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w w w . b o b a n d t o m . c o m           

October 13 - 17

Poetry in Motion
Comedian, poet, and culinary connoisseur Paul Gilmartin is often recognized by astute television audiences as one of the hosts of TBS Superstation's long running program,
"Dinner and a Movie." Every Monday, Gilmartin hosts a topnotch feature film while at the same time giving out instructions and recipes to viewers so they can prepare a perfectly themed meal to enjoy during the show. For example, while watching this week's feature, Cable Guy , why not enjoy "Channel Surf & Turf." Though you rarely see Gilmartin actually cook anything, he claims his skills in the kitchen are second to none (except for maybe the professional chef that co-host the program). We're not yet sold on his cooking but we do know he can serve up some mean poetry. Classics like Sister Joan, Tim the Die-hard Packer Fan, and Undignified Ways to Die are highly requested bits on the B&T Show and have captivated the hearts and imaginations of an entire generation.
Check out Some of Paul's Poems on his VIP Audio Page

 

Two Firemen in a Smoke Filled Room...
Due to his notorious reputation and all the stories that circulate about him, we're always a bit nervous to hear that comedian John Fox will be our guest in the studio. Fox is a legend among his peers in the comedy community for being one of the dirtiest joke tellers on the standup circuit, including his world famous opening joke about the two firemen caught in a compromising position. However, Fox is even more notorious for his offstage antics, most of which were captured in Pat Godwin's loving tribute,
The Legend of John Fox, including his fondness for hookers, porn, booze and leaving his condo a mess (that's why we're hoping to convince him to take two free biozones with him to help rid his condo of the stench of ass and cat food). If you're still curious about the man, the myth, the legend... check out the John Fox VIP Audio Page and all your questions will be answered. But be warned, you may feel the need to shower when you're done.

 

Little Comedian,
Big Laughs
Angel Salazar is not your typical comedian... something you may figure out when he walks on stage wearing a mini-skirt. Wardrobe aside, Salazar's got a unique performance that’s a mixture of street-smart ethnic wisecracks, risqué humor, physical comedy, and audience involvement. So be prepared to become part of the act when you take your seat. Angel‘s also enjoyed success in the film industry including roles in films like Scarface, Carlito's Way, and Where the Buffalo Roam. He may be a pint-sized comedian, (sort of like Jimmy Pardo), but the laughs are big enough to make up for it. Besides... we've always been told that size doesn't matter.

 

The Best of the Midwest
Comedian Jim Gaffigan was a fish out of water, or as he saw it, an immigrant from a strange land when he first arrived in New York over 10 years ago. Where was this far off place Gaffigan called home before moving to the big-apple? No, it wasn’t overseas or even outer space... it was a small town in the midwest. But Jim's story of an Indiana native turned big city star was the inspiration for his short lived, yet critically acclaimed sitcom “Welcome To New York.” This series didn’t last long on network television but that hasn't kept Jim off the small screen. Since then, Gaffigan has appeared on “Sex in the City,” all three “Law & Order” series, "The Ellen Show," and has reoccurring roles on upcoming episodes of “That 70’s Show,” and “Ed.” Though Gaffigan's acting career keeps him busy, he hasn’t forgotten his comedic roots and continues to perform his stellar standup routine in comedy clubs across the country.

FACTOID – Jim Gaffigan was approached to create his sitcom after his first time performing on “The Late Show with David Letterman.”

 

The Halloween Spirit
Marilene Isaacs is a nationally known Intuitive Counselor (something like a psychic) and Spiritual Teacher with over 30 years of experience. She has dedicated her life to the actualization of unconditional love and truth, but today she's taking a break from all that to give the cast some seasonal Halloween readings. When not performing readings over the phone or in person, Marilene is also a public speaker, intuitive therapist, spiritual teacher, animal communicator, healer of people, places & animals and makes regular appearances on radio and television. Try fitting all that on a business card.

 

October 15, 2003
John Rathbone
John Rathbone is a comedian who brings a ton of talent and loads of experience to the stage with him every time he performs. And while it may get crowded up there with all that baggage, people have been finding his headlining act exceptionally funny for over 20 years. Charming, funny, experienced… what more could you want in a man that doesn’t look like Brad Pitt, or play QB as well as Brett Favre? John was an actor (at age 6), a debate champion (in college), and has been a successful standup comic since ’81, performing in over 5000 shows all across the country.

 

October 15, 2003
The NFL Song - Week 6
Week six of the NFL season is in the books, and who better to recap all the action than Duke Tumatoe with his popular, bluesy musical review of the week that was, The NFL Song. In what turned out to be an exciting weekend of football we had all three undefeated teams (that weren't on bye) putting in overtime, Chick's Redskins getting destroyed by the Bucs, and the Rams going for almost 500 yards of total offense against the Vick-less Falcons. This leaves a lot a material for Duke to work with this week so don't you dare miss it, or else we might buy the Arizona Cardinals and move them to your town. Nobody wants that! Plus, you can't miss another impromptu NFL Song "halftime report" by our very own sports doctor, Chick McGee.

 

October 14, 2003
Insaney for Zany

Comedian Bob Zany is often denied the laughs his legendary Zany Reports truly deserve. Even though each week is a constant struggle, Zany hasn't given up his personal mission to deliver a Report that not only requires zero fixing, it also gets everyone in the studio to laugh (out loud)... at least once. While we can't promise that will be the case this week, we can guarantee that there will be another exciting episode of America's Favorite game show "Fix the Joke Baby (Live)" to save the segment. And once again some lucky fan will win a few T-shirts, Zany's fabulously funny CD, I Just Can't Win Baby, and a very valuable one year subscription to the BOB&TOM VIP site. Who knows, we might even be treated to another Bing Crosby joke of the week... buh buh buh.

 

October 13, 2003
Patrick "The Tick" Warburton Returns to TV
Patrick Warburton has made a living making memorable guest appearances on television programs. Any true “Seinfeld” fan would recognize Warburton as Elaine’s on again off again boyfriend Puddy, but most people love him for his portrayal of the big blue oddball spandex suited superhero, “The Tick.” Along with those TV classics, he’s also had major roles on “NewsRadio,” “Ellen,” “Murphy Brown” “Malcolm in the Middle,” and Mad About You.” Famous for his deep voice and dry deadpan delivery, Warburton has been cast in a number of cartoons including “Family Guy,” “Buzz Lightyear,” and Disney’s feature The Emperor’s New Groove. This Tuesday, Patrick returns to television on the ABC comedy "Less than Perfect."

 

October 13, 2003
King of the Jungle
Since early in his childhood, Jeff Corwin has been an animal nut. His work in helping the conservation of endangered species and ecosystems around the world has made him somewhat of a superstar in the animal community. He became a hit with children back in 1997 after co-creating and hosting the Disney Channel's popular television series, “Going Wild With Jeff Corwin” which showed kids the importance of wildlife in a fun and educational way. Jeff is still working with animals but has moved his operations to the network made exclusively for critters, Animal Planet. Jeff is pulling double duty on the network hosting the very popular program “The Jeff Corwin Experience,” as well as the brand new show “King of the Jungle.” On “King,” 12 animal experts compete in a series of challenges in hopes of winning their very own show on Animal Planet. Catch "King of the Jungle" when it premiers October 13 on Animal Planet.

 

 



"Can you pose dead people like the world's biggest G.I. Joe?"
- Chick McGee

"My wife is left handed so it looks bad when I box her."
- Killer Beaz

"Visa's got a hitman looking for me."
- John Fox

"A Cuban is a Puerto Rican with a boat."
- Angel Salazar

"They're are two easy passages into the US for Cubans... the American League and the National League."
- Angel Salazar

"We've gone through space like a 99¢ store... there's nothing left. Why are the Chinese going up there?"
- Paul Gilmartin

"They make vegetarian Hot Pockets now... for those of us that don't eat meat, but still want diarrhea."
- Jim Gaffigan

"The key to good parenting is to not talk to your children."
- Bob Kevoian

"I've never knew my birth parents so I don't know anything about my heritage. All I know about my culture is that they give their kids away."
- John Rathbone on being adopted

"I love smoking. I even wear the patch at night just so I don't miss out on getting nicotine."
- John Rathbone

"In Paris, KY do they have the Eiffel Silo?"
- Tom Griswold

"My golden rule is to have a big fat camera man. I can't outrun a bear, but I can outrun that camera guy."
- Jeff Corwin

"The difference between the doctor's office and prison is the lubrication."
-Bob Kevoian on prostate exams

"I want to wear Chick's ass like a hat."
- From a letter to BOB&TOM

"The cup said it was safe when I poured the coffee on my penis."
- Tom Griswold on a cup that tells you the temperature of the drink

"Masturbation is the highway to health."
- Chick McGee

"It's not rock n' roll without a finger up your butt."
- Kristi on Procktober

"When I'm in the bathroom, it sounds like a drug bust."
- Chick McGee

"That will dry things up real quick."
- Gunner on the guy who asks women to wear his dead wife's close during blind dates

"The head of my penis was so shiny I could fix my hair in it."
- Drew Hastings after using Viagra