THE BOB & TOM SHOW - Program Notes

w w w . b o b a n d t o m . c o m

November 19 - 13, 2007

He's Warming Up
One of the joys of being a standup comedian is all the fun places you get to perform. Many have worked in clubs, some in theaters and others on cruise ships, but one job that may top them all is to be the warm-up act for a television show. For some, that would be a once in a lifetime gig, but not for Eddie Brill, who has made a career out of it. Currently Brill works as the warm-up act and Talent Coordinator for the Late Show with David Letter, which is great enough on it’s own, but Eddie has also warmed up for The Dana Carvey Show, This is Your Life and Saved by the Bell. And while that’s a great job, Eddie does still find time to tour the country, performing for audiences that actually came to see him.

Late Nights with Lou Santini
Many comedians dream of one day having their own radio show, but for Lou Santini, the dream was the other way around. After changing his major to broadcasting just weeks before entering college, Lou found that he had a knack for radio. He worked just about every job at the station before landing an overnight show of his own that quickly became a big hit. His ratings were huge and his legend grew until after 10 years of broadcasting, Lou decided it was time to move on. He left for LA where he broke into commercial acting, voice over work and his true passion, standup comedy.

98% Clean
After watching Eddie Murphy perform for the first time, Warren B. Hall knew at the age of 10 that he wanted to become a standup comedian. Then, after his mother gave him a good beating for using the 'F-word' while practicing, Hall decided it would be wise to take a cleaner approach to comedy than his often foul-mouthed idol. Hall has worked with the USO tour of the Middle East, where he performed at military bases for our troops. However, if you didn't happen to catch those shows, you may recognize him from his television commercial work or from various clubs here in the States, which he also frequents. Hall is a self-proclaimed 98% clean comic who doesn't shy away from adult innuendo. Aside from comedy, Warren B. Hall is also the author of the book, Pieces of Me.

All That Chas
He’s been a clown for Ringling Bros., Barnum & Bailey Circus and an actor off-Broadway, but for right now, Chas Elstner is a standup comedian. Chas is a 15-year veteran who has the ability to approach edginess without being offensive. It doesn’t matter if he’s discussing politics or the daily absurdities of life, audiences all over have found Elstner energetic, honest and thought provoking. We think we heard the adjective ‘funny’ tossed around too.

FACTOID - The last time he was on, Chas performed his legendary rendition of Iron Butterfly's "In-A-Gadda-Da-Vida" using only his mouth. Of course, this prompted a phone call from Mr. Sound FX-II who challenged him to a sound off.

Extreme Image Makeover
Over the past year Paul Mecurio has called in to share his helpful tips on how certain public figures, holidays and inanimate objects, could easily change their public images, and we're happy to say that this Tuesday, he'll be sharing his newest installment. Aside from makeovers, Mecurio is also a talented writer and comedian. He won an Emmy Award as a writer for Comedy Central's The Daily Show and makes regular appearances on MSNBC and FOX News as a political satirist.

Big Name,
Bigger Laughs
Of all the guests we regularly have on the show, comedian Costaki Economopoulos possesses the longest and most difficult name to spell, by far. And while we can't stand having to type it out each week, we do look forward to his calls. In his Economonologues (another word we dread) he gets the chance to cover any and everything that has popped into his head in the past seven days. These topics have included strange superstitions, odd phobias, one liners and the origin of common clichés (the latter two actaully appear on the new B&T CD, We Just Landed). Costaki's able to take the things he sees and hears in everyday life and turn turn them into comedic observations you won't be able to believe you haven't thought of before, and will never be able to forget.

Vague But True
Whether he's in the studio, on the phone, or on his special ISDN line live from his home, comedian Tim Bedore joins BOB&TOM every Wednesday to bring us a new edition of his popular weekly feature, Vague But True. In these musings, Tim talks about whatever is on his mind at the time, whether that be politics, life lessons, or stories on how animals are trying to wipe out the human race. But no matter the topic, folks all over the country are glued to their radios waiting to hear what Bedore has to say, and what sound effects he'll play. And if you happen to be one of those people, here's some good news, a few of Tim's best installments of VBT appear on the new B&T CD, We Just Landed.

The NFL Song
Those of you who you haven't yet purched NFL Sunday Ticket may not be aware of it, but there were actually 16 games played this weekend (if you count the Pats vs. Bills as a game). But don't worry, Duke Tumatoe didn't take his eyes off of the ball, which means he can once again give you the bluesy musical recap of all the football action you've come to know and love. He calls it the NFL Song, but you can just call it your favorite part of Wednesday morning.

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Have You Heard? Frank TV is Coming to TBS
If you’ve watched anything on TBS recently or even just landed on the Superstation by accident while flipping through channels, you’ve probably seen an ad for Frank Caliendo’s new show, Frank TV. And while he’s no stranger to television or sketch comedy having starred on Mad TV and been featured on FOX NFL Sunday, what makes his new show different is that this program is going to be all Frank all the time. Beginning November 20th, Frank takes over TBS in a show that will be filmed in front of a live studio audience. No one is safe from this modern master of impressions as he’ll be lampooning a host of pop culture icons including John Madden, Charles Barkley, President Bush, Robert DeNiro, Dr. Phil and many, many more.

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He's Mike Birbiglia!
How could Mike Birbiglia's have known that the private musing he recorded in his personal diary would eventually become the most sought after literature in America? We doubt he did, (and we're also not sure that it is indeed the most sought after literature) but that doesn't change the fact that his Secret Public Journal has taken the country by storm. Because of this, he's made it a point to not only e-mail his loyal fans his inner most thoughts on a regular basis, he also calls into the BOB&TOM show every so often to read his entries live on the air. Will his next selection cover his infatuation with pizza, problem with sleepwalking, brother Joe, fear of bears or alter ego "Sleepy Carl." We can only hope. And if you happen to miss him on the show, you can correct your mistake by seeing him live on stage during his Secret Public Comedy Tour.

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The Zany Report, Starring Bob Zany
It's time again for that fabulous feature, The Zany Report, as brought to you each week by Bob Zany. This man of comedic courage runs the comedy gauntlet every Tuesday, hoping that his always new, always fresh Report will lead to roaring laughter throughout the studio. And though he normally comes up short, this legendary talent refuses to give up or give in. Also, one lucky fan will attempt to improve a Zany punchline by playing Fix The Joke, Baby where they can win a boatload of prizes including a one year BOB&TOM VIP membership, a couple of ultra cool T-shirts and a whole lot more!

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Robert Wagner Returns to TV
Robert Wagner has been one of the biggest names in Hollywood now for almost 50 years. Wagner began his career as one of Tinsel-town’s hot young stars, usually landing roles for his looks more than anything else. But when the studio bosses realized the guy could also act, all kinds of doors and more challenging parts opened up. Over the years he evolved from Hollywood leading man into one of television’s most popular actors, starring in shows like Hart to Hart and Switch. In the 90’s Wagner reappeared on the scene as the eye-patch wearing sidekick, Number 2 in the Austin Powers movies. Currently, you can find Wagner back on the small screen in the hit series Two and a Half Men starring Charlie Sheen and airing Monday nights at 9pm on CBS.

Into Hot Air
Chris Elliott first appeared on the scene as a stand-up comic, but it was working as a writer for The Late Night with David Letterman that really launched his career. During his time there, his team of joke writers walked away with four Emmy awards and he became a regular on the show, appearing as a number of popular characters including "The Guy Who Lives Under the Seats." Elliot went on to star in his own underrated television series, Get a Life, and became a regular guest star on Everybody Loves Raymond, however, he's probably most recognized from his roles in the movies Groundhog’s Day, Cabin Boy, and There’s Something About Mary. Be on the lookout for Chris Elliott's name in bookstores when his second novel, Into Hot Air hits shelves.

JORDAN WARD illustration

Snap To It
Looking at his hands, you couldn't tell him apart from anyone else. It's only when he gets his fantastic fingers going that you realize he is the faster snapper in the world. Bobby Badfingers had never attempted to play an instrument in his life, and why should he? He has all tools he needs to make music right there at his fingertips. Not only has her performed with The Beach Boys, and comedian Louis Anderson he's also been featured on America's Got Talent, Late Show with David Letterman, Regis & Kelly and The View.

FACTOID - Bobby Badfingers had developed a special microphone that he can attach to the tips of his fingers. It's quite impressive.

It’s Turkey Time!
They may be doing it everywhere these days, but we still say we did it here first. It’s time once again for our tastiest annual BOB&TOM tradition of the year, the cooking of the Fried Turkey. We receive e-mails all year long asking us how one would go about preparing a fried fowl at home, so we’ve provided the recipe for this popular Thanksgiving feast in the BOB&TOM Cookbook. But, if following perfectly laid out, written instructions is just a little too complex for you, grab some cassette tapes and get ready to hit record on your stereo because our professional turkey chef is returning to the Friggemall building to demonstrate how it’s done.

November 12 - 16
Program Notes

"Whore's gotta eat too."
- Kristi Lee after hearing the story of the prostitute at Thanksgiving dinner

"I'm the boy in the bubble without the bubble."
- Jimmy Pardo on his multiple allergies

"Instruction manuals are nothing more than another man's opinion."
- Chick McGee

"Kids to me are like ghosts. I'm not afraid of them, but I don't want to move into a building that has them."
- Auggie Smith

"My ex-wife told me she wanted a divorce because she'd lost the tingle. I don't know what a tingle is, but it's equivalent to one house."
- Emo Philips

"If you start with it in there, it's okay."
- Bob Kevoian explaining how a thong is different than a wedgies

"I have a gorgeous taint."
- Chick McGee

"Her favorite recording artist is Tomas Edison."
- Bob Kevoian to Granny during the Shoe-In of the Week.

"I'm not going to get an operation on my johnson just because some e-mail keeps suggesting it. But my wife just keeps sending it."
- Nathan Trenholm

"Every project my dad worked on started with 'I can do it' and ended with 'nobody's gonna see that'."
- Andres Fernandez

"How low have you sank when you are going to Greg Hahn for relationship advice."
- Orny Adams to Kristi Lee

"Didn't we leave Tuna Town and move to cookoo-ville?"
- Tom Griswold on Anne Heche

"Now on sale we've got the OJ Simpson 'Find the Real Killer' Mirror. Is it magic or just common sense."
- Billy Mayzing with a new crop of amazing products

"When I'm 80 years old, just sign me up for a nice bowl movement."
-Tom Griswold on Hef and getting older

"My dog will talk your ear off if you let him."
- Dan Grueter on giving his dog a redneck voice

"They show too many commercials at the movies. That's the biggest crime in the world."
- Bob Kevoian

"The only difference between southern sodomy and prison rape is their taste in music."
- Tom Griswold

"I bet gay guys have sex all the time because there aren't any women to tell them no."
- Larry Reeb

"My to-do list consists of women's names and drugs."
- Shane Mauss

"Joe Theismann won't be here for another four hours so you may want to hold off on taking that Viagra."
- Tom Griswold to Chick McGee

"Ladies, if you don't want to date a drunk, don't go shopping at the drunk store."
- Shane Mauss on women picking up men in bars

"If I stopped drinking scotch, Johnny Walker would have to get rid of one of their trucks."
- Ron White

"Are you at all self sufficient?"
- Tom Griswold to Ron White

"I played basketball in highschool and they used to call me the mailman. Not because I was good, but because I used to shoot up the locker room after a bad loss."
- Rob Haney

"I like the WNBA. There is nothing like a two-hour layup drill."
- John Evans

"Even for a racist, race is way down on the list of reasons to hate Barry Bonds."
- Costaki Economopoulos

"I used to call myself a communist because it pissed off my parents, and I didn't have the guts to say I was gay."
- Tom Rhodes on rebelling

"Buggers can't be choosers."
- Tom Griswold

"Putting comedy in a music festival is like hiding a message in porn. Nobody is going to notice."
- Doug Stanhope

"You don't realize how bad your teeth look until you shave your head."
- Doug Stanhope

"Comedians feel the same way about Gallagher that vampires do about Count Chocula."
- Pat Dixon

"For the good of the show, you two need to knock one out."
- Chick McGee to Kristi Lee and Tommy G.

"I'm too professional, I'd never hit on a co-worker."
- Tom Griswold

"You see the condom as half empty, I see the condom as half full."
- Drew Hastings on his fantasy date with Kristi Lee

"Body odor is nature's alarm clock and a lot of people from my home town are hitting the snooze alarm."
- Mario DiGiorgio

"Men have to feel shame about there genitals otherwise society breaks down. "
- Scott Dunn on keeping it in your pants.

"If Anna Nicole Smith was the Marilyn Monroe of our age, then Weekend at Bernie's was our Gone with the Wind."
- Tom Segura

"My wife bought me a natural deodorant. It said right there on the packaging, "Does Not Work.""
- Jim Gaffigan on the "Green" lifestyle

"Don't smoke weed with ugly women, it's a waste. You can drink a girl fine, but you can't smoke a girl fine."
- Geoff Brown

"A threesome has never been one of my fantasies, but when someone offers, it becomes one really quick."
- David Crowe

"I like a woman with a past. A skank with books."
- Drew Hastings on his preferred type of woman

"The only way you meet women on the farm is if their car breaks down."
-Drew Hastings