w w w . b o b a n d t o m . c o m

December 20 - 24 2004
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Peyton Wants a Broken Record for Christmas
Maybe you haven't heard, in which case you probably haven't turned on
a television or radio over the past month, but Indianapolis Colts
QB Peyton Manning is just one touchdown
toss away from breaking Dan Marino's 20 year old record. Back in
1984, the legendary Marino threw 48 TD's in one season. This year,
Manning already has 47, with two games left on the schedule. The
talk has gone from "if" he'll break the record, to "when." This
chase for the record comes as no surprise, seeing as how Peyton is
arguably the best player in the NFL. He
was least season's Co-MVP and should be this year's only selection
for that title. Winning and record breaking aren't anything new to
Manning; he's been making an impact in the league since his rookie
season, smashing nearly every rookie passing record in the books
and continuing on pace to break many others during his career. While
some say his skill come from an unparalleled work ethic and constant
studying of film, other's claim it's all in the genes. He's got quarterbacking
in his blood. His father, Archie, was a pro-bowl QB with the New
Orleans Saints, and his brother Eli was the number one draft pick
this season by the New York Giants. Though it would be easy for a
guy on pace to break one of the most respected records in sports
to lose focus on everything else, Peyton hasn't. He's still putting
the team first, and would be happier if his Colts went to the Super
Bowl than he would be with any personal achievements. We're sure
that most of the folks in Indianapolis are hoping they can have both.
Help Build Tyler's Tree House
When Manning stops by the show this Tuesday,
he’s doing so in order to raise money to fulfill a
brave nine-year old child’s wish. Tyler Frenzel was
7 years old when he was diagnosed with Leukemia. He spent
the next two years traveling around the country, spreading
hope and awareness to people, while at the same time trying
to raise enough money to build a one-of-a-kind tree house
for sick children. Peyton has taken this challenge on as
his own, and along with the help of many other sports superstars,
he’s putting on the Tyler
Frenzel Charity Auction. This auction features a number
of items you can’t buy in any store including a round
of golf with Peyton, bowling with Jermaine O’Neal of
the Indiana Pacers, dinner with Tony Dungy of the Colts or
filling in as a guest sportscaster on the BOB&TOM Show.
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The
Guy
We Love to Hate
Comedian Jimmy
Pardo commands respect, and maybe some day hell get it. Even
though hes a well-accomplished standup comic with a number of impressive
credentials on his resume, Jimmy still feels like audiences, other comedians
and even BOB&TOM dont always give him the love he deserves.
Pardo's got a reputation for getting into fights with the our other guests,
and has been known to walk off the show from time to time, including
his infamous exit during a broadcast in the Bahamas. Pardo's
great on the radio, when you can keep him in the studio, but we all know
it's his face that's the money maker. Which is why you should make sure
to see him live when the chance presents itself, whether it be performing
his standup comedy, or his one-man show Attention
Must Be Paid: The Jimmy Pardo Story.
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He's
Paddy G.
It's true that comedian Pat
Godwin is one of our favorite guests, but it’s not just because
he always comes prepared with a handful of hysterical new tunes. A lot
of our love for the man comes from the fact that he leads such an extraordinary
life which is always packed with interesting, and often pathetic stories
that would never happen to anybody else. Whether he’s living in
a house with no furniture, trying to escape from a transgender stalker
or getting bitched out by Elton John in the middle of an Airport, we
never tire of hearing about his misadventures. Many of which he’s
put to music and can be heard on his album Under
the Bed, or on the new BOB&TOM album Sideshow.
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Saving
All the Good Jokes For the End of the Year
After a seven day rest, comedian Bob
Zany is poised to return to do what it is he
does best, The Zany Report.
Though he's often denied the laughs his jokes truly
deserve, Bob hasn't given up his personal mission
to deliver a Report that
requires zero fixing, and gets everyone in
the studio to laugh... at least once. And he'd better
do it this time around, because this installment
will be the the final Zany Report of 2004, and we
hear he becomes a free agent at the end of this season,
so now he's working for a contract. As a safeguard,
just incase this week's report doesn't live up to
his lofty goal, there's always "Fix-the-Joke,
Baby" and the "Bing Crosby Joke of the
Week" to save the segment... because everything
is funnier when there are prizes involved.
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"I Live by a code, but we don't have time to review it."
- Tom Griswold
" When a dog humps your leg, it's kind of an insult. Because out
of everyone at the party, he looks at your and thinks 'I think
I've got a shot with that guy'."
- Larry the Cable Guy
" When I smoked, I hated non smokers. Now that I've quite, I have
balance. I hate everybody."
- Pat Dixon
"Singing is praying times two."
- Tim Cavanagh
"I don't know why people video tape sex because after I
have sex, the only thing I can think of is that I'm glad nobody
saw
that."
- Mike Birbiglia
"I take it back, Kristi, the fez is a really stupid hat."
-
Tom Griswold after stating that the fez might have some practical
uses
"You just can't say no to Clint Black."
- Vic Henley
"
Like Chick often tells me when I'm crying at the vending machine,
don't take what Tom says seriously."
- Kristi Lee to Tammy Pescatelli after Tom said she looked
like a truck driver
"I want to invent no-scent soap, for the woman who cares
about the family of the guy she's messing around with."
- Corey Holcomb
"If you see a guy on pay phone, he's having an affair."
- Chick McGee
"I like to think of my body as a temple... or at least a nice
prespaterian youth center."
- Emo Phillips
" Lawyers have ruined Christmas."
- Bob Kevoian
" If a bicycle can make a man important then how do you explain
1 billion Chinese people."
- Chris Speyrer
on how you can't believe everything you read
" I don't know why I even turned your mic on today."
- Bob Kevoian to Chick McGee
"Campers are just homeless people with good credit."
- Kenny Smith
"Tall women want tall men because it fits. Short women want tall men because
they
want normal children. So no matter what, I lose out."
- Dan Kaufman on his short stature
"I've had trouble finding my wife's G-spot. I'm starting to think it might
be
a silent "G", like in the word gnat."
- Costaki Economopoulos
"I would never want to be in a religion where God told me I had to dress
like ZZ Top."
- Tom Griswold on Greek Orthodox
"I based the voice of Stimpy on Larry Fine from the Three Stooges, but I
changed it a little because I couldn't have a cartoon character sound like an
old, depressed, Jewish guy."
- Billy West
"Dreamers do not have strategic grill locations."
- Mitch Hedberg on his former boss' advice on how to cook fast food
"Is there a law against drinking beer in the studio?"
- Pat Dailey
"What's the fun of going to AA without having good stories"
- Dwight York on his bad habits
"Everyone knows the best type of hazing is tea bagging."
- Chick McGee
"I can't wait to never tell that joke again."
- Greg Hahn after telling a joke that didn't go over well
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