencia: On Tour
One of the most popular comedians in the country, Carlos Mencia may no longer be just a club act, but that's not stopping him from hitting the road on a huge 50 city standup comedy tour. Now, for the past Carlos has been visiting people's living rooms nationwide on a weekly basis with his new Comedy Central series, The Mind of Mencia, which features the observational comedian's commentary on current events, man-on-the-street films, commercial parodies and audience interaction. But now he's going to be heading to your town, and if you want tickets, you'd better order them when they go on sale at the end of the week. Keep checking his website for details and schedules of upcoming shows.

 

A Name
You Won't Forget

With a name like Stankos, he’s gotta be good. Originally from Chicago, Stan Stankos left for New York to develop his stand-up comedy. Now, with his finely tuned act consisting of quick, clean and clever topical jokes, Stan tours the country, performing in a new citry every week. If you check his schedule and see he’s not due back in your town for a few months, don’t fret. You can buy both of his live comedy albums, Stosh and Monkeyrodeo, on his website.

 

He Has No Fight
With You People

There are only a handful of comedians that we refer to as ‘good friends of the show,’ but it’s hard to find a guy more deserving of this title than Drew Hastings. One of our favorite and most frequent visitors, it’s never a boring morning when Drew stops by. Whether he’s telling us about his life on the farm or arriving dressed in the latest in metrosexual fashion he never fails to give us more material to hold against him. Currently Drew is working on expanding his one-man show “Life & Other Short Stories,” and creating a mockumentary based on his alter ego, Success Guru Jack Freeman. Drew also recently took part in the huge BOB&TOM Comedy show that will be aired on Comedy Central later this year.

 

High Five, Myself,
No Friends

When comedian Greg Hahn takes the stage, he does so with an energetic, all-out style of physical humor, one-liners and crowd work live you've never seen before. And once he get's going there's no stopping it because he doesn't have time for laughs, he's out to create immediate pandemonium and panic. Hahn can wear an audience out with his rapid-fire jokes leave them holding their sides, trying to catch their breath in no time. Though Hahn's resume includes numerous television appearances and headlining countless comedy clubs, his true calling may be as a speaker at corporate functions. Hahn is famous for stepping behind the podium during stuffy business events and pretending to be a guest speaker, only to launch into his bizarre antics. Needless to say, it takes everyone in attendance completely off guard.

FACTOID - The taping of the BOB&TOM Live Comedy Show for Comedy Central had to be delayed a few minutes after Greg Hahn's set so that the stage could be mopped up. We're guessing it was a mixture of sweat and non-alcoholic beer.

 

Look Who is Back
In the Studio
If it seems like comedian Roy Wood, Jr was just here, it's because he was. Roy joined us last Friday before Cheap Trick took over the studio, but that wasn't nearly enough quality time, so we're having him back, just a few short days later. For those of you who aren't familiar with Roy, he's not only a standup comedian, he's also a regular writer for a number of radio stations in the Birmingham, AL area, was a semi-finalist on Star Search and has become known for his mastery of the art of prank calls. In fact, Roy has released two prank call CD's over the years, My Momma Made Me Wear This and Confessions of a High School Bench Warmer. Roy made his first visit to the BOB&TOM Studio less than a year ago, however, he made such a good impression that he was asked to take part in the huge Friends of the BOB&TOM Show comedy special that will air on Comedy Central later this year.

 

Bad Cop Equals
Good Laughs

Comedian Mike Armstrong was such a bad cop, when he left the police force, three internal affairs officers had to be let go because there was no longer a need for their services. Whether he was pulling over motorists to warn them of speed traps down the road, monitoring birds with his radar gun or making U-Turns to avoid arriving on the scene of an accident, Armstrong personally helped strain police relations with the public without even trying. He may have struck fear in the hearts of everyone in town when he was working behind the badge, but now that he's a civilian and making a living on stage we all feel a whole lot safer. Mike just recently released a brand new comedy album, Comedy Police, which is available at the BOB&TOM webstore. You'll buy it if you know what's good for you.

FACTOID - Mike's wife has a twin sister. He claims that this means he knows exactly what his sister-in-law looks like naked.

 

Live In the
Studio, Bay-be

The lovable Bob Zany is set to deliver his eagerly anticipated Zany Report and we couldn't be more excited because he'll be doing it live in the studio. That's right, now he'll actually get to see BOB&TOM making fun of him instead of just having to listen to it over the phone. Unless of course he's prepared the biggest, funniest, most spectacular report of all time. And why not, he's had a full week to write it? But, if for some reason you aren’t exhausted from laughing when it’s all said and done, there's always BobZany.com where you can test your hand at punch line writing by playing Fix The Joke Baby. Pick up one of those "Salmon: The Other Pink Meat" T-shirts while you're at it.

 
 

Hits & Giggles
Tim Cavanagh is a man who can write a song about anything, which comes in very handy when he sits down to write a song. His topics range from having a house full of dead baboons to the heartwarming story of a one-armed archer, and each one is accompanied by his often under appreciated guitar stylings. Cavanagh has been featured on ten different B&T albums and is the man we turn to whenever we need a tribute to something obscure. His most recent example of this will premiere this Monday when he shares a new tune about the newly crowned 'World's Fastest Runner," Justin Gatlin.

 
 

On the Road
With Jack & Marge

Jack & Marge Leonard have been married for sixty years. Their son Mike is an author and contributor to NBC News. In an attempt to give his family the ultimate family reunion, he loaded three generations of Leonards into a pair of rented recreational vehicles and embarked on a cross-country road trip that is the inspiration for Mike's new book, The Ride of Our Lives. In the course of their humorous, often poignant cross-country tour, from the desert Southwest to the New England coastline, the Leonards reminisce about their loves, their losses, and their rich and heartwarming (and sometimes heartbreaking) lives, while encountering a veritable Greek chorus of roadside characters along the way. The home stretch finds the clan racing back to Chicago, hoping to catch the arrival of the next generation, Jack and Marge’s first great-grandchild. Through it all, Mike pieces together a century of family lore and lunacy and discovers surprising sides to his parents that allow him to see them in a whole new light.

 

 

 

 


"I would take it from you any way."
- A Caller asking Chick to sing 'Happy Birthday' to her

"I've been in a wreck in a parked car."
- Tom Griswold

" No, sweetheart, your nipples in the coffee."
- Bob Kevoian on being on a nude beach.

"How come it's always Jesus that people see in food. Why not your neighbor. Hey look, it's Ron!"
- Stan Stankos

"I'm fine boned with gazelle-like movements."
- Drew Hastings on his 'flitting' around

"My indian name is Running Tab."
-Mike Armstrong on his Indian heritage

" I asked my wife if she wanted to have a three-way. She said yes, but she wanted to know who the other two people would be."
- Geechy Guy

"I think you need to shut up now."
- Bob Kevoian to everyone

" I've done about 80 movies, although most of them starred Brian Bosworth. He couldn't stop Bo Jackson, but he can sure keep a buddy comedy from being funny."
- Tom Wilson

"I didn't know I was white trash until I met Tom."
- Kristi Lee

"Pete Rose, Jr. faces prison and house arrest for steroids distribution. By the way, he had only one request of the warden. He's asked to wear his dad's old number."
- "Larry King"

" Hot pockets come in packs of two so that there is one to eat and one to be in the freezer when you move."
- Jim Gaffigan

"You said 'penis' with your eyes."
- Chick McGee to Bob after calling him 'Needle Teeth'

"I bought one of those fake rocks you use to hide your house key. A burglar used it to break my window."
- Dwight York

"Doing this report is like hunting with Dick Cheney, eventually I know I'm going to get shot."
- Bob Zany

"Americans aren't afraid of Mexicans, Americans are afraid that Mexicans are turning America into Mexico."
- David Crowe on immigration

"For that old man, a jackpot is a bowel movement."
- Tom Griswold on the old man who hit it big in a Las Vegas casino

"Doing your own taxes is a lot like masturbation. You have to use your imagination and you pray you don't get caught."
- Rob Haney

"I am a very private person; I have an unlisted sleep number."
- Rob Haney on his Select Comfort bed

"From the bottom of my heart, you sicken me."
- Bob Zany to the cast after they all made fun of his Zany Report

"The reason there is a big "E" instead of a big "O" on the eye test chart is because if it were a big "O," women would lie about seeing it."
- John Alfrey answering Tom's question about why eye charts still use the big "E" on top

"If you can't put cheese on it, it's not worth eating."
- Bob Kevoian on his philosophy on food.

"When I first met Bob Barker I told him I used to run home from pre-school to watch him. Now people say that to me."
- Marc Summers on hosting Double Dare almost 20 years ago

"If I ever get to heaven, I'm going to find the hair angel and whip his ass."
- Tim Wilson on losing hair

"I don't trust a guy I can't sleep with."
-Tim Wilson trying to make some sort of point but not saying it very clearly.

"You don't want your bed to have a defense."
- Tom Griswold on having too many throw pillows on your bed