 |
| When
Tom Griswold speaks, he often uses phrases that can be confusing
to most people. Here we attempt to
shed some light on what it is he's actually trying to communicate. |
| When Tom Says... |
He Means... |
| A |
|
| Adult Dancing Bar |
Strip Club |
| Aggressively Naked |
Indecent Exposure |
| Alligator Guy |
Crocodile Hunter |
| Amateur Singing Show |
American Idol |
| Arrow Deal |
Cursor |
| Ass Surgeon |
Proctologist |
| B |
|
| Bath Gel and Squirter Thing |
Liquid Soap |
| Bathrobe with a special belt |
Karate Gi |
| Batman Thing Projected on the Sky |
Bat Signal |
| Beautiful Marionettes |
Puppets |
| Big Pile of Hay |
Hay Stack |
| The Big Pipe |
High speed Internet Connection |
| Big Donut Thing You Pull With a Boat |
Tube |
| Billboard |
Movie Poster |
| Blue Thing on My Bed |
Comforter |
| Body Holder |
Casket |
| Book With a Lot of Stuff You Want to Buy |
Catalog |
| Box With a Turntable in It |
Record Player |
| Bracelet on Your Neck |
Necklace |
| Breath Machine |
Breathalyzer |
| Built-in TV Thing |
DVD Player in a Car |
| C |
|
| Camera You Can E-Mail |
Digital Camera |
| Car Store |
Car Dealership |
| Casserole Thing |
Pot Pie |
| Chihuahua Cut |
Brazilian Wax |
| D |
|
| Dance Hall |
Night Club |
| Dance Where Hands Tell a Story |
Hula Dance |
| Davenport |
Sofa |
| DNA Show |
CSI |
| Dope Man |
Drug Dealer |
| Driver of a Plane |
Pilot |
| Dr. Evil Movies |
Austin Powers |
| E |
|
| E-mail Thing |
Computer |
| Ear Thing |
Bluetooth |
| Electronic Switcher Thing |
Remote Control |
| F |
|
| Fake Beer |
Non-Alcoholic Beer |
| Fart Bag |
Whoopie Cushion |
| Floating Raft Where You Gamble |
Riverboat Gambling |
| Filler-up Gizmo |
Gas Tank |
| Flame Boy |
The Human Torch |
| Flip-flop Gizmo |
Blinds |
| Flip-socks |
Water Shoes |
| Foam Thing |
Cooler |
| Fourth Base |
Home Plate |
| Fun Hut |
Bounce House |
| G |
|
| Getting Mail Through a Secret Way |
Post Office Box |
| Gladiator Thing |
Chariots |
| H |
|
| Hair Bag |
Hair Net |
| Hair Sauce |
Hair Gel |
| Hair Sprinkles |
Highlights |
| Hair Therapist |
Hair Stylist |
| Haunted Thing |
Haunted House |
| Head Thing |
Letter Head |
| High Boots |
Go-Go Boots |
| High-Test Fuel |
Premium Fuel |
| Hose With the Flippers On It |
Fountain Drink |
| Hulk Hogan |
The Incredible Hulk |
| I |
|
| Internet Thing |
Web Browser |
| iPod Scramble |
iPod Shuffle |
| L |
|
| Lawnmower Thing |
Segway Scooter |
| Lion Tamer Guys |
Siegfried & Roy |
| Long Handled Beer |
Long Neck Bottle |
| Long Things with Legs |
Pantyhose |
| Looftwoofa |
Loofah |
| Lump at the Bottom of a Blimp |
Gondola |
| M |
|
| Meat, It's What's For Dinner |
Beef, It's What's For Dinner |
| Meatball |
Meat Loaf (the singer) |
| Measuring Stick |
Yard Stick |
| Medical People |
Doctors |
| Movie Where People Turn Into Monsters |
Men in Black II |
| N |
|
| Normal Daytime Stuff |
Business Hours |
| P |
|
| Pants That Tie At the Top |
Draw String Pants |
| Parachute Thing with a Boat |
Parasail |
| Pasta Cheese Food |
Spaghetti |
| Pass Around |
Handout |
| Pennies |
Jerseys |
| Perch That Sports Guys Broadcast From |
Broadcast Booth |
| Photo taken when you're arrested |
Mug Shot |
| Physical Doctor Type Person |
Proctologist |
| Place Where They Stack Cars |
Parking Garage |
| Pouch of Goo |
Placenta |
| Prickers |
Thorns |
| Professional Hair Cut Person |
Barber |
| Push Basket |
Shopping Cart |
| R |
|
| Really Long Carpet Remnants |
Rug |
| Rehearsing for a Game |
Football Practice |
| Rubber Michelin Man Looking Thing |
Kong Dog Toy |
| Running Machine |
Treadmill |
| S |
|
| "Say it Ain't True, Roy" |
"Say it Ain't So, Joe" |
| Sandpaper Stick |
Emery Board |
| Show Where People Have Their Own Music |
Peter & the Wolf |
| Sit-Down Tricycle |
Big Wheel |
| Sonar |
Ultrasound |
| Space Fabric |
Polyester |
| Space Sword |
Light Saber (from Star Wars) |
| Specialized Eye Stuff |
Eye Glasses |
| Spinner Thing |
Centrifuge |
| Statue With Pants On |
Mannequin |
| Stick and Telescope Guys |
Surveyors |
| Sticker-inner Thing |
Cell Phone Charger Plug |
| Sticks on the Front of a House |
Pillars |
| Stick Thing |
The Club (auto-theft device) |
| Stint You Do Overseas |
Tour of Duty |
| Stuff That Goes in Your Printer |
Ink |
| Sunburn Thing |
Tanning Bed |
| Super Bowl VIP |
Super Bowl MVP |
| Swimmy Watery Things |
Water Wings |
| Swivel Bucket |
Skip Loader |
| T |
|
| Tacos As Big As Your Face |
Burritos As Big As Your Head |
| Talking Machine in the Car |
Navigator |
| That French Bike Thing |
Tour de France |
| Thing That Tells You Who's Calling |
Caller ID |
| Thingy with the Pads |
Defibrillator |
| Thing You Rub |
Jeanie's Lamp |
| Train Driver |
Engineer |
| Trousers |
Football Pants |
| Truck Bed Pan |
Truck Bed Liner |
| Truck With a Little Bucket on It |
Cherry Picker |
| Turfurfen |
Turducken |
| U |
|
| Underpants |
Underwear |
| V |
|
| Video Machine |
DVD Player |
| W |
|
| Weird Beard Religion |
Greek Orthodox |
| Y |
|
| You look very fit, do you work out? |
You're gay right? |
