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w w w . b o b a n d t o m . c o m           

November 17 - 21

November 21, 2003
Thank George It's Friday

"George Lopez," the hit comedy series created by longtime friend of the show and brilliant comedic mind George Lopez, is the lead-in program for ABC's new TGIF lineup. George's show has become such a huge hit with fans in just its first two seasons that it was moved to anchor this legendary night of TV sitcoms. "George Lopez" is a comedy that's not just laugh-out-loud funny, it's also got a "real life" aspect to it... partially because many of the situations are ripped right from George's life. This week, features a special holiday episode in which George invites his extended family, including his estranged father, and his stepbrother (Lou Diamond Phillips) to Thanksgiving dinner. While at dinner he discovers that his father needs a new kidney... and George is the only match.

 

November 21, 2003
The Comedic Voice of the Little Man
When Dwight Slade takes the stage, he becomes the voice of the little man, just looking for a little justice and maybe a little payback for all of life's daily humiliations. Though he looks like he just graduated from college, Slade has been in the comedy business for over 20 years. He got his start working with comedy legend Bill Hicks, but has since made a name for himself headlining comedy clubs, hosting his own radio show and releasing two successful comedy albums.

 

November 21, 2003
Barnhart and Soul
Stand Up Comic/actor/ director Don Barnhart was one of the first ever graduates of the Second City Conservatory in Los Angeles. Since earning his diploma (we think you get a diploma for that), he’s used this skills he honed to become a touring headliner all around the world. When he’s not entertaining troop overseas, he’s here at home working his way from club to club dispensing his brand of physical facial expressions, witty, off-the-wall observations and upbeat, fast paced, improvisational comedy.

 

November 21, 2003
It’s Turkey Time!

You may have seen it done a lot of other places, but we still say it started here first. It’s time once again for one of our favorite annual traditions here on the BOB&TOM Show, the cooking of the Fried Turkey. We receive e-mails all year long asking us how to go about cooking one of these at home, so we’ve provided the recipe for this popular fried Thanksgiving feast in the BOB&TOM Cookbook. If following written directions is just a little too difficult for you to follow, you’d better grab some cassette tapes and hit record on your stereo tomorrow because Jim Bradford is returning to the Friggemall building to demonstrate how it’s done.

 

November 20, 2003
Just Like You... Only Different
Comedian Drew Hastings is definitely on our list of favorite all-time guests. And while it's true this is a very long list, what separates Drew's visits from all others is that they're always an adventure. Each time he stops by we learn a little more about how his twisted mind works, and at the same time gain insight into his interesting “alternative” (metrosexual) lifestyle. Very few others… actually, no one else has ever shown up to the show wearing a sash, riding a horse, or driving an old, boat-sized automobile that they purchased on eBay. But it's quirks like these that make Drew so loveable. Though Hastings is unlike anyone you'll ever meet (if you're lucky), he still insists, he's “Just Like You.”

VIP Members - Need some Drew right now, check out his very own Audio Page

 

November 20, 2003
The Sophomore Session
We were first introduced to comedian Mike MacRae by good friend of the show (and of Mike) Henry Phillips as they were passing through town. Henry thought we might get a kick out of Mike’s comedy, and low and behold we did. He impressed us so much that two of his pieces are featured on BOB&TOM’s brand new album Camel Toe. In his first visit, MacRae not only demonstrated what it would be like to have Indiana Jones as a professor, and enlightened us to the fact that the Roe vs. Wade baby is still out there somewhere, (probably on heavy medication), we also found out he does a dead on Henry Phillips impersonation. Not too bad for a rookie performance.

 

November 19, 2003
Women's Lingerie
50% Off

Victoria’s Secret is out, and what better way to tell the world than with sexy super models in skimpy lingerie (that’s underwear for those of you playing at home) strutting up and down a runway on national TV. Not that you need any more reason to watch the CBS special than this, but the show also features musical performances by Sting and Mary J. Blige, a peek behind the scenes (which we’re hoping involves a dressing room cam), and it’s being hosted by two of the hottest women in the world, Tyra Banks and Heidi Klum. We know Chick will be glued to his television watching with his robe recklessly thrown open… and if you’d like to do the same, turn it to CBS, Wednesday November 19 at 10PM ET and catch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show.

FACTOID - Early in her career, Tyra became the first black woman and the first model to be featured on the cover of GQ Magazine, a feat repeated when she was named their "Woman of the year 2000."

Original illustration by Jordan Ward

 

November 19, 2003
There Are No Mulligans
in comedy
T.P. Mulrooney, AKA the "Golf Comic," has an uncanny ability to bring humor to a sport that normally involves an array of curse words, lost balls and broken clubs. Using his standup comedy to focusing on the lighter side of golf, Mulrooney has won the hearts of duffers across the country. TP recently used his love of the game (along with the help of five talented artists,) to bring the world of golf to life in a collection of 100 cartoons. Each one of the cartoons featured in his book Renaissance Golfer holds true to Mulrooney’s philosophy of being funny about the game without making fun of the game (because doing so might lead to a beat down in the parking lot of a country club).

 

November 19, 2003
The Ragin' Cajun of Comedy
When trying to come up with the best way of describing comedian John Morgan, the phrase “Ragin' Cajun” comes to mind. Most likely that’s because this is how he’s often addressed, but a nickname like that isn’t just given out, it has to be earned. A native of Louisiana, Morgan is a southern boy who’s got a lot to say about his home region. He does so with an easy rapport, straight shooting southern charm, and an outrageous amount of comic energy. We’re getting him up much earlier in the morning than he’s used to so his energy might not be at its peak, but who ever said you had to be awake to be funny?

 

November 19, 2003
The NFL Song - Week 11
We're now into the double digit weeks of this 2003 NFL season which means Super Bowl Sunday keeps getting closer and closer. Though there's still plenty of football left to be played, many teams are beginning to break away from the pack, except for those awful squads in the AFC North... where no one really wants to make the playoffs. Week 11 was full of close games and a couple of overtimes, mostly due to lack of offense by almost everyone. Only the Colts and Jets squared off in a scoring shootout, which included a surprise fake field goal. In other action, the previously undefeated Chiefs were bested by the Bengals (yes, those Bengals.), the Super Bowl Champs lost again, and Doug Flutie ran out of magic against the Broncos. If you weren't able to catch all the games this weekend, you're in luck because there's no better way to rewind all the action of the weekend than with Duke Tumatoe's popular, bluesy musical review, The NFL Song.

 

November 18, 2003
The Best Part of Waking Up
Bob Zany is very excited that Tuesday's finally here, and that means it's time for a brand new edition of the
Zany Report. Though the report is usually very entertaining and extremely funny... sometimes it's not (like last week). That's why Bob archives every edition of the Zany Report on BobZany.com. Now you can play Fix-the-Joke Baby, rewrite his jokes, and show him where his punchlines took a wrong turn. While you're there, why not purchase the always-popular "Eat Salmon The Other Pink Meat," or "Papa Eat Now" shirts? They're perfect for changing oil, painting houses, and any other form of yard work.

 

 

 



"You really can't put a price tag on not having to spend Thanksgiving with your family."
- Bill Scheft

"Chicken isn't a vegetable unless you hit it over a head a few times."
- Dwight Slade

"Wearing an engagement ring on your right hand is like flying the American flag upside down."
- Tom Griswold

"Nothing says guilty like a high priced lawyer.
- Tom Griswold

"When you start drinking Tequila, you are pretty much telling everyone around you that you don't want to hang out with them anymore."
- T.P. Mulrooney

"The good thing about being a snorer is that it happens when you sleep, so it's not my problem."
- Tom Griswold

"I bet her breasts look like a pair of beagle ears."
- Chick on Diane Keaton's nude scene

"People like what they like and if they don't get what they like then they aren't going to like it."
- Chick McGee on self-asphyxiation  

"It's tough to have sex during marriage because you're always walking that tight rope between 'this again' and 'where did you learn that?'."
- Emo Phillips

"If I can make just one person laugh, I am already doing better than Tony Danza."
- Emo Phillips

"I don't even know what breed my wife is... I only see her from behind."
- Triumph the Insult Dog

"I get paid to drink beer. And they said I'd never amount to anything in school."
- Kid Rock

"The only time I have an alcohol issue is when they run out."
- Mark Klein

"You can get a hickey in a couple of sucks."
- Bob Kevoian

"Thanks to you guys, the Bus Songs are bigger than a pair on a big white elephant."
- Toby Keith

"You've got to be a wordsmith to tell jokes like this."
- Ron White

"Tom is looking at that porno box like a printed turd."
- Chick McGee

"When I walk into a porn shop it's like Norm walking into Cheers."
- Bob Kevoian

"The best thing about having my own place is that I can tell people 'get the hell out of my house.'"
- Ralph Harris

"Is that woman who's making statues with tampons going through her Period, period."
- Tom Griswold

"Not everyone who goes to prison get sodomized."
- Chick McGee