Monday, August 19, 2002
Oh God, Oh God...
New York – While Parishioners of St. Patrick’s Cathedral were involved in prayer, an amorous couple decided they were in the mood for a different kind of service.

Brian Franklin of Quantico, VA, and Loretta Lynn Harper of Alexandria, VA were arrested for allegedly having sex in a vestibule during mass at the would famous church.

“I cannot comment on this,” said Joe Zwilling, a spokesman for the Archdiocese of New York. This came after he was quoted calling the entire incident “disgusting.”

According to police reports, the couple was discovered by an usher who says he saw the two doing the deed in full view of churchgoers. Franklin and Harper are being arraigned on charges of public lewdness, which is only a misdemeanor in NYC.

Police also arrested comedian Paul Mercurio of New York. He is charged with broadcasting the entire episode, and acting as a lookout for the couple. According to police, all three say this was part of a radio stunt trying to get people to have sex in some of “riskiest places” in New York.

Though keeping a tight lip on the matter, General Manager Ken Stevens of the radio station involved issued a statement apologizing to those offended by people having relations in church. He also promised that measures have been taken to ensure that something like this won't ever happening again.

Monday, July 8, 2002
Baseball Team Hoping for Zero Attendance
CHARLESTON, SC– HBO’s Real Sports with Bryant Gumbel will send a crew to cover the RiverDogs "Nobody Night Monday" at Joseph P. Riley, Jr. Ballpark. That’s the night RiverDogs management will not allow anyone into the ballpark in attempt to set the professional baseball record for lowest attendance as the RiverDogs face the Columbus Red Stixx in a 7:05 p.m. start.

“We’re planning to have an official game played with no fans at ‘The Joe’ to see it,” says RiverDogs General Manager Derek Sharrer, adding, “and we’re thrilled that ‘Real Sports’ will let everyone know it’s not my idea.”

That honor belongs to RiverDogs President Mike Veeck, who says, “Baseball has some wonderful numbers, DiMaggio’s 56 and Cy Young’s 511, and I’m thinking we’ve got a real shot now at owning the number zero.”

Veeck’s past promotions have included Voodoo Night (a Friday the 13th event inadvertently scheduled on Good Friday “oops”) and the ill-fated Vasectomy Night (canceled within two hours of the announcement due to uproar). He was also the brains (“a lightly used term”) behind the infamous Disco Demolition Night promotion for the Chicago White Sox over two decades ago, which resulted in riots and the major league’s only forfeit of the last century.

Show producers for “Real Sports” are planning a documentary on Veeck and his antics, but have not released any air-date information.

From Official Website of Charleston RiverDogs

Tuesday, July 2, 2002
Sign-carrying gnomes take to Jersey streets
Garden gnomes carrying signs have mysteriously appeared on roads in Jersey. They've been spotted by motorists at various locations, but the reason behind their appearance is a mystery.

The gnomes' signs carry messages such as "Justice not Jail", "Generation Why" and "Elves Presley". It's not known who or what the gnomes are protesting about.

After a number of the gnomes were found early yesterday, several more appeared around the Island last night or were sent to companies including the JEP newsdesk and prominent members of the community.

They all carried with them a placard message and a note, which read: ‘Early yesterday morning, several of our members took to the streets to protest about the treatment of gnomes in our society.

‘Despite the peaceful gnature of our protests, many of our brothers have been taken into custody and are being held against their will. This is further proof of the oppressive anti-gnome regime.’

The letter warned that unless the gnomes were released in the Royal Square, at 5 pm tomorrow, there would be further action by the gnome army.


From The Jersey Evening Post

Wednesday, June 26, 2002
Couple Found in Deep Shi... errrr.... Trouble
A young couple had to be rescued after their car sank in a manure pit during a trip to the country. Craig Aitken took girlfriend Louise Edwards for a drive because she disapproved of his new expensive automobile.

She was mad at him spending so much money on his new car. He was hoping to patch things up during a drive in Kimmeridge, Dorset. But Craig drove into a manure pit and the car sank up to its windows. The couple had to climb out of the windows and on to the roof to ring for help.

The Daily Mail reports they were eventually rescued by a farmer. Craig says the adventure has actually brought the couple closer together.
The 19-year-old said: "We had a serious argument over whether I could afford it. I wanted to be alone with her to sort things out.
"I didn't see the pit because there was grass over it. Louise did not say a word to me until we plunged right into the middle and then she had a go at me. There was no way we could get out and we started to really panic."

Craig managed to get a message to emergency services as his mobile phone battery died but the couple didn't know their location. A police search helicopter spotted Craig waving Louise's red jumper from the roof of his car.

Farmer John Hole eventually rescued the couple by heaving the car out of the manure with his five ton tractor. He said: "I felt sorry for them because they were very embarrassed but we were all young once."
Craig has now sent his car off to be thoroughly cleaned. He added: "In a way the drive did help us to patch things up."

From Ananova

Monday, June 17, 2002
The action was "in tents"
Police in California who raided a private golf tournament say they found prostitutes' tents dotted around the course. They detained over 100 golfers and arrested six others during the raid on the Hidden Valley Golf Club in Norco.

The Times says an LA restaurant booked the course under the name Golf Ventures, thought to be an alias for its real name. As the 100 competitors and 19 women were taken off for questioning, six people were led from the course in handcuffs. The club says it is as shocked as police.

Lisa McConnell of the sheriff's department in Riverside County, east of LA, said: "As part of a golf tournament, sex acts were offered to participants for a fee. There were tents set up around the course where people could pay for sex."

Club manager Eric Roush said: "The restaurant had a few tournaments here - three or four I would say. We knew nothing about any of this activity."

From The UK Times

Thursday, June 13, 2002
Residents Don't Like Living On Sodom Road
CLINTON, N.Y. -- The Bible said God destroyed Sodom with fire and brimstone. Some people who live on Sodom Road are hoping petitions will be sufficient to do away with the name of their street. They're asking the town board in Clinton to change the name of Sodom Road to Edition Lane.

Twenty-five people who own property on the road have signed a petition in favor of the name change. Three others declined.
The biblical cities of Sodom and Gomorrah were known for their sinfulness before incurring the wrath of God.

The town historian said he doesn't know the origin of the road's name. Some residents said it was named after a general, while others say the road earned the name because a brothel was once located there.

From WDSU in New Orleans

Tuesday, June 11, 2002
Taxi rides free to couples who'll have
sex in the back
A bright pink London cab will tour the streets of Warsaw offering a free ride for couples brave enough to have sex on the back seat. The sex-on-wheels experience is the brainchild of a 26-year-old Swedish artist studying at the city's Academy of Art.

Polish radio station RMF FM reports it has provoked strong interest and people have been booking places for weeks in advance.

The radio reported: "The Swedish artist will provide citizens with a limousine complete with driver. The back windows will be tinted black and the seats will be extra comfortable to give couples that feeling of intimacy.

"Anyone will be able to ride the taxi completely for free. But there are two conditions: you must take your seat in the cab together with a partner and you actually have to have sex.

"For several weeks now the good people of Warsaw have been making reservations." The radio station is also sending its reporter Roman Osica out in the taxi, but as an observer.

From Ananova

Thursday, June 6, 2002
Scientists ponder why kangaroos fart
less than sheep
Australian scientists are trying to work out why kangaroos don't fart as often as sheep and cattle.Queensland Government scientists are investigating microbes in kangaroos' stomachs.

The Department of Primary Industries researchers want to isolate the bacteria in kangaroos that prevents the production of methane.

ABC News Online says they then plan to see if it can be used to reduce gas emissions from cattle and sheep.If successful, the move could reduce the greenhouse gas emissions from livestock.

Department of Primary Industries Minister Henry Palaszczuk said: "If we can have a breakthrough there, it'll be great news for the environment because at the end of the day it will mean a reduction in the 60 million tonnes of gas emissions that come from our cows and our sheep each year."

From Australian Broadcasting Corporation

Tuesday, June 4, 2002
Ozzy entertains the Queen
The Queen wore ear plugs as stars of the rock and pop worlds performed at the Party in the Palace. Police say the crowds watching the concert on giant screens in St James park were estimated to be well over a million people. The Queen took her seat to huge applause just before 10pm. She arrived just in time to catch Eric Clapton play Layla.

Sir Paul McCartney was top of the bill. "Her Majesty's a pretty nice girl but she doesn't have much to say," he sang with tongue in cheek. Queen guitarist Brian May started the concert with a solo on top of the palace roof. He was followed on stage by stars such as The Corrs, Toploader, Bryan Adams, Tom Jones and Tony Bennett.

Ozzy Osbourne caused a stir with Black Sabbath guitarist Tony Iommi, performing the heavy-metal anthem Paranoid. Ozzy left the stage shouting "God Save the Queen". Sir Elton John, who is currently on tour in Germany, recorded I Want Love in the Palace Music Room and was shown on the giant screens either side of the outdoor stage.

Beach Boy Brian Wilson was joined by guitar legend Eric Clapton, The Corrs, Sir Cliff, Atomic Kitten and Emma Bunton for a medley of Sixties surfing hits, including Good Vibrations. Sir Paul's set included one of George Harrison's songs, While My Guitar Gently Weeps, which he played along with Eric Clapton. The Beatles classic All You Need Is Love provided the finale with all the show's stars on stage.

Boy Becomes Sick After Airport Security Check
Teen Said Security Told Him To Drink From Bottle Of Stream Water
A 14-year-old Pennsylvania boy believes he become ill after security personnel at the Aspen, Colo., airport made him drink stream water from a one-gallon bottle he had in his backpack. The boy said he was carrying the Rocky Mountain stream water back to Pennsylvania to get extra credit in his biology class.

As part of new security measures at all airports, passengers must take a drink of any beverages they are taking aboard aircraft.
Elliot Gosko believes he contracted giardia after drinking from the bottle filled with stream water collected during his Aspen visit. Gosko said he became ill on the Easter Sunday flight from Aspen after drinking the water. He missed two days of school before seeing a doctor.

Health officials said that stream water, particularly in the springtime, is known to cause giardia or salmonella because of an increase of parasites in the water. He said he didn't question the airport screener's instructions because "I was just following orders," he told the Aspen Daily News. He said he was traveling alone on the Northwest Airlines flight. "My son, the bioterrorist," said George Gosko Jr., Elliot's father. But he still thinks security took it a little too far with his son. "They didn't ask him what it was or why he was carrying it," he told the News. "We're out here on the East Coast and we're close to what happened in New York City and I'm all for security. But I'm not for stupidity."

From the Denver Channel.com