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w w w . b o b a n d t o m . c o m           

August 29 - September 2 2005

 

Friday Starts The Weekend! Oh Wait, It Really Does
When comedian Greg Hahn takes the stage, he brings an energetic, all-out style of physical humor, one-liners and crowd work unlike you've ever seen. And once he get's going there's no stopping him because he doesn't have time for laughs, he's out to create immediate pandemonium and panic. Hahn will wear an audience out with his rapid-fire jokes leave them holding their sides, trying to catch their breath in no time. Though Hahn's resume includes numerous television appearances and headlining countless comedy clubs, his true calling may be as a speaker at corporate functions. Hahn is famous for stepping behind the podium during stuffy business events and pretending to be a guest speaker, only to launch into his bizarre antics. Needless to say, it takes everyone in attendance completely off guard.

 

Things Could
Always Be Worse
He may look more like a substitute teacher than a standup comedian, but when Mark Gross hits the stage you soon find out that when it comes to comedy nothing is off limits, and no one is safe. Gross has been seen on the Tonight Show and has been featured on Comedy Central’s Premium Blend, but Mark's been known to work behind the scenes in Hollywood too. He was a long time writer for the late night talk show Politically Incorrect, and is currently writing for the ABC sitcom Rodney, starring Rodney Carrington, Mark recently released his first live comedy album Meet Mark Gross, which is available through Capitol Records.

 

Ken Sevara
does Caray-oke

Back in 1976, Ken Sevara began his comedy career as one half of the popular duo "O'Brien and Sevara,” though he hasn’t told us which one he was. For years the two made a living touring the comedy club circuit, but in 1984, Sevara decided to strike out on his own. His knack for cutting through b.s. and speaking the truth helped him make an immediate impact on the standup scene, not only in his hometown but also at clubs throughout the country. He can be both funny and clean at the same time and he’s got a killer Harry Caray impression. Which is why he appears in Harry related bits on two B&T albums, Wild About Harry and Air Bags.

 

In Todd We Trust
Todd Yohn doesn’t have the red hair anymore, but his new look hasn’t hampered his comedy in anyway. His off the wall antics, improvisational comedy and catchy songs are as funny as ever. If you haven’t seen Todd perform live, you’re missing out on a show that Tommy G. calls one of the funniest he’s ever seen. Yohn is one of the rare performers who can get audiences laughing with just a look or a lip quiver, but he doesn't rely solely on physical comedy. When he joins us in the studio, he comes equipped with his handy guitar and belts out tunes tunes like Orange Barrels, Feminine Hygiene, and Daddy Please Don't Go. He recently appeared on the BOB&TOM album Odd Balls performing the song You Can’t Say… with good buddy Pat Godwin. Todd is also taking part in the juggernaut that is The Friends of the BOB&TOM Show comedy tour.

 

The Born-Again Bachelor
Over the years, comedian Mark Knope has been through a lot. From being carried home from the hospital upside down as a baby, to becoming a “born-again bachelor” after his wife walked out, Mark has had enough emotionally draining experiences to fill three or four comedy acts. As a 15-plus year veteran of the standup, Knope has performed his shtick in front of all audiences of all size and in every type of venue, cruise ships, comedy clubs, and even broom closets. On stage, Knope uses sound effects, funny stories, and everything else in his comedic arsenal to involve and endear himself to any and all people. If you like his stuff, why not purchase his CD, Don't Laugh, It'll Only Encourage Him.

 

How Short is He?
Comedian Kevin Jordan is a five foot four baby-faced African American with a charming smile. He looks like anything but the typical L.A. cop. But for five years that is exactly what he was ... except for one thing, he was definitely not typical. A self-described "people person" Jordan claims he was once written up by a superior officer for being too nice. One of a crop of shorter-than-average officers allowed on the force when the department lowered its height standard to recruit more women and minorities, Kevin had trouble reaching the gas pedal of his patrol car, according to one of his ratings reports. Once when he drove the car without a partner, a citizen called the police station to report that a little kid had stolen a police car.
On stage Kevin Jordan really gets the audience going with tales of his former career but that is by no means his whole show. Kevin's version of "life with father" has his audience holding their sides and nodding in recognition in between guffaws. Kevin's unique view of the world grew from his designated seat in the family station wagon - facing backwards. That could be why the comedy business suits him so much better than that police uniform.

 

The Mind of Mencia
One of the most popular comedians in the country, Carlos Mencia is no longer just a club act, he's now visiting people's living rooms nationwide on a weekly basis with his new Comedy Central series, The Mind of Mencia. The show features the observational comedian's commentary on current events, man-in-the-street films, commercial parodies and audience interaction. Mencia is acting as both the star and executive produce the series which means if things are going well, he'll have himself to thank. Though his show premiered only a few weeks ago, Carlos is still touring the country and performing live. This week you can catch his act in Columbus, OH at the Funny Bone comedy club. The Mind of Mencia airs Wednesdays at 10:30 on Comedy Central.

 
 

Too Good to Be True
Tim Bedore has been on a hot streak lately with his weekly Vague But True editorials, which is why we're so eager to find out what his next installment will be about. Over the past year, these musings have helped us learn a lot about Tim, including his predictions on the upcoming year, the joy he finds in defacing SkyMall magazines, the constant struggle between being a good father and a good comedian and his theory on how animals are trying to wipe out our species. But no matter the topic, we're happy he'll be reporting on it from his new home up north, where the introverts stare at their shoes and the extroverts stare at your shoes. Plus, make sure you stick around for the conclusion of VBT because Bedore now has a catchy little outro that you just can't help but sing along with.

 
 



The Genius of Heywood Banks
Heywood Banks might have been a late addition to this week's guest list, but we couldn't be happier to have our favorite "Toast" loving singer/songwriter in the studio. Armed with his ever-tuned guitar, and an adequate grasp of his hysterical lyrics, Heywood always does his best to make everyone's early mornings bright by sharing a few new tunes that will add to a full morning of mirth making. But if you can't wait and want to hear some classic Heywood, you can purchase his albums at ComedyHome.com. VIP members can get their fix even quicker by checking out the Heywood Banks Audio Page.

Now with 12% More Comedy
It’s time again for everyone’s favorite weekly feature, The Zany Report starring comedy legend Bob Zany. In case you’re new to the show or are unfamiliar with the concept of The Zany Report, we’ll explain how it works. Every Tuesday, Bob Zany calls in to deliver a handful of jokes based on current events and comical news stories. Though his intention is to present a report that is hilarious from top to bottom, it doesn’t always work out this way. Of course as good hosts, BOB&TOM are always kind enough to point out which of his jokes came up a little short in the laughs department. This is where you the listener come into play because Zany then invites a lucky fan to call in and fix one of his flat punch lines in a little game he calls Fix-The-Joke Baby! Sounds easy, doesn’t it? To find out more, got to bobzany.com, baby!

 

Break Out Star
Prison breaks are normally good fodder for the climax of a feature length film, but there’s no way one could be the premise of a television drama. The FOX Network disagrees, and their new fall series Prison Break is out to prove otherwise. On the show, Michael Scofield is a desperate man whose brother has been arrested for a crime that Michael doesn’t think he committed. What’s even worse, his brother is on death row for this crime and the clock is ticking. With no other options left, Michael does the only rational thing he can think of and gets himself arrested too, so that he can help his brother escape prison, from the inside. Prison Break premiers Monday, August 29th on FOX and stars actor Wade Williams among others. Williams, starring as Captain Bellick, is hoping that his new series will be as successful as the ones he’s guest starred on. Williams has been featured on CSI: Crime Scene Investigation, CSI: Miami, Six Feet Under and 24 among others.

 

 

 

 

 

 


"The reason they suspended that player nine games for betting the kid to drink a gallon of milk is because that would be 2% of the season."
- Tom Griswold

"My neighbor came over the other day and told me that he thought my wife was cheating on us."
- Kevin Jordan

"My mom is like a uterus with a head."
- Carlos Mencia on being one of 18 kids

"Bob, I have to go, the egg man is here."
- Herm Johnson

"Have you ever noticed that countries whose names end in 'stan' always suck. We should just change the name to Afganisuck"
- Tom Griswold

"Apparently there is no Bug Kama Sutra because they all seem to be doing it the same way every time."
- Bob Kevoian on nature

"It's too bad you can't do good things when you're black out drunk. You never hear, 'hey man, you were so wasted last night that you balanced my check book."
- Lee Levine

"How do you know when fish goes bad? It still smells like fish."
- Jim Gaffigan

"I don't speak Chinese, but I figure if I try, I've got to be saying something."
- Harland Williams

"When girls make out it sells videos, when guys make out it clears out a room."
- Chris Porter

"You know how hard it is to ditch someone on a plane?"
- Tom Griswold on traveling with Pat Godwin

"I just got fired from the zoo. Apparently I put the laughing hyenas and the mocking birds too close to the paranoid animals."
- Bruce Baum

"You're new album cover is a parody of something nobody will recognize. It's like doing a great impression of someone from your high school."
- Tom Griswold to Henry Phillips

"Comedy isn't always about laughs."
- Henry Phillips

"God doesn't care about the preseason."
- Daniel Tosh after seeing a guy celebrate a preseason touchdown by pointing toward the heavens

"I just want get so famous that I can hold press conferences."
- Daniel Tosh

"We're not doing a phoner with an f'n monkey!"
- Bob Kevoian at a recent staff meeting

"I'm not wearing any panties."
- Kristi Lee