THE BOB & TOM SHOW - Program Notes

w w w . b o b a n d t o m . c o m

December 12 - 16 2005

A Man For All Seasons
Tim Cavanagh has always believed in giving each and every holiday its due. He's put a lot of thought and effort into making sure that almost every event you can think of is covered in his extensive catalogue of songs. Tim has written tributes to frantic Flag Day, Groundhog Day and both Equinoxes, but don't think it's just the so called "lesser" holidays that get his attention. Every so often he'll put together a dedication to one of the big days, the heavy hitters of the holiday world. Say for instance, everyone's favorite day of gift giving and reflection, Christmas. Tim's written a number of classic christmas songs, but we're betting he may have a new one up his sleeve. After all, he is the "One Minute Song Guy."

Dear Santa, We Want Sean Morey For Christmas
Comedian Sean Morey's songs usually contain very heartfelt and well thought out messages. His tune Dear Santa examines the greed and poverty of today's society and his The Man Song discusses the power struggle between the sexes. Even On the Internet is all about how hard it is to find love in today's society, even though we've recently found out Morey is a frequent visitor to Internet dating sites. The messages may not sound as profound when accompanied by his banjo, but if you can get past that, these songs might possibly teach you a little about life, love and even yourself.

Rodney's Better Half
When BOB&TOM recently went out to Hollywood to visit Rodney Carrington and make a guest appearance on his sitcom, Rodney, they also got to spend a little time with his "better half," on the show, Jennifer Aspen. And as you can tell by the picture, that's not such a bad thing. Aspen plays Rodney's wife Trina, who not only has to put up with he and his buddy Barry's antics on a weekly basis, she also has to deal with him being an aspiring stand-up comedian. BOB&TOM"s episode probably won't air until February, but you can catch Aspen every Tuesday on ABC.

A Special Kind of Movie
Peter Farrelly is one of the geniuses behind such outrageous hit comedies as Outside Providence, King Pin, Dumb & Dumber and Me, Myself and Irene (a few of which appear on our Top 100 Comedy Films). Along with his brother, Bobby, Peter has been changing the genre of comedy since taking the world by storm in 1998 with There’s Something About Mary which earned more than $350 million worldwide and garnered a New York Film Critics Circle Award (Best Actress for Cameron Diaz), the People’s Choice Award for Best Comedy, two Golden Globe nominations (including Best Picture-Comedy) and four MTV Movie Awards. Peter is hoping he’ll find similar success with his new film, The Ringer starring Johnny Knoxville. The story (having nothing to do with the novel by Bill Scheft) follows a man who needs money to pay off his debts, so he does the only reasonable thing, enters the Special Olympics for the prize money. The Ringer opens everywhere December 23rd.

Do You Know
Who He Is?
No, it's not Paco the Pool Boy, he's comedian Pat Godwin. And not only is he one of the most talented guitarist and skilled songwriters we have as a regular guest, he's also become a member of the extended B&T family (which means now we can't get rid of him). Godwin's been a major part the past few BOB&TOM albums, including the newest one, Happy Hour. On it, he has an unprecedented three tracks including the classic tunes Switch to Beer and Gone Bad and the brand new one, Plan B. Much like when Drew Hastings drops by, it's always an interesting visit when Pat's in the studio because you never know what little tidbits of his personal life might become the fodder for a morning of laughs.

Living The Dream
If someone were to tell you they were performing as a comedy club MC six times a week and having to host karaoke after each show in the dead of winter 60 miles from the Canadian border while living in a 6x8 motel room next to a French fry factory, you might think they had it all. Chad Daniels on the other hand felt he needed something more in his life. That's when he decided to take his comedy on the road and began performing at clubs, colleges, bowling alleys, and Elks’ Lodges across the nation. Not long after, Chad performed as a finalist in Comedy Central’s Laugh Riots competition, which in turn got him enough attention to make his network television debut on the Late Late Show with Craig Kilborn. Chad has since released his first comedy album, Two Minutes for Stale Hacking.

Flute Your Flute Greg
In just a short time, comedian Greg Warren has become one of our favorite young comedians. He first charmed us with stories of hunting for bigfoot and an odd noise his Uncle Leo used to make when talking about women. But he really earned a place in BOB&TOM history when he broke out his bit on playing the clarinet, or as his buddy called it, a flute. Not only did this piece add the phrase "hit 'em with your flute" to our vocabulary, it has also caused anyone with the name Nick to be forever referred to as "No Neck Nick." Greg soon found himself on the B&T album Odd Balls, and as a member of the Friends of the BOB&TOM Show Comedy Tour. With all this success, Greg might not have to go back home and coach high school wrestling any time soon

Beware of Aug
The ranting, raving, gun fighting comedian from Montana, Auggie Smith is heading back to the studio and we can only assume he's traveling by horse. From the first moment we met Auggie, he became one of our favorite young comedians, and his comedy pieces on drinking, Bed Bath & Beyond and leading a religious cult have become classics. Because Aug finds his material in the absurdities of everyday people, situations and politics, he's never had a problem finding new targets on which to aim his comedy six-shooters. Be warned, if you listen to Smith's ranting long enough, you too will find yourself following "The Word of Aug." But is that really such a bad thing? Auggie also appears on the new B&T album. Happy Hour, discussing the time he had to drive his dad home from the bar when he was only 9 years old.

FACTOID - Auggie Smith held a contest earlier this year to find a date for his ex-girlfriend's wedding. He wanted to make it the most awkward first date in history.

Sending Our
Thanks Overseas
We know that over the holidays hundreds of thousands of U.S. Armed Forces personnel will be overseas fighting the war on terrorism far away from their families, friends and the comforts of home. That’s why the USO, The BOB&TOM Show and NAPA have joined in to show these troops they have not been forgotten. BOB&TOM along with NAPA have produced a new exclusive comedy album, A Radio Institution, which has been sent overseas for our troops to enjoy. Along with that, The USO has created Operation USO Care Package, which is a way to send a message of thanks to the troops for their service and sacrifice. USO President Elaine Rogers will be joining BOB&TOM in the studio to give us the low down on how this all works and what you can do to show your support.

The NFL Song - Week 15
Another week of NFL football has come to an end, but that doesn't mean you can't relive all the fun. That's right, Duke Tumatoe's here to recap all the exciting action in his tribute to all things professional football, The NFL Song. This week, the Chiefs, Chargers and Bears all choked in big games, the Colts won their 13th straight, #1 pick Alex Smith continues to lose, the Texans blew another game at the end and Patriots are starting to look like winners again. With all that craziness and more taking place over the weekend, Duke's got a lot of pressure on him to fit everything into one exhilarating song. And who knows, maybe this week we'll even be treated to a new episode of Bass Talk.

Give the Gift of Scheft
Former standup comedian turned novelist, Bill Scheft is the author of one of the greatest novels of our generation, The Ringer, and is currently promoting his new equally entertaining book, Time Won't Let Me. Bill's new work of fiction is about the fall & resurrection of a fabled garage band, loosely based on his brother's real life experiences. Though he's often kept busy pumping this book that's sure to be on top of everyone's holiday wish list, Scheft still actively writes for magazines. His recent stories include a quiz in Publishers Weekly about Amazon reviewers and a piece about Rocky VI that appeared in Sports Illustrated. Oh, and did we mention that his book would make a great gift?

FACTOID - Bill Scheft was at one time the head monologue writer for The Late Show with David Letterman

Trying to Find the Perfect Stocking Stuffer, Bay-Bee?
Just in time for Christmas, Bob Zany is releasing the must have new comedy album of the season. It’s Bob Zany as you’ve never heard him before, (unless you regularly catch him on the BOB&TOM show every Tuesday or have seen him live on stage) performing as Bing Crosby on the all-new album, The Best of Der Bingle Bay-Bee! Each and every week Bob Zany calls in to deliver The Zany Report, and because it sometimes doesn’t get the laughs he wanted, Bob added The Bing Crosby Joke of the Week to save the segment. In this feature, Zany channels the long departed spirit of Bing Crosby, who then pops in and tells a can’t miss, classic joke. This new CD features 26 of Der Bingle's best efforts and is available now at bobzany.com, Bay-Bee!

Going Overboard
A former Navy brat and present-day Navy wife, Sarah Smiley knows better than anyone that when it comes to serving in the military, everything else comes second; even weddings, funerals and childbirth. In her new book, Going Overboard, Smiley talks about how her life changed when her husband was deployed overseas, leaving her to live on a military base and raise their two kids. Sarah pulls no punches in this frank and funny memoir, which exposes everything you never knew you didn't know about life in the military, and then some. Along with this book, Sarah Smiley is also the author of the nationally syndicated column “Shore Duty.”

December 5 - 9
Program Notes

"The only way you could have ruined the wedding is if you were the groom."
- Tom Griswold on Auggie Smith attending his ex-girlfriend's wedding

"If he can lift a car, he should have testicles the size of beach balls."
- Chick McGee on the size of Superman's bulge.'

"I wish I could go back in time and give somebody a condom."
- Tom Griswold on Chick being born

"Wedding vows sound like talking to a lawyer because they're warming you up for later."
- Kristi Lee on marriage

"I'm the self appointed head of the Pork Council."
- Donnie Baker on the holding public office at an early age

"What's the big deal about the guy who could pull a truck with his penis? When I was sixteen, I could have pushed it."
- From a B&T listener e-mail

"It's the size of the shoe, not the amount of shoes, that really matters."
- Real Men of Genius to Chick McGee during a RMoG song about the B&T Show

"You are the smartest smart person I've ever known."
- Chick McGee to Tom after Tom won another argument about the NFL overtime procedure

"There's nothing worse than barfing on make-a-wish kids."
- Bob Kevoian as a tribute to Tom Wilson of 'Back to the Future' fame

"There is such a fine line between comedy and blasphemy."
- "The Pope"

"I would rather be bottomless than topless any day."
- Kristi Lee

"My dog is a little overweight, but she's got a really pretty face."
- Karen Mills

"Cigarettes don't hurt you much unless you do a lot of things where you need to breathe."
- James Sibley

"My ass is really sensitive when I go to sit on a toilet seat. I have a great ass."
- Bob Kevoian on how the guy who glued himself to a toilet seat didn't feel the glue when he sat down

"There's no I in TEAM, but there is one in DICK."
- Tom Griswold on the Terrell Owens situation

"If you going through a toll both on a date, you're probably being kidnapped."
- Bob Kevoian

"I not gay, but for $4 million I could be confused for a night."
- Roy Wood, Jr.

"Kristi came into my room and the feeling was like someone was walking on my grave."
- Chick McGee on the awkwardness he felt when Kristi came back to his room to visit during a girls card night.

"Love is an emotion, and you can't control your emotions. If you could control them, there would be no need for bouncers or rape whistles."
- Doug Stanhope on the institution of marriage

"No wonder you're alone."
- Laura Steele to John Fox after telling an off color joke

"If you were watching a movie with you in it, you wouldn't believe it."
- Chick McGee to Tom Griswold on the way he lives

"Being the last of 11 kids is like showing up to a New Years party at 1:15am."
- Dan Grueter on missing out on everything due to being the youngest child

"I saw the hottest woman ever wearing a Chicago Bears. I thought that was awesome, a hot chick that likes failure."
- Pete Lee, a huge Packers fan

"Oh good, a Power Point presentation. That means you've taken your stupidity and put it on the wall."
- Tom Griswold on meetings

"This is my water bed, baby. I make the payments and the rules."
- Donny Baker

"This new Marilyn Manson cologne smells a lot like Alice Cooper."
- Tom Griswold

"This isn't me picking a date. This is me rejecting 200 women."
- Auggie Smith on his "Win a Date" contest

"Shut up Randy, you couldn't get to third base with a bowling ball."
- Donny Baker on his boss' lack of experience

"They say that only 1% of the population is gay. If that's the case, I've slept with all of them."
- Jason Stuart

"Women say that gray hair is distinguishing. That's true. That's how they distinguish who to sleep with.
- Sean Morey on aging

"If I bought a box of 96 condoms, I'd have to leave some in my will. To my nephew, I leave 90 condoms."
- Larry Reeb on buying in bulk at Costco

"You look like a match stick."
- Bob Kevoian on Tom's red face (due to a medical procedure.)

"I accidentally walked in on my roommate and his girlfriend having sex. Fortunately they didn't see me for almost 10 minutes."
- Nathan Trenholm

"You know you've lost your sex appeal when you go to pay a hooker and she says it's free if you promise not to tell anybody."
- Robert Hawkins

"The new Da Vinci Code conspiracy is that Jesus was married. I don't know if that's true, but if it is, that would explain why he didn't stop his crucifixion."
- Scott Dunn on Marriage