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w w w . b o b a n d t o m . c o m           

July 10 - 14 2006

The Dwight Stuff
"Vile File" mastermind Dwight York isn't just a funny comic with a style and delivery all his own, he's also one of the best joke writers and a masters of misdirection you'll ever hear. York comes loaded with an endless arsenal of clever one-liners and short stories ranging from the innocent “They say gambling is a sin, but I’m betting god will forgive me,” to the slightly more bawdy “My last girlfriend was quite a catch. From her I got syphilis, gonorrhea and athlete's foot." Many of these jokes are as fun to read as they are to listen to which is why Dwight has compiled the best of the worst and put them in his book, The Vile File.

 

Fit as a Fiddle
Sam Bush won his first awards for playing the fiddle before he had even reached puberty, and that was just the beginning of what would become a successful career in music. Known as one of the founding members of the New Grass Revival, Sam Bush has been called a modern day Bill Monroe and is one of the main attractions at the annual Telluride Bluegrass Festival in Telluride, Colorado. Though he’s often found working alongside other legendary artists whenever they need a world-class fiddler, Bush has also released a number of hit solo albums, including his brand new project,
Laps in Seven.

 

Laugh Again with Gaffigan
Since releasing his new album, Beyond the Pale (which he believes to be the perfect gift for anyone at anytime) Jim Gaffigan has been a busy man. Not only is he taking part in a whirlwind tour across the country, he also co-created a new superhero team alongside 'sun-free' buddy Conan O'Brien called The Pale Force. The first three installments of their adventures appear on Jim's website, and more episodes will be airing on Late Night with Conan O'Brien. In other news, keep an eye out for Jim on the big screen when stars in the dramatic new film The Great New Wonderful with Maggie Gyllenhaal, Edie Falco (Carmella Soprano) and Tony Shalhoub (Monk). Jim also appears on the brand new BOB&TOM album, Donkey Show.

FACTOID - Jim starred in the movie Stephanie Daley which was shown at this year's Sundance Film Festival.

 

Bad Cop Equals Good Laughs
Comedian Mike Armstrong was such a bad cop, when he left the police force, three internal affairs officers had to be let go because there was no longer a need for their services. Whether he was pulling over motorists to warn them of speed traps down the road, monitoring birds with his radar gun or making U-Turns to avoid arriving on the scene of an accident, Armstrong personally helped strain police relations with the public without even trying. He may have struck fear in the hearts of everyone in town when he was working behind the badge, but now that he's a civilian and making a living on stage we all feel a whole lot safer. Mike just recently released a brand new comedy album, Comedy Police, and is featured on the new BOB&TOM project, Donkey Show.

FACTOID - Mike's wife has a twin sister. He claims that this means he knows exactly what his sister-in-law looks like naked.

 

Jim Short on Comedy
How many different accents can you fit into one standup comedian? Jim Short is attempting to find out. Originally from Australia, Short began doing standup comedy in Austin Texas, but is now based out of San Francisco. Whether or not the audience can understand him, Short is winning them over one joke at a time using a unique mix of personal observations on pop culture, world media, history, and television. The last time he was here, Jim shared with us his opinion on the little Microsoft paperclip that helps you write papers and let's just say it wasn't a favorable one.

 

A Man Full of Adjectives
Bizarre are demented are two adjectives normally reserved for mentally ill patients, but when you tack on sarcastic and hilarious, you’re probably talking about a standup comedian. One man who fits that description is Andy Hendrickson, who’s act (which as been described as having a touch of cynicism mixed with a boy next door charm) has been entertaining audiences in comedy clubs everywhere. His original songs and comedic jabs have been broadcast on a variety of mediums including TV, satellite radio and even cellular phones.

 

Proving That Physics Can Be Fun
If you’ve ever been watching a blockbuster summer film or reading a comic book, turned to the person next to you and said “there’s no possible way he could do that!” author and Physics Professor James Kakalios has some insight as to how those impossible feats could be done. In his new book The Physics of Superheroes, Kakalios uses basic physics principles and scientific theories to explain how a Superheroe’s powers would work in the real world. Ever wonder how much stronger the gravity of Krypton would have to have been in order for Superman to have such powers or how the Flash is able to breath while he’s running at supersonic speeds? Kakalios answers these difficult questions and many more by using the same lessons we all learned in school. Now don’t you wish they would have taught science like this back when you were in college?

 

Join The Crusade
Since Tim Bedore's popular segment, Vague But True, has become a regular feature on the BOB&TOM show, certain topics seem to pop up on a regular basis. One of the most popular subject matters has been the secret war raging between man and beast which Tim has dubbed the "Animal Conspiracy." The first installment of this larger work appeared on the album B&T Camel Toe almost two years ago, but as the news stories keep adding up and listener e-mails keep rolling in, Tim has had no choice but to continue informing the masses about this ongoing battle.

 

Living The Dream
If someone were to tell you they were performing as a comedy club MC six times a week and having to host karaoke after each show in the dead of winter 60 miles from the Canadian border while living in a 6x8 motel room next to a French fry factory, you might think they had it all. Chad Daniels on the other hand felt he needed something more in his life. That's when he decided to take his comedy on the road and began performing at clubs, colleges, bowling alleys, and Elks’ Lodges across the nation. Not long after, Chad performed as a finalist in Comedy Central’s Laugh Riots competition, which in turn got him enough attention to make his network television debut on the Late Late Show with Craig Kilborn. Chad has since released his first comedy album, Two Minutes for Stale Hacking.

 

Shooter Jennings
His mama didn’t let him grow up to be a cowboy, but she (and his famous father Waylon Jennings) did let him grow up to follow his dad’s footsteps and become a musician. Shooter Jennings began learning music at an early age while traveling in his parent’s tour bus. By the age of 14 he was playing and recording with his father’s band, and by sixteen he had discovered rock n’ roll. After leaving for LA to break into music, he assembled a band called Stargunn which helped him gain some credibility on the rock scene. After they dissolved, Shooter went out on his own and released his first solo album Put the O Back in Country in early 2005. This year, he is touring with Lynyrd Skynyrd and 3 Doors Down, and just released his second album, Electric Rodeo.

 

Got a Myth? They'll Bust It
When you’ve got an urban legend that you want debunked, who you gonna call? The Mythbusters of course. Jamie Hyneman and Adam Savage have been disproving (and occasional confirming) popular legends and myths on The Discovery Channel for a few years now, but before their television fame, they’ve held a number of other crazy professions. Some of the more interesting bullet points you’ll find on their resume include model builder, wilderness survival expert, chef, interior designer, animator, scenic painter robot inventor, special effects guru and carpenter. Individually they’ve worked on some of the biggest movies and TV commercials, but together they’ve done some really great work like figuring out if you can swing over the bar on a swing set or finding out how much water slows down a bullet. Starting July 12, Discovery will begin airing all new episodes of the popular weekly series every Wednesday Night at 9PM.

 

Tuesdays with Zany
Legendary comedian Bob Zany is set to deliver his eagerly anticipated Zany Report once again and we can barely contain our excitement. Having had less than a week to prepare, we're wondering if Bob is ready for the daunting task ahead, to present what he thinks is top-notch material in hopes of creating fits of laughter that will last all day. We're guessing this isn't going to happen, which is why he's also going to be presenting the Bing Crosby Joke of the Week and Fix The Joke Baby. And if that's still not enough, maybe you'll enjoy the new catch theme song.

 

Rock Star: Supernova with Tommy Lee
The popular reality series Rock Star is back for a second edition, and this year it’s better than ever before. Not only is it airing two times a week, Tuesdays at 9 and Wednesdays and 8 on CBS, it also features an all-star line-up of rock musicians who will join forces to form the new rock super group, Supernova. On the show, contestants will compete to become the lead singer of Supernova consisting of Tommy Lee (Motley Crue), Jason Newsted (Metallica) and Gilby Clarke (Guns N' Roses). And don’t worry, fans of last year’s show will be glad to hear that co-hosts Dave Navarro and Brooke Burke will be returning this season.

 

Bob For a Day
There are only a handful of comedians that we would allow to fill in for Bob while he's away on assignment. Unfortunately none of them were available, so we contacted Drew Hastings. All kidding aside, Drew is one our favorite and most frequent visitors, it’s never a boring morning when he stops by. Whether he’s telling us about his life on the farm or arriving dressed in the latest in metrosexual fashion he never fails to give us more material to hold against him. Currently Drew is working on expanding his one-man show “Life & Other Short Stories,” and creating a mockumentary based on his alter ego, Success Guru Jack Freeman. Drew also recently took part in the huge BOB&TOM Comedy show that will be aired on Comedy Central later this year.

 

Clean Up Act
Jesse Joyce began his standup career in the comedy clubs, but not in the way you'd think. His first gig was actually as a janitor, working at the Pittsburgh Funny Bone cleaning up bathrooms and scrubbing urinals. In between cleanings, Joyce was perfecting his craft and eventually traded in his mop for a microphone, becoming the club’s emcee. Once Joyce had outgrown his gig as an opening act, he made the move to NY to pursue his theater acting, writing and standup comedy careers. His standup has been featured on
Entertainment Tonight, the short-lived Jokevision Network and on Lifetime, and he’s won two Addy awards for commercial writing.

FACTOID – Jesse Joyce’s uncle was a clown in The Ringling Bros. & Barnum and Bailey Circus and his great uncles were founders of the International Juggling Association.

 

Rock Star: Supernova
The popular reality series Rock Star is back for a second edition, and this year it’s better than ever before. Not only is it airing two times a week, Tuesdays at 9 and Wednesdays and 8 on CBS, it also features an all-star line-up of rock musicians who will join forces to form the new rock super group, Supernova. On the show, contestants will compete to become the lead singer of Supernova consisting of Tommy Lee (Motley Crue), Jason Newsted (Metallica) and Gilby Clarke (Guns N' Roses). And don’t worry, fans of last year’s show will be glad to hear that co-hosts Dave Navarro and Brooke Burke will be returning this season.

 

 

 

 

 


"I never trust a hooker with fresh breath."
- "Larry King"

"The most ticklish people in the whole world are people walking down the street who you don't know."
- Mike Armstrong

"My body has no sexual meaning anymore, so if I can make people laugh with it, at least it's being used."
- Louis C. K.

"At least the US had an Exit Strategy for the World Cup."
- Bill Scheft on the US defeat in Soccer

"You couldn't look down on me anymore than you already do. You are so superior to me, it's breathtaking."
- Chick McGee to Tom

"I think the word you were looking for was 'perfect.'"
- Tommy Johnigan after Chick called him a 'freak.'

"The McRibb is the deadbeat dad of the fast food restaurant. It comes around every 6 months and you're supposed to be excited about it."
- John Garrett

"I know a lot of my comedian friends are a little 'kumbaya', but I would actually own a gun."
- Richard Jeni

"All of my home invasions are in the nude."
- Chick McGee

"I figured, women must like men's rear ends because it reminds them of a purse. It's got two sides, split in the middle and you keep your $&^# in it."
- Richard Jeni on things he doesn't un

"How come when you make suggestions they sound annoying and stupid, and when I do it they sound reasonable."
- Tom Griswold to Kristi while talking about grocery stores

"If Chick had a cologne, it would smell like mayonnaise."
- Tom Griswold

"It was a tough gig. They had to wake me up to fire me."
- Jim Gaffigan on his straight jobs before becoming a comedian

"I told people that I was from Indiana and they told me they didn't know they had such strong accents in Indy."
-Wolfgang Puck on his heavy German accent.

"How much money is Russia putting into this 'international' space station. I mean, it's like playing poker with your kids."
- Chick McGee to Dr. David Wolf

"Carrying around Vagisil is like having a I. V. for your genitals. You need that constant lube."
- Tom Griswold

"I would take it from you any way."
- A Caller asking Chick to sing 'Happy Birthday' to her

"I've been in a wreck in a parked car."
- Tom Griswold

" No, sweetheart, your nipples in the coffee."
- Bob Kevoian on being on a nude beach.

"How come it's always Jesus that people see in food. Why not your neighbor. Hey look, it's Ron!"
- Stan Stankos

"I'm fine boned with gazelle-like movements."
- Drew Hastings on his 'flitting' around

"My indian name is Running Tab."
-Mike Armstrong on his Indian heritage

" I asked my wife if she wanted to have a three-way. She said yes, but she wanted to know who the other two people would be."
- Geechy Guy

"I think you need to shut up now."
- Bob Kevoian to everyone

" I've done about 80 movies, although most of them starred Brian Bosworth. He couldn't stop Bo Jackson, but he can sure keep a buddy comedy from being funny."
- Tom Wilson

"I didn't know I was white trash until I met Tom."
- Kristi Lee

"Pete Rose, Jr. faces prison and house arrest for steroids distribution. By the way, he had only one request of the warden. He's asked to wear his dad's old number."
- "Larry King"

" Hot pockets come in packs of two so that there is one to eat and one to be in the freezer when you move."
- Jim Gaffigan