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w w w . b o b a n d t o m . c o m           

June 13 - 17 2005

Cease and Desist
Kyle Cease began his comedy career at age seven by negotiating a deal with his second grade teacher. If he would cease goofing off during class, she would give him five minutes at the end of class to entertain the students. Normally this type of behavior leads to a life of crime, in Kyle's case, it turned into a profession. At age 18 Kyle became the youngest headlining comedian in the Pacific Northwest, where he performed for numerous colleges, clubs and corporate events. He found out quickly that his humor appealed to more than second graders. At age 20, after winning the Giggles Comedy Competition and he landed his first movie role in the film 10 Things I Hate About You. This prompted Kyle to make the move to Hollywood where his comedy career began to soar, and his acting jobs increased by landing roles in several national commercials and as "the slow clapper" in the spoof comedy Not Another Teen Movie. He was also recently featured in Stuff Magazine.

 

Ralph Harris' Better Half, of the Rent
Steve Wilson is only 34 years old and yet he’s been performing standup comedy for 18 years. After doing the math, that means he’s been working since the age of 16. Of course, when you find out he was raised by eleven women, it’s easy to see why he wanted to get out of the house. Steve has been featured on BET, was chosen as the Funniest Man in New York in 1988 and has an unhealthy addiction to PlayStation, young girls and the Buffalo Bills.

FACTOID – Steve Wilson is the roommate of fellow comedian and good friend of the show Ralph Harris

 

Even If Your Dog's a Bitch, She Can Still Have a Great Personality
Dog expert and enthusiast Kathy Santo has a lot more advice to offer than her great frozen Kong ball recipes. She’s developed a fresh, innovative approach to canine training that customizes a regimen to each dog's personality traits. This unique approach is based on Santo's 20 years of studying the behaviors of “big sweeties,” and teaching basic and competitive dog training throughout the United States. Currently, she sees more than 100 dogs each week at her New Jersey facility where she helps owners address a wide range of issues, from "my dog is a picky eater” to the serious "how can I get my dog to stop biting?" If you’re a dog owner or lover and can’t make it up to NJ to attend her clinic, you’re now in luck because Santos has released DVDs and books that contain many of her teachings. In her newest book, Kathy Santo’s Dog Sense, she’ll help you determine your dog’s personality and the best way to train them based on that.

Side Note - Take this quiz to help you determine how similar you are to your big sweetie.

 

Child of the Fifties
Though comedian Robert Klein entered Alfred University as a pre-med student, he knew from the start that his true calling was actually a job in the entertainment industry. He first got the acting bug in college when he joined the acting company on campus, though it wasn’t until he became a part of the famous Second City comedy troupe in 1965 that his comedic abilities came to the forefront. After a year with Second City, Klein moved back to New York and began working as an actor on Broadway. At the same time, Klein began honing his standup comedy material and in 1973, he released his first of many comedy albums, Child of the Fifties, which earned him his first of many Grammy Award nomination. Over the years, Klein has become a successful actor/writer/composer, starring film, stage and television, writing music, and publishing books, like his new one, The Amorous Busboy of Decatur Avenue.

 

Would You Buy Insurance From This Guy?
Best known for his regular role on the hit television series King of Queens, standup comedian Gary Valentine doesn’t regret not going into the family insurance business instead of the entertainment industry. Gary got his big break when he was booked to headline one of the comedy’s most prestigious festivals, "Just For Laughs" in Montreal. Since then, Valentine has appeared on The Tonight Show with Jay Leno, The Late Late Show with Craig Kilborn, and Late Night with Conan O’Brien. He’s also starred in his own half-hour comedy special “Comedy Central Presents.” With a sharp wit and an ability to keep audiences wanting more, Gary has become a regular at comedy clubs and colleges across the country.

 

This Bug's For You
Unlike the weird kid from your elementary school class, New Zealand native Ruud Kleinpaste didn't get the nickname “The Bugman” by eating insects. He's just made a career out of studying them. This quirky entomologist became Animal Planet’s resident insect expert when he hosted the popular special The World’s Biggest Baddest Bugs. Due to the show’s popularity, Ruud was given his very own series, Buggin’ with Ruud, where The Bugman uncovers little-known secrets about the insect world and debugs myths about multi-legged creepy-crawly species to entertain and enlighten two-legged humans. Ruud will travel the world so he can get up close and personal with deadly spiders, hissing cockroaches and carnivorous caterpillars just to name a few. Buggin’ with Ruud premiers June 15th as part of Animal Planet’s new Wild Wednesdays.

 

Kind of Vague, But Probably True
Now that Tim Bedore's popular segment, Vague But True, has become a regular feature on the BOB&TOM show, we can't wait to find out what the topic of each new installment will be. In one of Tim's recent readings, he shared with us the college graduation speech he's got prepared if ever a University were to call on him to give one. Since that has yet to happen (and most likely never will), we've posted the text and audio of that great speech for your enjoyment. But looking forward, whether the inspiration for his latest VBT editorial is ripped from the headlines or based on his own personal tales, Tim will be sharing them on the B&T Show every week!

 

First Impressions
When we first met comedian Frank Caliendo all we knew was he was the guy that did the best John Madden impression ever. But to our surprise, Frank wasn't just a one voice wonder, he actually had more great impressions than any one comedian should be allowed to do. Each time Frank visits or calls us on the phone, he impresses us with a variety of celebrity impersonations including Al Pacino, Jeff Goldblum, Norm McDonald, Jim Rome and Ted Knight just to name a few. The scary part is that if you didn’t know any better, you’d think all those celebrities were actually in the studio. In addition to performing standup comedy, Caliendo can be seen on FOX’s sketch comedy show Mad TV and the NFL on FOX pre-game show.

Frank's Special Offer - As an exclusive Father's Day offer for bobandtom.com, Frank is selling his DVD and two CD's for the unbelievably low price of $19.99. Now you can get dad's gift and save money at the same time, just like the old man taught you. Click here

 

Crazy About Animals
Since early childhood, Jeff Corwin has been an animal nut. His work in helping the conservation of endangered species and ecosystems around the world has made him somewhat of a superstar in the animal community. Jeff is still working with animals but has moved his operations to the network made exclusively for critters, Animal Planet. Jeff, formerly the hose host the very popular program The Jeff Corwin Experience, is now heading up the brand new show, Corwin's Quest. On Quest, Jeff travels the world in search of creatures that take survival behaviors to the extreme; whether it’s an alligator in the Florida Everglades demonstrating his bone-rattling mating bellow or the African pachyderms attending Elephant College, where they’re trained to sniff out poachers. The series launches Animal Planet’s new destination night, Wild Wednesdays.

 

We're Very Excited
Comedian Bob Zany may not realize it by the way we treat him when he calls in, but he's our most eagerly anticipated guest each week. There are few comedians working today that have the guts it takes to come on a nationally syndicated radio show every week and perform all new material. Then to top it all off, he invites listeners to call in and fix his jokes that some have deemed 'virtually laugh free.' Sounds fun doesn't it? Catch The Zany Report every Tuesday so you too can play "Fix the Joke Baby" where the prize package includes CDs, t-shirts, and a BOB&TOM VIP membership.

 

Paddy G. In Da House
Not only is comedian Pat Godwin a fantastic songwriter and excellent guitarist with the uncanny ability to mimic the voice and style of almost any other artist you can name, he's also become a member of the family over the years. That's easy to see too, because Godwin has been a major part the past few BOB&TOM albums with multiple tracks including the now classic Gangsta Folk, The Legend of John Fox and C'est La Vie. However, even if you hear him perform one of these songs you know by heart, it's always a new experience because Pat rarely sings a song the same way twice. So pour a bowl of Lucky Charms and get your keg of Guinness ready as Pat Godwin helps us kick off another week of the BOB&TOM Show.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


"I like it because it's not funny."
- Marty the Boss at a recent lunch meeting discussing bit ideas

"When I'm raising my kids, I sometimes feel like I'm being initiated into a fraternity."
- Dave Dugan

"Have you ever watched a movie, then gotten into a fight with your wife about it afterward, then almost got a divorce? Me neither."
- Chick McGee

"There's nothing wrong with having sex while you're drunk."
- Bob Kevoian

"Sex, drugs and Rock n' Roll, that's what bugs are all about."
- Ruud the Bugman

"Is it a jackpot on the Barry Manilow slot machine when his face and two other fruits pop up."
- Bob Kevoian

"There are priest who have slept with more woman than you."
- Tom Griswold to Chick, who has only slept with people he's married

"I don't care if that stuff is made of kids from third world countries, it's good."
- Tom Griswold on the popcorn butter flavor at the movies

"This isn't a new show, it's just the same old crap."
- Bob Kevoian after Tom promised to start fresh after a break

"I'm a clown sloth, you know that."
- Chick McGee

"What has that done to you and how much is this going to cost me?"
- Tom Griswold to Chick after he was complaining abut never going to camp

"Squirrels are evil because they have thumbs."
- Chick McGee

"If you're in a coma do you where shoes?"
- Tom Griswold on coma fashion

"You show me a group of white people I can't laugh, and I'll show you Canadians."
- Tim Wilson

"What's the difference between a Kayak and a Canadian. A Kayak will tip."
- Chick McGee

"How come chicken tastes better when it's got a toothpick in it? I swear to god it does."
- "Donny Baker" on samples at the Food Court

"If OJ committed that murder, it must have been his first."
- Tim Wilson

"If NIKE came out with a shoe for chick, would it be the Air Potato."
- Bob Kevoian

"You cannot catch mad cow from a donut."
- Greg Hahn

"It doesn't matter what I'm talking to Tom about, I always end up feeling like dirt."
- Chick McGee

"Ladies, we love you and want to care about things like eyelash curlers., but we don't."
- Mike Green

"I was afraid to tell another joke because I thought it might lead into another one of Tom's stories."
- Bob Zany

"I think I should move seats before the lord tries to strike Chick down."
- Rodney Johnson after Chick make a blasphemous comment

"Why do every one one of my jokes end with me running away?"
- Dan Kaufman

"I'm the dustbuster of comedy. I can suck the laughs out of any joke."
- Jimmy Pardo

"I wanna label everyone."
- Chick McGee on acceptance of everyone and everything.

"Thank god for you Kristi, actually believing that theater of the mind."
- Jimmy Pardo on people actually wanting to buy his ill-fated show Funny Money on DVD

"I think tuxedos have been tainted by ushers at movie theaters."
- Tom Griswold

"The only thing keeping me alive is knowing that I wasn't breast fed."
- Chick McGee

"Pizza is way more popular than I will ever be."
- Mike Birbiglia

"The glory days of carrying a sword have passed."
- Kristi Lee on thee replacement of the sword as a primary weapon