June 7, 2002
We Love Jimmy Pardo
Just because you book a guest, doesn't mean they're required to stay. We found that out last time Jimmy Pardo joined the cast in the Bahamas, and he walked off the show. Bob & Tom had to promise him they wouldn't talk about his bombing on the tonight show anymore to get him to join the cast back on the dais. We all know it wasn't his fault, and that the lack of laughter was due to a dead crowd and being booked to follow a wacky science guy, but a bomb is a bomb and we are required to make fun. And even though both Bob and Chick say they're bringing their "I Hate Jimmy Pardo" bumper stickers in for him to sign, that's not true either. We all love Pardo... but he probably won't be invited to spend vacation with us anymore.

Nor would he want to travel with any of us after the abuse he took all day. Between Bob's (lovingly dubbed "Smokes" by Pardo) short jokes (Pardo stand 5'4"), Chick's feminine hand jokes, and Geoff Brown saying Jimmy would make a good Prison Bitch, he took a lot of abuse.

"I am used to Bob & Tom making fun of me, but you guys are normally on my side. I see it's a whole new game today." If you'd like to get in on the Jimmy Pardo bashing, buy a bumper sticker or write him an e-mail... he loves that.

June 7, 2002
Educating the Vanilla Guy
Comedian Geoff Brown is not only a well dressed man, he is also a very funny guy. Brown made regular guest appearances on BET's Comedy View, and HBO's Def Comedy Jam, so he's familiar with the African American way of life. So of course the Vanilla Guy, Tom Griswold had some questions for him about music, language, and anything else about what it's like not being the "Whitest white guy on the radio."

In other news, Brown is working on a new TV series for ABC titled, Gunny, in which he will play a marine with a bad back who is asked to instruct a band of new recruits. Brown denies Jimmy Pardo's claim that this is Welcome Back Kotter meets Major Dad, but instead says that it will be a really funny show.

Brown has toured with some big names in his day, such as Luther Vandross, Sinbad, D.L. Hughley and Anita Baker and he's been featured on a number of television standup specials. He was also nominated as the NACA entertainer of the year.

June 6, 2002
The Triumphant Return of
Our Favorite A Cappella "Man Band"
No longer just a one hit wonder on the Bob & Tom Show, Da Vinci’s Notebook has escaped the shadow of its Enormous Penis to become musical favorites of both the audience and cast. Each time they stop by, we're treated to future "most requested" tunes. With award winning songs like Alley McBeal and Liposuction already in their repertoire, DVN's new album, Brontosaurus is the a cappella “man band’s” third album release, can be purchased on their website.

According to the band, the title of their CD comes from an inside joke that found it's way into the show. They say that in the Fatboy Slim song Rockefella Skank, it sounds like someone is saying Brontosaurus. Yes, they know it's not really funny, but we asked, so they had to tell us.

June 6, 2002
Carl Lewis
Carl Lewis is clearly one of the greatest athletes of all time. When you look at his “track record” of success, it’s hard to dispute. He’s been named World Athlete of the Year 3 times (’82,’83,’84), World Athlete of the Decade during the 80’s, and even Olympic Athlete of the century. These titles shy in comparison to his 9 gold medals, the most recent coming in 1996. Lewis competed in five straight Olympic games, but has since retired.

"I've got eight of the gold medals physically with me, and the one silver, but my dad has the ninth one," says Lewis. "Right now just the family and I get to see them, but I want to put them in a place that more people get a chance to look at them."

No longer running for fun, he will be running for his life in the new TBS original film Atomic Twister in which Lewis plays Stu, a security guard at the nuclear plant that is being threatened by some big, nasty tornados. "I moved out to Hollywood in '99 and things have been going well. This is my first movie role, and I just finished working on another movie over seas," says Lewis. "On my website, I have clips of myself acting, so people can see I take this seriously. There are some clips where a play a bad guy, and people watch those and say 'what's going on? You are supposed to be a good guy'"

You can watch Olympic legend Carl Lewis run for his life in Atomic Twister when it premieres June 9th on TBS.

June 5, 2002
Bob's Hero
He's seen over 10,000 movies, but doesn't remember a single plot. Mr. Skin is the foremost expert on female nudity in films, and he's helping the world see the true meaning of a double feature.

Always looking to help his loyal following of fans, Mr. Skin has decided to take part in the Top 100 list trend, and has just released his "Top 100 Female Nude Scenes of All Time" list.

"I'm a little nervous about talking to you guys about this because of all the interviews I do, I have never met anyone who knows his nudity like Bob Kevoian," says Mr. Skin. He was right to be nervous, because Bob did know the list well, having seen nearly 80 of the listed feature films.
He even guessed the selection for #1 correctly, which just happens to be Phoebe Cates' topless pool scene in Fast Times at Rigemont High.

"People may say that certain scenes should be different places on the list, but no one has ever said that Phoebe shouldn't be #1."

So if you're looking for the right movie for this evening, or you're just tired of walking up and down the video aisles looking for your favorite actress in the buff? Check out Mr. Skin's Top 100 list and other titillating archived data at MrSkin.com.

June 5, 2002
Comedy Knock Out
Bob Nelson is a former Emmy Winning, Tonight Show veteran, stand up comic, Rodney Dangerfield protégé, who toured with Eddie Murphy Barlett under the title of the Identical Triplets. Nelson has been performing since 1978, and has since taken his shows to the biggest venues as well as the silver screen. His filmography includes credits in Kindergarten Cop, Brain Donors and This is My Life. Over the years, Bob's shows have given life to long suppressed multiple personalities of Nelson's own creation, such as Jiffy Jeff, the wacky boxer, Eppy Epperman, the lovable know-it-all nerd or Ping Yeh - the Oriental foil.

June 4, 2002
Daddies' Little Girls
W. Bruce Cameron is an expert on raising daughters. Why, you ask? Because he has raised two of his own, which is no easy feat, as anyone with a young teenage daughter knows. This can make your life a living hell when it comes to dealing with boyfriends, clothing, car mishaps and curfews... and Cameron has done it all. In his new book
8 Simple Rules for Dating My Teenage Daughter, Cameron decided to share his "expertise" with all his fellow fathers out there. He says that most of the rules probably won't work, but by reading them, you, like his own girls, can get a good laugh at his expense. Cameron is also the author of a nationally syndicated newspaper column found in journals across the country.

June 4, 2002
The Iron Man of Home Improvement
If you can surf your way through television stations and not find Bob Vila on one of them, you just did the impossible. The popular home repair guru is the star of multiple TV shows, and regularly appears on The Early Show. His on air career began back in the 70's hosting his own creation, This Old House, which is still seen in syndication today . After hosting that show for 10 years, Bob moved on to host other programs such as A&E' s three part series Guide to Historic Homes, HGTV's Restore American, and his nationally syndicated Home Again series which is now in it's 12th season. And if that's not enough of a Vila fix for you, on his website, you can order video's of his past shows, or just watch the tube for a while and you're bound to see a Sears' Craftsman commercial eventually.

June 3, 2002
Sir Charles
Charles Barkley can be considered to be the most free speaking future NBA Hall of Famer in the NBA. There isn't a topic that Charles won't share his opinion on, regardless of what others might think of it. This was showcased earlier this year in an article he wrote for Sports Illustrated when he said that the changing of the Masters Golf course in Augusta was done just to keep Tiger Woods from winning.

"I don't really believe that," laughs Barkley. "But I had to put something controversial in there to get people to read the article. I wanted to write about poor kids, and how we need to help them, but no body would read that unless I said something big in the article too. So I am happy with the way it turned out."

His outspoken ways might also be why he was chosen to speak out on the upcoming World Championship of Basketball, featuring teams from all over the world, including an all new "Dream Team" to represent the USA. Sir Charles (AKA the "Round Mound of Rebound) is a former member of the Philadelphia 76ers, Phoenix Suns, and Houston Rockets, two Olympic teams, as well as being named one of the NBA's 50 greatest players of al time. He say's unlike Michael Jordan though, he has no comeback in the future.

"An old body just can't keep up with these young kids," says Barkley. "They may be stupid, but they can still jump."

He isn't completely away from the game, his role has just changed. Sir Charles currently shares his thoughts on basketball as the outspoken analysts on TNT's coverage of NBA hoops along side Ernie Johnson and Kenny Smith. Even though he says the majority of the media are idiots, Barkley says that he loves doing the TV work, but it can be tough because players don't like to be criticized.

"One time I was this year I said that the Knicks were a bad team, and that they had the highest payroll in the league. A couple of the players came up to me and asked me why I would say something like that. I looked at them and said, you all are in last place. If I went on TV and said the Knicks are a good team, I would look like a stone cold idiot."

Aside from his television duties, Barkley spends his time playing golf, gambling, and trying to keep the boys away from his daughter. About golfing with Tiger Woods, Barkley says "He is all Mr. Nice Guy in public, but you get him on the course and he says stuff like "You see where they are putting up that new super K-mart, between my ball and yours."

On Gambling he says "Drinking isn't bad for you, but drinking a lot is. It's the same with gambling. Sometimes I win a lot, sometimes a lose a lot. Last weekend, I lost a whole lot. I called it the Memorial Day Massacre."

And on dating his teenage daughter Charles says, "I figure after I kill the first guy who tries to take my daughter out, the word will get around and they'll learn she's off limits."

June 3, 2002
Reading Rover's Mind
Ever wonder what your pets are thinking? The Animal Planet Network has found someone who can fill you in. Sonya Fitzpatrick is the Pet Psychic, a real life Dr. Doolittle. She claims to have been able to "speak" with animals telepathically since early childhood, and the her skills in animal communication have grown ever since. After speaking with Bob, Tom and the rest of today about there pets, they are all believers.

Just by looking at some pictures, Fitzpatrick was able to communicate telepathically with Tom's dogs Belcher and Figaro, as well as Chick's "Big Sweety," Mrs. Gibbs.

Chick's Big Sweety, Mrs. Gibbs says that she runs the house, but tells Chick that she wants a new doggy friend to play with.

"I was skeptical, but you have me convinced," said Tommy G. after Sonya correctly identified some of the recent events in the two retrievers lives, such as eating cheese, getting a new

dog bowl, and Belcher being the younger and more demanding of the two. It was even harder to dispute her claims of what Mrs. Gibbs was saying about Chick. Mrs. Gibbs asked Chick why he sits in the chair all the time and watches TV instead of walking her. She also said she wanted more popcorn and ice. The Chickster was astounded by the accuracy. Fitzpatrick's new show, The Pet Psychic, debuts on June 3rd on Animal Planet.