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w w w . b o b a n d t o m . c o m           

August 22 - 25 2006

JORDAN WARD ILLUSTRATION

Rocket Man
Dr. David Wolf, our resident expert on everything outer space, is a decorated member of NASA, but has done quite a bit on his home planet too. Wolf holds 11 US patents, has more than 20 awards for three-dimensional tissue engineering technologies and has earned several inventors' awards. But there is one dream he has yet to fulfill. We know that deep down Dr. Wolf secretly always wished he had become a DJ, so we've invited him to call us up give us the low down on what's going on this week at NASA. This goes to show that you don't have to be a rocket scientist to do radio, but it sure doesn't hurt.

 
Here's a photo of the moon rocks Dr, David Wolf brought in for show and tell!
 

Digital Comedy
When watching most standup comedy, don’t you feel as if something is missing? Comedian Steve Altman has found that something, and based his entire act around it, sound effects. Armed with his trusty keyboard, Altman sprinkles bleeps, cartoon noises and sounds we all love and hate into his shows. But he’s more than funny noises, Steve is also a top-notch comedian who isn’t afraid to belt out a tune or try out an impression for the audience to enjoy. Steve’s a good friend of the show and has made a number of television appearances including A & E's Evening at the Improv, Showtime's Comedy Club Network, Caroline's Comedy Hour, MTV, VH1, Fox's Comic Strip Live and HBO.

 

Welcome Back Tracey
Before 2003, Tracey MacDonald was an up and coming Canadian comedienne who was just trying to make a name for herself in field that is overloaded with wannabes. But it was in that magical year of ’03, when CBS brought back the nationally televised talent competition Star Search (as hosted by Arsenio Hall), and Tracey MacDonald made the leap and won it all. Since that time, she’s become a nationally touring headline comedienne, filmed a pilot with Louie Anderson, and has popped up on television on more than one occasion. This will be Tracey’s second appearance on the BOB&TOM Show since winning Star Search, and we’re looking forward to catching up.

 

Be Nice or He'll Walk
Comedian Jimmy Pardo demands respect, and maybe some day he’ll get it. Even though he’s one of the finest standup comedians working today and he's got a number of impressive credentials on his resume, Jimmy still feels like audiences, other comedians and even BOB&TOM don’t always give him the love he deserves. While we always enjoy talking to Jimmy, he's developed a reputation for getting into fights with the our other guests, and has been known to walk off the show from time to time. He claims he's only done this once, but we've got our people looking through the archives to verify. Though "the kid" is great on the radio, his face is the real money maker which is why you need to see Pardo perform live when the opportunity presents itself. Pardo is no stranger to television either, having appeared on The Surreal Life, Funny Money, Movies at Our House and in in the movie, The Godfather of Green Bay.

 

A Name That Sounds Like an Adverb
Pete Lee (or better yet, Peter Lee) may sounds like an adverb when you say it quickly, but it's actually the name of a smart, funny, up and coming stand up comedian. And though he may not be well known yet, he’s already proven that if you put him in a televised comedy competition, he'll finish toward the top. Twice he’s been entered in competitions on Comedy Central, and twice he’s come up just short of winning, but don't scoff, how high did you finish? Self described as an adorable, smart mouth with a 12th grade vocabulary, Lee is constantly pursuing acting work along with developing his blossoming standup career. He’s appeared in television commercials for McDonalds and Michelob and just released his first comedy CD, Gasmoney. Pete also appeared in the recent film A Prairie Home Companion :The Movie.

 

Sorry, Wrong Number
Tom Mabe is in the middle of an ongoing war with the telemarketing industry. His hatred of phone solicitors was born back in his days working as a struggling jingle writer from home. Whenever the phone would ring, Tom filled with joy, hoping it was a client ready to shell out cash for his services. But to his dismay, the voice on the other end of the line would almost always be a telemarketer attempting to sell Mabe something he didn't need. Tom could have done what any ordinary person would do and let this deep rooted anger fester, but instead he turned his aggravation into a profession. Mabe now waits by the phone in anticipation of solicitors, ready to make them sorry they ever picked up the phone. With oddball characters and outlandish situations, Mabe turns the tables on those pesky telemarketers, making their lives a living hell. The best of his reverse prank phone calls have been collected on three CD's,
Revenge of the Telemarketers Rounds 1 & 2 and A Wake Up Call For Telemarketers.

FACTOID - Tom Mabe crashed an American Teleservices Association Conference in Washington DC, by using a fake name and credentials. He then took his scheme one step further and placed prank phone calls to the telemarketing agency executives in the middle of the night.

 

Dave Dugan, Everybody
Comedian, corporate speaker and world-class voice-over talent Dave Dugan has been compared to comedy legend Bob Newhart in that he plays the part of the everyman victim to perfection. With a dry delivery, wealth of material and unbelievably deep voice, Dugan has made it big on the standup scene, headlining clubs across the country. However, where Dave is able to utilize his talents most effectively is during his corporate speaking gigs. Dugan is famous for walking into a speaking engagement as an imposter; posing as a new hire in the company's upper management or even as a desperate, pathetic competitor. A long time friend of the show, Dugan has appeared in a number of classic B&T bits, both as himself and as Sid Gurney's best buddy, Bart McAlister.

FACTOID - Dave Dugan is the voice that reminds viewers that Steak 'n Shake is "famous for Steakburgers" at the end of each of the popular restaurant chain's commercials.

 

Words of Wisdom
Tim Bedore has been a weekly Wednesday fixture on the show with his Vague But True editorials, which is why we're so eager to find out what his next installment will be about. Over the past year, these musings have helped us learn a lot about Tim, including the speech he would have given college graduates had he been asked to speak at a college graduation and his theory on how women are the cause of all wars (both of which appear on the new BOB&TOM album Donkey Show). But no matter the topic, we're happy he'll be reporting on it from his new home up north, where the introverts stare at their shoes and the extroverts stare at your shoes. In other exciting news, Tim's new CD, Vague But True, is hot off the presses. Get your copy of this new CD featuring over 30 of Tim's best VBT's to date.

 

Vanishing Act
John Feinstein is one of the most celebrated and enjoyed sports writers of all time, but his new release is a little different than his previous works. Vanishing Act: Mystery at the US Open is Feinstein's second children’s novel, though it seems every bit as real as the true stories he’s written in the past. The story continues the adventures of Stevie and Susan, two winners of a children’s writing contest who both dream of becoming sports reporters. This time around, they find themselves in New York for the US Open when the sport's most watched athlete, a young russian phenom, vanishes between her first and second round matches. Though the entire world is following the story, it's up to these two young sleuths to find her. Vanishing Act is the second work of fiction by Feinstein and is a follow up on his best selling first novel, Last Shot. Feinstein is also famous for his non-fiction works including Season on the Brink, A Good Walk Spoiled, The Punch and Let Me Tell You a Story.

 

Mike's Secret Public Journal
Mike Birbiglia is constantly on the road performing comedy in clubs all across the country. While he's traveling, and when he's not entertaining "America's Guest" Joe Birbiglia, Mike spends his time taking notes and recording his thoughts in a feature he likes to call his Secret Public Journal. He regularly e-mails these entries to his legions of adoring fans, but since we don't enjoy reading, we've asked him to call in and share his musings over the phone. And since we took the time to write him his own theme music, it was impossible for him to say no.

 

If Only Every Day Could Be Tuesday
Though he's never won an Emmy and has yet to star in a hit sitcom, Bob Zany is still number one in our hearts, or at least a close second. Everybody knows that Zany is a legendary comedian and an all around great guy, but what people truly love about Bob is that each and every week he delivers an all new exciting edition of The Zany Report (whether they want him to or not.) As if that wasn't enough, Zany also hosts *America's favorite game show "Fix-the-Joke Baby," where one lucky player will win a fabulous Eat Salmon the Other Pink Meat T-shirt, a handful of great CDs, and best of all, a one-year BOB&TOM VIP membership.

*Highest rated game show statistics have not yet been verified, but Zany assures us that these numbers are completely accurate.

 

You da Manning
Even if you're not a football fan, you know who Peyton Manning is. And even if you don't watch the NFL, you've seen him on TV. It should come as no surprise that he pops up on commercials and magazines covers all the time considering he's arguably the best player in the NFL, in fact, he was last season's MVP. While some say his skill come from an unparalleled work ethic and constant studying of film, other's claim it's all in the genes. He's got quarterbacking in his blood. His father, Archie, was a pro-bowl QB with the New Orleans Saints, and his brother Eli was also a number one draft and now plays for the New York Giants. Though it would be easy for a guy on pace to break almost every respected quarterback record in the NFL to lose focus on everything else, Peyton hasn't. He's continues to put the team first, and would be happier if his Indianapolis Colts won the Super Bowl than he would be with any personal achievements.
Check out the latest on Peyton's Charity Auction

JORDAN WARD ILLUSTRATION

 

Like Father Like Sons
Being the father of two NFL quarterbacks is quite an accomplishment in its own right, but to have also been one yourself is near unbelievable. But that’s the case for former NFL Pro Bowl quarterback Archie Manning. The name Manning has become associated with football greatness thanks recently to Eli in New York and Peyton in Indianapolis, but it all began with Archie Manning in New Orleans. Archie played for the Saints for 14 seasons and during that time earned a few trips to the Pro Bowl and was the NFL MVP in 1979. And this was all while playing on one of the worst teams in the league. He’s also considered to be one of the greatest collegiate players of all time and was inducted into the College Football Hall of Fame in 1989.

FACTOID – Two of Archie’s sons (Peyton and Eli) were both #1 picks in the NFL draft. Archie was the #2 pick in 1971.

JORDAN WARD ILLUSTRATION

 
BOB&TOM with Archie and Peyton Manning.
 

 

 

 

 


"I won't tell you how many times my dad has been married, but if they were sandwiches, his next one would be free."
- Jimmy Pardo

"Using it as a suppository seems to take all of the romance out of heroin."
- Tom Griswold

"In my twneties I was anal about my birth control. Literally."
- Laurie Kilmartin

"Some day I want to hold your hand and run across the rainbow little fluff-puff."
- Harland Williams to Frank Caliendo as George W. Bush

"I feel like a dog listening to a card trick."
- Chick McGee while listening to Don McMillan's tech joke

"You know who likes to get fisted? Sock puppets."
- Daniel Tosh

" I wear black condoms because they're slimming."
- Daniel Tosh

"Nothing beats a good cookie."
- Kristi Lee

"I've been on drugs for a week, I don't know what real life is like right now."
- Kristi Lee

"Why did you look at me when you said 'premature'?"
- Chick McGee to Laura Steele

"Climbing around on the old fleshy playground."
- Bob Kevoian on having fun with a full-figured gal

" I never trust a hooker with fresh breath."
- "Larry King"

"The most ticklish people in the whole world are people walking down the street who you don't know."
- Mike Armstrong

"My body has no sexual meaning anymore, so if I can make people laugh with it, at least it's being used."
- Louis C. K.

"At least the US had an Exit Strategy for the World Cup."
- Bill Scheft on the US defeat in Soccer

"You couldn't look down on me anymore than you already do. You are so superior to me, it's breathtaking."
- Chick McGee to Tom

"I think the word you were looking for was 'perfect.'"
- Tommy Johnigan after Chick called him a 'freak.'

"The McRibb is the deadbeat dad of the fast food restaurant. It comes around every 6 months and you're supposed to be excited about it."
- John Garrett

"I know a lot of my comedian friends are a little 'kumbaya', but I would actually own a gun."
- Richard Jeni

"All of my home invasions are in the nude."
- Chick McGee

"I figured, women must like men's rear ends because it reminds them of a purse. It's got two sides, split in the middle and you keep your $&^# in it."
- Richard Jeni on things he doesn't un

"How come when you make suggestions they sound annoying and stupid, and when I do it they sound reasonable."
- Tom Griswold to Kristi while talking about grocery stores

"If Chick had a cologne, it would smell like mayonnaise."
- Tom Griswold

"It was a tough gig. They had to wake me up to fire me."
- Jim Gaffigan on his straight jobs before becoming a comedian

"I told people that I was from Indiana and they told me they didn't know they had such strong accents in Indy."
-Wolfgang Puck on his heavy German accent.

"How much money is Russia putting into this 'international' space station. I mean, it's like playing poker with your kids."
- Chick McGee to Dr. David Wolf

"Carrying around Vagisil is like having a I. V. for your genitals. You need that constant lube."
- Tom Griswold