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w w w . b o b a n d t o m . c o m           

August 28 - September 1 2006

 

Lucky Louis
To say Louis C.K has done it all would be too vague, but to list it all would take too long, so instead we'll give you a quick review of some of the highlights of his career. A Tonight Show, Late Night and Late Show veteran, Louis C.K. has not only appeared on almost every comedy television show, he’s also written for a number of them. Louis began his standup career in 1987 with an open mic night that went horribly wrong. Luckily for Louis, he didn’t let that first performance discourage him because if he had, he never would have been nominated for four Emmy Awards (winning one) while working on the Chris Rock Show, made a number of comedy shorts that have been featured at Sundance Film Festival, and directed a couple of cult classic movies like Pootie Tang. These days, Louis is back in front of the camera working on his brand new sitcom, Lucky Louie, which airs every Sunday at 10:30 on HBO.

 

Mr. Robinson's Piano
From the first moment he got the taste of performing in front of a crowd in college, comedian Craig Robinson knew that this was his calling. Whether he's teaching a class, playing in a church choir or performing with the world famous Second City Improv Comedy team, Craig thrives off live audiences. Just stick him in front of a piano and Robinson is ready to rock with his musical comedy parodies that are tailor made to be enjoyed by any group of people. Along with his stage work, Craig Robinson has been featured on television. His credits include performing on Def Comedy Jam and Premium Blend, and co-starring on the FX series Lucky. If you have some time to burn, send Craig some e-mail!!

 
Sorry Kids, Mom's Busy This Weekend
Christine Stedman began performing standup comedy as a way to get out of babysitting grandchildren, however she's turned this lame "excuse" into a succcessful career. Every night Christine hits the stage, she shares her unique perspectives on life's trials and tribulatons with the audience. She's a Las Vegas and Atlantic City favorite and has been featured on The View and Bud Light Ladies of Laughter. For about a year and a half, she toured with soap opera actor Walt Willey from ABC's All My Children. Not too bad for a woman who simply wanted to avoid changing diapers.
 
 

Jen is Famous
Jennifer Dziura is a writer, a blogger, she hosts the Williamsburg Spelling Bee, satirically reviews sex-toys and is a part time model. Oh, and sometimes she still finds the time to be a standup comedienne. You could say she’s a busy woman. Based out of New York, Jennifer has played every big club in town, and even produces a biweekly comedy/variety show of her own called The Jenny Vaudeville Show. But this comic is no clown, she’s a two-time debate champion and holds a B.A. degree from Dartmouth College. Currently, she is set to make her first cross country comedy tour, and is working on a one-woman show with Lord Carrett.

 

Employee of the Year
Comedian Dane Cook is living proof that when you put your mind to something, and learn how to market yourself, you can reach the top of your profession. For over 15 years, Cook has worked as a touring comedian with the goal of some day making it in Hollywood. With an unparalleled Internet marketing strategy and a unique brand of humor, Cook developed a worldwide following. Over the years, he’s not only sold out venues all over the country, he’s produced chart topping comedy albums and highly successful comedy specials. But as hard as it is to believe, recently his fame has reached even greater heights. After starring in Dave Attell’s Insomniac tour and a number of Comedy Central programs, Dane singed a multiyear, multifaceted deal with HBO that included the development of a series and a huge “Tourgasm” special. Now this success has turned into a blossoming film career. He recently starred in the movie Waiting and is also the lead in the upcoming film Employee of the Month featuring Jessica Simpson and Harland Williams.

JORDAN WARD ILLUSTRATION

 

Open Door Policy
We never know exactly when Heywood Banks is going to pop into the studio, but that just adds to his charm. Heywood has been a friend of the show for more years than we can remember, but he never seems to give us much notice when he decides to drop by and play a new tune. But Heywood’s got such a good track record of playing great songs, we’re happy to extend him an open invitation. In recent visits, he’s treated us to instant classics like Trauma to the Groin, Teenie Tiny Tattoo and There’s a Tuna, yet he still finds time to work in favorites like Toast, 18 Wheels on a Big Rig and I Like Summer. With Heywood, you never know what you’re going to get when he picks up his guitar, but it’s a guarantee that you’re going to laugh.

FACTOID - Believe it or not, the 62 foot Jesus Heywood that sings about has it's own website! Check it out!

 

Twisted Greetings
Dan Cummins, formerly of the comedy duo COB DOG (AKA Crowe & Cummins) is back out touring on his own, crisscrossing the country and hitting as many colleges and comedy clubs as he can along the way. Cummins is a comically gifted singer/songwriter who’s famous among BOB&TOM listeners for his role as the pushy java salesman in the piece “At the Coffee House.” Though he’s only played a few of his humorous tunes for B&T, you can listen to all of them by purchasing his comedy album, Lower Your Goals, on his website. While you’re there, why not order a few of Dan’s famous Twisted Greetings greeting cards which are inappropriate for any occasion.

 

Jamie Kennedy's L.A. Experiment
From the moment he took an acting class in high school, Jamie Kennedy knew he wanted to move out to LA and live the dream life of an actor. Instead, he moved out to LA and learned what life for most 'actors' is more like a nightmare. In between jobs at the Red Lobster and Humphrey Yogurt, Jamie managed to make some auditions, but he never seemed to get a part other than as a ‘background artist.’ His story remained the same for many years until Jamie came to the realization he had to do something different. His big plan was to go into standup comedy, and become his own agent. So he began performing at local clubs and created a persona named ‘Max Power’ to represent him and wouldn’t you know it, the plan worked. Soon, Kennedy began landing gigs in a few Hollywood blockbusters such as Scream and Three Kings, and eventually got his own show on The WB network called The Jamie Kennedy Experiment. And while his acting career continues to grow, Jamie has taken the time to hit the street again and bring back his successful standup routine.

 
 

Our Favorite Temp
Laura Steele

While Kristi is out on assignment, the role of veteran news reporter will be filled by the lovely Laura Steele. This means Laura will be spending all morning with us poised gently astride the news desk, which is good news for anyone who has access to the VIP Studio Cam. Along with being our best looking temp (no offense Mad Dog), Laura is also a regular in B&T recordings whenever a sultry, sexy female voice is required for a piece. Want to see more Laura? Check out her photo page or go to the BOB&TOM Store when she’s featured as one of our favorite fashion models.

 

Vague But True
It's been a long time since we last visited with comedian Tim Bedore (well, seven days to be exact) which is why we're so eager to have him back on his special line ready to deliver another exciting edition of Vague But True. Live from his home in Minnesota where he's seated comfortably at mission control, Tim shares his thoughts on life, society, politics and his day to day activities, presented in the form of in-depth, entertaining editorials. Over the past year, these musings have helped us learn a lot about Bedore, including his thoughts on downloading movies, how woman are the cause of wars, his time spent at summer camp and his theory on how animals are trying to wipe out our species.

 

Lord of the Pompadour
The last few times comedian Lord Carrett has stopped by, he's brought a couple of unexpected visuals with him, which can still be seen on his pompadour page. First there was the Tompadour, which demonstrated what Tommy G. would look like with Lord's hair. This was followed by the equally exciting Bobpadour. Then, just when we thought we'd seen it all, the Chickpadour was unveiled. Could a Kristipadour be far behind? Lord may spend hours working on his immaculately cared for hair, but somehow he does find time to write and perform standup comedy too. Recently Carrett released his first live comedy album, Lord Carrett: Unsweetened, which was unique in that it was truly 'live.' It contained no laugh track, no editing and was recorded from only one show.

 

An American Icon
It's time again for that fabulous feature, The Zany Report, as brought to you each week by Bob Zany. This man of comedic courage runs the comedy gauntlet every Tuesday, hoping that his report will lead to roaring laughter throughout the studio. And though he normally falls just a bit short, this legendary talent refuses to give up or give in. Also, one lucky fan will attempt to improve a Zany punchline by playing Fix The Joke, Baby (live) where they can win a boatload of prizes including a one year BOB&TOM VIP membership, a couple of ultra cool T-shirts and a whole lot more!

 

We Just Call Him Fred
If you're not familiar with Rodney Carrington's work, you must be new to the show because his songs are among the most popular pieces in our audio archives. Entries in his songbook include the classics A Letter to my Penis, Don't Look Now (Mama's Got Her Boobs Out) and the irritatingly catchy tune Fred. If you're already a huge fan of Mr. Carrington, you'll be happy to know that all your favorite tunes can be found on the certified gold double CD, Rodney Carrington's Greatest Hits. Disc one covers Rodney's racy yet extremely funny standup comedy while disc two is packed with the music we've all come to know and love.

Rodney is involved with PDK Awareness walks. For more info see PDK Foundation.

 

Ian Gillan's Inn the Studio
Ian Gillan is credited as being one of the leading voices of Heavy Metal in the 70’s, but looking back on his history, he’s also been one of the busiest. Ian first broke onto the scene as the lead singer of the band Deep Purple. With them, Gillan recorded a number of great albums including Machine Head, which featured their smash hit Smoke on the Water. The bands success along with the constant touring eventually took its toll on Gillan’s body. He soon resigned from Deep Purple, but it wasn’t long before he was back in a new band simply named Gillan. This self titled group would go on to release a number of albums before eventually ending due to Gillan needing to take a break. After that sabbatical, Gillan surprised fans again by joining Black Sabbath for a short stint, and also reuniting with Deep Purple for a number of albums and tours. These days, Gillan continues to keep busy producing solo projects, the most recent of which is 2006 release, Gillan’s Inn

 

 

 

 


"I am trying to learn Spanish so that I can start Text-Mexing people."
- Heywood Banks

"I won't tell you how many times my dad has been married, but if they were sandwiches, his next one would be free."
- Jimmy Pardo

"Using it as a suppository seems to take all of the romance out of heroin."
- Tom Griswold

"In my twenties I was anal about my birth control. Literally."
- Laurie Kilmartin

"Some day I want to hold your hand and run across the rainbow little fluff-puff."
- Harland Williams to Frank Caliendo as George W. Bush

"I feel like a dog listening to a card trick."
- Chick McGee while listening to Don McMillan's tech joke

"You know who likes to get fisted? Sock puppets."
- Daniel Tosh

" I wear black condoms because they're slimming."
- Daniel Tosh

"Nothing beats a good cookie."
- Kristi Lee

"I've been on drugs for a week, I don't know what real life is like right now."
- Kristi Lee

"Why did you look at me when you said 'premature'?"
- Chick McGee to Laura Steele

"Climbing around on the old fleshy playground."
- Bob Kevoian on having fun with a full-figured gal

" I never trust a hooker with fresh breath."
- "Larry King"

"The most ticklish people in the whole world are people walking down the street who you don't know."
- Mike Armstrong

"My body has no sexual meaning anymore, so if I can make people laugh with it, at least it's being used."
- Louis C. K.

"At least the US had an Exit Strategy for the World Cup."
- Bill Scheft on the US defeat in Soccer

"You couldn't look down on me anymore than you already do. You are so superior to me, it's breathtaking."
- Chick McGee to Tom

"I think the word you were looking for was 'perfect.'"
- Tommy Johnigan after Chick called him a 'freak.'

"The McRibb is the deadbeat dad of the fast food restaurant. It comes around every 6 months and you're supposed to be excited about it."
- John Garrett

"I know a lot of my comedian friends are a little 'kumbaya', but I would actually own a gun."
- Richard Jeni

"All of my home invasions are in the nude."
- Chick McGee

"I figured, women must like men's rear ends because it reminds them of a purse. It's got two sides, split in the middle and you keep your $&^# in it."
- Richard Jeni on things he doesn't un

"How come when you make suggestions they sound annoying and stupid, and when I do it they sound reasonable."
- Tom Griswold to Kristi while talking about grocery stores

"If Chick had a cologne, it would smell like mayonnaise."
- Tom Griswold

"It was a tough gig. They had to wake me up to fire me."
- Jim Gaffigan on his straight jobs before becoming a comedian

"I told people that I was from Indiana and they told me they didn't know they had such strong accents in Indy."
-Wolfgang Puck on his heavy German accent.

"How much money is Russia putting into this 'international' space station. I mean, it's like playing poker with your kids."
- Chick McGee to Dr. David Wolf

"Carrying around Vagisil is like having a I. V. for your genitals. You need that constant lube."
- Tom Griswold