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w w w . b o b a n d t o m . c o m           

October 4 - 7 2005

Here's a Tip From Your Uncle Lar
Uncle Larry Reeb is the guy you do your best to keep the kids away from at the family reunions. Everybody has that relative, the one that wanders around the party, dispensing unsolicited, and often frightening advice to anyone and everyone within ear shot. And don't think you can find a topic he doesn't have an opinion on; you could be discussing the joys of raising children, nipple piercing, your last adulterous affair or even football. and Uncle Lar's still got a 'helpful' tip for you. "It's a sick world, and I'm a happy guy," says Reeb. "If this were a perfect world, I'd be unemployed."
 

Finding Love the Old Fashioned Way, Online
Comedian Sean Morey's songs usually contain very heartfelt and well thought out messages. His tune Ghost Chickens in the Sky examines poultry's plight against the farmer's ax, his Man Song discusses the power struggle between men and women and On the Internet is all about how hard it is to find love in today's society. The messages may not sound as profound when accompanied by his banjo, but if you can get past that, these songs might possibly teach you a little about life, love and even yourself. And if you really enjoy Sean's music, see if you can find him on any number of online dating services. We hear that's how he now spends the majority of his time.

 

Looking For Mr. Right
Comedian Jason Stuart is much more than just one of the best openly gay headlining stand-up's in the country, he's also a top-notch lecturer and comedic actor. With his one-man show, Looking For Mr. Right, Jason uses his humor to to entertain and inform audiences about what it's like to be a gay man living in Hollywood. And he should know, he's been popping up all over Hollywood. Stuart recently appeared on the new hit show House M.D. and also co-produced and starred in the new film, 10 Attitudes. Sitcom lovers may recognize him as the psychiatrist on My Wife and Kids, or during one of his multiple appearances on Will & Grace. Fans of his standup comedy can now listen to his act anytime they want by purchasing his first comedy album, Gay Comedy Without a Dress.

 

Proctober-fest
If you’re a man over 40, get ready to drop your drawers and assume the position. It’s everyone’s favorite part of the year, time for that always-exciting annual prostate exam. In celebration of “Proctober,” our very own Chick McGee will offer up his bum to the probing finger of a proctologist as an on-air reminder that men need to get checked every year. The National Prostate Cancer Coalition is making it even easier for guys to have this done with their purple and white “Butt Bus.” The Drive Against Prostate Cancer has given over 22 thousand free examinations to males across the country so far, meaning this vehicle has gotten more action than any other auto in history.

Side Note – Don’t just have this procedure done in the back of any old white cargo van with tinted windows and carpet on the walls, make sure it’s the official “Drive Against Prostate Cancer” performing the probing.

 

The Joys of A.D.D.
Back in school, comedian Robert Hawkins was diagnosed with Attention Deficit Disorder. And to think, all that time he just thought he was suffering from a sever case of not liking school. Turns out, that condition would rear it's ugly head again when he moved into the workforce. That's where he discovered he disliked having a job almost as much as getting an education. Needless to say, Hawkins was fired. However, he used this opportunity to join the military. After three years serving as an expert combat medic, Hawkins made the next logical career move and went into stand-up comedy, where he could fully utilize his ADD. Since then, Hawkins has released two comedy albums, worked as a writer and guest star on the sitcom Titus, and has appeared on Comedy Central Presents and Late Night with Conan O'Brien.

 
The Genius of
Heywood Banks

Heywood Banks might have been a late addition to this week's guest list, but we couldn't be happier to have our favorite "Toast" loving singer/songwriter in the studio. Armed with his ever-tuned guitar, and an adequate grasp of his hysterical lyrics, Heywood always does his best to make everyone's early mornings bright by sharing a few new tunes that will add to a full morning of mirth making. But if you can't wait and want to hear some classic Heywood, you can purchase his albums at ComedyHome.com. VIP members can get their fix even quicker by checking out the Heywood Banks Audio Page.
 

The Shroud of the Thwacker
Chris Elliott first appeared on the scene as a stand-up comic, but it was working as a writer for The Late Night with David Letterman that really launched his career. During his time there, his team of joke writers walked away with four Emmy awards and he became a regular on the show, appearing as a number of popular characters including "The Guy Who Lives Under the Seats." Elliot went on to star in his own underrated television series, Get a Life, and became a regular guest star on Everybody Loves Raymond, however, he's probably most recognized from his roles in the movies Groundhog’s Day, Cabin Boy, and There’s Something About Mary. Be on the lookout for Chris Elliott's name in bookstores when he releases his first novel, The Shroud of the Thwacker,

 

Nathan Trenholm
Nathan Trenholm is a quick witted, clever comedian who captures audiences with his surprising twists and rapid punch lines. Raised in Chicago, Nathan majored in Theatre at the University of Illinois, a skill that seems to have helped him in his post-graduate life. A veteran of the world famous Second City comedy team, Trenholm was the winner three standup competitions in Chicago before packed up his bags and moved to Los Angeles. Trenholm has been featured on Comedy Central’s Premium Blend.

 

It's Like Talking to Him on the Phone, Only Slightly Better
For almost a year now, Mike Birbiglia has been sharing his stories from the road in a little segment he likes to call his Secret Public Journal, now accompanied by a snappy little intro featuring the full BOB&TOM horn section. We're very excited to say that this week he'll actually be performing this reading live in the studio. And who knows, maybe he'll do a little standup comedy too, or course, he'll be doing it sitting down. When he's not busy writing, Mike can be found performing on the FRIENDS OF THE B&T SHOW COMEDY TOUR. He's also constantly adding new content to his website such as links to have his journal entries mailed right to you.and an ongoing search for the world's best pizza.

 

You've Heard Words to Remember...
Tim Bedore has been a weekly Wednesday fixture on the show with his Vague But True editorials, which is why we're so eager to find out what his next installment will be about. Over the past year, these musings have helped us learn a lot about Tim, including his daughter's relationship with their dog, his thoughts on creationism, a lonely trip down a gay nude beach, and his theory on how animals are trying to wipe out our species. But no matter the topic, we're happy he'll be reporting on it from his new home up north, where the introverts stare at their shoes and the extroverts stare at your shoes. Plus, make sure you stick around for the conclusion of VBT because Bedore now has a catchy little outro (now performed by the BOB&TOM singers) that you just can't help but sing along with. But remember, tempo is the key.

 

George Lopez, Starring George Lopez
Comedian George Lopez used to be a fixture in the BOB&TOM studio. Not only was he a regular on the show, he was also a frequent houseguest of both Bob and Tom. Back then, as a young, up and coming comedian, Lopez didn't have a lot, but he did always have beer money and a lot of good stories. Now the times have changed and our good buddy George Lopez is a superstar. He's got his own successful sitcom, George Lopez, on ABC, he's starring in the summer blockbuster film The Adventures of Shark Boy & Lava Girl in 3D, he was summoned to testify at the Michael Jackson trial and to top it all off, he's putting on sold out stand up comedy shows around the country. We're always happy to take a call from one of the funniest conversationalist we've ever had on the air, not to mention one of the gang's best friends. The new season of George Lopez continues this Wednesday on ABC

 

Long Time No See
It's been almost a year since we've seen comedian Scott Dunn, so needless to say he's going to have a lot to talk about. Scott Dunn began his post-college life by landing a really good job as a marketing manager for a Fortune 500 company. To most people this would be a dream come true, but for Scott, it was anything but. His real dream remained unfulfilled, as he would spend each night wishing he could put his talents as a comedic writer to better use, since his jokes weren’t really appropriate for or appreciated in the board room. Dunn soon left his white-collar life and chased his dream of becoming a comedic writer. Since that time, Dunn’s gone on to develop a successful comedy act as well as write for various programs on Comedy Central. Scott recently appeared on BOB&TOM’s album Camel Toe with one of the CD’s more obscure pieces, Roasting Jesus

 

Don't Look Now, It's Rodney Carrington
If you don’t watch TV or regularly listen to the BOB&TOM Show, then chances are you haven’t heard that good friend of the show Rodney Carrington has is own sitcom, Rodney. For everyone else, this is old news. And though Rodney’s now a big time TV star, he is still finding time to head out on the road and perform his standup comedy, which includes all the jokes and music he can’t get past the ABC censors. Along with making frequent stops to sold out arenas and theaters, Carrington is also popping up all over the place on TV to promote the second season of his show which has seen a steady climb in the ratings. Check out the season premiere of Rodney this Tuesday on ABC.

FACTOID – Rodney got his first record deal after he was heard performing the song "Fred" on the BOB&TOM Show

 

Who Knew Pot
Could be Funny?
As the longest running cast member in Saturday Night Live history (nine seasons), comedian/actor Kevin Nealon brought America a number of memorable characters including The Subliminal Man, Hanz and Franz, and Mr. No Depth Perception. He also held the coveted position as the host of "Weekend Update" where for years his tagline was "I'm Kevin Nealon, and that's news to me." That was many years ago, but fans of Nealon can rejoice because Kevin is headed back to television. This time he's starring in the new Showtime original comedy series, Weeds, which follows the life of Nancy Botwin, a recently widowed, suburban housewife turned pot dealer. Nealon plays the part of Nacy's business advisor/ best client, Doug Wilson. Weeds airs Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays at 10pm on Showtime.

 

Aren't We on the 'Do Not Call' List?
Comedian Bob Zany may not realize it by the way we treat him when he calls in, but he's our most eagerly anticipated guest each week. There are few comedians working today that have the guts it takes to come on a nationally syndicated radio show every week and perform all new material. Then to top it all off, he invites listeners to call in and fix the jokes that some (meaning Tom) have deemed 'virtually laugh free.' Sounds fun doesn't it? Catch The Zany Report every Tuesday so you too can play "Fix the Joke Baby" where the prize package includes CDs, t-shirts, and a BOB&TOM VIP membership.

 

He Will Not Be Mocked
There are only a handful of comedians that we refer to as ‘good friends of the show,’ but it’s hard to find a guy more deserving of this title than Drew Hastings. One of our favorite and most frequent visitors, it’s never a boring morning when Drew stops by. Whether he’s telling us about his life on the farm or arriving dressed in the latest in metrosexual fashion he never fails to give us more material to hold against him. Currently Drew is working on expanding his one-man show “Life & Other Short Stories,” and creating a mockumentary based on his alter ego, Jack Freeman. He also got a new dog, which we're sure to hear a lot about because you know it hasn't been a smooth transition. But when it involves Drew, what is?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


"They say that only 1% of the population is gay. If that's the case, I've slept with all of them."
- Jason Stuart

"Women say that gray hair is distinguishing. That's true. That's how they distinguish who to sleep with.
- Sean Morey on aging

"If I bought a box of 96 condoms, I'd have to leave some in my will. To my nephew, I leave 90 condoms."
- Larry Reeb on buying in bulk at Costco

"You look like a match stick."
- Bob Kevoian on Tom's red face (due to a medical procedure.)

"I accidentally walked in on my roommate and his girlfriend having sex. Fortunately they didn't see me for almost 10 minutes."
- Nathan Trenholm

"You know you've lost your sex appeal when you go to pay a hooker and she says it's free if you promise not to tell anybody."
- Robert Hawkins

"The new Da Vinci Code conspiracy is that Jesus was married. I don't know if that's true, but if it is, that would explain why he didn't stop his crucifixion."
- Scott Dunn on Marriage

"I've been playing a lot of Madden '06 recently. Just yesterday I was the Oakland Raiders and I went up against their arch rivals... the police."
- "Larry King"

"Philosophers have been trying to prove the existence of God since the beginning of time. Now Allstate has him traipsing around my yard."
- Drew Hastings on his insurance company denying his claim and calling it an act of God.

"It's called a plasma TV because you have to sell you own blood to afford one."
- Don McMillan

"I feel bad for prostitutes. With the way they dress, how are you supposed to distinguish them from 10th graders."
- Randy Lubas

"In your 20's you're single. When you're in your 30's you're just alone."
- Nick Griffin on not being in a relationship

"Liquor, bologna and Kleenex, that's all you need."
- Chick McGee on the only things that would be sold at a single guy's grocery store.

"I can't pick out cereal while facing west."
- Tom Griswold on his grocery store changing things around on him

"I don't believe in premarital sex. I'll still do it, I just don't believe in it."
- Eric Hunter on being catholic

"Has there ever been a pope with sideburns."
- Tom Griswold on Pontiffs and facial hair

" My girlfriend and I are trying to compromise more. She wants A, I want Z, so we've settled on something in the B-C range."
- Costaki Economopolous on working in relationships

"I still love my ex-wife. And so can you for $60."
- Dwight Slade

"They put directions on a box of Pop Tarts. Are there really people out there going "What do I do? How do I get this goodness in me?"
- Brian Regan on pointless directions

"At least you guys are good at what you do. As a traveling comedian I have to do radio with hacks like Wally and the Omelet."
- Christopher Titus on how some DJ's interrupt comics during the setup for a joke

"My goal is to have the most awkward first date ever."
- Auggie Smith on his contest to find a date to his ex-girlfriend's wedding

"I've started up on a new medication that has rendered my penis ineffective."
- Drew Hastings