August 30, 2002
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Kim Adler is perhaps the most attractive member of the Professional Women's Bowling Association Tour, and she’s not to bad at bowling either. She is using both of these assets in an attempt to auction off eight square inches of ad space on her skirts and shorts using the online auction service, eBay. The winner’s ad or logo will appear on the TV camera-side of her skirt or shorts for an entire year during all bowling-related appearances (it might take a little more money to get her to advertise on her clothing 24/7). Adler is hoping that because she’s been in the televised finals more than 60 times on ESPN and ESPN2, sponsors will be more likely to open up their checkbooks and begin bidding.

"All I have to do is finish in the top five to be on TV," says Adler, who has over twenty 300 games in her professional career. "Who ever places the ad on my skirt is going to get some exposure."

This year to date, Kim has won a tournament and finished second twice. And as of this week, with the auction nearing completion, the bidding wars are heating up. "You all should make a bid on it," Adler told Bob & Tom.

"That's not a bad idea," said Bob. "Our faces right above her thighs."

"Yeah, and we could turn them inside out," added Tom.

FACTOID - The name of Kim Adler's very first bowling team was the King Muffs.

August 30, 2002
Clean Side Up
Comedian Pat Dixon’s ideal audience would be full of halfway intelligent people who can understand subtle yet witty humor that borders on the slightly offensive. But if he can’t get that, just having an attentive crowd with no hecklers would be nice. Dixon was one of the finalists on Comedy Central’s Laugh Riots Competition, where he proved he is a star on the rise. Though he loves being a standup comic, Dixon thinks almost all comedians are pathetic worms expressing their bottomless need for love and approval by going on-stage night after night, but that's not necessarily a bad thing.

FACTOID – Pat Dixon says that if he had a sitcom it would be about a comedy singing, bigamist truck-driver who travels around the country with his multiple family’s having wacky adventures and writing songs about his experiences. He’d call it “Clean Side Up.” Is this a future UPN show in the making? We’ll just have to wait and see.

August 29, 2002
Rodney Finally Gets Some Respect
Legendary comedian Rodney Dangerfield has proven himself as a standup comic and blockbuster movie star, but he's finally getting praise for his musical ability. Dangerfield’s song I Spent My Birthday in Las Vegas (which he wrote and performed), was selected as the official song of the upcoming Las Vegas Comedy Festival which will showcase the new generation of standup comics from around the country. For years now, Rodney has been recognized for giving major comedy stars of today their start including Jim Carrey, Adam Sandler, Roseanne and many others. This newfound success isn’t keeping Dangerfield from working on other projects though, he’ll soon be seen on the Big screen starring in The Fourth Tenor and Back By Midnight (which he also co-wrote, and co-produced). He’s also putting the finishing touches on his autobiography It’s Not Easy Being Me which will be landing on bookshelves soon. With all these accomplishments, it’s hard to believe that Rodney just recently received a star on the walk of fame. However, with his name firmly cemented on Hollywood Boulevard, he’s finally getting the respect his rightfully deserves. More on Page two! >>>

FACTOID – Rodney Dangerfield appeared on the Tonight Show with Johnny Carson an amazing 70 times.

FACTOID – Rodney's standup career predates that of his old friend Lenny Bruce.

August 29, 2002
The Genius of
Heywood Banks
In the midst of a road trip, the loveable Heywood Banks (Toast, Flies Eyes, 18 Wheels on a Big Rig) made a pit stop to test out a new tune before he once again left for the comedy circuit. Armed with his well-tuned guitar, and an adequate grasp of his lyrics, Heywood did his best to help make everyone's early morning bright. While he was here, Heywood confused the cast when he played a song that sounded like a romantic ballad about his "queen." It was only after three quarters lyrics had passed that we realized the song was about a queen size mattress that had flown off the top of his car. That Heywood, such the jokester. Anyway, this stop was probably the last time this year that Heywood could perform his seasonal song Summer Time before the weather turns nasty and instead it's his tune Wiper Blades that gets stuck in your head every time you get in the car.

August 27, 2002
And You Thought Your Hobby Was Stupid!
Though Major League Baseball is threatening work stoppage, it’s comforting to know that there are still some selfless athletes who are willing to put it all on the line for the fans even when there’s no money involved. We are referring to those wackos who think racing lawn mowers is fun. These weekend warriors aren’t your everyday weed-whackers; this is the real deal and they’re serious about their sport. Equipped with fire
suitsand helmets, and riding on juiced up John Deeres, the men of the National Lawn Mowers Racing Series compete in ten road-course race, all in hopes of winning the coveted Sta-Bil Championship Cup.

Kary Koelliker of the USLMRA brought his racing mower to the Friggemall complex, and Tom soon found after mounting the beast just what that baby could do. As Tom was flying through the adjacent field, Kary said he looked as if he was doing about 30 MPH (which is rumored to be the speed Tom drives on the interstate as well). Though barely audible over the roar of the engine, Mr. Griswold attempted to give us a play by play of his riding experience while Chick, Koelliker, and a few other onlookers watched from a safe distance.