The Bob & Tom Dictionary

A

Ahh… Cookie!

Typically yelled after cookies are mentioned in reference to the Nick Griffin bit about rich celebrities hiring people to swat cookies out of their hands in order to stay thin.

All By Myself

The Eric Carmen song played whenever discussing Kristi's less than enjoyable life as a single woman

All Y'all

The discreet way to tell a group of people "f" all of you

The Analmans

A fictitious couple that attends swingers parties and follows all the rules

And Cut…

Jim Gaffigan's way of ending a conversation or a situation he doesn't enjoy.

And Here It Is Now

what Chick says to irritate Tom when he can't find the request he is looking for.

B

B.O.

The nickname Vice President Joe Biden has given President Obama

…Because They're Fast

Describing why someone would be afraid of marsupials. In reference to Kevin Pollak's bit about Christopher Walken

Big Dee

Floyd Tucker's Wife

Bitter

A group of comedians

Boys Back in Screen Doors

Matt and Jason, the boys who put together all those great filmstrips for Furglar's Hardware

Break Off a 'lil Sumphtin' Sumpthin'

Our term for having sex, making love, doin' it, etc…

C

Camel Toe

The anatomical phenomenon that occurs when a woman wears tight pants, shorts or a bikini bottom. Also the title of one of our most popular songs.

Captain Dave

Shark hunter and captain of the "Chum Dumpster"

Can Someone Screen These Calls?

A question Tom often asks after we take a call that takes a very wrong turn.

Cart

A tape cartridge we used to use before the advent of modern electronic technology. It was similar to an 8-track tape.

Celebrating Bob's Birthday

Having sex

Check Local Listings

Our way to differentiate between events in various listening areas around the country.

Chick's Christmas Story

A story from Chick's childhood about a kitten on Christmas day. He's not allowed to tell it on the air ever again.

Classy…

Tom's way of pointing out that something is really idiotic or of poor taste.

Critty

Bob accidentally called Kristi "Critty" one morning and the term instantly took on a dirty connotation. Unfortunately, nobody knows it's exact meaning.

D

Dennis Parsons

Floyd Tuckers friend and guitar player who works at Mr. Fuel

Dirty Leg

Tom says this in his creeper old man voice and no one is exactly sure what it means. Just that he wants you to "bring that dirty leg over here."

Dishman

The guy who owns the company that Donnie Baker works for. He's Randy's boss, and the guy that hired Donnie.

Dog Fashion

Floyd Tuckers preferred position in his dealings with whores.

Doog/ Dog Log

A large bowel movement.

Double Shock Power

Originally from Don King's pre-fight press conference where he used the term to describe Mike Tyson's popularity. Now it's used by Chick to multiply the amount of one of his Shoe-in of the Week Picks.

E

Easy Jim!

Originally based on a news story about an "Easy Gym," it has become a way to tell someone to settle down, or 'hold on a second'

Easy Stalone!

After telling his fans to settle down, Steven Seagal often gets mistaken for Sylvester Stalone, which really ticks him off. This is typically followed by a beat-down and throwing of a Chinese Star.

Ernie Furglar

The store owner and operator of Ernie Furglar

Eunice Furglar

Ernie's late wife who accidentally suffocated to death after sealing all the doors and windows of her house shut with duct tape (purchased from Furglar's Hardware)

F

Factory Air

The little open space between a woman's upper thigh that appears when some women wear really tight pants or a bikini bottom.

Feces Horn

The horn Chick honks whenever feces comes up on the show.

Fiiiiiiiiiiish

The required group response whenever someone on the show mentions a species of aquatic life.

FINE!

Tom's method for ending a conversation he doesn't feel merits his attention. (See also "Perfect!").

Flagranté Dilecto

A sophisticated way of saying two people where having sex.

Floyd Tucker

An over the road trucker and one of our frequent callers. He enjoys turtles, whores, and telling jokes twice.

Friend of Hal

Members of the Morning Breath Club are known to be this.

Friggemall Industries

The parent corporation of The BOB&TOM Show.

G

Gamblin Money Aint Got No Home

How Chick justifies his gambling problem.

Get a Book of Names

Referring to the log you just 'gave birth to' in the toilet that is so big, it deserves to be named.

Glit

Glitter from a stripper's body that happens to find its way onto your clothing. Only important when you get caught with it.

H

Hail Hit…uh, Good Morning!

Chick's belief that all Germans greet each other this way.

Having My Car Brought Around

When things in the studio are not to Bob's liking, he will often pick up the phone and claim to be doing this.

Herm Johnson

An old man who lives in St. Petersburg, FL with his wife Marguerite. Loves to tell his story about his grand daughter and the alligator in the backyard.

Hi Boys!

The only two words infrequent caller "Delbert Duck" can usually get out before being hung up on.

Hit the Bricks Ug-a-mug

A quick way to tell the girl you just broke up with to leave the vicinity. Works better on ugly women. Made popular by comedian Brendon Walsh.

The Hey Howdy

When a dog comes up and sniffs your rear end while in a vulnerable position

Hoagie Slap

Gunner's terminology for the act of slapping his male member on the forehead of an unsuspecting female. Illegal in most states.

Hokey the Bear

Cousin of Smokey Bear. He is never to call in to the show… ever!

Howdie Do

Chick's favorite way to say hello early in the morning because it "energizes him."

Hundred Footer

A person that is so gay that you can tell from over 100 feet away.

I

I Get That a Lot

Steven Segal's response after being recognized by people he's arresting.

I Knew This Was a Scam

Uttered by the infamous "Big Dick Black" in the movie Hardcore. One of the greatest scenes of all time according to both Bob and Tom.

I'm Not the Droid You're Looking For

Referring to Chick's alleged mind-control ability (from Star Wars).

If This Is Playing Here, What's Playing in Hell?

Used to describe one's displeasure with the song that's currently playing.

In Any Event…

A phrase Tom often uses when attempting to switch topics or after his story has been interrupted.

It's a Long Story

A way for Tom to tell you he doesn't want to explain any further.

It's Very Complicated

Every story Tom tells about his life has an aspect to it that is too complicated for the rest of us to understand.

J

Jerkatorium

Any place a man can spend a few minutes alone with his, uh, thoughts.

Just One Bullet

Tom's solution for dealing with people like lawyers, people who file frivolous lawsuits, phone solicitors, etc…

K

Kablaam!

Tony's term on "Belly Up" for when everything is about to go to hell.

Kenny Tarmac

A world traveler, avid flier and frequent caller to the show. Known for his awful flight schedules and being on multiple calls at once.

Kristi's Neighbor Mike

Kristi's next-door neighbor that looks exactly like Clint Eastwood.

L

Ladder Song

A song so bad that you would climb down the ladder while working on the roof to change the radio station

Let's Do It!

How Dr. Phil starts every one of his phone calls to us

Lick lick lick lick

Used to not so subtly imply that someone is a lesbian.

Long Time Listener, First Time Caller

The way all of the callers greet Mr. Obvious on his show. Unless of course it's their second time calling.

Longest Night of His Life

Morgan Freeman describes most of Andy Dufrense's nights in Shawshank prison this way due to constant run-ins with the bull queers there.

Look at the Time

When the conversation gets out of control, this is Kristi's way of saying "we'd better go to commercial."

"Looks Like We Made It…"

The Barry Manilow song played to illustrate how a comedian or other guest has gone nowhere in life.

M

Mahoggers

The suction tubes used to send canisters back and forth to the drive-thru tellers.

Meat Lovers

Used whenever we can't understand what someone is saying. In reference to a bit in which an incoherent Ozzy Osbourne tries to order a pizza, and the guy on the other end knows he wants a Meat Lover's pizza.

Mee-Mee-Mee-Mee

This is the sound men hear when women speak… especially Kristi.

Mike

Kenny Tarmac's ill-fated underling. Often on the other line with Kenny when he calls.

Mitchell

Donnie Baker's nosey neighbor.

Mommy Parts

A much gentler and radio friendly way to mention our favorite parts of the female anatomy.

Mondore

The most frequently used last name for characters in our bits.

Mr. Breath and Mr. Head

Chick and Tom's pet names for one another. Both Breath and Head have the same first name… Dick.

Mulch Madness

A promotion put on every spring at Furglar's Hardware.

Munch

A group of lesbians

N

Nasty Stuff

Chick's favorite term for a woman's "special place." Made famous in a song by the same title.

Nice Presentation

Commenting on the appearance of a woman's large heaving breasts.

Northwest Baby Passage

The name Bob has given for the lower part of the female anatomy .

O

On Account of My Cholesterol

The reason Floyd Tucker can't do ANYTHING the way he used to. Doctor's orders.

On My Mother's Birthday

Tony Soprano hates it when someone pisses him off on his mother's birthday… which seems to be almost every day.

On the Beach

Radio-speak for being out of work. (Not uncommon in our business)

Owe Bob $50

For some reason, anybody we have on the show that makes a substantial amount of money seems to owe Bob cash.

P

Paa-paw

The name given to Tom whenever he makes obscure references that haven't been relevant since the 60's.

Perfect!

See "Fine!"

Pork Pistols

Donnie Baker's current band.

The Practice

A term Chick uses for excessive masturbation to make it seem more acceptable

Pretty Good

James Gandolfini's most coming phrase to describe himself or the candy he's currently eating on the sports program "Belly Up."

R

Rabbit, Rabbit, Rabbit

This must be said at the very beginning of the first show of every month in order to keep the evil spirits away.

Radio Pussies

Captain Dave's pet names for the gang

Randy

Donnie's direct supervisor, and frequent butt of his jokes. Can often be heard telling Donnie to "Get off the phone."

Record That For My Car Alarm

Tom's description of the annoying sound a group of women talking.

Renee

The producer of "Belly Up" who comes up with all the great ideas to improve the show… most of which Tony hates.

Redskins Room

The room in Chick's house that contains all of his Redskins memorabilia.

Rick

Not much is known about this frequent caller other than he likes to use the term 'little bit'

Road Mung

Whatever happens on the road or while performing on the road stays there.

S

Scallions

The phrase Larry King's often uses to express excitement

Scoreboard

What Chick tells his opponents when his Shoe-In of the Week record is better than theirs.

Scotty Winkler

Donnie's best friend and guitar player of the Pork Pistols. Donnie claims he's a bad ass.

Shadoobie

It must be used after any word that rhymes with shattered. This is in reference to the Rolling Stones song Shattered in which they sing "Shadoobie, shattered, shattered…"

Shoe-In of the Week

Chick's yearly NFL Pick 'em in which he bets against the spread. In recent years he's been challenged by a Rooster, a Donkey and Grandmothers. It is misspelled on purpose, in honor of his unnatural love of athletic shoes.

Shut Up Randy

Phrase often used by Donnie Baker to tell his boss to leave him alone.

Snooze Job

An intimate activity taking place in the morning when you only have 8 minutes to complete the deed.

...So What?

Chick's question after reading a story about an attempt at a pointless world record

Sodomy Bell

The bell Chick hits whenever sodomy is mentioned or implied

Something Better Get Touched

A phrase used by Chick to imply that something is way too expensive, and that the only way the price makes sense is if there is an 'added bonus.'

Steven Segal!

Must be yelled whenever the action star is in the news or comes up in conversation.

Strange

When you get a little "Nasty Stuff" from an stranger while on the road.

Suuuuuuuuuck!

Phrase used to show displeasure at someone or something. Bob typically uses this to describe Mondays.

T

T'aint

Also known as the perineum, it's the area between the privates and the behind. Used because it t'aint p—y and it t'aint ass.

Tang Alarm

Goes off in Bill Clinton's house whenever hot women or sex are in the news

That's Not Enough!

Chick's reasoning when choosing to go with the favorite when betting against the point spread.

There-You-Go

Made famous by Marge, this is a bold statement of the blatantly obvious

This is You and Me Later

The act of drawing a dirty picture on a napkin and showing it to your date… or a total stranger.

This Reporter

The reporter who wrote the story that Chick ripped out of the newspaper

Tobeck

Kenny Tarmac's Boss

True Testament to the Human Spirit

Used in mockery of the host of "Guinness Prime Time," Chick uses this phrase to describe the feats of those bored enough to break worthless world records

W

Walk Us Through…

What Chick says when he wants Tom to explain a simple concept down to its most basic components

Want to Buy a Boat?

A question Donnie Baker often asks our other guests. He's been trying to sell his boat for years and has yet to have anyone show any interest.

We Just Landed…

Catchphrase of Ken Tarmac, a frequent caller and traveling salesman who talks way too loud on his cell phone at the airport

We're On Your Side

Said by Chick McGee after the mention of any local television news station.

Weekend Guys

The mysterious folks who seem to always lose items and rearrange Tom's area over the course of a weekend

What Do Your Friends Call You?

Sarcastically asked by Chick whenever a caller gives the abbreviated version of their first name (i.e. Jim, Mike, Dan etc.)

Whatever, Queer

Made popular by Daniel Tosh, it's used to dismiss someone who has said something you disagree with

Whiskey Disk

When you go to do something on your computer and it doesn't work.

Write 'Em A Check & Tell 'Em To Go Hell

Tom's philosophy on how to get rid of people who continually complain about things he does

Y

You Ain't No Count

Phrase used by Floyd Tucker to express to someone that he doesn't think they amount to anything.

You Guys Rock

The standard greeting when calling in to the BOB&TOM Show.

You Have Had Sex Before, Right?

A question Chick often asks Tom after an odd statement or question

You Pick Color!

The aggressive way in which some Asian nail salons tell customers to pick a nail polish color. Often said with a stereotypical Asian accent.