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w w w . b o b a n d t o m . c o m           

May 21 - 25, 2007

All Grown Up
Sure he may look a little like an elf in this photo, but not long after it was taken, Greg Warren grew into a lean, mean, ass-kicking machine. At least, that's what he tells us. Better known to our audience as "Flute-Man Greg," Mr. Warren first charmed us with stories about kids who have dads that hunt for bigfoot and the odd behaviors of his three or forty uncles. But he really cemented his place in BOB&TOM history when he broke out his bit on playing the clarinet, or as his buddy called it, a flute. Not only did this piece add the phrase "hit 'em with your flute" to our vocabulary, it has also caused anyone with the name Nick to be forever referred to as "No Neck Nick." Greg is also a former state champion in wrestling, has a cauliflower ear, and will be featured on the next edition of the BOB&TOM Comedy Tour on Comedy Central.

 

Feel the Byrne
There have been a handful of great Irish comedians, there have been a number of very successful Asian comedians, but Steve Byrne is attempting to do something that as far as we know has never been done before, become the first great Irish-Asian comic. Heck, he might just be the first one, period. Steve has been making this dream come true by appearing on almost every major standup comedy outlet on television, including his top-rated special on Comedy Central. He also recently won the MySpace Standup or Sitdown Comedy Challenge that aired last year on TBS.

 

We Hear It's a Good Movie
Who says you have to see a movie in order to review it? Not Jay Forry, that’s for sure. That’s because Jay’s a film critic, but he hasn’t actually seen a single movie since he was 28-years-old. This isn’t to say that Jay hasn’t been to a theater since then, it’s just that he’s blind, and reviews movies using only his ears. Originally, Jay used this unique talent as a joke for a student newspaper, but it has since turned into a lucrative career. Theses days, Jay reviews new releases for radio stations and publications across the country, and for the most part, he’s able to follow film plots using only the dialogue (only occasionally having to ask his wife or son for help). So, not only is Jay the only blind movie critic we’ve ever heard of, he’s also the only one who doesn’t mind getting a front row seat or sitting behind a guy wearing an Abe Lincoln hat.

 

For Pete's Sake
For most people, warming up television studio audiences and hosting two shows on Sirius Radio might be enough to keep them busy, but somehow Pete Dominick still finds time to make a living as a traveling standup comedian. Even though he’s only been in the business for five years, Pete has become a favorite among college kids having performed at over 250 Universities. This past summer was a big one for Dominick as he not only landed a spot on the New Faces of Comedy show at the Just For Laugh’s Montreal Comedy Festival, he also got a gig on msn.com hosting a new talk show called “The Noiz”

 

Hard to Describe,
Easy to Love

Bizarre and demented are two adjectives normally reserved for mentally ill patients, but when you tack on sarcastic and hilarious, you’re probably talking about a standup comedian. One man who fits that description is Andy Hendrickson, whose act (which as been described as having a touch of cynicism mixed with a boy next door charm) has been entertaining audiences in comedy clubs everywhere. His original songs and comedic jabs have been broadcast on a variety of mediums including TV, satellite radio and even cellular phones.

 

It's Okay, He's Legal
While most 20-year-olds are either living at home with their parents or spending time trying to score in college, Taylor Williamson has chosen to take a different path, that of a standup comedian. He began his career at the tender age of 17, but now with three years of experience under his belt, this veteran of the road has already been featured in a number of magazines and has even made an appearance on The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson. Along with earning the right to purchase and consume alcohol, Taylor’s big summer also includes traveling and performing in clubs around the country as well as making his first stop by the BOB&TOM Show.

 

Back in Black
He's indignant, he's exasperated, he's "America's foremost commentator on everything," he's comedian Lewis Black and he'll be hosting Comedy Central's Live at Gotham this Friday. But Black is no stranger to Comedy Central viewers, his satirical, comedic commentary on the perils of everyday life, Back in Black, is one of the most popular segments on The Daily Show With Jon Stewart. Born and raised on the East Coast, Black attended Yale where he began a career as an actor and a playwright. He soon found himself on tour, working in theaters across the country. This would in turn lead him into standup comedy, where now he is one of the most sought after headliners working today. Black is also a regular on Late Night with Conan O'Brien and has been featured in a number of movies and TV shows.

FACTOID
- Lewis Black has authored over 40 plays that have been produced in theaters across the country, including "Czar of Rock and Roll" and "The Deal."

 

High Energy
Turned Up a Notch

When comedian Greg Hahn takes the stage, he does so with an energetic, all-out style of physical humor, one-liners and crowd work like you've never seen before. And once he lets loose, there's no stopping him because he doesn't have time for laughs, he's out to create immediate pandemonium and panic. Hahn can wear an audience out with his rapid-fire jokes and leave them holding their sides, trying to catch their breath. And while his resume includes numerous television appearances and headlining countless comedy clubs, his true calling may be as a speaker at corporate functions. Hahn is famous for stepping behind the podium during stuffy business events and pretending to be a guest speaker, only to take everyone in attendance off guard by launching into his bizarre antics.

 

Keeping Secrets
We love comedian Mike Birbiglia so much, that it has been almost unbearable to go as long as we have without hearing from him. Fortunately, that's about to end because we've set him up with a special ISDN line so now even when he's on the road, it'll sound like he's right here next to us. For those of you who don't know Mike, he is man of deep thoughts. He's a man who sleepwalks. But, he's also a traveling comedian (who occasionally gets into car accidents) which means he's not only on the road a lot, he's also got plenty of free time. Mix those three factors together and you end up with a little something he likes to call his Secret Public Journal. The legions of adoring fans who have signed up for his newsletter get his very secret yet very public writings e-mailed directly to them on a regular basis, but out of respect for those who haven't joined, Mike is taking his act directly to the people with his Sleepwalk Across America Tour.

 

Bedore vs. Beast
Since Tim Bedore's popular segment, Vague But True, has become a regular feature on the BOB&TOM show, certain topics seem to pop up on a regular basis. One of the most popular subject matters has been the secret war raging between man and beast which Tim has dubbed the "Animal Conspiracy." The first installment of this larger work appeared on the album B&T Camel Toe almost three years ago, but as the news stories keep adding up and listener e-mails keep rolling in, Tim has had no choice but to continue informing the masses about this ongoing battle. Will the crisis continue in this week's report? You'll just have to tune in to find out.

 

Fix-the-Joke, Bobby
It’s time again for everyone’s favorite weekly feature, The Zany Report starring comedy legend Bob Zany. In case you’re new to the show or are unfamiliar with the concept of The Zany Report, we’ll explain how it works. Every Tuesday, Bob Zany calls in to deliver a handful of jokes based on current events and comical news stories. Though his intention is to present a report that is hilarious from top to bottom, it doesn’t always work out this way. Of course as good hosts, BOB&TOM are always kind enough to point out which of his jokes came up a little short in the laughs department. This is where you the listener can join in the fun because Zany then invites one lucky fan to call in and play a little game he calls Fix-The-Joke Baby!

 

You Sound Familiar
You May recognize Frank Caliendo as a long time star of MAD TV, as the comic relief on FOX NFL Sunday, or even from his multiple appearances on The Late Show with David Letterman. Actually, on second though, maybe you don't. If his face doesn't look familiar, it's probably because Caliendo is a master impressionist who spends more time on screen portraying other people than he does as himself. Caliendo's impressive impressions include celebrities like Al Pacino, Jim Rome, Adam Sandler, Robin Williams, Ted Knight, Jeff Goldblum, and a John Madden so good you could swear it was the real thing. It's been awhile since Frank last visited us in the studio, so we're eager to catch up as well as find out who he's bringing with him.

JORDAN WARD illustration

 

Little Known History Tidbits
In the world of the BOB&TOM Show, Scott Dunn has become famous for his celebrity roasts and the ability to turn any event in history, no matter how obscure, into a comedy routine. So far he's skewered George Washington, Jesus, Frankenstein, Lewis & Clark, the first Thanksgiving, and even the funeral of Abraham Lincoln. We've enjoyed these bits so much that B&T decided to make it a regular feature. Now each Monday, Scott surprises us with a new history lesson in which you're guaranteed to laugh and might even learn a little something too.

FACTOID - Scott Dunn is also the author of two novels, The Big Cookie and Through the Turn

 

Making the Grade
Do you think you know a lot about sports? How About News? Even if you answered 'no' to both, Dan St. Paul still thinks he's got the perfect feature for you. In his weekly News and Sports Quiz, Dan (the man made famous by his First Baseball Game bit) gives our audience a pop-quiz based on what's going on in the world of current events. If you think you've got what it takes to get a passing grade, grab a #2 pencil and some paper and see if you're smarter than the cast of the BOB&TOM Show. Take the quiz!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"I am not going to Google 'Vagina.'"
- Kristi Lee

" If you want to know what you really look like, have a kid draw you. They will find what you're most self conscious about and exploit it."
- Pete Dominick

"When you're proposing to your girl, never use the phrase 'worst case scenario.'"
- Andy Kindler

"I'm representing the skull."
- Auggie Smith on embracing his bald look

"I see people all the time with hideous growths on their heads."
- Tom Griswold on the story about the old women who grew a horn.

"I don't know what Cooter-Man's power is, but he smells just like Aquaman."
- Chick McGee on the show's new Super Hero creation

"I saw my bra laying on the floor the other day and thought it just looked tired. Like it had given up."
- Caroline Rhea

"President Bush hosted a dinner to honor the Queen of England. To impress his guest, he learned a few phrases in English."
- Bob Zany

"My books have more bad marriages in them than the green room of the Dr. Phil show."
- Bill Scheft

"You bring the condom, I'll bring something to putin it."
- Auggie Smith on dating

"in all the years I've done radio, nobody has ever asked me what Drew Barrymore smelled like."
- Blake Clark to Chick McGee

"I don't know if I want to die, but it wouldn't be the end of the world for me."
- Nick Griffin

"In my twenties, if there was something in bed with me, I was rubbing against it."
- Bob Kevoian on Men and Women in bed

"It's not that I have too many in my pocket, I really want you to take the mint."
- Mike Marino on people with bad breath

"You think regular crabs are bad, you should see them scramble when you heat 'em up."
- "Floyd Tucker" on genital lice and heating pads

"When strip clubs start taking credit cards it'll be the old swipe and wipe."
- Tom Griswold

"What is it about drinking that makes the adam's apples on transvestites disappear."
- Pete Johansson

"Men like women with raspy voices because they think they're done yelling."
- Moody McCarthy

"A loveless marriage means single. Look it up."
- Paul Mecurio

"Smokers, we're a dying breed."
- Bob Kevoian

"If you can rule it a suicide, you're going to lunch early."
- Mike Armstrong on the difference between real cops and cops on TV

"If a stripper can't take a little hot wax in the eye, she shouldn't be a stripper anyways."
- Donnie Baker on Strippers at Car Washes

"Today might be the day I cry on the air."
- Chick McGee

"Some people love rolling around in that fleshy Jell-o."
- Bob Kevoian on guys who enjoy heavy honeys

"I don't like chocolate on my cod."
- Tom Griswold on mixing sex and food.

"I fight like sandpaper. I may be skinny, but I'll scratch the hell out of you. I'm also a heavy bleeder."
- James P. Connolly

"Chick's dig guys with confidence. At least I think they do."
- James P. Connolly

"This guy came up and called me a righteous piece of poon. And this was after he offered me a free windshield repair."
- Andi Smith

"I tend to enjoy a complete physical more if it's done on a Saturday night."
- James Gregory

"Going to the doctor is just one uncomfortably position after another. It's a lot like being in college."
- Patti Vasquez

"I bet when you were a baby you were all mustache."
- Chick McGee to Bob

"You'd better get her a Valentine's day present if you ever want to hit that again."
- Paul Mecurio to Sean Morey on buying his woman a gift

"I get paid to be insulted by you, our guests don't."
- Kristi Lee to Tommy G.

"You know it's getting bad when you're with someone and you want to put your shirt on before your underwear."
- Dan Kaufman on getting older and out of shape

"Chick you couldn't handle a talking pussy."
- Caroline Rhea on the talking cat from her show, Sabrina the Teenage Witch

"I don't wear sweaters. There is nothing interesting about them."
- Tom Griswold

"I bet you'd make a lovely woman."
- Chick McGee to Tom Griswold

"I'm a character actor, which is a polite way of saying 'ugly.'"
- Jim Gaffigan

"I like Canada, because any country that has it's own bacon has to be a special place."
- Jim Gaffigan

"The worst thing ever created was the omelet buffet bar."
- Tom Griswold

"I'm still married to my wife because neither one of us want custody of the kids"
- Marc Yaffee

"She likes to be known as the 'Larry King' of menstruation."
- Bob Kevoian on tampons attached to suspenders

"I don't expect you to look good every day, just try to string a few days together. You don't have to be Cal Ripkin Jr. but see if you can get a streak going."
- John Evans to his wife

"They can't sell you a gun while you're crying."
- Lord Carrett on divorce

"If you've never been to a Waffle House, picture a men's restroom that sells pancakes."
-Jim Gaffigan