Last 30 Days

"In high school, I was kicked out of every football game I played in."
- Mean Joe Greene on how he became 'Mean Joe'

"If you beg enough, it starts to happen"
- Frank Caliendo on begging for applause

"Dick Mango used to just ruin 10 minutes of my day, now its like Chinese Water Torture."
- Chick McGee on Dick Mango playing at the Super Bowl Village

"A lingerie store is just like the grocery store only with slightly fewer boners."
- Bob Kevoian on shopping for women's underwear

"Is that the woman that stole all the deodorant? Raise your hand if you're sure."
- Bob Kevoian on the capture of the deodorant thief

"People booing the home team when they start losing is like sticking around the house and booing your ex-girlfriend after you break up."
- Reese Waters on booing

"I don't want to say her parents were racists, but they did racist things."
- Erik Rivera on meeting a girlfriend's parents

"For the last time, I do not want a breath mint."
- Greg Hahn to his date

"Well somebody say something... we're on the air!"
- Chick McGee coming out of a commercial break

"I think Kristi would make a great Madam."
- Chick McGee on Kristi running a brothel during the Super Bowl

"There's nothing more sad than a whore in a cast."
- Donnie Baker on prostitues

"There's no penetration in the conga line."
- Tom Griswold on inappropriate behavior

""Mitt for Brains" I think are what his supporters are called."
- Bob Kevoian on followers of Mitt Romney

"I am the exact opposite of a professional athlete. I broke my foot standing."
- James P. Connolly on his athletic ability

"Of course I know it's your birthday this weekend. I'm still pissed I took the under."
- Tom Griswold on Chick's upcoming birthday

"They smell like feet in the middle."
- Ms. Pat on the problems with having large breasts

"You might have a point, but we're all tired of you making it."
- Chick McGee to Tom Griswold while setting up a song

"I hate the toy Hall of Fame."
- Greg Behrenrt on the Toy Hall of Fame

"I still don't think you get the point of us being on the air."
- Chick McGee to Tom on reading sad news

"You get Jennifer Aniston as a lunch lady dancing on a pole eating a hot dog, you've got yourself a movie."
- Bob Kevoian on sexy lunch ladies