Jokes
Audio clips
Events link Archives link Frequently asked questions link

w w w . b o b a n d t o m . c o m           

October 10 - 14 2005

In Todd We Trust
Todd Yohn doesn’t have the red hair anymore, but his new look hasn’t hampered his comedy in any way. His off the wall antics, improvisational comedy and catchy songs are as funny as ever. If you haven’t seen Todd perform live, you’re missing out on a show that Tommy G. calls one of the funniest ever. Yohn is a rare performer who can get audiences laughing with just a look or a lip quiver, but he doesn't rely solely on physical comedy. When he joins us in the studio, he comes equipped with his handy guitar and belts out tunes tunes like Orange Barrels, Feminine Hygiene, and Daddy Please Don't Go. In other news, Todd is also taking part in the juggernaut that is The Friends of the BOB&TOM Show comedy tour.

 

Win a Date With Auggie Smith
The ranting, raving, gun fighting comedian from Montana, Auggie Smith is looking for a date to his ex-girlfriends wedding. Though it may sound strange, Auggie is still on friendly terms with his ex, and actually wants to attend her special day, but he doesn't want to go stag. He also doesn't want to waste time looking for a date. Instead, one lucky listener of the BOB&TOM Show will win an all-expenses-paid weekend with a wildly talented comedian, where they'll get to disrupt his ex’s wedding, and at the same time experience the most awkward first date possible. For more information on this extraordinary offer, visit auggiesmith.com for complete rules and entry.

FACTOID - As far as we know Auggie has not gotten hair implants. Thios photo appears to be taken during the "comb" years.

FACTOID - Auggie Smith is one of the featured performers in this weekends Friends of the BOB&TOM Show Comedy Tour.

 

General Lee
Lee Levine began doing stand-up in San Francisco back in the late 90s, but after five years of developing his craft he decided to take his act to LA. Upon arriving in Hollywood, Levine immersed himself in improv comedy and sketch writing while at the same time perfecting his standup. It wasn’t long aft this that Levine had the honor of being selected to entertain US troops in Kyrgyzstan, Uzbekistan, Afghanistan, Qatar, Djibouti, Kuwait and Iraq. Lucky for him that after living in LA for a few years, he was used to performing in hostile environments.

 

Having A. Ball on the Air
f you saw this 6’5”, tattooed, goateed “freak for life” meandering around your neighborhood, you might be tempted to board up the doors and call the cops, but Allyn Ball is no one to be scared of. This punk rocker turned family man has been happily married man for over 20 years (to the same woman), has a 15 year old daughter, and is adjusting to life in the suburbs. Those who judge this comic by his outward appearance are in for quite surprise because Ball’s material is deceptively clever. In his own words, “Those who pay attention will be rewarded.”
FACTOID - Ball started his comedy career when he won first prize of $500 in a radio contest in Charleston, SC He then put some material together and began to tour.

 
Is There Anything
He Can't Do?

Good friend of the show Mark Sweeney is a professional comedian, and a very good one at that, but that hasn't always been his career. You could call Sweeney-San a jack of all trades, considering he's served as a bus boy, construction worker, real estate agent, bartender and copier repairman. In the arena of performing, he's also been an actor, appearing on TV shows like Boston Public, Third Rock From the Sun, and Days of Our Lives. But looking through his resume, the occupation that stands out most is the four years he spent in the US Marines, or as he puts it, a full time job partying around the globe.

FACTOID - Mark Sweeney is the oldest of six children, which he equates to being the emcee at a comedy club. You come out cold, have to break the ice and everyone expects you to suck
 

I Wonder If Tim Wilson Has An Opinion on...
No comedian causes more of a stir when they appear on the air than the southern singer/songwriter, Tim Wilson. Not to say we don’t find him hysterically funny, we just do everything in our power to disassociate with him and his absurd philosophies on society, politics and life in general (many of which can be found in the new piece,
The Aggravator). Along with his music, Wilson is recognized for his love of NASCAR and the state of Georgia and his distrust of almost everything else. Tim is one of the great comedic performers touring today, and it's a rarity when you go more than a week without hearing one of his tunes played on the BOB&TOM Show. Tim recently released a brand new album, The Real Twang Thang, which contains the popular songs Church League Softball, Dick Weasel Attorney at Law and My Wife's Running Around.

 

Kane is Able To Dance
Watching a Kenny Kane show is like seeing three or four people on stage at once. When he’s behind the mic, you never know which of his multiple personalities will be taking over. It might be the story teller, sharing tales about his family relationships, the motivational speaker who teaches people to add to humanities well-being instead of misery, or it might be the wacky, high energy former black belt, hip-hop dancer, soccer playing, track athlete. Sometimes, you’ll get more than one at a time. But no matter who you’re watching, you’re going to walk away worn out because not only will he keep you trying to catch your breath from laughing so hard, his jokes may just make you think.

 

You've Heard Words to Remember...
Tim Bedore has been a weekly Wednesday fixture on the show with his Vague But True editorials, which is why we're so eager to find out what his next installment will be about. Over the past year, these musings have helped us learn a lot about Tim, including his daughter's relationship with their dog, his thoughts on creationism, a lonely trip down a gay nude beach, and his theory on how animals are trying to wipe out our species. But no matter the topic, we're happy he'll be reporting on it from his new home up north, where the introverts stare at their shoes and the extroverts stare at your shoes. In other exciting news, Tim's new CD, Vague But True, is hot off the presses. Get your copy of this new CD featuring over 30 of Tim's best VBT's to date.

 

A Name
You Won't Forget

With a name like Stankos, he’s gotta be good. Originally from Chicago, Stan Stankos left for New York to develop his stand-up comedy. Now, with his finely tuned act consisting of quick, clean and clever topical jokes, Stan tours the country, performing in a new citry every week. If you check his schedule and see he’s not due back in your town for a few months, don’t fret. You can buy both of his live comedy albums, Stosh and Monkeyrodeo, on his website.

 

The NFL Song - Week 6
Week five of the NFL season has come to a close, so why not relive all the exciting action by tuning into Duke Tumatoe's The NFL Song. It's like having TiVo without the monthly fee. This week was all about the QB's. This week alone we saw the return of the ageless Vinny Testaverde to the Jets, Alex Smith get his first start as a 49er, Peyton Manning make sure his Colts remained he only undefeated team in the league, Tom Brady lead another Patriots last minute comeback and Josh McCown is create a QB controversy in Arizona. With all that action and more taking place on Sunday, Duke's got a lot of pressure on him to fit all this week's action into one exciting song. And don't forget about the always entertaining variety show, Bass Talk, and a recap of Chick's Shoe-In picks.

 

The Weasel No More
As the son of comedian Sammy Shore, the owner of the world famous comedy club, The Comedy Store, Pauly Shore knew he was pre-ordained for the entertainment industry. That opportunity came in the early 90’s when Shore exploded on the scene. With his standup comedy, MTV show, and multiple blockbuster movies roles, Shore was everywhere. Then came the late 90’s, a time when Pauly was dubbed “The Dethroned King of dumb-ass comedy.” But this wasn’t the end of Mr. Shore. Instead, he fought back with the mockumentary Pauly Shore is Dead, and reinvented himself for a return to standup comedy. He’s also back on television with the new show Minding The Store, airing on TBS.

 

Prepare to Be Blown Away
Comedian Bob Zany may not realize it by the way we treat him when he calls in, but he's our most eagerly anticipated guest each week. There are few comedians working today that have the guts it takes to come on a nationally syndicated radio show every week and perform all new material. Then to top it all off, he invites listeners to call in and fix the jokes that some (meaning Tom) have deemed 'virtually laugh free.' Sounds fun doesn't it? Catch The Zany Report every Tuesday so you too can play "Fix the Joke Baby" where the prize package includes CDs, t-shirts, and a BOB&TOM VIP membership.

 

Bill Scheft Is a Very Busy Guy!
Former standup comedian turned writer, Bill Scheft is the author of one of the greatest novels of our generation, The Ringer, and is currently finishing up his new novel, "Time Won't Let Me." He's also been busy writing for Denis Leary's Comedy Central Christmas special "Merry (bleepin') Christmas." His crystalline perspective on all topics, sports related in particular, is always pointed, always funny. In fact, Scheft is one of the most comically gifted geniuses we've ever had on the show.

FACTOID - Bill's work appears on the BOB&TOM album,
Odd Balls.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


"This isn't me picking a date. This is me rejecting 200 women."
- Auggie Smith on his "Win a Date" contest

"Shut up Randy, you couldn't get to third base with a bowling ball."
- Donny Baker on his boss' lack of experience

"They say that only 1% of the population is gay. If that's the case, I've slept with all of them."
- Jason Stuart

"Women say that gray hair is distinguishing. That's true. That's how they distinguish who to sleep with.
- Sean Morey on aging

"If I bought a box of 96 condoms, I'd have to leave some in my will. To my nephew, I leave 90 condoms."
- Larry Reeb on buying in bulk at Costco

"You look like a match stick."
- Bob Kevoian on Tom's red face (due to a medical procedure.)

"I accidentally walked in on my roommate and his girlfriend having sex. Fortunately they didn't see me for almost 10 minutes."
- Nathan Trenholm

"You know you've lost your sex appeal when you go to pay a hooker and she says it's free if you promise not to tell anybody."
- Robert Hawkins

"The new Da Vinci Code conspiracy is that Jesus was married. I don't know if that's true, but if it is, that would explain why he didn't stop his crucifixion."
- Scott Dunn on Marriage

"I've been playing a lot of Madden '06 recently. Just yesterday I was the Oakland Raiders and I went up against their arch rivals... the police."
- "Larry King"

"Philosophers have been trying to prove the existence of God since the beginning of time. Now Allstate has him traipsing around my yard."
- Drew Hastings on his insurance company denying his claim and calling it an act of God.

"It's called a plasma TV because you have to sell you own blood to afford one."
- Don McMillan

"I feel bad for prostitutes. With the way they dress, how are you supposed to distinguish them from 10th graders."
- Randy Lubas

"In your 20's you're single. When you're in your 30's you're just alone."
- Nick Griffin on not being in a relationship