Jokes
Audio clips
Events link Archives link Frequently asked questions link

w w w . b o b a n d t o m . c o m           

July 19 - 23 2004

July 23, 2004
You Never Know Who You're Gonna Get
Though you may not recognize him without all the makeup, Darrell Hammond has been a fixture on NBC’s Saturday Night Live as a repertory player for nearly a decade. Having played President Bill Clinton for the majority of his years in office, Hammond now uses his knack for impersonation to mimic practically the entire US government and the pundits who cover it, sometimes performing as more than one in the same sketch. And while that's impressive, Darrell's got a whole lot more than that in his arsenal, including dead on impressions of Jesse Jackson, Phil Donahue, Sean Connery and many, many more. Aside from his wonderful character work on SNL, Darrell is an excellent standup comedian.

 

July 23, 2004
The Laugh Factory
When you're given a nickname like the "One Man Laugh Factory," you've all of a sudden got a lot of pressure on you to live up to such high expectations. Not a problem for comedian Mark Cordes; he's an inventive comedian, humorist and certified jokesmith (and you know how hard it is to get a jokesmith license, anymore). With a comedy style that's sophisticated, clever and clean, Mark has the ability to tiptoe on the edge of political correctness while never missing a chance for a good laugh. Sounds impressive, doesn’t it? Cordes is a first rate crowd pleaser and topnotch cooperate comedian that has been seen on Comic Strip Live, Evening at the Improv, and MTV Comedy Hour.

 
July 23, 2004
Full of Love
Comedian Bernie Lubbers loves everybody. His popular comedy song about having intimate relations his vacationing wife's sister, cousins, grandma and aunt exemplify that point exceptionally well. Bernie's journey into the comedy world began over 20 years ago with what was supposed to be a one-time performance at an open mic night contest. However, when Lubbers noticed that the audience was genuinely enjoying his material and he received the big check for placing first in the competition, he decided that standup comedy might not be a bad career move. From that point on it was 'so long' nine-to-five desk job at the bank, and hello glitz and glamour of standup comedy. Not just a joke teller, Bernie occasionally takes the stage to perform his one-man show titled I'll Take Manhattan & A Martini Too where he portrays the fictitious, yet legendary actor Joseph Bernard.
 

July 23, 2004
The Other Tommy James
His name is Tommy James, but he has never been or will be accompanied on stage by Shondells. In fact, he doesn't even enjoy their music. However, what he lacks in musical talent he more than makes up for with his no-holds barred style of comedy. James' jokes are a slap in the face to political correctness because nothing and no one is off limits when it comes to his off the wall observations. When James starts spouting off his solutions to society's problems, he sounds both out of his mind and right on the mark at the same time. Which is exactly why audiences have not only found his humor to be distinctive, they've also found it hilariously funny.

 

July 23, 2004
Lord Carrett & Wild Bill Bauer Together at Last
Lord Carrett, that comedian with the killer pompadour, and Wild Bill Bauer, the guy with the crazy uncle that plays russian roulette, are together again for the first time. Bauer and Carrett are co-headlining a huge comedy show at the Madison Theater in Covington, KY. In other news, Carrett is set to unveil his latest creation on the pompadour page of his website. We all cheered when Lord gave us the visual of Tommy G. with wacky hair and thought it couldn't get any better than that. But according to Carrett, we haven't seen anything until we've seen the BOBpadour, featuring our very own Bob Kevoian.To see Tommmy G's version of the coveted BOB&TOMpadour photo click here!

 

July 22, 2004
Overnight Sensation
Gregg and Evan Spiridellis are two brothers who run a design studio known as JibJab by day and make hilarious computer Flash animations for the masses in their spare time. Their latest animated movies is the political cartoon - This Land - and it has taken the country by storm. Their hysterical parody of Woody Guthrie’s classic patriotic tune has turned into a cult phenomenon and is without a doubt the most remarkable aspect of a rather boring 2004 presidential election campaign. Their satirical animation has been featured on every national and local news outlet in the country as well as right here on the front page of bobandtom.com. According to Gregg and Evan, "The economics of JibJab are simple. Simply insane, that is. We do an advertising job, squirrel away the money, and then take time off to produce something like “This Land” which, in most cases, won’t make us a dime. Some have called it a fiscally reckless lifestyle (actually, I think I said that), but gosh darn it, we’ve got big dreams, and dreams die hard."

 

July 22, 2004
Paul Rudd
Actor Paul Rudd has starred in a host of films including "Object of My Affection," "200 Cigarettes," and "Cider House Rules. Now he teams up with Will Ferrel, Christina Applegate and Steve Carol in the new release "Anchorman" from Dreamworks Pictures. The film revolves around characters Ron Burgundy and Veronica Corningstone who work in the television industry in San Diego during the '70s. When Veronica joins Ron's news team, he’s willing to play along as long as Veronica stays in her place, covering cooking and other female interests. But when Veronica refuses to settle for being eye candy and steps behind the news desk, it's more than a battle between two perfectly coiffed anchor-persons, it's war! "Anchorman" is in theaters now.

 

July 22, 2004
Music with a Message
For the most part, comedian Sean Morey's songs usually contain very heartfelt and well thought out messages. His tune Ghost Chickens in the Sky examines poultry's plight against the farmer's ax, his Man Song discusses the power struggle between men and women, and On the Internet is all about how hard it is to find love in today's society. The messages may not sound as profound when accompanied by his banjo, but if you can get past that, these songs might possibly teach you a little about life, love and even yourself. Except for maybe that Hermaphrodite Song, it's just plain weird.

If you'd like to sample some of these wonderful melodies, check out the Sean Morey Audio Page.

 

July 22, 2004
Ripped From the Headlines
After performing standup comedy for over 20 years, it would be easy for any comic to let their act get stale. That’s not the case for Carl Wolfson. He's able to keep his comedy fresh and new because his material is ripped right from the headlines of the daily news. While you're seated comfortably on your couch passively watching the evening news, Wolfson views it, pen and paper in hand, looking for any absurdities that he can turn into a few laughs. According to every bio ever written on Wolfson, he’s performed thousands of times (number of thousands may vary depending on the author) in hundreds of clubs across the country. His political comedy continues to be big draw on the comedy circuit, and his ‘News Update Slide Show’ closer is something not to be missed.

FACTOID - Carl Wolfson used to perform a weekly news rundown on the short lived late night talk show Thicke of the Night, hosted by Alan Thicke

 

July 21, 2004
Reporting From the Dinning Room
Now that Tim Bedore's popular editorial, Vague But True, has become a regular feature on the BOB&TOM show, we can't wait to find out what the topic of each new installment will be. Sometimes the subject matter is taken from Tim's own life, such as last week when he had another travel day from hell and once again passed the time having fun with a Sky Mall magazine. Where Bedore finds his inspiration may remain a mystery but what we do know is that every week he'll be reporting them from his home, in his dinning room while seated comfortably in a big blue beanbag chair. Bedore is currently performing his standup as part of the Four Stand-up Dads comedy tour.

 

July 20, 2004
The Word of Aug
The ranting, raving, gun fighting comedian from Montana, Auggie Smith is finally on his way back to the studio, and we can only assume he's traveling by horse. Though we were first introduced to him just a few short months ago, Auggie has become one of the most talked about guest of the year and his comedy pieces on drinking, Bed Bath & Beyond and leading a religious cult have remained show favorites. Because Aug finds his material in the absurdities of everyday people, situations and politics, he's never had a problem finding new targets on which to aim his comedy six-shooters, that is, unless those antidepressants his girlfriend prescribed start to kick in. Be warned, if you listen to Smith's ranting long enough, you too will find yourself following "The Word of Aug," but is that really such a bad thing?

Side Note - You can now purchase Auggie's brand new CD and DVD, Cult Following, on his website.

 

July 20, 2004
Can He Do It Again?
It's time again for that fabulous feature, The Zany Report, as brought to you each week by Bob Zany. Last week, Bob put together a solid installment of the Zany Report of the year, but the big question is, can he follow it up with another A+ effort? Are two hysterical weeks in a row too much to ask? Even if the report does disappoint, America's Favorite game show "Fix the Joke Baby (Live)" will be able to turn that frown upside down. And once again some lucky fan will win a a few T-shirts, Zany's chart topping CD, I Just Can't Win Baby, and a very valuable one year subscription to the BOB&TOM VIP site.

 

July 19, 2004
East Nashville Skyline
At last, fans of singer/songwriter Todd Snider can rest easy because his brand new studio album is about to hit shelves. The guy who wrote Beer Run, the song that changed a generation (or at least a considerable number of people), is releasing his first studio record in two years. East Nashville Skyline is a collection of all new songs that are both funny and often unsettling. While the topics covered in the songs include death, suicide, going to jail and growing old, they're all delivered in Todd's unique style so you still feel good when you listen. Make sure to catch Snider when he makes his long awaited return to the Friggemall Building because you never know when he might bust out his next mega-hit like Beer Run, Iron Mike, Statistician's Blues or Vinyl Records. In the meantime, why not check out some of his other tunes on the Todd Snider Audio Page.

FACTOID - Todd Snider came up with the album title for his new CD, East Nashville Skyline, when he told friends that he wanted to come up with something as good as Dylan's album, Nashville Skyline, only focusing on the east side of town.

 
July 19, 2004
Fuzzy's “Wolf Challenge”
Set for August 15th

Fuzzy Zoeller has created a truly unique annual professional golf event to showcase golf’s top names to benefit the children of Kentuckiana. The 2004 event will take place August 15th & 16th at Covered Bridge Golf Club, acclaimed as one of the top facilities in the entire region, and designed by Fuzzy Zoeller. The Wolf Challenge ™ is structured to bring out both the competitiveness and personalities of the professionals as they play a one-day event in the “Wolf” format for a purse of over $100,000. Sunday, August 15th will feature 26 PGA TOUR professionals each teamed with a foursome of amateurs for a Pro Score plus net best-ball competition. There will be some nationally known celebrities on hand to make sure things don’t get too serious.

 

 


"When you hit bone, you're too clean."
- Chick McGee in response to Tom's claim that you can never be too clean

" You guys rock like a nymphomaniac's tailor."
- Lord Carrett

"My porn name is going to be Bob Fortuna."
- Mark Cordes

" I wouldn't want to be running a brothel in Iraq with free eats."
- Tom Griswold

" I am anti-family. Do you know that every bad person that's ever lived came froma family? I've done research."
- Auggie Smith

" I had somebody ask me if my stalker was good looking. I told them that if she was good looking, she'd be a fan."
- Lord Carrett

"The hookers at the Republican convention are Pro-Life."
- Bill Scheft

"I've been known to have a period."
- Chick McGee

" Is the purpose of the ski boots to get you used to the feel of a cast."
- John Rathbone

" If your dentist is the one telling you you've got a VD, that's not good."
- Tom Griswald

" People who say money can't buy happiness don't own a wave runner."
- Daniel Tosh

" I shave my region because I want to have the fastest sex ever. I've shaved .3 seconds off my best time."
- Daniel Tosh

"My second album has become an unintentional collectors item."
- Mac McAnally

" Never send food back at a truck stop."
- Larry Reeb

" I don't drink to have fun, I drink to forget."
- Chick McGee

" I pulled a muscle in my sleep the other day. I guess I'm going to have to loosen up before I go to bed."
- AJ Jamal

" When was the last time you heard the phrase 'oh the humanity'??
- Tom Griswold on putting Hydrogen back in blimps

" If cell phones caused cancer, Tom would have a second head."
- Chick McGee