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Last 30 Days

"The sense of humor is the first thing to go."
- Tom Griswold on dating women

"I was told to point out that the topic is "things you hid from your parents," not "things you were beaten with.""
- Chick McGee on our phone topic

"We don't have to work in a hole, but we do have to work with one."
- Kristi Lee on the trapped miners

"If you look someone in the eyes you get a warning."
- Theo Von on playing the game "Gay Chicken"

"How much money would it take to get you to kiss me on the mouth?"
- Chick McGee on kissing Tom Griswold

"Me walking into an adult novelty shop is like Norm walking into Cheers."
- Bob Kevoian on sex toy stores

"If I didn't grab for the naughty parts right away, my wife would think I was having an affair."
- Bob Kevoian on Marital Relationships

"You never know when the "love bug" is going to strike. Even at work."
- Chick McGee on pleasuring yourself at work

"I bet she's not going to Vegas alone, and I bet she didn't buy her own ticket."
- Tom Griswold on our spray tan model

"I was on the Quotes Page once... back in 1995 I think."
- Frank Caliendo on not being quoted

"I accidentally walked in on my roommate and his girlfriend having sex. Fortunately they didn't see me for almost 10 minutes."
- Nathan Trenholm on having a roommate

"I can't donate.. all my money is tied up in wealth."
- Chick McGee on donating to charity

"I don't do drugs... I do girls that do drugs."
- Tommy Savitt on drug use

"Sam Jackson yelled at me on the set. It was funny... but I did soil myself."
- Will Ferrell on shooting his movie "The Other Guys"

"At the airport I heard a page for a guy named "T. Fortu""
- Tom Griswold on pages at the airport

"Cuban is the same as Spanish except that every other word doubles as "boat.""
- Chad Daniels on learning languages

"I keep waiting for you to do a walk-off sportscast."
- Tom Griswold to Chick McGee

"If the FBI starts calling in, make sure you refer to me as "Larry.""
- Bob Kevoian on the FBI

"Kristi is trying to tell a sweet little story then all of a sudden Tom's giant foot of judgement comes down - WHAM!"
- Chick McGee on Tom's Critique of Kristi's Sunflower

"The difference between classy and trashy is timing and planning."
- David Crowe on dating

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