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w w w . b o b a n d t o m . c o m           

November 20 -24 2006

Poopy Butt-Head,
Dan Davidson
Comedian Dan Davidson (or Double-D, as he loves to be called) easily walks the line between sophistication and pure goofiness. Described as a mix between Carey Grant and Don Knotts, one moment he’ll be gracing the stage with a plenitude of confidence, and in the next he’s full of childlike innocence which can be equally as humorous. Dan is the youngest of six children, so performing stand-up comedy is not only a career, it's also therapeutic. He's a veteran of over 3000 performances and has been seen on both Comedy Central and FOX. And if you're wondering why his website is called poopybutthead.com, Dan says it's because he stopped maturing in the 6th grade. He should fit right in on this show.
 

Mike Birbiglia to Appear on Conan O'Brien
Comedian Mike Birbiglia is man of deep thoughts. He's a man who's going to be on Late Night with Conan O'Brien on Friday. But, he's also a traveling comedian which means he's not only on the road a lot, he's also got plenty of free time. Mix those three factors together and you end up with a little something he likes to call his Secret Public Journal. The Legions of adoring fans who have signed up for his newsletter get his very secret yet very public writings e-mailed directly to them on a regular basis, but out of respect for those who haven't joined, we've asked him to occasionally call the show and share his writings over the phone. In other news, Mike makes an appearance on the BOB&TOM album Donkey Show in which he talks about the difficulty some people have with pronouncing his name correctly.
 

Jack Freeman's Alter Ego
Drew Hastings is unique in that he gets double billed on some of the Friends of the BOB&TOM Show comedy Tours as both himself and Jack Freeman. But that should come as no surprise, Drew is one our favorite and most frequent visitors. it’s never a boring morning when he stops by. Whether he’s telling us about his life on the farm, fighting for the spotlight with Rupert or arriving dressed in the latest in metrosexual fashion he never fails to give us more material to hold against him. Currently Drew is working on expanding his one-man show “Life & Other Short Stories,” and creating a mockumentary based on his alter ego, Success Guru Jack Freeman. Drew also recently took part in the huge BOB&TOM Comedy show that aired on Comedy Central earlier this year and is a featured guest (along with Rupert) on the special third disc of the album, Donkey Show.
 

It's Time For Tim
Tim Bedore has been on a hot streak lately with his weekly Vague But True editorials, which is why we're so eager to find out what his next installment will be about. Over the past few years, these musings have helped us learn a lot about Tim, including his thoughts on moving Israel to Nevada, making airlines all nude, and his theory on how animals are trying to wipe out our species. But no matter the topic, we're happy he'll be reporting on it from his new home up north, where the introverts stare at their shoes and the extroverts stare at your shoes. Plus, make sure you stick around for the conclusion of VBT because Bedore now has a catchy little outro that you just can't help but sing along with.

 

The NFL Song
Week eleven of the NFL is in the books which means it's time once again for Duke Tumatoe's world famous NFL Song. It was an odd week of pigskin as a number of teams were shut out at home, the Niners pulled within one game of their division, the Colts lost their first game, and Tomlinson scored four touchdowns for the Chargers, again! Yeah, the description of the games we just gave you is pretty vague, but if we told you everything, there would be nothing left for Duke to sing about.

 
 

Turkey Day
Dysfunction?
Call Dr. Will
Bob & Tom PSYCHOtherapist, and long time friend of the show, Dr. Will Miller became popular for his theories on classic television and how those shows reflect on our own society and psychology. In his Book, Why We Watch, Dr. Will discussed everything from Gilligan's Island to Scooby Doo and how those reruns were actually the path to personal peace. Then in his next work, Refrigerator Rights, Dr. Will took an in depth look at what friendship in America is all about by examining how individuals give out Refrigerator Rights. In other words, how many friends do you have that are allowed to just walk right in your home and start rummaging through you're ice box? So with the holidays approaching, and relatives on the way over, we knew food and psychiatry would be on everyone's mind which is why we knew Will Miller will be the prefect person to take your calls on dysfunctional family Thanksgiving issues.
 

Where America
Turns For News
Comedian Bob Zany may not realize it by the way we treat him when he calls in, but he's our most eagerly anticipated guest each week. There are few comedians working today that have the guts it takes to come on a nationally syndicated radio show every week and perform all new material. Then to top it all off, he invites listeners to call in and fix his jokes that some have deemed 'virtually laugh free.' Sounds fun doesn't it? Catch The Zany Report every Tuesday so you too can play "Fix the Joke Baby" where the prize package includes CDs, t-shirts, and a BOB&TOM VIP membership.
 

Sending Our
Thanks Overseas
We know that over the holidays hundreds of thousands of U.S. Armed Forces personnel will be overseas fighting the war on terrorism far away from their families, friends and the comforts of home. That’s why the USO, The BOB&TOM Show and NAPA have joined in to show these troops they have not been forgotten. BOB&TOM along with NAPA have produced a new exclusive comedy album, Operation Radio, which has been sent overseas for our troops to enjoy. Along with that, The USO has created Operation USO Care Package, which is a way to send a message of thanks to the troops for their service and sacrifice. Last year BOB&TOM's efforts generated over $350,000 in donations! We urge our listeners to join us in providing support to our troops overseas. For more information visit Operation Care Package!
 

Mabe in America
Tom Mabe is in the middle of an ongoing war with the telemarketing industry. His hatred of phone solicitors was born back in his days working as a struggling jingle writer from home. Whenever the phone would ring, Tom filled with joy, hoping it was a client ready to shell out cash for his services. But to his dismay, the voice on the other end of the line would almost always be a telemarketer attempting to sell Mabe something he didn't need. Tom could have done what any ordinary person would do and let this deep rooted anger fester, but instead he turned his aggravation into a profession. Mabe now waits by the phone in anticipation of solicitors, ready to make them sorry they ever picked up the phone. With oddball characters and outlandish situations, Mabe turns the tables on those pesky telemarketers, making their lives a living hell. Two of his recent exploits appear on the new BOB&TOM album, Man Boobs. Tom's video pranks are legendary on YouTube,com!
 

It’s Turkey Time!
They may be doing it everywhere these days, but we still say we did it here first. It’s time once again for our tastiest annual BOB&TOM tradition of the year, the cooking of the Fried Turkey. We receive e-mails all year long asking us how one would go about preparing a fried fowl at home, so we’ve provided the recipe for this popular Thanksgiving feast in the BOB&TOM Cookbook. But, if following perfectly laid out, written instructions is just a little too complex for you, grab some cassette tapes and get ready to hit record on your stereo because our professional turkey chef is returning to the Friggemall building to demonstrate how it’s done.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 
 


"You ever see that mug shot of Nick Nolte? I wish I felt that good."
- Nick Griffin

"We've always had stupid people, it's just that when I was young we didn't let them outside."
- Tammy Pescatelli on the show she wants to do called 'What the Hell is Wrong With You.'

"I will come over to your house and sit on your bed for $10."
- Chick McGee

"I was a Shushy Cat."
- Ben Folds on his former bands

"My wife starred at me like I had just asked to have a three way with her mom. No, it was way worse than that time."
-Emo Philips

"There's no 12-step program for stupid."
- Heywood Banks

"Leave it to you to look at the sad side of stripping."
- Chick McGee to Kristi Lee

"For years my entire career has been getting up on stage and acting like a pompous ass. Then I come in here, and Tom is the pompous ass. I love it!"
- Jimmy Pardo

"So really, which dwarf did you dress up like for Halloween."
- Tom Griswold to Jimmy Pardo

"That toaster in your kitchen signifies that you owe me $18 worth of gossip."
- Roy Wood Jr on wanting to divorces to be as public as weddings

"Land comes cheap when there's a 60% chance you're going to die on it."
- Nikki Payne on Trailer Parks

"I'm in a position to judge Bobby Brown because I watched the show."
- Tim Wilson

"Since moving to Vegas, My kids look at New Orleans like it's Amish country."
- Kelly McDonald

"He's too intelligent for comedy. Scott Dunn ladies and gentlemen."
- Chick McGee on comedian Scott Dunn

"You can make anything sound dirty by sniffing it."
- Tom Griswold

"If you're not good with technology, don't be cocky about it."
- Mike Birbiglia

"Those new sports tampons might be better for sports that use periods instead of quarters."
- Bob Kevoian

"I don't drink tequilla anymore because it makes me ski."
- John Pinnette

"Alfalfa sprouts make angels cry."
- John Pinnette

"I'm a fantasy football widow."
- Caroline Rhea

"My wife is Hawaiian. Well, no she's not but she's shaped like a pineapple."
- Bobby Slayton

"You're the boomerang of comedy, you just keep coming back."
- Bob Kevoian to Tim Cavanagh

"I am trying to learn Spanish so that I can start Text-Mexing people."
- Heywood Banks

"I won't tell you how many times my dad has been married, but if they were sandwiches, his next one would be free."
- Jimmy Pardo

"Using it as a suppository seems to take all of the romance out of heroin."
- Tom Griswold

"In my twenties I was anal about my birth control. Literally."
- Laurie Kilmartin

"Some day I want to hold your hand and run across the rainbow little fluff-puff."
- Harland Williams to Frank Caliendo as George W. Bush

"I feel like a dog listening to a card trick."
- Chick McGee while listening to Don McMillan's tech joke

"You know who likes to get fisted? Sock puppets."
- Daniel Tosh

" I wear black condoms because they're slimming."
- Daniel Tosh

"Nothing beats a good cookie."
- Kristi Lee

"I've been on drugs for a week, I don't know what real life is like right now."
- Kristi Lee

"Why did you look at me when you said 'premature'?"
- Chick McGee to Laura Steele

"Climbing around on the old fleshy playground."
- Bob Kevoian on having fun with a full-figured gal

" I never trust a hooker with fresh breath."
- "Larry King"

"The most ticklish people in the whole world are people walking down the street who you don't know."
- Mike Armstrong

"My body has no sexual meaning anymore, so if I can make people laugh with it, at least it's being used."
- Louis C. K.

"At least the US had an Exit Strategy for the World Cup."
- Bill Scheft on the US defeat in Soccer

"You couldn't look down on me anymore than you already do. You are so superior to me, it's breathtaking."
- Chick McGee to Tom

"I think the word you were looking for was 'perfect.'"
- Tommy Johnigan after Chick called him a 'freak.'

"The McRibb is the deadbeat dad of the fast food restaurant. It comes around every 6 months and you're supposed to be excited about it."
- John Garrett

"I know a lot of my comedian friends are a little 'kumbaya', but I would actually own a gun."
- Richard Jeni

"All of my home invasions are in the nude."
- Chick McGee

"I figured, women must like men's rear ends because it reminds them of a purse. It's got two sides, split in the middle and you keep your $&^# in it."
- Richard Jeni on things he doesn't un

"How come when you make suggestions they sound annoying and stupid, and when I do it they sound reasonable."
- Tom Griswold to Kristi while talking about grocery stores

"If Chick had a cologne, it would smell like mayonnaise."
- Tom Griswold

"It was a tough gig. They had to wake me up to fire me."
- Jim Gaffigan on his straight jobs before becoming a comedian

"I told people that I was from Indiana and they told me they didn't know they had such strong accents in Indy."
-Wolfgang Puck on his heavy German accent.

"How much money is Russia putting into this 'international' space station. I mean, it's like playing poker with your kids."
- Chick McGee to Dr. David Wolf

"Carrying around Vagisil is like having a I. V. for your genitals. You need that constant lube."
- Tom Griswold