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November 5 - 9, 2007

Don't Tell Bob Tim Wilson's Stopping By
We received the news only a short time ago that we'd be joined in the studio by comedian Tim Wilson. But that's no surprise, we know he likes to keep his visits a secret so that Bob doesn't call in sick once he's found out. All kidding aside, Mr. Wilson is one of our absolute favorite guests and he's a a true "friend of the show." However, no comedian causes more of a stir when they appear on the air than the southern singer/songwriter (that's why he's the only one who has his own disclaimer). Along with his music, Wilson is recognized for his love of NASCAR and the state of Georgia and his distrust of almost everything else.
Need proof? Just pick up a copy of his new album, But I Could Be Wrong.

 
 

He's Done It All
Comedian Mike Armstrong was such a awful cop that when he left the police force three internal affairs officers and two PR representatives lost their jobs because there was no longer a need for their services. Whether he was pulling over motorists to warn them of speed traps down the road, monitoring birds with his radar gun or making illegal U-Turns to avoid arriving on the scene of an accident, Armstrong personally helped strain police relations with the public without even trying. Though his job as an officer was to protect and serve, we feel a whole lot safer now that he's taken off the badge. Mike has released his first comedy album, Comedy Police, which is available at the BOB&TOM webstore. You'll buy it if you know what's good for you.

 

Blaze of Glory
Having worked in just about every type of venue possible, Tommy Blaze can comfortably be called a true veteran of comedy. From colleges and cruise ships to corporate events and comedy clubs, Blaze (which is in fact a stage name) has done it all. But his resume extends well beyond the confines of the stage; Blaze is also a veteran of both film and TV. He was a series regular on the nightly comedy series The Newz, appeared in the hit show Friends and has starred in the movies Rumpelstiltskin and Viewer Discretion Advised. And though he admits that his comedy is opinionated, thoughtful, controversial and one sided, you should find something to laugh about, no matter who or what you are. Tommy's also got an online journal and a brand new comedy album,Vagitarian.

 
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It's Not Crossing the Picket Line If He Doesn't Write the Jokes Down
Bill Scheft writes monologues for The Late Show with David Letterman (well, not at the moment), wrote "The Show" in Sports Illustrated, and is the author of the highly acclaimed novel, The Ringer, but right now he's first and foremost a sports fan. And with his Red Sox becoming World Series champions, his Patriots dominating the NFL, and Celtics entering the season as the toast of the NBA, Bill's also a very happy guy. But even if you're not a sports nut, or the WGA refuses to let him write jokes for Dave, Bill's also got a Thurber Prize nominated novel, Time Won't Let Me that you're sure to enjoy.

 

Auggie's Got Something to Say
The ranting, raving comedian from Montana, Auggie Smith is heading back to the studio and you'd better believe he's entering the studio with his guns blazing. Because Aug finds his material in the absurdities of everyday people, situations and politics, he's never had a problem finding new targets on which to take aim . Be warned, if you listen to Smith's ranting long enough, you too will find yourself following "The Word of Aug." But is that really such a bad thing? Auggie has appeared on two previous B&T albums including Happy Hour, on which he talks about the time he had to drive his dad home from the bar when he was only 9 years old.

 

Tickle Me Emo
Comedian Emo Philips is more than just a unique look and an unmistakable voice, he's also one of the absolute masters of comedic misdirection. When Emo starts telling a joke, it's easy to lose your place because it's never quite clear where he's going until he gets there. But the journey is always worth it because at the end of every setup is a punchline that's funny and completely unpredictable. Emo's been in the stand-up industry for many years and in that time has released a number of great comedy albums. His first two are considered to be among the best ever released and and have been repackaged into one great set.

 

Voices of the Sixties
Tom Brokaw began his relationship with the American Public back in 1976 as the anchor of NBC's daily morning show, Today. He then moved his anchoring duties down the hall and later in the day when he became the sole anchor and managing editor of NBC Nightly News. It was in 2004 when he gave up his news desk to new anchor Brian Williams, but that wouldn't mean Brokaw would disappear. Instead he changed hats once again and is now the author four best-selling books including The Greatest Generation. In his new book, Boom!: Voices of the Sixties, Brokaw again analyzes the people of an important American decade to find out how those years shaped their lives, and how those events are still shaping our country today.

 

An Optimistic Comedian?
It's a well known fact that for most part, comedians are bitter and angry people. But every rule has an exception, and in this case, that exception is Jim Sibley a man who actually loves life and considers himself an optimist. What in the hell is going on? Described as original, fun and exciting, Jim tries to keep his comedy clean and upbeat. And as odd as that combination may sound, it still translates into funny stuff.

FACTOID - James Sibley gets additional work as a voice-over guy for a number of commercials though you may not recognize him without his distinct southern drawl.

 

Costaki
Economop-oh forget it.
Of all the guests we regularly have on the show, comedian Costaki Economopoulos possesses the longest and most difficult name to spell, by far. And while we can't stand having to type it out each week, we do look forward to his calls. In his Economonologues (another word we dread) he gets the chance to cover any and everything that has popped into his head in the past seven days. These topics have included strange superstitions, odd phobias and the origin of common clichés. Costaki's able to take the things he sees and hears in everyday life and turn turn them into comedic observations you won't be able to believe you haven't thought of before, and will never be able to forget.

JORDAN WARD illustration

 

Here He Is...
Whether he's in the studio, on the phone, or on his special ISDN line live from his home, comedian Tim Bedore joins BOB&TOM every Wednesday to bring us a new edition of his popular weekly feature, Vague But True. In these musings, Tim talks about whatever is on his mind at the time, whether that be politics, life lessons, or stories on how animals are trying to wipe out the human race. But no matter the topic, folks all over the country are glued to their radios waiting to hear what Bedore has to say, and what sound effects he'll play. And if you happen to be one of those people, here's some good news, Tim's most popular pieces from the last few years have been compiled into a spectacular two-CD set, Vague But True, which is available now!

 

The NFL Song
Those of you who watched "Super Bowl XLI 1/2" (AKA the Colts vs. Patriots game) this weekend might have missed the fact that there were 13 other games played. But don't worry, Duke Tumatoe didn't take his eyes off of the ball, which means he can once again give you the bluesy musical recap of all the football action you've come to know and love. He calls it the NFL Song, but you can just call it your favorite part of Wednesday morning.

JORDAN WARD illustration

 

He's All Smiles
Doing stand-up comedy since 1987, mostly because he’s funny and hates having a boss, Nick Griffin has fine-tuned his act to become one of the most well rounded, if not most depressed, comics today. His comical observations cover just about everything (including fashion, love and Einstein), so as long as you are interested in something, Nick will have you rolling in the aisles in no time. Griffin has been featured on Comedy Central's Premium Blend and The Late Show with Craig Kilborn, The BOB&TOM Comedy All-Stars Tour and has also written for The Keenan Ivory Wayans Show. He may be dark, cynical, sound depressed and have a real problem getting along with women, but Griffin is still a must see if he performs in a club near you.

JORDAN WARD illustration

 

Extreme Image Makeover
Over the past year Paul Mecurio has called in to share his helpful tips on how certain public figures, holidays and inanimate objects, could easily change their public images, and we're happy to say that this Tuesday, he'll be sharing his newest installment. Aside from makeovers, Mecurio is also a talented writer and comedian. He won an Emmy Award as a writer for Comedy Central's The Daily Show and makes regular appearances on MSNBC and FOX News as a political satirist.

 

When His Jokes Break, You Fix Them
It’s time again for everyone’s favorite weekly feature, and only the recent tip-off of the NBA season could possibly compare to the excitement it brings. Bob Zany, legendary standup comedian, Telethon Host and all around great guy, is ready to run the comedy gauntlet once again in hopes of getting the entire cast to laugh, at least once! And even if he can't complete this mission with his Zany Report alone, he'll also come prepared with a new installment of Fix the Joke, Baby to save the segment. Because as we know, things are always funnier when there's free stuff involved.

 
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Historical Comedy
In the world of the BOB&TOM Show, Scott Dunn has become famous for his celebrity roasts and the ability to turn any event in history, no matter how obscure, into a comedy routine. So far he's skewered Ben Franklin, the Burr Hamilton dual, the Louisiana Purchase, George Washington, first Thanksgiving, and even the funeral of Abraham Lincoln. Now each Monday, Scott surprises us with a new history lesson in which you're guaranteed to laugh and might even learn a little something too.

 

 

 

 


"Kids to me are like ghosts. I'm not afraid of them, but I don't want to move into a building that has them."
- Auggie Smith

"My ex-wife told me she wanted a divorce because she'd lost the tingle. I don't know what a tingle is, but it's equivalent to one house."
- Emo Philips

"If you start with it in there, it's okay."
- Bob Kevoian explaining how a thong is different than a wedgies

"I have a gorgeous taint."
- Chick McGee

"Her favorite recording artist is Tomas Edison."
- Bob Kevoian to Granny during the Shoe-In of the Week.

"I'm not going to get an operation on my johnson just because some e-mail keeps suggesting it. But my wife just keeps sending it."
- Nathan Trenholm

"Every project my dad worked on started with 'I can do it' and ended with 'nobody's gonna see that'."
- Andres Fernandez

"How low have you sank when you are going to Greg Hahn for relationship advice."
- Orny Adams to Kristi Lee

"Didn't we leave Tuna Town and move to cookoo-ville?"
- Tom Griswold on Anne Heche

"Now on sale we've got the OJ Simpson 'Find the Real Killer' Mirror. Is it magic or just common sense."
- Billy Mayzing with a new crop of amazing products

"When I'm 80 years old, just sign me up for a nice bowl movement."
-Tom Griswold on Hef and getting older

"My dog will talk your ear off if you let him."
- Dan Grueter on giving his dog a redneck voice

"They show too many commercials at the movies. That's the biggest crime in the world."
- Bob Kevoian

"The only difference between southern sodomy and prison rape is their taste in music."
- Tom Griswold

"I bet gay guys have sex all the time because there aren't any women to tell them no."
- Larry Reeb

"My to-do list consists of women's names and drugs."
- Shane Mauss

"Joe Theismann won't be here for another four hours so you may want to hold off on taking that Viagra."
- Tom Griswold to Chick McGee

"Ladies, if you don't want to date a drunk, don't go shopping at the drunk store."
- Shane Mauss on women picking up men in bars

"If I stopped drinking scotch, Johnny Walker would have to get rid of one of their trucks."
- Ron White

"Are you at all self sufficient?"
- Tom Griswold to Ron White

"I played basketball in highschool and they used to call me the mailman. Not because I was good, but because I used to shoot up the locker room after a bad loss."
- Rob Haney

"I like the WNBA. There is nothing like a two-hour layup drill."
- John Evans

"Even for a racist, race is way down on the list of reasons to hate Barry Bonds."
- Costaki Economopoulos

"I used to call myself a communist because it pissed off my parents, and I didn't have the guts to say I was gay."
- Tom Rhodes on rebelling

"Buggers can't be choosers."
- Tom Griswold

"Putting comedy in a music festival is like hiding a message in porn. Nobody is going to notice."
- Doug Stanhope

"You don't realize how bad your teeth look until you shave your head."
- Doug Stanhope

"Comedians feel the same way about Gallagher that vampires do about Count Chocula."
- Pat Dixon

"For the good of the show, you two need to knock one out."
- Chick McGee to Kristi Lee and Tommy G.

"I'm too professional, I'd never hit on a co-worker."
- Tom Griswold

"You see the condom as half empty, I see the condom as half full."
- Drew Hastings on his fantasy date with Kristi Lee

"Body odor is nature's alarm clock and a lot of people from my home town are hitting the snooze alarm."
- Mario DiGiorgio

"Men have to feel shame about there genitals otherwise society breaks down. "
- Scott Dunn on keeping it in your pants.

"If Anna Nicole Smith was the Marilyn Monroe of our age, then Weekend at Bernie's was our Gone with the Wind."
- Tom Segura

"My wife bought me a natural deodorant. It said right there on the packaging, "Does Not Work.""
- Jim Gaffigan on the "Green" lifestyle

"Don't smoke weed with ugly women, it's a waste. You can drink a girl fine, but you can't smoke a girl fine."
- Geoff Brown

"A threesome has never been one of my fantasies, but when someone offers, it becomes one really quick."
- David Crowe

"I like a woman with a past. A skank with books."
- Drew Hastings on his preferred type of woman

"The only way you meet women on the farm is if their car breaks down."
-Drew Hastings