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w w w . b o b a n d t o m . c o m           

August 30 - September 3 2004

September 3, 2004
Bad Cop, Worse Cop

Comedian Mike Armstrong was such a bad cop, when he left the force, three internal affairs officers had to be let go because there was no longer a need for their services. Whether he was pulling over motorists to warn them of speed traps down the road, monitoring birds with his radar gun or making U-Turns to avoid arriving on the scene of an accident, Armstrong personally helped strain police relations with the public without even trying. He may have struck fear in the hearts of everyone in town when he was working behind the badge, but now that he's a civilian and making a living on stage we all feel a whole lot safer.

 

September 3, 2004
Barnhart and Soul
Standup comedian Don Barnhart was one of the first ever graduates of the Second City Conservatory in Los Angeles. Since earning his diploma (we're assuming you get a diploma from them), he’s built a career touring the world, headlining comedy clubs over 200 nights a year dispensing his brand of physical facial expressions, witty, off-the-wall observations and upbeat, fast paced, improvisational comedy. In addition to his work on stage, Barnhart is also an accomplished actor and director. Along with a couple of national commercial spots, Barnhart recently wrote, starred and directed the movie China Dolls. He's also been seen in the films Species, In the Army Now and Apollo 13.

 

September 3, 2004
Notoriously Vague, But Surprisingly True
Now that Tim Bedore's popular segment, Vague But True has become a regular feature on the BOB&TOM show, we can't wait to find out what the topic of each new installment will be. Whether the inspiration for his editorials has been ripped from the headlines or is based on his own life experiences (such as last week's look at why people are so annoying), you know Bedore will be reporting them each week from his dinning room, comfortably seated in a big blue beanbag chair (that is, as long as the rat isn't in there). Bedore is currently performing his standup as part of the Four Stand-up Dads comedy tour.

 

September 3, 2004
Look Who's Coming to Dinner
Jonathan Silverman, famous for his appearances on the silver screen, is back in theaters this summer in the new film, The Cookout. You may recognize Silverman from his work in such comedy classics as Weekend at Bernie’s and Caddy Shack II, or maybe from his sitcom The Single Guy, but now he’s playing sleazy sports agent, Wes Riley, who’s just found out that he’s representing an NBA rookie with a guaranteed contract worth $30 million. The Cookout opens in theaters everywhere this weekend, but keep an eye out later this year for Silverman in the films DeMarco Affairs and Jekyll.

 

September 2, 2004
What's Summer Without a Cookout?
Actor and funnyman Tim Meadows has the distinct honor of being the longest tenured cast member in Saturday Night Live history. After spending nine consecutive seasons on the show, you could say he’s the Cal Ripkin Jr. of sketch comedy. In his life before SNL, Meadows earned his stripes as an actor working with the ImprovOlympica and Second City comedy troops in Chicago. These days Tim is following in the footsteps of many of his fellow SNL alumni by shifting his career toward work on the big screen. This summer, Tim is starring as "Uncle Leroy" in the film The Cookout, which opens up this weekend in theaters everywhere. In other news, Meadows is currently hanging out at the GOP convention in New York City where he’s serving as a special correspondent for the Dennis Miller Show on CNBC.

 

September 1, 2004
What's Going on in Phillip's Head?
Singer/songwriter/loveable loser Henry Phillips is one of the most clever comedians on the planet. His songs are often a tad out of the ordinary and tend to focus on the darker twisted side of life, but we find his soft spoken self-depreciating personality quite adorable. His demeanor may not show it but he's actually a fun guy to be around, especially if you've got a poker game going. Henry got his start in comedy as a folk singer, turning the depressing headlines from the daily news into the upbeat ballad, What Do You Want Me to Do About It? From these humble beginnings, Henry's gone on to release two outstanding comedy albums, containing comedy classics like On the Shoulders of Freaks, She’s Talkin' Again, and The Roommate From Hell, and he's became a top draw in clubs and colleges across the country.

 

September 1, 2004
Great Scott
If you happen to find yourself in the audience of a Bill Scott performance, don’t let his laid-back delivery fool you, otherwise you're going to be blindsided when he starts firing off a barrage of punch lines like a comedy machine gun. Though he’s not necessarily a dirty comedian, Scott never pulls his punches when plunging fearlessly into the darker and edgier realms of comedy. Scott is a standup veteran who’s been delivering his humorous monologues in clubs across the country, but this stop will mark his first ever appearance on the BOB&TOM Show.

 

August 31, 2004
In The Meantime
Fleetwood Mac has had its share of distinct sounds, styles and band members over the years, but the one common thread woven throughout all their best-known work have been the compositions of Christine McVie. Asked to join the band in 1970 in the middle of a lot of band member turnover, Christine became the song writer and was responsible for the majority of their classic hits including Why, Come a Little Bit Closer and Don’t Stop. Thirty years, two Grammy awards, fifteen albums and an induction into the Rock n’ Roll Hall of Fame later, Christine felt it was time to leave the band and settle down into a quieter life. That was before she began making music with her nephew Dan. The two never intended for their work to be released as an album, but low and behold, here it is, and it’s been selling very well. Christine’s new album, In the Meantime (her first solo project since 1997), features the hit song Friend, and is finally available here in the states.

FACTOID - Though people all over the world love her voice, Christine McVie can't stand to hear herself sing or even speak.

 

August 31, 2004
Bill Scheft, Everybody
Former standup comedian turned writer, Bill Scheft pens the the column "The Show" in Sports Illustrated, and is the author of one of the greatest novels of our generation, The Ringer, but right now he's first and foremost a sports fan. With the NFL season about to begin, Olympics coverage coming to an end and MLB action heating up, Bill has more than enough material to write about. Speaking of football, Scheft has to be in ecstasy knowing that his beloved Patriots are the favorites to win the Super Bowl this year. So if you see him, make sure you tell him that only one of the past four Super Bowl winners made it to the playoffs the following season. He'll appreciate your honesty. Aside from all this sports talk, Scheft is by far one of the most comically gifted geniuses we've ever had on the show, and ranks among our favorite guests (we've even had him sit in as a co-host when Bob was away).

 

August 31, 2004
Live From the GOP Convention
In what could be considered ambidextrous comedy, political satirist Will Durst can take on both the right and left sides of the aisle with ease. But this week, Will will be setting his sights on the right when he calls us live from the GOP convention in New York City. Most of the time though, Durst is an equal opportunity offender, nobody appearing in today’s headlines is safe from his keen wit and quick barbs. Aside from his work as a comedian, Durst was a contributing editor to both National Lampoon and George magazines, and continues to write for the likes of New York Times and the San Francisco Chronicle. Durst is a five-time Emmy nominee and host/co-producer of the award winning PBS series "Livelihood" and is a regular commentator on NPR and CNN. So whether you're a Republican, Democrat or the last remaining member of the Whig Party, you'll be able to appreciate his politically charged comedy.

 

August 31, 2004
Putting the "F" in Comedy
The Zany Report is back and only the kickoff of the 2004 NFL season could possibly compare to the excitement it brings. Bob Zany, legendary comic and all around great guy, has confirmed that there is a possibility that this could be his greatest edition of the Zany Report ever! If it's anything like past reports, prepare to laugh, at least once. Plus, get ready for another round of "Fix-the-Joke Baby" which will most likely feature a joke from last week's Report.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


"Shot glasses are just another way of the man keeping us down."
- Chick McGee while drinking on the show

" I used to plan my vacations around my suspensions."
- Mike Armstrong on being a bad cop

"I knew my wife and I were having problems when she started dating again."
- Don Barnhart

" If I was a white man, I wouldn't be this talented."
- Vince Morris

" When I am urinating, I never kid around."
- Tom Griswold

" That seven hour delay during the Olympics coverage was ridiculous. By the second week my TiVo was yawning."
- Bill Scheft

" The Lord isn't up at this hour. He needs his eight hours before He can do any lording."
- Tom Griswold

"I can't stand to hear myself sing, or even talk, which puts me at a bit of a disadvantage."
- Christine McVie

" The weather down in Tampa is wonderful, if you enjoy 97% humidity."
- Kevin Pollak

"I don't drink, so my family calls me an old soul. My friends just call me a loser."
- Mike Birbiglia

" Cosco is a lot like Woodstock without the music, mud or pot."
- Tim Bedore

" I tried to give myself more confidence when I ran a mini-marathon by signing in under a Kenyan name.
- Dave Dugan

"I'm not an elitist just because I would rather talk to anyone else but you."
- Tom Griswold to Chick

" I want to wrap your pants around my head like a banzai warrior."
- Chick McGee to Kristi Lee

" I wasn't at Woodstock, but I saw the movie."
- Tom Griswold

" I sat in my seat like a white mime."
- Pat Godwin as his tiny recorder was playing "My Penis is Smaller than Most"

" Pat is sort of like our long lost brother who was found frozen in a glacier. They thawed him out, but now he's not quite right."
- Chick McGee on Pat Godwin as a member of the family

" When I see someone ice fishing, I see someone who isn't happy at home."
- Steve Iott

"Alimony is a very sad thing."
- Bob Kevoian

" I think a lot of the sports in the Olympics were created just to make the competitors look stupid."
- Robert Hawkins

" I look at my life as a glass that I have to fill and maintain, but never get to drink out of."
- Tom Griswold

" When are you going to pick a day to be conscience."
- Chick McGee to Tom

" I'll be lucky if I walk away with $72 of the prize money."
- John Hefron on all the deductions taken out of the Last Comic Standing grand prize.

"If Chick were in it, it would be called Needle Dick and Doof?"
- Bob Kevoian on the German version of Laurel & Hardey, Dick & Doof

" It's easier to get an organ transplant that it is to swim with the dolphins at sea world."
- Robert Schimmel

" I didn't lose my testicle because of the cancer, it's just that my insurance has a really bad co-pay."
- Robert Schimmel

" Old people are big shoplifters."
- Chick McGee

"At one time during my sitcom, I was named the worst actor, and they didn't even specify television."
- Jeff Foxworthy