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w w w . b o b a n d t o m . c o m           

October 22 - 26, 2007


The Root of All Evil
He's indignant, he's exasperated, he's "America's foremost commentator on everything," he's comedian Lewis Black and he'll soon be starring in his own show on Comedy Central called Root of All Evil. But Black is no stranger to Comedy Central viewers, his satirical, comedic commentary on the perils of everyday life, Back in Black, is one of the most popular segments on The Daily Show With Jon Stewart. Born and raised on the East Coast, Black attended Yale where he began a career as an actor and a playwright. He soon found himself on tour, working in theaters across the country. This would in turn lead him into standup comedy, where now he is one of the most sought after headliners working today. Black is also a regular on Late Night with Conan O'Brien and has been featured in a number of movies and TV shows.

FACTOID
- Lewis Black has authored over 40 plays that have been produced in theaters across the country, including "Czar of Rock and Roll" and "The Deal."

JORDAN WARD illustration

 

The Life and Times
of Dan Grueter

When you're the youngest of eleven kids it's predestined that you're either going to turn out crazy or funny. Although in Dan Grueter's case, he turned out to be both. Grueter has been described as a comedian who's more well rounded than a urinal mint. While we're not quite sure how this comparison applies in any context, we do know that Dan is one of our favorites (comedians, not urinal mints). Grueter's made multiple appearances on B&T albums over the years, sharing stories from his life. For example, we've learned what it was like to sit through his never-ending Catholic wedding, how inept he is at interviewing for a job, and his alma-mater's love of college football.

 

You're the Best Around
As a young boy growing up in Massachusetts, Wali Collins knew he wanted to be the best at something, but he wasn’t quite sure what that something was going to be.  He began his quest as a drummer, becoming one of the best in the area.  He played for a number of bands, and even became the youngest player to ever join the New England Jazz Society.  And though that was fun, he still wanted more.  After toying with the idea of becoming the area’s greatest architect, he decided it would be more feasible take a stab at standup comedy.  After only a few times on stage, Wali became a hit and was soon traveling the world, telling jokes.  And while he may not be known as the best yet, he’s making his way up the ladder quickly.  He’s been seen on HBO, The View, The Late Show with David Letterman and as the host of Comedy Central’s Stand Up Stand Up.

 

Fish & Paint
A lawyer walks into a bar, and after pounding a few beers decides to become a standup comedian. This may sounds like the opening to a bad joke, but it's actually the story of comedian Dan Kaufman, give or take a few mundane details. Once upon a time Kaufman was a successful attorney, but that all changed once he decided he no longer wanted to do any kind of actual work to make a living. Soon after, Kaufman left the courtroom and followed his dream of performing in front of a crowd that didn't have to deliberate after each show. And while we'll admit he's grown into a great comedian, he's musical skills could use a little work. See Fish & Paint on the BOB&TOM album Sideshow.

 

He’s a Little
Bit Special

Stephen Lynch has a knack for making people in his audience laugh and squirm at the same time. We credit this phenomenon to the unusually dark and slightly demented songs he plays on stage including ones about losing a gerbil in a very private place, having only one testicle, being Jesus' partying brother or wanting to sleep with his girlfriend’s sister (she’s a teacher at a junior high school.) Though disturbing, Lynch’s songs are all in good fun and often very beautiful… but make sure you catch them the first time around, because who knows if we’ll ever be allowed to play them on the air again.

 

The South Will Rise Again
We received the news only a short time ago that we'd be joined in the studio by comedian Tim Wilson. But that's no surprise, we know he likes to keep his visits a secret so that Bob doesn't call in sick once he's found out. All kidding aside, Mr. Wilson is one of our absolute favorite guests and he's a a true "friend of the show." However, no comedian causes more of a stir when they appear on the air than the southern singer/songwriter (that's why he's the only one who has his own disclaimer). Along with his music, Wilson is recognized for his love of NASCAR and the state of Georgia and his distrust of almost everything else.
Need proof? Just pick up a copy of his new album, But I Could Be Wrong.

 
The Guitar Stylings of Warren Haynes
You wouldn’t know it from listening to Warren Haynes play, but there was a time when he was much more into the Motown sound than guitar. It was only after being turned on to Eric Clapton by his older brothers that he picked up the six-string. Not long after discovering the pleasures of guitar playing, Warren found himself performing at a local pizza parlors that had been converted into a nightclub. Even in this small club, it didn't take Haynes long to be discovered, which led to him joining the Allman Brothers for eight very good years and five even better albums. And though he continues to play with the Allman Brothers from time to time, he's currently on the Mighty High Tour with his other band, Gov’t Mule, for which he's provides guitar and lead vocals.
 

Not a Fan of Nine-to-Five
Who wouldn’t be happy with a highly respected position at a ‘Big Five’ accounting firm as a Certified Public Accountant. John Garrett, that’s who. Not satisfied being one of the few accountants with a good sense of humor, he preferred instead to be one of the only standup comedians in the world with a CPA. Now he can take the stage at colleges and clubs around the country and poke fun at the corporate world he couldn’t wait to leave, and he’s having a great time doing it. He can also help other comedians with their taxes, that is, if he can find some that file them.

 

The Serious Side
of Ron Livingston

Though he first made us laugh in the films Swingers and Office Space, Golden Globe winner Ron Livingston is proving he can be just as effective in dramatic roles. In the movie Holly, Livingston plays Patrick, an American stolen artifacts dealer who is befriended by a 12 year old Vietnamese girl who has been sold into prostitution. Together they do what they can to help her escape her horrible fate. Then there's the film festival favorite, Music Within, a touching true story about a Vietnam vet who's lost his hearing, but finds a new purpose in fighting for the rights of disabled Americans.

 

JORDAN WARD illustration

 

Conversation Starter
Comedian Costaki Economopoulos may be the star of our most oddly named segment, but it also happens to be one of the funniest. Since it's debut a few months ago, The Economonologue, as he's dubbed it, has covered a variety of topics including strange superstitions, odd phobias and the origin of clichés. Costaki's able to take the things he sees and hears in everyday life and turn turn them into comedic observations you won't be able to believe you haven't thought of before, and will never be able to forget. In other news, Costaki is just one of the comedians taking part in the huge BOB&TOM All-Stars Comedy Tour. Also on the tour, his close personal friend, Caroline Rhea.

 

Book of Secrets
How could Mike Birbiglia's have known that the private musing he recorded in his personal diary would eventually become the most sought after literature in America? We doubt he did, (and we're also not sure that it is indeed the most sought after literature) but that doesn't change the fact that his Secret Public Journal has taken the country by storm. Because of this, he's made it a point to not only e-mail his loyal fans his inner most thoughts on a regular basis, he also calls into the BOB&TOM show every so often to read his entries live on the air. Will his next selection cover his infatuation with pizza, problem with sleepwalking, brother Joe, fear of bears or alter ego "Sleepy Carl." We can only hope. And if you happen to miss him on the show, you can correct your mistake by seeing him live on stage during his Secret Public Comedy Tour.

JORDAN WARD illustration

 

RIGHT - The Birbiglia A-Team van

 

Halloween with Heywood
It's been 20 years since Heywood Banks made his first appearance on the show, and he's been a fixture ever since., From his first hits like Toast and Flies Eyes to his more recently classics like Trauma to the Groin and Big Butter Jesus, Heywood has appeared on almost every B&T album and is one of our most frequent guests. Armed with his ever-tuned guitar, and an adequate grasp of his hysterical lyrics, Heywood will be joining us in the studio to share a new tune with us, and we hear it's the third installment in his Halloween trilogy. Heywood also just released the brand new album, Big Butter, which is available with all his other CDs at comedyhome.com

 

The Timeless Tales of Tim Bedore
Whether he's in the studio, on the phone, or on his special ISDN line live from his home, comedian Tim Bedore joins BOB&TOM every Wednesday to bring us a new edition of his popular weekly feature, Vague But True. In these musings, Tim talks about whatever is on his mind at the time, whether that be politics, life lessons, or stories on how animals are trying to wipe out the human race. But no matter the topic, folks all over the country are glued to their radios waiting to hear what Bedore has to say, and what sound effects he'll play. And if you happen to be one of those people, here's some good news, Tim's most popular pieces from the last few years have been compiled into a spectacular two-CD set, Vague But True, which is available now!

 

All in a Huff
Stewart Huff is an established comic known for his clean and clever material. His high-energy storytelling style is winning over audiences in clubs all over the country. Stewart is on the cutting edge of the trend toward original television-friendly humor. Huff’s unique choice of material is what sets him apart. He covers topics ranging from majoring in "Rodeo" in college to what exactly made Henry VIII so popular with the women. Stewart’s unique, clean material, energetic delivery and comfortable stage presence make for a night of non-stop laughter.
See Stewart in action on MySpace

 

Football Highlights
You Can Dance To

After a wild weekend of football, is there any better way to catch up on all the action than through song? We didn't think so either, which is why we've once again asked Duke Tumatoe's to join us in the studio to talk about the weekend that was and fill us in on all things NFL with his aptly named NFL Song. Why ESPN hasn't caught on to this tradition we have no idea.

JORDAN WARD illustration

 

Let's Go to the Phones
It’s time again for everyone’s favorite weekly feature, The Zany Report starring comedy legend Bob Zany. In case you’re new to the show or are unfamiliar with the concept of The Zany Report, we’ll explain how it works. Every Tuesday, Bob Zany calls in to deliver a handful of jokes based on current events and comical news stories. Though his intention is to present a report that is hilarious from top to bottom, it doesn’t always work out this way. Of course as good hosts, BOB&TOM are always kind enough to point out which of his jokes came up a little short in the laughs department. This is where you the listener come into play because Zany then invites a lucky fan to call in and fix one of his flat punch lines in a little game he calls Fix-The-Joke Baby! Sounds easy, doesn’t it? To find out more, got to bobzany.com, baby!

 
Tuesday's Guest

More with Joe Theismann
Nothing in life makes the Chickster happier than his beloved Washington Redskins, which is why former 'Skins QB Joe Theismann decided to stick around after the show went off the air on Friday, to chat a little longer with the guys. Of course we kept the mics on for this little discussion so that Chick could relive this moment in time over and over again, with the first replay coming on Monday morning. They talked about Chick's huge man-crush on Theismann, what it was like to play in the NFL, and the current state of football broadcasters. Joe also took the time to remind guys of the importance of having their prostate checked. For more info about prostate health awareness
visit www.prostatecare.com

 
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Sports According
to Bill Scheft
Bill Scheft writes monologues for The Late Show with David Letterman, wrote "The Show" in Sports Illustrated, and is the author of the highly acclaimed novel, The Ringer, but right now he's first and foremost a sports fan. And though it was a slow summer for sports, now that fall is upon us, Bill has more than enough to write about with the World Series about to start, the NFL in full swing, and the NBA gearing up. But even if you're not a sports nut, or can't stay up late enough to watch Dave, Bill's also got a Thurber Prize nominated novel, Time Won't Let Me that you're sure to enjoy..

 
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Roasting History
In the world of the BOB&TOM Show, Scott Dunn has become famous for his celebrity roasts and the ability to turn any event in history, no matter how obscure, into a comedy routine. So far he's skewered Ben Franklin, the Burr Hamilton dual, the Louisiana Purchase, George Washington, first Thanksgiving, and even the funeral of Abraham Lincoln. Now each Monday, Scott surprises us with a new history lesson in which you're guaranteed to laugh and might even learn a little something too.

 

 

 

 


"When I'm 80 years old, just sign me up for a nice bowl movement."
-Tom Griswold on Hef and getting older

"My dog will talk your ear off if you let him."
- Dan Grueter on giving his dog a redneck voice

"They show too many commercials at the movies. That's the biggest crime in the world."
- Bob Kevoian

"The only difference between southern sodomy and prison rape is their taste in music."
- Tom Griswold

"I bet gay guys have sex all the time because there aren't any women to tell them no."
- Larry Reeb

"My to-do list consists of women's names and drugs."
- Shane Mauss

"Joe Theismann won't be here for another four hours so you may want to hold off on taking that Viagra."
- Tom Griswold to Chick McGee

"Ladies, if you don't want to date a drunk, don't go shopping at the drunk store."
- Shane Mauss on women picking up men in bars

"If I stopped drinking scotch, Johnny Walker would have to get rid of one of their trucks."
- Ron White

"Are you at all self sufficient?"
- Tom Griswold to Ron White

"I played basketball in highschool and they used to call me the mailman. Not because I was good, but because I used to shoot up the locker room after a bad loss."
- Rob Haney

"I like the WNBA. There is nothing like a two-hour layup drill."
- John Evans

"Even for a racist, race is way down on the list of reasons to hate Barry Bonds."
- Costaki Economopoulos

"I used to call myself a communist because it pissed off my parents, and I didn't have the guts to say I was gay."
- Tom Rhodes on rebelling

"Buggers can't be choosers."
- Tom Griswold

"Putting comedy in a music festival is like hiding a message in porn. Nobody is going to notice."
- Doug Stanhope

"You don't realize how bad your teeth look until you shave your head."
- Doug Stanhope

"Comedians feel the same way about Gallagher that vampires do about Count Chocula."
- Pat Dixon

"For the good of the show, you two need to knock one out."
- Chick McGee to Kristi Lee and Tommy G.

"I'm too professional, I'd never hit on a co-worker."
- Tom Griswold

"You see the condom as half empty, I see the condom as half full."
- Drew Hastings on his fantasy date with Kristi Lee

"Body odor is nature's alarm clock and a lot of people from my home town are hitting the snooze alarm."
- Mario DiGiorgio

"Men have to feel shame about there genitals otherwise society breaks down. "
- Scott Dunn on keeping it in your pants.

"If Anna Nicole Smith was the Marilyn Monroe of our age, then Weekend at Bernie's was our Gone with the Wind."
- Tom Segura

"My wife bought me a natural deodorant. It said right there on the packaging, "Does Not Work.""
- Jim Gaffigan on the "Green" lifestyle

"Don't smoke weed with ugly women, it's a waste. You can drink a girl fine, but you can't smoke a girl fine."
- Geoff Brown

"A threesome has never been one of my fantasies, but when someone offers, it becomes one really quick."
- David Crowe

"I like a woman with a past. A skank with books."
- Drew Hastings on his preferred type of woman

"The only way you meet women on the farm is if their car breaks down."
-Drew Hastings